the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Dane was trying to enjoy yesterday’s weather while catching up on some reading he’s got to do for school, but Coco cannot control herself around him. As much as Marlo loves Dane, multiply that love by a gazillion and that’s about half of how much this dog loves him. If he’s not engaged with her she whines and paces and demands that he give her all of his attention. She’s like the very jealous girlfriend he will never have to deal with.

I have him a bit of advice when this starts to get out of hand and told him to pick her up and cradle her like a baby. It’s how I trained her as a puppy, I’d hold her for hours and hours like this and wouldn’t let her go. I was like, this is your job right now to sit still like this. DO YOUR JOB. So now whenever anyone cradles her she’s like, SHIT. NOT THIS. NOT MY JOB. UUUUUGHHH. Shuts her right up.

Also, she is in dire need of a bikini wax.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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