• http://tequilamockingbird.blogspot.com julia

    talk you out of it?
    secret. underwear.
    that is all.

  • http://www.funktrain.com Jonah

    Ultimately, you will find that if you can be happy living somwhere you can be happy living anywhere. The bottom line is that you make your life happy, the place you live does not.

  • http://taraonline.org tara

    I hear you, sister. The same reason I moved from LA back to the Bay Area (too expensive), and then why we finally made the move to leave the state altogether. We want all of the things you and Jon want, and we are so much closer to getting it now. It was a hard decision and a hard move (I left my family, he came to some family so I guess it could be worse), but ultimately it will be worth it for us.

    And hey, look at all the Portland people here! I am now in Portland too, I cannot really say I totally miss CA (except for my family). This move was definitely worth it.

    Also, Dooce – you will notice that the cost of taking a U-Haul out of CA is about 10x more than taking it in. Frustrating yes – the move was quite expensive for us (considering the whole reason to move was to save money, buy a house, and have kids!) but I think it will be good for you two (and Chuck). Good luck to you and may it be a smooth and easy transition.

  • Lynn

    Oh wow. Does this mean you’ll have 8 kids in 5 years? I’m sensing yes — I know nary a Morm who’s not been ‘washed upon moving out there. Good luck, good luck.

    Lemme pose this question, though — if you weren’t Mormons, and your family weren’t (i.e. they didn’t live there), where else would you choose to embark on your new adventure?

  • d

    From reading your posts over a series of months, I think you would do just fine in Utah. I don’t see you being assimilated like some weak-minded people. You know you aren’t into that “thing” and you won’t fall for it. As a whole, Mormon’s are nice people. They are generally giving and kind. However, don’t move to a small town in Utah. It seems small-town Mormon’s are very protective of “their town” and seriously run out people they don’t want there. Don’t know if they do the same for non-Mormons, but I’ve heard of them doing it to multiple Mormon families. Which makes 0 sense to me, wouldn’t you want more of “YOUR KIND” around not less? Anyway, I digress.. Utah, like someone mentioned, is not as bad as it used to be. The population in SLC is 50/50 like The Husband said, so it’s not a majority like it once was. Since the Olympics, the place has changed and the people have realized there is another world out there. Yes, in SLC you will see Temple Square from just about any place. But you can buy a coffee, drink beer and so “real” movies there as well. One tip: don’t move to Provo. I visited there last year and it is quite the hokey town. They played about 3 movies, all of which were edited to “G” rating and everything shuts down Saturday night around 10. Try getting some gas. It took us forever to find someplace that was open. Whatever you decide, please keep posting here. We will miss you if you leave (again).

  • http://www.thumbtackjungle.com Dave

    Two words: San Francisco

    The average price of a back yard here is only $479,999.

  • http://www.malville.com Mal

    The hub is right, except that now the mo/nomo stats from SLC edge more toward 40/60 and will, in the next 5-10 years, approach 30-70. Plus, three words: skanky dyke bars. It’s all about raising babies on 3300 South, kids. Check into it.

  • http://translucent.nu Katie

    You were Mormon? This makes this webpage that much better.

  • Dave Thomas

    Some of you aren’t getting it. The Blurbo-Dooces LIVED IN UTAH. They’ve lived in several Utahn cities, including Salt Lake and Provo. They’ve visited more small Utah towns than most card-carrying polygamists. What’s more, they’ve both been Mormon. In short, there’s nothing any of you can tell them about Utah or Mormons. What’s next? You going to warn Martians about the dangers of radiation exposure and red dirt?

  • http://www.stuntman.fi/htm/tuotteet/liput/lippu28.jpg HEY DAVE T.

    excuse the fuck out of me…

  • http://convivial.blogspot.com Heather #2

    That was funny – the link. Although my coworkers were a little, how shall I say – disturbed?

