Newsletter: Month Fifty and Fifty-one
Friday, May 2 2008
File Under:
Daily, Leta, Newsletters, Parenthood
link to this entry
1181 comments
Dear Leta,
Tomorrow you turn fifty-one months old. If you are reading these in chronological order you will probably notice that the newsletter for month fifty has gone missing. Yeah, about that. Would you believe me if I told you Coco ate it? You'd have to because Coco eats everything. Just this week she ate both the arms and legs off the new Barbie doll that my mother gave you, and when I found her chewing those limbs I secretly hoped you wouldn't notice. But that's not what happened at all. You noticed immediately and were so enraged that YOU PULLED YOUR OWN HAIR. After several hours of wailing and head-butting the floor you walked up to me, put the legless and armless nub into my hands and said, "Grandmommy is going to be so mad at that dog." And you used a tone that suggested it was less of an observation and more of a warning that Coco might want to draw up a will.
But no, Coco did not eat that specific newsletter. What I could do here is come up with some elaborate excuse for why it wasn't ever written in the first place, but I know you're the type of person who doesn't want to hear all that crap. I got busy. Life sort of turned on its head at the beginning of last month and I just didn't get to it. It was the first time that has ever happened since I first started writing these letters to you at the beginning of 2004, and I apologize. I can't promise that it won't ever happen again, but I have a feeling that if you get arrested in high school for spray-painting a giant four-letter word on the wall of the cafeteria it won't be because month fifty is missing from your newsletters. It will be because your father and I didn't do a good enough job of teaching you how not to get caught. Take my advice now: blame a cheerleader.
This newsletter is going to be a little different and not just in terms of it having to make up for a lost month. A lot has happened in the last few weeks that I feel I should address publicly, and the majority of it is not amusing. Usually I like to spend these paragraphs regaling you with stories of your hysterical antics so that in the future you can read about what a uniquely challenging and funny kid you were, and maybe one day it will explain why your own child screams so much and how it's perfectly normal to daydream about dangling that kid over a pool of hungry sharks. 15 years from now you're going to read this paragraph, here where I tell you that your favorite thing to say is DONKEY BELLIES, and whenever you say knock-knock, and I say who's there, you scream DONKEY BELLIES, and then you gasp for air as the giggles get lodged in your throat, you're going to read this and then call me and go THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT DONKEY BELLIES. And then you're going to ask me for money.
But I guess there are some people who are very uncomfortable with the fact that I and many other women are writing about our children on our websites. How dare we violate your privacy like this, how dare we endanger you like this, we obviously care more about ad revenue than what this is going to do to your adolescence. And I have been asked countless times if I am at all worried that you will totally resent me for the details I have shared here. Of course you will you resent me. I have no doubt that you will spend years of your life resenting me and being embarrassed that we have the same last name, despite the fact that I have and will spend years of my life writing love letters to you on the Internet. Despite the fact that I have declared to millions of people that you are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to my life.
You will resent me for your curfew and the fact that I will not let you leave the house in that mini-skirt. You will resent me for showing up to your school in my pajama bottoms and for raising my hand in a PTA meeting when I hadn't brushed my hair. You will text message your friends to tell them that I am the most horrible person on the planet because I'm forcing you to study for your exam in the morning. You are going to think that I cannot possibly understand what you are going through, and you will slam the door in my face.
Will you resent me for this website? Absolutely. And I have spent hours and days and months of my life considering this, weighing your resentment against the good that can come from being open and honest about what it's like to be your mother, the good for you, the good for me, and the good for other women who read what I write here and walk away feeling less alone. And I have every reason to believe that one day you will look at the thousands of pages I have written about my love for you, the thousands of pages other women have written about their own children, and you're going to be so proud that we were brave enough to do this. We are an army of educated mothers who have finally stood up and said pay attention, this is important work, this is hard, frustrating work and we're not going to sit around on our hands waiting for permission to do so. We have declared that our voices matter.
These are the stories of our lives as women and they often include you, yes. Am I endangering you by posting pictures of you? Many people think so, but then they'd have to admit that when I take you to the grocery store I am exposing your face to hundreds of strangers, people who can see what car we drove up in, the license plate number, and the direction we head home. Maybe we shouldn't ever leave the house, otherwise? STRANGERS WILL KNOW WHAT WE LOOK LIKE. Worse? They will know I prefer Tampax to the generic brand.
Am I violating your privacy? If keeping 95 percent of what goes on in your life off limits in terms of what I write on my website, then yes, I am totally invading your privacy. And what about that time I wrote about your poop, aren't you going to be mortified when your classmates read about that in sixth grade? Leta, I stopped writing about your poop many, many months ago, and chances are that all the kids you're going to know in sixth grade will have spent the first three years of their lives shitting their pants, too. Oh wait, THAT'S WHAT HUMANS DO. WHO KNEW.
Finally, I've seen it suggested in my inbox and by various critics online that what we do on our websites is egotistical and exploitative. Some even refer to it as child abuse. I know I am not alone when I say that when I sit down to update my website I do it to connect with other people, I do it to reflect on the absurdity of everyday life with the hope that the people who read it will find similarities in their own routine. I did not know that wanting to be a part of a community qualified as egotism.
Some of our websites make us money, yes, money that puts food on our table, pays for preschool and helps pay for utilities. Sometimes we even use this money to pay for more unnecessary things like computers or manicures or purple ceramic hippos, and this in particular is something people grab hold of to try and twist what we're doing into something gross and ugly. And try as they might, I will not be discouraged from continuing to document the beauty of life with my family or supporting them with an income from doing so. Leta, some people will one day try to convince you that what I've done here is some sort of sickening betrayal of your childhood, and what those people fail to recognize is that I am doing the exact opposite. This is the glorification of your childhood, and even more than that this is a community of women coming together to make each other feel less alone. You are a part of this movement, you and all of the other kids whose mothers are sitting at home right now writing tirelessly about their experiences as mothers, the love and frustration and madness of it all. And I think one day you will look at all of this and pump your fist in the air.
Love,
Mama
1. Mary O said:
I love this. So true!
2. Jill Mormon said:
God, what a stunningly beautiful child.
3. Aimee said:
the pictures didn't show up till I clicked on comments. weird. I can't believe how grown up Leta looks in these photos! Wasn't it just yesterday that you were posting an eviction notice on your belly?
