the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Dog hacks

Whenever Marlo is around food the dogs magically appear underfoot. They don’t really bother me or Leta when we’re eating because I guess they’ve figured out that we’re better at getting the food into our mouths than she is. If I have called for Chuck and he is taking his leisurely damn time to come, I just give Marlo a handful of goldfish crackers. Problem solved. Oh the tricks we learn when our dogs are assholes!

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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