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They Just Delivered Several New Sears-Bought Home Appliances and Installed Our Cable Modem and All I Have to Say Is:

2003/05/01

Anyone who pronounces “warshing machine” without the special extra “r” obviously HAS NO SOUL.

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  • http://www.deadjournal.com/~wiccanwillow Sara

    It’s really too bad I sound like this in the middle of Annapolis, MD. Everyone laughs at me. I also sometimes go into accents, such as Southern or British. Hey, I grew up with random people in random places. I think I’m cool. Leave me to my disillusion.

    PS: I think ‘wuddah’ as ‘water’ is possibly the best.

  • http://www.odessastreet.net lee

    Just don’t call milk “melk” because that automatically makes it sound all warm and curdled.

    Here’s a dialect survey for the curious. This is the results page (it’s got maps and stuff): http://hcs.harvard.edu/~golder/dialect/maps.php – but the adventurous can take the test too.

  • http://www.undermine.net/tracy/ tracy

    Can I just say that here in eastern Michigan we have washing machines. Although some of us seem to have developed faint ‘Canadian’ accents…

  • http://www.eleventwentyseven.com christine

    I’m sorry but the only reason the other pronunciation of nuclear has become accepted is because people are too damn lazy to say it right. I think there was one other prez besides W who said it wrong. It sounds stupid. I don’t care what the dictionary says.

    And since when is it uncool to say “the 5″? I have lived in SoCal my whole life and have heard lots and lots of “cool” people say it. But maybe it’s an OC thing. LA people are just so much hipper than us.

    I’m sorry…I’m just feeling so cranky today.

  • http://www.tangerinestarbuggy.net s00ka

    i saw the tertiary pronunciation of “nu-cyoo-lar” in the dictionary too. That just isn’t right. GW should cut that shit out cause it’s not going to get less grating on the ears the more he says it.

    congrats on the purty new warsher btw, dooce.

  • http://www.point-break.com France

    I have three problems w/ crude uses of language – 1) I’m hearing impaired, 2) I work with many middle-eastern folks, 3) I’m not from midwest (so. cal.) So not a day goes by where I don’t develop a facial tic in response the constant butchery of simple pronunciations… worst offender here: for fark’s sake, it’s “cum-pyoo-ter” not “com-poo-ter.” Lazy, moronic, or ignorant – take your pick.

  • DryerFresh

    I didn’t used to say warshing, but thanks to my new best friend from Virginia, now it’s warshing and “bahg-le” instead of “bay-gle” and “y’all” instead of “you guys”. I like the “r” in warshing. It’s nice.

  • http://footinmouthdisease.blogspot.com/ Naaman

    Maybe I don’t have soul, but I have grizammuh damn it!

    Now hold on while I go warsh my motha fuckin mouth out with soap.

  • Nunya Bidnis

    MADNESS PREVAILS…..what?… you expected otherwise?
    humans are the only species that surround themselves with devices and contraptions that will eventually lead to their own demise. by definition, insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result every time. sounds like history ……hmmmm.

  • http://www.etches-johnson.com/me/pages.html Amanda

    I thought that special extra “r” was peculiar to Eastern Canada. Maybe your Sears delivery guys are canucks.

  • http://www.windwardskies.com lisa

    We used to make fun of my dad for saying “warsh”, “ruff” (roof), and “fow-er” (4). It used to bug me, but now it’s kind of endearing.

    Highways in CA: If you’re in SoCal, there’s a “the” in front, as in “take the 5 to the 210 to the 10″. If you’re in the Bay Area, there’s no “the”, as in “take 5 to 580″. I think the “the”/ no “the” switches somewhere around Bakersfield.

    In Hawaii we just call our 3 freeways H-1 (aitch-won), H-2 (aitch-too), and H-3 (aitch-tree).

  • lordgoon

    Hrrm. Yes. Quite. A very cogent observation, no doubt.