4. Al said:
Beautiful.
Thank you.
5. Tuesday said:
So very true. People, especially other mothers, seem to be just looking for a reason to tear each other down, to judge quickly and without merit.
Blogging about motehrhood and how tiring and hard it is but equally rewarding, has made me feel like I am not alone, especially when most days that is how I feel.
Our kids will have lots of reasons to hate us one day, and if blogging is one of them, I will consider them lucky.
6. Kerri said:
I think some day she will read this, and it will be glaringly obvious how much you truly love her, because it's obvious to those of us with brains and IQs. And as for child endangerment, well, at least you're not pushing her to be on some reality show with Danny Bonaduce.
P.S., the book rocks. I'm already half way through it, and may be passing it on to my husband soon.
7. Casey said:
*Pumps fist in air!*
8. Jane-Marie said:
What a wonderful letter and beautiful photos of Leta. Thanks for sharing your lives with us.
9. Civilio said:
Damn. How is it that you can make me laugh and cry at the same time??
Well said, and thank you for saying it.
10. Robin G. said:
Just don't tell any of her middle school friends about this website, and you should mostly be in the clear, I think. Which is not what she'll say at the time.
11. Alyson said:
Delurking to say that Leta is lucky to have you.
Thank you to you and other blogging parents for holding a public conversation that is helping our society throw off some authoritarian chains and creating community in an increasingly segmented world.
12. Alexa said:
Wow, you're my hero. Seriously.
13. tara whitney said:
you just said everything that has wanted to bubble out of me in a hot sticky rage every time i hear that crap about "mommy bloggers" exploiting their kids.
PUMPS FIST IN AIR!
14. Amber said:
I think that future generations of people will be more open to things like this. I mean, I wish MY mom had done something like this. Sure, I would have hated it as a teenager, but I hated everything as a teenager! You are doing something truly great, Heather--and for people who are going to be moms sooner or later and don't know what to expect (like me!) you and other blogging moms have been an invaluable resource.
15. Jill Mormon said:
OK, the rest of my comment was eaten by the cyberspace boogies, I guess.
I agree, and wish I were as brave as you. My paranoia forces me to keep myself anonymous and take great pains not to post pictures of my child (or myself, or DH, etc.) on my website. This is very difficult when you know without a doubt you've given birth to someone so gorgeous, so amazing, so simply full of life and love and joy... and everyone else has to miss out on that because Momma worries what strangers on the internet will do with those pictures.
Kudos to you for following your heart and doing what is best for your family.
16. Andrea said:
Pumping both fists in air after wiping tears. I almost yelled when I saw there were no comments, then I opened them and there were 9, oh well, still pretty damn close to first. You are so veryveryvery right about the subject of this entry. Better than well done, all of it, the words/thoughts and photos of your daughter. Just another reason yours is my favorite blog.
17. Kerry said:
I have a friend who has a four year old, and she will sometimes give this four year old candy while she's waiting in line at the grocery store. One time a woman in line behind her said that she was going to ruin her child by giving him candy, and OH MY GOD what a terrible mother she was. My friend responded by saying, "Well, it's a good thing I'M his mother, then." I think that' a great attitude, and I'm glad you share it as well.
18. Meredith M said:
I've been a loyal reader for the last couple of years. I've been envious of your ability to express so precisely the exact same (well, close enough anyway) crazy, wonderful, trying, inspiring things I'm experiencing.
I just wish I had the same love letters written to my girls. I may copy and paste yours and change the names :)
Thank you for being real and honest. Please don't stop!
19. KellyS said:
I keep my own (rarely updated) blog a secret from my mom-friends. A couple of them have mentioned blogging, and seem to truly feel that what us moms do on a daily basis is just not interesting or relevant enough that it should take up space on the 'net, or anywhere in the world, for that matter. That it's a stupid endeavor, and the time could be better spent elsewhere. (Mopping, perhaps.)
Thank you for proving them so wrong, all these 51 months later.
Rock on. (Leta is gorgeous!)
20. Sean said:
When she's fifteen she'll be like every other teenage girl and publicly hate on the parents.
But when she's alone, she'll know very well that she's the one with the cool parents.
21. MSH said:
Yes.
Thank you.
22. plue said:
My dad always said that there was no point in having children unless you could embarrass them in public. So I guess you could say my childhood was particularly meaningful.
23. Sarah said:
That brought a tear to my eye.
My mother is dying, and I can't tell you how much it means to me to read the letters she wrote me as a child.
Leta will cherish these words her whole life.
24. Brook said:
*fist pump in air*
25. Anne said:
Dear Heather,
Your love for Leta shines through EVERYTHING you say, and I have just finished reading through your archive and I am so moved and thrilled by your journey. THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing Leta and your life with us. She IS an incredibly beautiful child, with the hugest eyes! Her eyes naturally are as beautiful and dark and large as what makeup TRIES to give grown women, but it's never as beautiful as that.
I used to post on misc.kids, way back when my 20-year-old daughter was a toddler and preschooler, and that was a beautiful community back then -- about 1992, 1993, 1994. We even had a photo album for misc.kids, and was that ever an incredible thing. That community of parents got ME through. It has a lot in common with the parenting blogosphere now. And I'm sure that some of the things I posted about my kid are still around (oddly, a post I made to misc.kids about DOG BISCUITS, of all things, a recipe to answer someone's question, that had been in my daily newspaper, is one of the big things that Google knows about me....) but she has never mentioned it. (and she is VERY VERY MUCH online, you better believe, she works for Apple Computer now)....
Heather, you're doing a wonderful, beautiful thing. Thank you so much.
26. Karen said:
I do not have children (I'm not ready yet. My husband is patiently waiting though) and so I do not yet know the craziness, sillyness, joy and heartache that you and other mothers must go through. Reading your site gives me a tiny glimpse of what I will get to experience (when I catch up with my husband that is.)
I applaud you for being so open and candid and for letting us in to taste a little slice of pie that is your life.
Thanks. And to those who don't like it? I'll pool you with G.W. Bush--"People I'd Like to Kick in the Sac"
27. the mighty jimbo said:
this makes me wish i had a uterus.
28. Chelsea said:
A long awaited response to all those nay-sayers. Thanks!