  • MRKINLA

    The only arguments I could provide against moving from L.A. would be the things I’d miss: KCRW, the sunlight on a “winter” afternoon when it’s 72 degrees, random weirdness (ever have your best friend’s mother, a Brentwood housewife, try to get you to start taking blue-green algae for your health?), being able to drive from sandy beaches to snowy mountains in two hours, Tuk Tuk Thai on Pico, Illiterature and Pulp on La Brea, LACMA, MOCA, the scary hooker that hangs out in front of the Salvation Army downtown that has a good $1 vinyl selection, the Huntington Gardens in Pasadena, tan toes, Angelyne sightings, the hamburgers at Father’s Office on Montana, the Barnes & Nobles at the Grove (no, it’s not just any Barnes & Noble — oh no), the scent of night jasmine, birds of paradise in my front yard, Amoeba Records, a summer concert at the Hollywood Bowl, Sunset Junction in Silverlake, sadly reflecting that my hands are the same size as Marilyn Monroe’s (and I’m a man) at Mann’s Chinese Theatre, the 10 freeway at midnight, fireworks in the Marina, Griffith Observatory and the gates at Paramount and that fabulous sign for the real estate development called “Hollywoodland” … I could go on and on. It’s so expensive to live here because it’s so many people’s dream to be here. Not everyone’s, and some very nasty, unstable, cruel people at that — but I wouldn’t trade it, at this point in my life, for anywhere else in the world.

  • http://www.dennis.ca/weblog dennis

    Come to Canada! With those $2 you could buy something snazzy — and you wouldn’t have to suffer through Shlitz!

  • Dave Thomas

    Well, whoever you are, you have a point. After all, Dooce asked to be talked out of it. There’s just a lot of suppozin’ and conjecturizin’ and whatnot from some not-well-informed circles. Who am I to object?

  • http://www.talkingcrow.com/blog/ rosebaby

    oh god don’t. at least visit regions north. portland is great, seattle is great, vancouver even, is great! i was born in LA and grew up mostly in Huntington Beach. i can’t stand southern california anymore, but UTAH?!!! no no no. having a baby isn’t enough reason to throw your life away. if you’re too depressed to get up in the morning, no one will be happy.

    move, by all means, move, just move to someplace reasonable.

  • anna

    i just moved from atlanta (LA of the south) to arkansas (utah of the south) and i like it just fine.

    go – have a baby. love your dog. take some AWESOME photos on the way there. and remember: you can always move back.

    or whatever.

  • deadking

    what the hell i guess your promises aren’t worth much

  • http://www.grillboy.net/ michael

    Well…I don’t think I will be able to talk you out of it beacause my wife and I may be in the same boat soon.
    We live north of LA and have a baby coming in a couple months and are also contemplating a move to Utah for similar reasons. Her family lives out there and we are damn near broke.
    Good luck, maybe we can all hang out and drink beer & coffee in secret.

  • Zeek

    I’m with Dennis on this one – the sticker price on Toronto real estate is about half that of LA, and given that the C$ is just about on par with the peso…
    Also – great summers, all the gross weather you can handle come winter, and only 45 minutes to the snowbelt for snowboarding/blading/skiing.
    AND (added bonus) “dry county” is a completely foreign concept (I actually had to get someone to explain it to me).
    I’m afraid your sister’s hair doesn’t live here though. Hmm…

  • http://www.megchem.com megchem

    I’m applying for a job in Boulder, CO….CO is cool…so is MT…I miss Bozeman, great family town and the mountain is 16 miles from town and the midwife in the town rocks! My back yard in LA only cost 280k, but i haven’t met many parents that i like.

  • http://finleydataservices.com/weblog/ Stan

    Come on back Dooce. This is the most beautiful place in the world.

  • http://render.diaryland.com Render

    Don’t do it Dooce. I am living vicariously through your stories of L.A. Your brushes with fame, etc. First your indie cred, now this?! Your cool quotient is plummeting. You can’t afford to do this to yourself. ;-)

  • http://www.pizzadreaming.com statia

    Sure, bukkake might be legal, but think, no oral sex. That means no getting either. Quite frankly, that’s reason enough for me to never even visit Utah. I wonder if they were busting people in hotel rooms during the Olympics. Hmm.

  • http://www.windwardskies.com Lisa

    When California got too expensive for me, I moved to Hawai`i. It’s not that much cheaper, but at least if you end up homeless you won’t starve or freeze.

  • http://www.ericalynn.com ericalynn

    ooh, man. Don’t do it. I lived in Ogden, Utah for all of eight months and I thoroughly regret each one. Bad food. Stupid alcohol laws and watered down alcohol, everyone Mormon and completely not understanding of those who aren’t – especially those who have left Mormonism… I am sure I don’t need to go on. You both know all this. Please don’t go!

