This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

He found the light

I hadn’t been watching or reading the news very much and when I heard of the Polar Vortex I first thought it was a winter coat sold at REI. Then the image of Mercury being in retrograde came to mind so I bought maybe it was a planetary phenomenon. Soon my friend Carol sent me that screenshot of the weather app on her phone and everything finally came together. I cannot imagine what heating bills for people in the Midwest are like this month given that mine nearly doubled in January and it hasn’t been anywhere near that cold. I haven’t touched the temperature on the thermostats, and I’ve even turned off entire zones completely. All of my sympathy, and Chuck’s (he goes around the house looking for the light to soak up the warmth), go out to you when you open that bill.

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