29. Adiel said:
I loved the "blame a cheerleader" part.
30. Jessica said:
What a beautiful girls she's becoming. Growing so fast.
As for people berating us for *gasp* writing about our children I say forget them. At least we aren't selling them for crack.
Plus, I love the sense of not being alone I get from other mommies and that others take it from my blog.
31. Norah said:
Has it been fifty-one months already? How time flies.
It's so good that the haters haven't dissuaded you. What you're doing is important. It's part of a movement that will change the way we raise our kids, and it's a beautiful thing.
Thank you.
32. Karen said:
To prevent confusion...
I won't kick Dooce in the sac. Just the people that don't like her.
33. Katybeth said:
What a beautiful little girl. She looks young, loved, and understood and now you must go buy her a new Barbie. Rotten little dog! LOL.
34. ~kelly said:
I appreciate and look forward to your rumblings and rantings.. and for the past month I was going mad thinking, did I miss the monthly newsletter or what.... please don't make us wait again!~
35. kjc said:
It is unfortunate that jealousy rears its ugly head over such stupid piddly things like mommy-blogging. Because when they try to tear you down, they are wishing they were you.
Honestly what parent wouldn't want to be able to stay support themselves and stay at home to be a parent. Isn't that what the lottery is all about... the dream... of freedom, sleeping in, wearing your pjs to drop the kids off.
Heather you are truly a wonderous woman. After Leta is done hating you, she will love you and thank you for being you.
36. molly said:
That is a beautiful girl, and she has a beautiful mom. And both may drive each other up the wall at various points in their life, but they will always know at the end of the day that they're the best thing that could have ever happened to each other.
37. Anonymous said:
I have read this website silently for years. I don't normally feel compelled to comment because so many other people say it first and say it better. I need to make an exception now to say: good for you, Heather. Kick the stupid people in the teeth!!!
38. bevskid1 said:
Heather,
I am a fan and think of you guys on my travels to SLC for business. Wish I was in town the week that you are autographing the essay collection...oh yeah, get back on topic.
Your writing does two things for me: first, it helps me truly empathize and understand my friends who are married and/or moms; and second, it gives me hope that while I have no desire to blog, that I will get back to writing since I happily chose to be an English major because of my love for reading.
It never ceases to amuse and amaze me the volume of hate mail that you get from people who seek you out. Consider me (se)Dooced!
39. Marianna Wilde said:
Heather, I want to hug you and high five you and get drunk with you all at once.
40. Jodie said:
Dooce, YOU ROCK! This a wonderful statement of the reason you write your blog. I'm not a mother, just a long distance step mom, a cat mom and a dog mom. But I totally connect to you via your website. And I think I would have been less embarassed by my mother writing about me and showing the world than I was by her yelling at me in front of my friends or selling Girl Scout cookies with my baby sister in front of my COLLEGE dorm. Keep on blogging! You're right, the critics are wrong!
41. Anonymous said:
Beautiful.
Also, call me stupid (you won't be the first, I'm sure), but what exactly do your critics think the difference is between bloggers and other writers who write about their families? Between bloggers and songwriters? Between bloggers and other published photographers whose subjects are their children? In my estimation, the answer is nothing. Leta may likely hold you responsible for all the bad things that ever happen to her, but she can never claim to be unloved or unappreciated. Every child should have such a record of her mother's love.
Thank you for sharing that love with us.
42. elisabeth said:
I applaud you and hope you, Leta and Jon know exactly how many people stand behind you. It's an amazing thing that thousands of people who don't even know you in person, genuinely love you. We love you and we love Leta. Keep up the great work and give that beautiful little girl a big hug from all of us.
43. Anonymous said:
I say 'brava!' to you and 'kiss-off' to those misguided few with the gall to label it child abuse. You are not allowing Leta's early years to pass you by in a blur of laundry and list-making, but making a conscious and creative effort to record and, as you said, celebrate this time. It's marvelous. She need never doubt your devotion and love because you must have alot of both to put yourself through the fire for her with every post.
44. Suzanne said:
Rock on Heather!
Reading your website makes me realize I CAN survive becoming a mother (due with my first in October)and keep some sense of self and a sense of humor.
Leta gets more beautiful every month.
Keep up the good work!!
45. furpants said:
It never even occurred to me that people would have such mean things to say about your hilarious and lovable family blog. I read your blog all the time and it has made a person you will never know (me) LOVE your adorable Leta! So whatever negative people think or say, there are a thousand times more happy, good people who truly care about your family and the community you have created.
The way you share your life has helped me. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Those meanies can suck it.
46. Jennie said:
with happy mommy tears streaming down my face, thank you.
47. Kristan said:
First and foremost: my god she is getting so beautiful.
Second and secondmost: I'm not a mother, but I adore the way you've captured your life into these fun / inspirational / moving / hilarious stories. I think you are doing people a great service, but I don't think it's limited to any particular demographic. Just to people who don't sip the hatorade.
So keep on keeping on. (Otherwise I might die from the loss!)
48. Hollie said:
I think this is my favourite of all your newsletters. You are an amazing person, Heather. Sharing your struggles has made it easier for me to go through my own and ask for help when I need it. I don't even know you, and I think I love you and your family.
49. danni said:
Wonderful post Heather. Keep your head up high. Wish you were my mom.
50. anne said:
Wonderfully written. I wish those critics weren't such blazing morons. What you do is not only touching hearts of people all around the world, but I would be so honored if my mother kept such a beautiful journal of my own childhood.
Every time I think Leta could not get any more beautiful, you post photos like these. What a stunning little girl.
51. notquiteawake said:
I'm 32 years old and when I was a baby my mother, who is also a great writer, wrote letters to me and saved them in my baby book. I love reading these and I have since I was old enough to understand what they were. I only wish there was more of them. I think that if blogging had been around when my mom had me, she would have done the same as you are doing with Leta. And I would be very proud of her for doing so. Your letters will be around even when you're not and that's probably the best gift you can give her.
52. Coley G said:
Rock on! I think what you are doing is awesome. Hell I'd do it if I could, of course I have no kids or husband yet, but the dogs are funny :) Anyways I've been reading your blog for a while now and I never once got a "weird" feeling about anything you wrote. Hilariously funny, oh my gosh I can't believe that happened, or maybe, amazed, but never felt like you were doing anything wrong. And everyone who thinks it is wrong should just stop reading it and come to the realization that they in fact are only writing about you so someone will read their website.
