the smell of my desperation has become a stench


He is so lucky that I am not an avid crafter because I’d have a room full of shit like this. Be glad, Chuck, that I was not your average Mormon. Googly eyes, fabric, pipe cleaners, glue guns, glitter… I’d sew him elaborate suits and capes and butterfly wings while singing church hymns. And then he’d poop right in the middle of a roll of butcher paper.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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