• http://aimmemotion.blogspot.com Melly

    But I want to know why she lied about going to the bathroom. What had she really been doing?

  • Amber

    Are all these non-edamame eaters living under a rock? Who hasn’t heard about the sushi apetizer? Seriously disapointing. Also Ana up in the 50′s….it’s preachers like you who make us “sinners” not give a crap about using “His” name in “vain.” But guess what? If you don’t believe in it (yes, there are people) then it’s not using anyones name in vain. Preach elsewhere.

  • http://mostsincerely.blogspot.com maggie ann.

    what is truth really? just a perceived reality… it is a talent to convince others of a different reality ;)

    this post was nice and clever. i chuckled the whole way through.

    happy sunny days.

  • Donna

    I want to here more about the ill-fitting thong!

  • Carrie

    Love edamame. The first time I introduced it to a friend at a Japanese restaurant, she popped the whole thing (pod and all) in her mouth. The guy sitting next to us couldn’t stop laughing. She was all “What?”

  • http://www.erinboberin,com Erin

    My husband and I were watching the news last night when your little blurb came on. I decided it was the perfect time to confess I was a reader. It felt really good to get it all out in the open.

  • Clairy

    My favorite thing about children is when they lie for no reason. It seemed kind of out of nowhere but maybe why Leta chose to fib about going to the bathroom isn’t immediately apparent to me…??

  • Katie Kat

    I ADORE edamame, but it gives me gas like a MoFo. Not that you needed to know that. Carry on.

  • Olivia

    This will come in handy when it’s time for her to start faking orgasms. ;)

  • Adrianne

    edamame doesn’t need to be eaten outside of the pods. The way I grew up eating it is you cook it with tons of salt so that the outside is salty. Then you pop the WHOLE pods in your mouth and suck the beans out. That way you get the outer salt flavor and the beans stay juicy. This is also how I’ve seen it served in restaurants.

  • dwiddin

    I was busy eating Marshmallows and had to look up what the heck edamame is. Shame on you for feeding your child such crap as that! Tell Leta not to blink and to flush the toliet when she says she went. For good measure she will need to wash her hands also so they smell like soap, that is what my son does anyway. Clothes are so over rated.

  • Janie

    Too funny…I can’t believe people have nothing better to think about, much less write about, then how much edamame you buy! I saw it, figured it was on sale. Man, those people would freak if they saw my last receipt…12 family size packs of Perdue boneless chicken breasts LOL. (Hey, it was on sale for $1.89 a pound! For Perdue! That’s really cheap for Perdue chicken in Boston so I bought 40 lbs.)

    Ahhh…Leta. Yup, flushing was a definite flaw in her plan, and then there’s the whole washing your hands, is the towel damp…yup she’s got a lot to learn. Hopefully she learned a valuable lesson and will get better with time. Pretend potty for praise or presents is peanuts compared to “why I am home 3 hours after my curfew, with my blouse on backwards and smelling like bourbon”!

  • Ashley S.

    What the heck is edemame?

  • Jen

    I totally had to Google edamame. Never heard of it in my life until this day. Thanks for teaching me a new thing for today. :)

  • http://www.longhornlucy.com Becca

    You should add some guilt in next time. Nothing makes a lier feel worse than added guilt.

  • http://captainporkchops.com Captain Pork Chops

    Love it!!

  • http://www.thetrailerpark.org slackjaw

    Sweetie gets a little crazy when she eats any kind of soy…It’s like living with a woman who is in a constant state of pre-menstruation…and don’t even suggest there’s anything wrong. That’s cause for getting your head bit off.

  • http://dailycherez.com/ Cherez

    there was a really great (po bronson) piece in ny mag a few weeks back on why kids lie…


  • Anonymous

    “It’s not a lie, if you believe it”.

    G. Castanza

  • http://www.melissabishop.com Melissa’s Cozy Teacup

    I’m amazed that people read the whole receipt. I just looked at what was circled and read the story.
    Also, I have a ten year old nephew, he lies about everything, even stupid stuff that doesn’t matter. It’s almost as if his brain is hot wired not to be able to utter anything but a lie.
    He walks into the room and places toy on the counter in full view of everyone in the room.
    Me-did you place that toy on the counter?