53. Jon Zahlaway said:
Thanks for writing this. I, for some time, have been struggling with the issues you addressed here (and I, too, came to the same "people in the grocery store see you" epiphany ... though I said "Ice-cream shop" when I had that moment of imagining strangers following us home and duck-taping us to the kitchen chairs before absconding with my children).
54. Christian said:
An awesome letter. Thanks for being here for us, the other mamas who get to smile and laugh in understanding at what you go through - you are right in that it makes us feel not so alone.
55. Kathleen said:
Hi,
Been a long time reader and I love your newsletters. Leta is looking so beautiful in these photos. Her eyes are really very expressive. This is the best newsletter so far. I hope she's so proud of her newsletters when she's older, its a lovely tribute. Thanks.
56. ohchicken said:
amen.
i salute you, and look forward to joining your ranks in a few weeks...
and leta? gorgeous little girl. no baby left in there anywhere, is there?
57. HeatherK said:
She is stunning. For me, I adore these monthly newsletters. With each one, I see more and more how beautiful it is that you love her just as she is and embrace her quirks and funny ways without judgment. We could all do well by your example.
58. Judy Haley said:
Bless You!
59. Spicy Sister said:
You are one of my heroes.
You are the reason I began blogging.
You are so right on with this post.
I can't decide if I want to stand up and cheer at this post or make out with you.
I'll cheer.
60. Stellare said:
Gorgeous love story.
Don't even think about listening to the envious critics.
And I think you and Jon should start thinking about what kind of weapon to use when chasing the young men away from your daughter....they will show up at the house, that is evident. It is only a matter of time!
61. AM said:
And when she is a teenager, Leta will write embarrassing things about you online, and you will write embarrassing things about her back. And it will all be highly amusing.
Viva teh internets!
62. Nicole said:
Fabulous post!
I worry too. I am cautious to not share enough to identify where we live or when we are traveling or when we plan to leave the house for anything in case someone decides to check my blog at that very minute and know to rob our house while we are at the grocery store.
The reality, though, is that if it wasn't for blogging my children wouldn't have these stories. I have never been a paper and pen kind of girl.
I wish my mum had blogged. It would be a great document to learn from as I try to navigate motherhood.
63. Heather said:
I love this letter. I've never commented on a blog before and I don't even have kids. But I love this and I think you're an awesome mom!
64. Laura said:
Dooce,
I'm the mom of a slightly OCD, really intense 4-year old boy. Just replace all mention of "disney princess" with "dinosaurs" and "donkey bellies" with "my butt is stinky!" and you have something approaching my world. Your blog reminds me to stop and pay attention to the crazy details of life and mothering
Personally, you had me at "shit-ass-ho-muthafucka" and I thank you for your blog. It is one of the things in my life that keeps me sane.
Internet, go out and get yourself a life, and leave this blog be.
65. Stacy said:
Exactly.
Thank you for saying it so well and saying it often.
Leta is a lucky, well-loved little girl. But I bet she knows this.
66. Dewi said:
Heather
You rock.
I did not know what else to say.
You really do rock, all children should want their mother to be like you.
Leta is lucky to have you as mother. Your emotional openness will serve the two of you very well when she is an adolescent.
It would be fun to support your work, and buy a book when you are in NYC.
;-)
Ma2one
Dewi
67. Florencia said:
Heather,
I have been feeling so bad about all the mommy-haters out there. I am new to blogging, started back in November, and after finding your website and reading the archives from the beginning, I felt almost scared to post anything at all online because of all the hate mail you get. People are straight up vicious. I simply don't understand why. Yesterday a co-worker sent me a link to the website that wrote a mock newsletter to Leta and I was horrified! I thought it must be a man to be so misogynistic but the author says she's a woman. Even worse!
Your blog led me to Leah Peterson's blog and to her book, which I devoured like Cookie Monster eats the letter of the day. I am now reading Things I Learned About My Father and it is wonderful.
I just want to say, after trying to write about my own feelings online and being afraid to do it, I am even more of a fan of your blog, it just isn't easy to put yourself out there.
Finally, I'd like to say that Leta looks so beautiful in that last picture, she's just adorable!
68. Stephanie said:
Amen!
69. Rebecca said:
Yes, yes, yes!
Leta looks like a model in these pictures. Wow.
70. Zenmomma said:
Beautifully said Heather!
My kids were MUCH older when I started my blog, but I've been writing about them and FOR them for years. I've written about struggles and triumphs, good times and bad. They have been semi-public figures within our international unschooling community.
Guess what all you naysayers?
They are teens now and they don't hate me. In fact, they actually LIKE me. We like to be together. Motherhood has been confusing at times, but it is absolutely better when experienced within a community.Oh the stories I could tell! Wait, I already did.
Rock on!
71. Susan said:
You ROCK! I love reading these newsletters and it makes me look forward to the time when I become a mom.
72. Jonathon Morgan said:
I wince every time our dog Yoshi mangles one of Edan's toys. As soon as it's discovered, we start the slow process of prepping her for the potential that her toy *might* be chewed, so that by the time Yoshi's destruction has been revealed, we can avoid The War that will eventually take place between the two of them.
73. Talon said:
From another mom who blogs about her brat and shares pictures (albit on LJ not on my own personal website with ad revenue...wow...I had no idea ad revenue was a wet dream of mine...go figure...)
Anyway...I say...FUCK YEAH.
Because I am eloquent like that.
74. Janet said:
I do not blog and do not have any children (yet) but absolutely enjoy reading your blog everyday. It's about connecting to other people and I think whether we share similar situations or not we all long to connect to others in some way. When I have children I will be coming back to reread your posts so that I know I'm not alone.
Leta is just simply beautiful and will cherish all these heartfelt and honest letters you've written over the years. Thank you for including us all on this journey!
75. Shii said:
Well put! You make us all proud.
76. Sarah said:
Heather,
What a beautiful post and what a beautiful little girl. What you are doing is a wonderful, personal thing that we are privileged to read. Please keep it up.