  • http://www.halftone.org Neal

    Well, at least Utah will provide a myriad of new material for the site.

  • http://www.schussman.com/ alan

    Born and raised in Ogden, UT. Utah has screwed up politics and growing up there as a non-Mormon can be difficult. On the other hand, it’s beautiful, has a very strong non-Mormon culture , and -gasp- can be a really nice place to live. Honestly. Most people really have no damn idea. It would be like saying “Boston?! Hell, you can’t move to Boston! There are Catholics there!” Also, while I agree with ericalynn that Ogden is a culinary wasteland, it is home to my very favorite microbrewery: Roosters on 25th St. Go to SLC to go out for dinner. Did I mention the skiing? Good luck in the move.

  • http://isleofavalon.blogspot.com scared of mullets

    ChrisWhere else can you get a 2 bedroom apartment for 425 dollars a month? Answer, Arcata California….

  • http://www.jeanettecline.com Jeanette

    How could you move from where it all happens to where it never happens? DON’T GO!!!!!

    I must admit though, I have often wondered how anyone could ever afford to live out there. WTF is up with the high ass CA prices?

  • PDX SUX

    Well, I used to LOVE Portland. But now it’s a piece of poo, IMHO.

    Second-worst unemployment in the country, rain out the ass, etc.

    Sure, it’s got Stephen Malkmus, artiness to spare and a nice feel and awesome urban planning. But it’s also got an overwhelming expanse of rednecks and the houses are expensive. Shopping for a house, I ended up in “Felony Flats,” which is a redneck ghetto with gravel/dirt roads in the midst of the city. Very “progressive.”

    Finally, with a 26% tax BEFORE income taxes on the plate potentially due to the up-for-vote legislation to socialize medicine, you gotta think twice about the fact that “high achievers” and the types that are exceptionally skilled will leave while the state gets invaded by basket cases from around the country looking for cheap medical care.

    Portsburgh indeed.

  • Chukee

    I think Utah sounds wonderful. Wonderful because you can actually consider buying a house in the Avenues – it won’t cost $480,000 unless it has six bedrooms (not uncommon in Utah).
    Wonderful because no one drives an Audi TT and complains about how down she is because her Daddy can’t get her a newer one. Wonderful because generic cola comes in 3-liter bottles. Wonderful because I once bought an apple green cashmere coat at the DI for $8 (Utah has the best vintage).
    My husband and I are designers in Venice who are actively marketing to overseas clients, so that we can move to Utah without anyone noticing. (I think we will go to Logan.)

    Neither of us are LDS. He has lived there before, and I love it there. Besides, nowhere else is it so easy to be an “individual”.

  • http://www.helenjane.com helenjane

    guess i won’t be going anymore, thanks for the advice!

  • Brook

    I live in LA so I’ve always related to your weblog. I even saw you once at Starbucks, but I didn’t say anything. It was just like when you saw Giovanni Ribisi in the elevator at the Sunset 5. It’s not polite to bother celebrities. You’re a celebrity in my book. It was the Sunset 5, wasn’t it. You didn’t mention the theater in the post but I knew it. See what I mean. If you go to Utah I’m going to be lost. I think Utah is a very bad place, don’t go there. It’s bad.

  • http://www.golf-blogger.blogspot.com Billy

    All I know about Utah, other than “Shake out that sleeping bag, man. There might be a scorpion or two in it,” is that the fine on my speeding ticket was pretty small, considering how fast I was going. Good luck on the move.

  • http://ponevac.com Dave

    Utah has beautifull countryside. Reminds me of my home country. Also as a snowboarding fanatic, i just gotta love UTAH (snoooow). Other than that, i don’t know much about mormons or the stupidity of common folk.

  • brent

    hurry your asses up, snow’s comin!
    dave, i love you
    my dogs live in my yard. chuckles can visit.

  • http://www.realityremixed.com Keith

    FUCK! I finally get out to L.A. and you’re moving away? This sucks. Do NOT rent from U-Haul. They are evil. They almost stranded me on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere for a night. Both the trucks they gave me broke down. Full details of my U-Haul hell — which only occurred last week — are available on my site or by request. And hey, any chance I’ll get to meet you & the husband before you leave?

