the smell of my desperation has become a stench

And lo, it was good

Those are just a few of the stuffed animals that Santa left for Marlo by the fireplace (seen embraced by both girls), but what’s more important here is his ingenious way of wrapping their gifts. None of the gifts had tags, but we figured out that Leta’s gifts all had green bows because they match the color of her eyes. Leta then asked why Marlo’s gifts all had red bows and not blue, and I shrugged while guessing, “Maybe to match color of the lasers she shoots with them.”

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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