77. The Rule Maker said:
WOW! This is the first letter I have read that you have written to Leta, as I just started reading your blog about three weeks ago and by the way, it rocks! NOW...I am going to need to go back and read all the letters. Amazing. She is a beautiful child and is so lucky to have such a smart, funny and talented Momma!
I ordered your book and plan on giving it to my husband as a Father’s Day gift. Can’t wait to read it!
78. amy turn sharp said:
Vern! (that is a term of endearment I use with women who rock)
I find it so insane to think that you ever get one terrible email or any one person ever doubts you or yr amazing passions. You swell my heart and ruin my luxury mascara often. (insert air fist pump)
79. Brat said:
Heather, you rock. You just keep on keeping on, Girl, because if you can do anything that enables you to be a full-time, stay-at-home mom, that's great.
One of my favorite quotes EVER is this one:
If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much.
~~Jackie Kennedy
And my only child is now 29 years old and you know what?
Jackie was right.
Fuck the world, Dooce. Just do what you do and God love ya.
.
80. Bruce Castleberry said:
It's not just women who read your stuff, Heather. I love what you write; we're all in this together and we all bear a responsibility for our kids and their futures.
And there are always assholes who aren't happy unless they're trying to drag others down to their level of misery. Screw them.
81. Tess said:
Dear Leta:
Your mother totally rocks. When you're about 22 years old, you'll sit up and wonder, "When did she get so smart?" I hope my daughters will remember the times I ran through the sprinker with them, stayed up late making last minute cupcakes and cried with them because some dumb kid called them "freckle face". I didn't have the good sense to document all this and because your mother did, you should be enormously grateful.
Tess
82. Optimist said:
I love this letter. What a difference it would have make to me for my mom to have written such a thing 43 years ago!!
Leta's eyes... Wow.
I just got your book from Amazon in the mail today. Can't wait to delve in.
xoxo
83. Zinzy said:
Hey Heather,
What a nice newsletter this month. This time I actually got to wonder what Leta is going to think about this when she's old enough to read it. And I bet this one will make her cry harder than she did about the Barbie. (By the way, did you know Mattel claims that between february '04 and '06 things were over between Barbie and Ken?)
And, seriously, this is the first newsletter that I notice how much she has grown over the years and how - yes, you may burst out in happy tears - GORGEOUS she is going to be in a few years from now!
Congratulations (:
Zinzy
P.S.: What's wrong with posting pictures of your own child on your website? The people who object to that probably have drug-addicted teenagers lurking all over Xanga with an Emo Blog anyway.
84. Kathy said:
You rock. Screw those critics. I wish the internet existed when I was growing up...and I wish my mom could have done exactly what you're doing now. Leta might have a problem with it when she's a teen...but when she finally reaches adulthood, she'll cherish it.
Write on mama...write on.
85. Ana said:
Brava!
86. BethanyWD said:
Hell-to-the-yah. The critics and hater just want the world to continue to marginalize what we, as mothers (and fathers, for that matter) do.
87. T said:
Aw, this makes me want to call my mom! And although you obviously don't need me to tell you this--ignore the haters. So many people seem to make it their mission in life to find things to complain about.
88. Jill said:
You know what is interesting, is that I have a friend who writes as a mother of a child with a severe disability, and I believe she is cheered by the community for being brave enough to write about her experiences and allow for a venue for mothers like her. Why not cheer a mom who is reaching out to the majority of mothers in the world who deal with the challenges that come with a typically developing child? Don't listen to the critics, they're ignorant. cheers and have a wonderful weekend!
PS I'm in early childhood ed and I think it would rock to have Leta around :)
89. Anonymous said:
Wow, I can't believe people are SO opposed to what you do. Aren't there more controversial causes they could be donating their energy to -- like kitty abortions or something of the like?
What's wrong with getting paid to do something you love? People are doing it everywhere: acting, singing, writing, taking photographs, teaching, etc. etc.
90. Isabel Kallman said:
Brava.
91. Sara said:
I am so proud of you for writing this entry. Take that, haters!
92. Tana said:
Leta is just a gorgeous girl. She gets prettier every month!
93. Leon said:
Now I'm not certain, but I'm willing to bet that someone's inbox was particularly rife with venom and spite this month. Perhaps a good sprinkling of veiled jealousy too? Or was this a reaction to Usher's condemnation of celebrities "pimping" out pictures to tabloids for huge sums of money?
Or was it just the heartfelt truth?
I'm sure it was the later. Don't let the bastards (or Coco......or the snow) get you down.
Power to the Blurbodoocery!
94. Liz C said:
Awesome!
Geez, my Lovely Daughter is right now enjoying her 300th month. (Or is it 301st?) I was going to do annual letters. I think I did one, then promptly lost it. Hey, I was young and Al Gore hadn't invented the WWW yet.
I don't think she reads my blog. Probably a good thing, even though we're long past the poop stage. :)
New reader -- love your stuff!
95. Laura J. said:
The photos of Leta are just beautiful. I can only think of one other child more beautiful, and she's mine. :)
Your letters to Leta often bring me to tears (good ones) because the emotion is so deep and very similar to what I have felt for my own daughter. Thank you for sharing this very personal part of your family with the rest of us.
96. DaxiMama said:
This stupid website keeps making me cry. Dammit, Heather - knock it off.
97. Amber said:
Thank you for dooce.com. Thank you for this newsletter. I have read your website since 2002 and it has always comforted me to know I am not alone with similar frustrations, depression issues, joys and triumphs. You deserve happiness and you deserve income for this site. You are a fantastic mother to Leta, wife to Jon and friend to so many of us who you don't even know.
98. Michelle said:
I had a creative writing professor in college who consistently reminded us to "write what you know". I don't understand why you (and other wonderful writers who also happen to me moms and dads) catch so much crap for what you do. You write well and you write about what you know: the love you have for your beautiful daughter and how heart-achingly awesome, sometimes difficult, and frequently hilarious being a mom can be.
Thank you for doing that. :)
99. Newf said:
I was so happy to see the newsletter today-I had thought that I had missed it last month. I am the mother of a very head strong 6 month old. When I read some of your postings, I feel like someone else might understand how I feel when my child screams for hours. I love your honesty-you are braver than I am. You can tell Leta when she is older that she helped at least 1 mother make it through her baby's first year. Please keep writing such honest postings! Thank you.
