the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Status report

While I was in California over the weekend, Tyrant’s good friend Julio (he’s my good friend as well) took care of both dogs. He loves these pups and continued to feed Chuck the probiotics we’re using to try to cure him of his, ahem, problem. When I returned on Monday the report was that Chuck had not farted once all weekend. Success! Right?!


Not 20 minutes after receiving this report Chuck walked right up to me and gifted me his fart. Like, glad you’re home, THIS IS FOR YOU. And then he farted for the next two hours.

I’m going to practice being a person who sees the glass half full here. Watch this: it’s like when kids see their mom at the end of a school day and suddenly feel comfortable enough to fall apart and cry. He see me and thinks, THANK GOD, I can finally release the air from my butt.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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