  • http://www.melbournedreaming.blogspot.com/ kelly

    Apparently lying is a sign of intelligence in a kid – ie. a sign of independent thought, testing parental boundaries, alternate realities and all that hoo-ha.

    I go with that when I get busted (which is rare).

  • Janie

    Don’t worry, Tim, I had to Google it too. But I’m sadder than you because I googled it out of curiosity when just reading the receipt, not because Heather talked about it in THIS post LOL.)
    I had heard/read about edamame recently but wasn’t exactly sure what it was. You know it’s one of those new old foods that apparently all the world knows about now (and your momma’s never heard of).
    Love your answer…but you forgot ‘delivery’!

    ((37. Tim said:
    Emily, yes I did have to Google. To me the food groups are:

  • http://emilyscoolstuff.blogspot.com/ Emily

    Tim- you googled Edamame? It’s one of the essential food groups.

  • Torph

    Call me stupid but I don’t even know what edamame is! My husband clips so many coupons that we end up buying stuff we don’t need because “I have a coupon for that” He also has to compare prices for so long that I feel like I’m shopping with a little old lady. It drives me crazy!

  • http://blog.heatherink.com Heather

    There is nothing worse than an unskilled liar. I, however, am able to amaze my friends with my skills.

  • Anonymous

    I was actually going to post a comment similar to that of Vanna’s (comment #275), but she beat me to the punch. Might want to be aware of the effects of soy on estrogen since the increase can be related to changes in mood, etc.

  • laura

    My older sister always needed me to come in and keep her company when she was on the toilet (luckily she has a husband to do this now). I was in the bathroom with her so often that we created a memory game to pass the time. We’d take all the various bathroom items – brush, comb, toothpaste, etc until we had at least ten or so and then arrange them all on the carpet. Then we’d take turns closing our eyes and when we opened them, the other one of us would’ve hidden one of the items and we had to figure out which one. Its one of those fond memories that somehow never finds it’s way into conversations….until now.

  • http://janelle.pulpexplosion.com Janelle

    I, too, am a lover of the edamame. It’s nearly the perfect food. Looks like a vegetable. Acts like a protein. Eats like a game (5 beans in the pod! Jackpot!!!).

  • Tim

    Emily, yes I did have to Google. To me the food groups are:


  • lizinsumner

    I had to google edamame…..my bad, I guess I’m not a very sophisticated consumer/eater. I thought it was some kind of cheese. But since it’s soy, I’m assuming it’s healthy – which usually means it’s not something that I’ll develop an instant affinity for, to say the least. As for Leta’s fibb – just wait until she’s 14 and you tell her to brush her teeth in the morning before school and she goes in the bathroom and you hear the water running and a few minutes later you go in and feel her toothbrush and YUP! it’s still dry and then you are stupid enough to ask the 14 year old “just how stupid do you think I am??” and well, trust me, it just goes down-hill from there…..just giving you both something to look forward to!

  • Katrena

    I’m the worst liar in the world – hopefully the new and rising generation will be better at it. Thanks for another entertaining post.

  • Amber Lyn

    I love how everything that you write, I can seriously relate to. It’s good to teach them young to be good liars. That means when the time comes, they will do good at covering your ass as well. :-)

    You guys are the best. Fuck everyone else that disagrees.

  • LJH

    When I was a kid, my mom would always catch me up in my lies by telling me when I lied, she could see smoke coming out of my eyes. As a 5 year old, this scared the crap out of me.

    It never dawned on me that if that were really the case, I would see the smoke too.

  • Janie

    God, Heather you really do have the quickest, wittiest readers on the internet…they’re a blast.
    Where are all you people hiding!?! I have to get out more.

  • http://www.prettybigwheel.com molly

    Pfft, my parents used to HELP ME lie. In kindergarten, everyone was losing their teeth except me, so I lied to the teacher and said I had lost one, pointing vaguely to my molars. Of course you don’t lose molars that young, but she let it go, and later that day wrote my name on the Monthly Tooth with everyone else. Days later, my mom brought me in early to class before anyone else was there and saw the sign with my name on it. I burst into guilty tears and freaked out because what if Mrs. Z found out?! So before anyone could come in, she erased my name and gave me a look like, “None’s the wiser.”