100. kristi said:
Thank you for not being discouraged -- it is so very true that it's the glorification of her childhood and that it helps us moms feel not so not normal. There will always always always be people that try to bring us down NO MATTER WHAT we do. There are also people in this world that want to chop their own limbs off (surely you've heard of this!!?), so I think it goes without saying that they are so not wholly representative of the whole -- or even the smidgen. Much like your critics.
Much love to you and yours!
101. julie said:
People have always loved sharing stories and photos of their children. The internet simply provides a new and more efficient way of doing that. I suppose the people who criticize bloggers never pull photos out of their wallet when asked by someone they've just met, whether or not they have kids? It's not so different. This is just the twenty-first century version of that simple connection. You happen to be a gifted writer capable of expressing your feelings on a far deeper and more descriptive (entertaining) level than your critics. Perhaps they're jealous of that gift. Or perhaps they're jealous that they don't have such joy in their own lives.
102. CrabbyAmy said:
Oh so wonderfully said!!! What a fantastic newsletter... I adore your blog and cannot express how many times I have turned to it for some humour when my own world of children/pets/issues seems to be crashing down on me. Keep up the blogging....I look forward to it!
Maybe someday Leta will have her own blog....I suspect that could be a very interesting read! ;)
103. Heather Blair said:
I'm not sure if you get a chance to read every comment every day, so you may not have time to read mine...but I'm going to leave it anyway. This is corny, but I'm proud of you. I loved this post and I think you are an amazing mommy.
104. MontanaJen said:
This made me weepy. Granted, I'm weepy by nature, but still.
I've been reading this site for three years now, and not until just now did I realize that what you do here is exactly that - demanding that this work be recognized and appreciated as important. Just now. Yeah - I'm super quick.
I don't have children, but I relate to your writing - your depression, your anxiety, your miscarriage, your marriage, your fun, your love of a great margarita. Every time I read some troglodyte spew venom along the vein of 'egomaniac mommyblogger' I smile and think 'yeah - and you just sent her another buck or two of ad revenue.
And then I mentally pump my fist in the air.
105. amy j. said:
First off, when did Leta become absolutely, stunningly gorgeously, girly GIRL! Oh yeah, you're her mom. She was once a cutey bug. But now she's plain gorgeous. Four is a good year for girls. I remember when my oldest turned four and I thought she looked like she was about to tell me she was heading out the Gap for some new shorts...you can so seen that teen grown up girl inside at this age. And she will have to be locked away for sure with that beauty.
Secondly, I am one of those moms you talked about in this movement in blogland and I am one hundred and fifty billion percent in agreement with you. I've been blogging for three years, after my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes and I felt like I was about to die from heartbreak and worry. I felt it was a way to vent and connect with people and most importantly document the thing I held more dear than anything in my life.
Screw people who criticize. They either don't have kids, can't write to save their lives or take a photo or are one of the people in the world that just have to find fault in every thing in order to make themselves feel "perfect".
Why people have to be like that is beyond me. Just today some woman, some woman I don't know, who works at her school, decided she would scare my child and worry her needlessly. My daughter is a Type 1 diabetic and keeps a bottle of something to drink with her at all times to help keep her sugar in control. She generally mixes it with a little bit of Crystal Light. This lady told my six year old today that her drink was not healthy for her, to which my sweetie replied, "But my daddy told me it was sugar free." The lady said back, "That may be, but it's full of chemicals that are bad for you."
I am not exaggerating here Heather when I say I thought of you when I reacted to her telling me this...I was furious. How f'in dare that woman. My daughter got into the car and immediately asked me if her drink could hurt her. After hearing the story I nearly turned the car around to go find that woman and smack her upside the head with a six pack of organic dog piss.
My immediate response was that my lovely little girl has a bit more of a health issue to worry about each and every day that is more important than some coloring in her Crystal Light, a drink recommended for diabetics by DOCTORS. I'm sure that lady wants my child to drink juice...wholly organic, purfied through the underwear of virgins and blessed by Tibetian monks. Thing is juice is FULL of sugar, the thing her body can't regulate...the thing we avoid unless she is low and MUST have sugar because one half cup will send her blood sugar so high she will feel like she's sick.
It's the goody goody know-it-all people in the world who I can't stand...the ones who try and try again to make you feel bad about loving your family and wanting to share.
You're a smart woman. You know they're full of shit. You will teach Leta to know they are full of shit. And best of all, you will share the load of shit they try and throw at you for the rest of us to read and back you up.
I value you telling your story. I've related to you more times than I can even recall. Please don't ever feel scared by these people (I know what they must be trying to make you believe...heard it all myself with the pedophile stuff and my photos of my children on line etc). It's like a friend asked me recently, "Do you want to live your life in continual fear or live your life with continual hope that people are better than you expect?" I choose the later and avoid the A-holes that try and make me live otherwise. I fear those people honestly more than any truly dangerous person...they are way more prevalent in our society.
106. Lauren E Dillon said:
I think it's awesome what you do. Your child is obviously brilliant and you and your husband are no small part of that. Keep it up, woman!
Today, I wrote in my blog about potty training (the end of it thankfully) and my husband said, "I wouldn't want to read about someone else's kid." Thanks for making a liar out of him.
107. krismom said:
Thank you so much for what you do and what you write, you are absolutely right that it makes so many of us feel less alone!! Leta is absolutely beautiful and I think one day she will be really proud of all you've done!! more power to ya, mama!
From: a mother who has been hospitalized during a heart-breaking journey through post-partum depression, who now blogs about her life & kids as a path to healing...
Kris
108. Alyce said:
I'm so sorry that you felt you had to say this. Glad you said it. But sorry that people can't just shut their pieholes long enough to allow some oxygen to reach their brains. Your website. Your life. What you do with those two things is none of anyone else's damn business.
109. chrissy said:
amen.
110. Megan said:
Yes. Absolutely. The best post I've ever read.
Fist pump in the air!
111. Andrea said:
Your letters to Leta are some of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Everything that you write expresses your love for your daughter. I do not see exploitation in anything that you write. If people cannot see the beauty in what you write then that is truly their problem, not yours. Of course Leta will resent you at some point in her life. That's what kids do. However, when she is old enough, I can't imagine the love and the pride that she will feel because you're her mom. I have a feeling these letters will be one of the greatest gifts you'll ever give her. I don't see how people can be so hateful because you make a living off of your blog. I am more than happy to come to your site every single day and even click on the ads to make sure you get revenue. I'm more than happy to contribute to your finances because I am so grateful to you for opening up your life to us, your readers. By writing about your struggle with depression, you have helped me probably more than you'll ever know and for that I am eternally indebted to you. Thank you, Heather.