    Still waiting on that big review of _War and Peace_, though…

  • http://www.hammerland.net Xanthan

    If you say “warsh” than you must pronounce that island country in the Caribbean “Cyuber” and, like our ivy league educated president, that source of energy as “nucular” (eww… that one really grates on me).
    .
    OK…. while I’m venting, that city in Mexico, just south of the border from San Diego, is not “Tee-A-Hwana”. That would be spelled Tiajuana and would mean Aunt Jane. Tijuana is pronouced . TEE-hwana folks.
    .
    Venting now complete. Dooce, congrats on the new home, appliances, and that greatest necessity of all: broadband connectivity.

  • http://therasjewels.com kate

    my boss says “cOWr” instead of “car”. he’s from detroit and chicago. where the hell is the “cOWr” pronunciation from?

  • http://www.godtar.com Charles R. Kaiser

    Since everyone seems to be venting thier pronuciation peeves:

    It’s Loo-A-Vul

    NOT Louie-Ville

    NOT Loo-A-Ville

    NOT Louis-Ville

    Loo-A-Vul

    Col. Charles R. Kaiser

  • http://www.tangerinestarbuggy.net s00ka

    I grew up in VA and I’ve never heard anyone say “bah-gle” as opposed to “bay-gle” – I suspect your friend is retarded (hehe) I will say “ya’ll” every once in a blue moon. It makes me want to punch myself.

  • http://www.upsaid.com/krobb karen

    my iowa-born daddy says warsh. and “arn” instead of on. is there really any other way?!

  • http://zandria.blogspot.com Zandria

    When I was little, we’d go visit my grandma in North Carolina several times a year. I must admit that I would tease her back then about the way she pronounced certain things: “waRsh” instead of “wash”; “piller” instead of “pillow”; “may-ter” instead of “tomato”; and phrases like “over yonder.” My mom was born in NC but traveled around a lot with her family when she was growing up so thankfully she didn’t pick up or pass on the southern accent to her kids.

  • another one

    The Inmate: We dont ‘wesh’ in Australia, we ‘wosh.’ While im at it, we are ‘ozzies’ not ‘ossies’

  • Grace

    Warshing with the warter off of farty-far in Missourah. There are quite a few mispronunciations that grate on my nerves, but I’m afraid none will ever compare to Oh-Free — which is how my Grandma pronounces Oprah.

  • hmmm

    americans, tsk.

  • J

    hmmm:
    i agree!

  • http://larue.blogspot.com Summer

    It’s “malk” not “milk”, wash, ya’ll, fountain and either soda or coke. I’m from Arizona and other than my personal “malk” and “ya’ll” issues the population as a whole is fairly free from speech “impebblements”.

    Oh, it’s pronounced “Too-sawn” not “Tuck-sun” or “Tooc-sawn”.

  • http://fudgeit.blogspot.com bushra

    i can’t! it’ll always be ‘woshing’ machine…but i do say maRstercard?

  • http://www.godtar.com Charles R. Kaiser

    One other thing. . .

    Everyone seems to think that “Y’all” is plural. It’s not. The plural form of “Y’all” is “All y’all.”

  • http://www.point-break.com France

    Someone mentioned “Missourah” and I developed my facial tic again. That’s high on my list of “accent-peeves.” I live in KC, famous for a bipolar mentality since it’s the only city split b/t two states. My theory on the “Missourah” pronunciation is ‘cuz “Missour-ee” is one mispronunciation from from “Misery.”

  • b

    “missourah”

    can’t tell you how much i hate that. i heard one theory that it was more correct because of some native american word, but i’m sure that’s revisionist bullshit.

    personally, i think it’s a sign of intelligence. “missour-ee” implies you done had yourself some book-learning.

    one of the senators or governors (maybe bond or ashcroft? i forget) once said that he preferred missour-ah.
    what a dumbass!

  • http://scatterbrained.org gwen

    on the contrary, mr. kaiser. “y’all” is plural. “all y’all” is simply MORE plural.

    if i’m in a roomful of people, standing with my two best friends, and i say, “y’all ought to come back to my place for a beer,” i’m inviting two people. if i say, “all y’all ought to come back to my place for a beer,” i’m inviting everyone in the room.

    y’all are makin’ me miss virginia. (i’m stuck in pgh, where “yinz” is the second person plural of choice. blecchh.)