  • http://www.onegirlslife.com Robin

    I LOVE Utah, I am not a mormon. I was just in Park City as a matter of fact!

  • Randy Newman

    From the South Bay to the Valley
    From the West Side to the East Side
    Everybody’s very happy
    ‘Cause the sun is shining all the time
    Looks like another perfect day

    I love L.A. (We love it)
    I love L.A. (We love it)

    Vs

    Land of the mountains high,
    Utah, we love thee!
    Land of the sunny sky,
    Utah, we love thee!
    Far in the glorious west,
    Throned on the mountain’s crest,
    In robes of statehood dressed,
    Utah, we love thee

  • http://nikkihoh.com Nikki Hoh

    Grew up in L.A., moved away ten years ago, haven’t thought about it since. Escape while you still can.

  • http://www.cyberdorks.com/drew drew

    i also grew up in l.a., burbank to be exact, but moved to wisconsin in ’95. i don’t miss it at all except for in&out burgers. my wife and i now own a farm house with a few barns on 5 acres (265,000 square feet) for 1/4 of that average backyard price. no joke.

    get out while you can.

  • http://delicateflower.prettyposies.com hey megchem!

    pray that you don’t get the job in boulder. boulder is L A M E. take it from one who moved here from austin. *sobs*

  • http://roadsidepeek.com/ ALLISONIC

    Well, if this isn’t collective unconsciousness at work. Next week on FM Nation, they’re going to Salt Lake City, Utah!!!!

  • Sara

    I would like to point out that New Mexico is cheaper than Utah (someone mentioned a two-bedroom apartment for 425? you can get a fairly nice two-bedroom here for that [in big cities] or around 300 [in smaller cities and suburbs]), much less religious-conservative-Mormon than Utah, and has excellent OB-GYNs due to its high rate of teenage pregnancy.

    Um.

    Not that you should go to New Mexico, Dooce, but don’t look at Utah as your only option. I know too many people who went crazy in Utah — almost as many as went crazy in LA. ;)

  • http://www.shiftyeye.com dclay

    What about moving home? Isn’t it Tennessee? Lord knows livin’ is cheap in the deep South, especially if you can “skin a buck” and “run a trot line”.

  • http://amstershiresauce@lycos.com Amstershiresauce

    Madison, Wisconsin.
    Cheaper cost of living, cool people, yet small town feel.
    Good restaurants. Perfect distance from Chicago.
    The skiing’s not as good as Utah by far, but you would stand a better chance of surrounding yourselves with like minded cool-ass folk like yourselves.

  • rd

    I live in a state that yesterday elected a Mormon Governor. Never in my WILDEST dreams would I have thought this could happen in New England. But it did. So, frankly, I can’t talk you out of it because I’m still trying to comprehend yesterday’s election results.

  • scp

    Love the website, and as far as towns go would say Fort Collins, CO. One of the best smaller cities in the country, not as close as Boulder is to the skiing, but it doesn’t suck like Boulder either.

  • http://trampolines.blogspot.com Mark of Eagle Mountain

    I just moved to eagle mountain from Louisville, KY. Beautiful and isolated. 45 minutes from Salt Lake.

    http://www.utahrealestate.com has good listings.

    “I think people tend to either be swayed by the church or reactionary to it–either way it’s influencing you.” –this sounds very true.

  • Another ExMo

    Oh dear. I don’t think I could do that, myself, and yet I’m very sympathetic to the, um, fiscal realities mentioned. How anyone affords to live in L.A. is beyond me. That said, there are 48 other states in the union that are neither colonized by Mormons, nor prohibitively expensive in which to live.

    My mom, a TBM, considered moving back to Utah a couple of years ago. Two things dissuaded her: (1) though devoutly Mormon, there’s just something about a whole state full of “her people” that has always put her off (she grew up there and got out as soon as she could), and (2) though housing prices sure do beat, say, most of California’s, the salaries in Utah were also well below national averages for her field. So yeah, she’d pay less for a house, but she’d have been making much less as well.

    What can I say? I guess do your research and see what you think. But I ain’t gonna tell you to PRAY about it. :)