112. Emily said:
Hell YES! (if only you could see me fist pumping right this minute)
Armstrongs ROCK.
113. Pretty Lush said:
I've been reading here since Leta was very little and I've always enjoyed these monthly gems. This one moved me to tears and I know I will not be alone in that subtle tear wiping I'm doing in my cubicle. It helped to justify and encourage every post I've ever written on my own site. It's something I want every critic to see and to think about. It's something I want every blogger/writer to see.
Mostly, it is something that I cannot thank you enough for sharing.
114. Jill S. said:
Best post ever.
115. Andie Grace said:
Sometimes, Heather, I love your words so much that it makes me physically swoony. Like, my cheeks get all flushed and hot and I have to restrain myself from flying to your next book signing and begging you to be my friend. Since that would be utterly bizarre and probably not terribly effective, I won't, but really, thank you for writing this. I needed to hear it, because I get a little of this stuff too for blogging and posting images of my daughter and I needed the language to be able to rebut some of the criticism. Now I have it.
Mark my words: Leta's going to love how much access to her child-self she will have later, and if she rolls her eyes and says that she hates you for embarrassing her for sharing how funny and odd and gorgeously beautiful her character, I guarantee you that secretly, she'll be thrilled that you did.
116. Twenty Four At Heart said:
Your post today was really an eye opener for me. I am relatively new to the blogging world and I have to admit I was stunned at the thought of hate mail. Aren't we all out there trying to do the best we can with the talents we have? As the mom of 3 teenagers I learned long ago that there is no such thing as a perfect kid and that I am far from a perfect mom. But damn if I don't try each day to do the best I can. Now I will be waiting for my first piece of hate mail. And when I get it - I will promptly delete it and then most likely blog about it ....
117. Leaner said:
Totally pumping my fist in the air at this!
118. Keri said:
I have been reading your website since before you began these amazing monthly updates, since before I had my own daughter, during a time when I honestly feared I wouldn't be able to have a child of my own, and it gave me a small glimpse of the joy and frustration and mindcrushingly giddy happiness of parenthood. Now when I read the updates I rarely finish without both tearing up and laughing. My daughter is younger than Leta, but there's always something I can recognise and rue and look forward to. Oh how I wish my mother had kept such a clever and honest and funny record of my life! And, of course my daughter is just going to have to read dooce to get a sense of her own baby and toddlerhood...
Your intelligence and fearlessness will carry you far beyond the ignorance of a few.
119. jessicaAPISS said:
In parenting little humans we are human ourselves. The intimacy of even the happiest of families and the angelest of babies causes stress to which we as parents are not immune.
In the immortal words of the mother and child in Olivia by Ian Falconer,
"You know, you really wear me out, but I love you anyway."
"I love you anyway too."
120. Marley said:
yes. *fist pumping* Thanks Heather. I had been wondering as I refreshed daily, where "the newsletter"?
Thanks.
121. LK said:
Leta is gorgeous.
You are so right: being a mother is undervalued enough in this society, it is so great that you and others are giving voice to motherhood, giving it an identity in this culture that all too often tries to erase what it is like, and doing so publicly, beautifully, and eloquently. And not least by using digital media in truly innovative ways.
122. Nancy said:
Leta is beautiful and my daughter and I absolutely love reading about her. We talk more about Leta and Chuck than we do about our own relatives! You, your blog, and the whole medium of blogging have changed a part of the world and the way that people communicate. I hope that you know that your fans love you way more than the idiot naysayers dislike you. Every one of your accomplishments feels like it's ours in a tiny way because "we knew you when." Thanks.
123. Corey said:
Fuck. Yes.
124. Mrs Butter B said:
Beautiful. Heartbreakingly wonderful.
Don't quit. Please?
125. winecat said:
I swear that child gets more beautiful every. single. day.
Happy monthaversary Leta.
126. Yolanda said:
It needed to be said.
I'm so glad you did.
127. lou said:
Donkey bellies cracked me up.
128. nat said:
I love your honesty.
Thank you Heather
129. Katie said:
You go girl.
130. Pam said:
Woo hoo.
The nay sayers can suck it. Seriously. This does my women's libbing self of the 70's proud.
131. Debbie said:
Heather - all of the things that you address here n this newsletter are things that I have been wondering myself. I worried that it is exploitative at worst and unfair at best to Leta. I love how your argument here, and I am convinced. There is definitely worth in what you are doing on this website. I appreciate what you write every day. I'm not even a mother, but what I read when I come here makes me feel less alone.
Also? Your child is so BEAUTIFUL. How can she be mad at you? You gave her THOSE EYES!!!!!!! Lucky little kid!
132. Kristin said:
Amen, Sister. I, too, write about motherhood and life, in general, paying special attention to highlight the crises, crap and overall mortification that comes from leading such a stable, domestic life of mediocrity. The truth is that mothering is an ass kicker. We rarely get breaks, lunches with friends, to wear clothes without barf and shit stained on them. My non-blogger friends wondered in the beginning of my blog time (about 2 years ago) why I was writing my life, in detail, on a blog page. They thought I needed more to do, perhaps a hobby in ceramics or kite making. I couldn't really explain it other than that it felt really good to me, and really right to be doing it. And I don't get paid, but if I could get paid then I would get paid. I don't see anything wrong with being so talented that you can support your family with a blog. F*** em - all those critics and overly-jealous anals. They simply can't have what you have and it drives them CRAZY. It drives me crazy too, but I have my envy in check.
Anyway, I want my daughter to know when she grows up and thinks having kids is this super romantic 20 year cruise, that it's full of ups and downs, the most terrific fears and blissful love. I want her to know it occasionally brought me to my knees and that sometimes I really wanted a divorce with a margarita on the side. I want her to know the truth instead of smoking that Cinderella/Snow White pipe shit that was fed to me my whole life. So You Go GIRL. Work it. Make it happen. You're an inspiration to so many of us women who show up to the blog, unpaid, again and again, and write the nitty gritty sometimes trivial things of our life down. It's high time there was something good to read out there about women's history; I grew up on Abe Lincoln and Thomas Jefferson and frankly, was bored out of my bleeping mind. Yeah, Dooce!
