– Long-exposure portraits of Earth’s 43 brightest cities as shown by NASA’s map of the planet at night. #tmn
– Somewhere the Universe messed up and I was not born Japanese.
There’s a common sense that the Internet is just a collection of sad adolescent trolls hiding in their parents’ basements throwing digital feces through the proverbial bars, but the truth is much worse. Everyone is throwing the digital feces. The trolls just enjoy it a little more.
– WTF: Members of the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs choir perform a rousing rendition of Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ before Friday’s Opening Ceremony
– Mean Girls director Mark Waters spills 10 juicy stories, 10 years later
Investigative journalism is one thing. But the Court of Public Opinion is what we used to call villagers with flaming torches. It has no rules, no arbiter, no mechanism at all for separating truth from lies. It allows everything into evidence and has no mechanism to separate facts about the case from the experiences and political leanings of the millions of us who are all acting as witnesses, judges, and jurors.
– Whatever, kid. It’s just rain. Whatever. And I’m not emotional at all.
– GODDAMMIT. I AM NOT EMOTIONAL.
– Anither drive-thru prank: “Did somebody just call my name?”
– Pictures of a refuge in Arkansas home to 60 animal friends who hang out together
– Considering my recent roasted pistachio obsession, this is amazing
– Chicago Dibs: the practice of holding a shoveled-out parking space after a heavy snowfall by putting chairs, laundry baskets, or other items in the street to mark the claimed space
– A few of my favorite recent tweets:
An email from parents: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: Obama's a Muslim
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) January 27, 2014
I'm sorry I got salsa on your baby and I'm extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip
— Jamie (@spacej_me) December 14, 2013
I'm not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
— thelongestcvsreceipt (@johnbiehl) July 24, 2011
On the new CNN Diet where I listen to Wolf Blitzer say "Christie probe" and projectile vomit.
— Wile E. Quixote (@ScottLinnen) February 3, 2014
I'm not being sexist or anything but I will turn the N64 off and start over if Peach is beating me in Mario Kart
— S.A.M. (@SamuelMoen) December 28, 2013
My favorite part of Obamacare is the Emancipation of People From Miserable Jobs They Hate provision.
— Pauly Miller (@Pauly_Miller) February 5, 2014
Waiter: Hi, can I take your order? Me: *whispers* I order you to love me
— moody monday (@mdob11) September 11, 2013
"oh no, this is so scary or whatever lol" -giraffe in quicksand
— chuuch (@ch000ch) January 22, 2014
It's weird how after they couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together the King's men were like "Let's give the horses a shot at it"
— Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) January 30, 2014
Hey nice try, people named Tristan. Or I should say Stan Stan Stan.
— Growly Grego (@GrowlyGrego) December 3, 2013
I bet a tough part of fielding calls at a poison control center is not finishing most of your sentences with "…you unbelievable dumbass."
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) January 21, 2014