the smell of my desperation has become a stench


I found Leta’s old winter clothes this weekend, lucky for Chuck. Tons of pajamas, long pants, long sleeve shirts and sweaters. She’s so much bigger than Leta was at her age that she’s wearing size 5 and 6. Leta wore these pajama bottoms last winter. Even in some of the bigger clothes Marlo’s belly will poke out from underneath a shirt. She’s a really stocky kid, and my mother says I was built just like that. But when I turned 13 years old my Hamilton DNA kicked in and I grew seven feet. In case the same thing happens to her I’ve already started stocking up on the ibuprofen: HOLY LEG CRAMPS.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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