    Erasing your tracks, people. That’s the key to success.

  • http://girl-named-fred.livejournal.com/ girl_named_fred

    Great post! Best part…an update on Leta’s toilet training! I was wondering how she was progressing and hoped you would share! :)

  • http://librainfrance.blogspot.com/ A Seattleite in Paris

    lol, it’s a necessary ability if she’s going to become involved in politics, run a large corporation or even keep friends!

  • Liz in NoWhere PA

    After my 9 y.o. lied for the second day about brushing her teeth, I was torn about saying, “come on! don’t waste lying on unimportant things!”

  • http://www.uncouthheathen.com Linsey

    Lying is a marketable skill. You should be able to add it to your resume under “other skills and/or hobbies” with a short list of your best performances. If she practices real hard, she could grow up to be President.

  • http://asboringasitmaybe.blogspot.com/ Jakki

    If people cant see the sarcastic wit in this…too funny!

  • http://aimmemotion.blogspot.com Melly

    Isn’t it also refreshing to know that you’re on top of Leta’s lying game so far? If she were “successful” at the age of only four, that could be scary.

  • Nikki

    My son (8) and I live with his father, and I love that when he tells me he didn’t eat something, I immediately ask his father if he did. When, oh when, will he realize that in a house of three people, if I didn’t do it and his father didn’t do it, he did it?
    I’ve tried to get him to throw away the trash when he sneaks my food, instead of throwing it under the bed. Then, I won’t see it, and if I haven’t made a fuss of it when it was gone, won’t be bothered by it 3 months down the line. Sigh. I try and try to teach him the tricks I learned, but will he use the wisdom I try to pass on? No.
    I’m just waiting until he has kids, so I can teach them how to be sneaky little bastards.

  • Jeff

    Screw lying…I prefer telling the truth in the most disturbing way possible. WAY more fun without the pesky moral dilemma.

  • Sezwho

    Heather, I know you just suffered a miscarriage – I did too. I had been using IVF for 5 years though so I had regular blood work for reference. My RE (reproductive endocrinologist) told me that soy increases the level of progesterone your body produces, which is not what you want when you’re trying to get or stay pregnant. So if you’re still trying to have a second baby, you might want to lay off the edamame for a while.

  • Hannah

    You rock. Edamame rocks. That’s all.

  • http://maggie.coffeeshopmafia.com Maggie

    Might as well teach them how to lie young. Don’t want the embarrassment of a bad liar in Kindergarten. Your posts are always so entertaining.

    If anyone ever looked at my grocery receipt they won’t call Child Welfare Services on me.

    Do Work ! !

  • http://pollyvousfrancais.blogspot.com Pollyvousfrancais

    My sanity-saver when my kids were Leta’s age was a fabulous book called “The Mothers’ Almanac.”

    They said (I’m paraphrasing here): All 4-year-olds lie. They have to.

    It apparently has something to do with a developmental stage realizing that language doesn’t equal truth. Learning that words can come out of their mouths that aren’t necessarily describing reality is a heady thing for someone that young. And they enjoy repeating the experience, so enjoy the ride!

    Anyway, rest assured that Leta isn’t on the fast-track to becoming a felon or anything.

  • Valerie

    OMG, I’m having a flashback. The first lie I told was at the age of four about having done a dump when I in fact hadn’t. I remember Mum talking to me very seriously about lying. I don’t really remember why I said it in the first place. But I do remember thinking she was being wayyy too serious about the whole thing. I think I was just experimenting.”The truth” and “lying” were pretty vague back then, when so much of my life was about imagination.

  • http://www.absentmindedhousewife.com/ Becky..Absent Minded Housewife

    I just have a difficult time accepting that they sell edamame in Utah. Utah’s grocery store selections aren’t what I’d usually describe as multicultural.

    I’d buy all the edamame just to keep up that appearance.

  • eric

    Wholefoods 365 brand frozen edamame is excellent and quite inexpensive; steam them and sprinkle the pods with Janes Mixed-up Crazy Salt. Yum