the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Stuff I found while looking around


– Photos: Northern Lights illuminate the UK

“Wild Animals Practically Pose For Him”

– Yes, it’s Buzzfeed, but oh my god I’m crying.

The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon: When a thing you just found out about suddenly seems to crop up everywhere

– “Found this armadillo gathering leaves and did what any respectable human being would do.”

The dresses worn by all the best actress Oscar winners

– Even if these are all fake, some are funny as hell.

The Value of Four-Dollar Toast:

$4 dollars for a thick slice of toast that took intention and time and patience. And this whole other network of farmers who are raising grains in a certain way and, you know, a miller who is milling it in a certain way. I feel like I’m buying that whole system, and I’m helping to keep that system alive.

– Guns N’ Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine” retooled as 1920s New Orleans Jazz

– Well, this is appropriate considering today’s Daily Chuck.

Hockey players with pets

I Hope You Enjoy This Artisanal Knuckle Sandwich:

I hope by now you’re getting a sense of how badly you’re going to be hurt by my fury. If not, I can spell it out for you on your vintage typewriter. But I doubt that it even has ribbon in it, that’s the kind of pretentious turd you are. Other than your extensive vinyl collection and mad programming skills, I don’t know what Emily ever saw in you!

Asymmetry“An average of 15 hours of family time sacrificed”

The Happiest States In America: I could make a joke here about red states BUT I WON’T DO THAT.

The Last Time I Speak About Being a Single Mom:

Two former classmates have said that I am a mother who is a single woman. No. When I have my munchkin, which is more often than not, I have her to myself. I am having a solo parenting experience in many ways. When I come home tired, broken, sick, frustrated and I’m greeted by a child who needs everything? That falls on me. My ex and I do not share visitation time. When she is with him, she’s with him. When she’s with me, she’s with me. I do my part alone and I’m not going to just run out and find the first Negro willing to marry me so that I can have some help. I am a single mom.

– Bless your heart, Texas.

– Bless your heart, Utah.

Presenting Creepy Matt Lauer

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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