  • http://www.godtar.com Charles R. Kaiser

    gwen,

    I see your point.

    I miss Virginia too. I spent 3 wonderful years in Blacksburg. I keep trying to convice my wife to move there, but she wants me to have trivial little things like a paying job lined up. . .

  • http://1129media.com/webgrrlie/ webgrrlie

    mu husband used to work at a place where they called it “the a, t and m” (atm). i loved, that one ;)

  • IOWA

    WAS WELL INTO MY 20′S BEFORE SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT FIVE CENTS WASN’T A NECKAL.

  • me again

    oh, and “illinoiz.” best way to inspire my “oops i can’t believe i just punched you in the teeth” tic.

  • nep

    warshing machine? you done flagged yerself a hillbilly, boy!

    *blaaahhhhh*

  • Liz

    Ugh, horrible memories… of living near Pittsburgh re-surfacing.. remember.. first time at laundry mat… trying to figure out what a wursher was… where did they keep the damned washers… why did they kept asking me if I wanted a Pop when all I wanted was a Diet Coke..

  • nep

    on second thought…

    relatives in st. louis tend to change the “ore” — in words like george, quarter, and shorts — to “are”. hence, we have garge, quarrrter, and sharts. funny as hell.

  • http://waffle.wootest.net/ Jesper

    Heathens!

  • Chrys

    I just realized that all my life I have been pronouncing the days of the week Mondee, Tuesdee, Wednsdee, etc. and in my mind it sounded exactly the same as when others pronounced it MonDAY, TuesDAY, etc.. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. add to this my last name is Bundy (no joke) I think I may need therapy (I, too, am from Central Illinois, baybee)

  • http://www.theagathaexperience.com Agatha

    I’m drinking “soder.” Like whoa.

  • http://www.thetrailerpark.org Slackjaw

    Well up here north in Warshington state, there is no “the” before 5. It’s also never just “take 5 to highway 16…”

    Were we say “I-5″. I’m pretty sure the change happens somewhere down around Portlend, Oragon. (not Port-LAnd, Oreegon)

  • http://convivial.blogspot.com Heather #2

    Slackjaw, ssshhhh. You’re gonna give us Portlanders a bad name.

  • K

    Just had to enter the interstates of California discussion. After spending more time that I care to remember of my 20′s on the 101, the 118, the 405 and the 5, I am of the opinion that California freeways are their own entities and therefore are deserving of “The”. Now spending time on the The 50 and The 80, it’s a California thing.

  • K

    Forgot to pipe in on the 2 formative high school years I was subjected to Salt Lake City. Is it still 7-11 still “the sev” and is Creek still “Crick”. I never could bring myself to say I was “sloughing” when I chose not to attend classes at the fine high school known as Brighton.

  • rosebaby

    when i first got my washing machine i washed everything i could find. i love when the laundry is done (not so much the actual doing).

    congrats. :)

  • Caelly

    I didn’t actually realize there was another way of saying “sloughing” until I was 17 or so. You mean kids in other states “ditch” or something? Oh My Heck!!

    Heh heh.

  • Emily

    I not only add Rs to the word wash, I ordd thorm to orvry word I corn porsibly think orv!

  • http://www.diaryuh.com Brodie

    Evidently my 85 year old grandmother has no soul.
    wonderful.

  • b

    to help cure me of my st louis accent, i was told to practice:

    “i was washing forty-four quarter barrels of corn in the corner of the barn with lorne greene”.

  • http://larue.blogspot.com Summer

    I think my ears might actually be bleeding.

  • http://texastbone.blogspot.com Texas T-Bone

    My granny says “warsh” for wash. She has a lot of soul, but not just because of that.

    Congrats on your new, well-appointed digs.

  • Kristin

    I think the Pittsburgh area wins the award for stupidest accents/pronunciations. Not only do we say “warsh,” we say “heel” instead of “hill,” “dahntahn” and “ahrn” instead of “downtown” and “iron,” and my all-time favorite, “yinz.” Check out http://www.pittsburghese.com…it‘s scary.

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