133. Anonymous said:
I had a similar reaction to my blog from a very close friend who is one no longer. She dared to suggest that my blogging about the trails of pregnancy would suggest to my unborn child that he wasn't wanted or loved.
And terrorists hate us for our freedom. Right.
134. Debbie said:
JUST WANT TO ADD: I worried about mommy blogging in general, but I never judged you, nor was I one of the ones who sent you an angry email about it accusing you of abuse. Yikes, just wanted to clarify.
135. Haley Allison said:
You and Leta are so beautiful! Your monthly newsletters are one of my favorite things about this site. Congratulations and Good Luck with everything happening right now- I can't wait to read your book
136. Sarah said:
You go Sister Armstrong. I'm behind you.
137. claresfolly said:
By far and away the most wonderful newsletter you've written to your lovely daughter. I know this is hard work, this blogging, but your fans are legion and your voice is true.
138. themotherboard said:
*pumping fist in the air*
Brilliant! Just effing brilliant! Thats exactly why I blog.
To all the haters: Step off.
139. Chaos said:
It's so refreshing to see that you are finally able to be relatively unaffected by the large amounts of criticism that you receive. The Internet can make anyone feel like shit - all you have to do is exist and eventually, you will find someone finding fault with whatever it is you do or don't do.
Beautiful post. Well-said and YOU ROCK! Someone needs to do exactly what you and others are doing - make people stand up and notice that motherhood is hard as hell!
140. Ann said:
"This is the glorification of your childhood, and even more than that this is a community of women coming together to make each other feel less alone."
HERE, HERE!!! I am not a Mom, but I am a WOMAN who fully agrees with you. I am also a woman who has suffered from depression in the past - and I APPLAUD you for sharing that struggle and any other struggle that you've had the courage to share.
You know who you are, and so will Leta. Bravo.
141. Kari said:
So strange, this dividing line of the internet.
A famous writer can write about their family and as long as they put the words between book covers, they are considered pillars of American literature. But when you write about your family on your own website, you're exploiting your child for your personal gain.
You're doing what all writers do - writing. Where you put the words isn't really the issue. What you want to write about is your perogative. Keep at it Dooce.
142. leslienashgirl said:
halle-flippin-lujah!
143. Sara said:
Well said. Beautiful words and such a beautiful young lady. (When did she become a young lady? What is happening?)
No one has the right to accuse you of such things. Whether I agree with your choices or not, I know that you made a conscious, well thought out choice, Heather. This is America, where we have choices - and a free market economy. Make your living where you can, and if you are lucky, at something you love. Make lots and lots of money and never apologize. Doing well for your family is part of your rights as a member of this country.
You are not exploiting, you are choosing - continue kicking butt - there are lots of us behind you!
<3
144. Andi said:
I grew up with a very emotionally unstable and moody mother who found it difficult to express her love for her children. Recently, I came across some photographs of her with me when I was an infant, and was struck by the look of adoration on her face as she looked at me. It occurred to me then that she must really have loved me, but was unable to say it. As Leta grows, she will no doubt convince herself that you hate her, that you want her to be unhappy and that you are unbearably cruel to her. But when she grows out of that stage, she will have these amazingly loving, poignant messages to her that will change her mind. She will then be convinced that she had the most wonderful mother ever, and nominate you for sainthood. You're a great Mom, Heather... one that I wish I had 40 years ago, and one that Leta is lucky to have. Bless you!
145. Madness said:
Heather B Armstrong .. you are my HERO.
~Mother of Five Children .. aka .. Madness.
146. Christine said:
F yes. I think there will be different stages of Leta's "resentment" and embarrassment... and like you said. I can't think of a single adolescent girl who didn't resent her mother...whether it was because she was too naive or too sweet or too strict or too cool! I have turned my [naive, sweet, strict, cool] mom onto your site and even though she's easily offended sometimes, she still [metaphorically] pumps her fist in the air. All I have are handfuls of stories from my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and older cousins about what I was like as a kid. Leta has a LEGACY. You have given her an amazing gift Heather.
147. Heather said:
People are hateful. Your family is beautiful. Thanks for sharing Jon, Leta, Charlie and Coco with us.
148. Melissa said:
I've been reading you forever, but never commented before. I read the same article that I believe you are referring to and was struck with how negative it was. Honestly, as the mother of two little girls, age 3 and 1, I don't know how I would have made it these last few years without the connections I've made via "mommy" blogs. They've made me laugh, they've made me cry, but mostly? The remind me that even in the isolation that motherhood can feel to be, I AM NOT ALONE. And I thank you for that. You write so candidly and beautifully and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are doing women everywhere a real and honest service. Keep it up. You have so many grateful readers...
149. Mental P Mama said:
I cannot wait to see you next week. The truth rocks.
150. Amy said:
Heather, you are doing a wonderful job raising a beautiful, intelligent, independent spirit. I hope she turns out just like you. Ignore the naysayers, and keep up the witty and insightful writing. - Amy (mom of three crazy children)
151. shaunacon said:
Very well put.
Reading the letters you write to Leta inspires me. Every time I read one I suddenly feel a little bit less afraid to have kids. Thank you for that.
I think it will be good for Leta to have your collection of newsletters to read later in life. It will give her insight into herself, and you, that normally takes years of therapy to uncover.
Also, you are geniuses for being able to make money through the web as you do. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. It is not exploitation at all just an outlet for you to share your life experiences with others that happens to make money.
152. Colleen Snell said:
Fist pumping for you. And, she's gorgeous. I'm not even a mother, and I get it.
153. aimee-va said:
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was so afraid you were going to say that you were going to stop writing about Leta. Thank you for not stopping. Thank you for giving me a new reason to go on!
P.S. To Leta - Please remember that cheerleaders are people, too.
154. Laurie said:
I've been under the same fire because I podcast about my divorce. Even had a lawsuit about it. The internet is just a tool. It drops a layer of technology over human behavior and our desire to connect. So Leta might grow up and discover you are human. Not so bad in the scheme of life....
155. Anonymous said:
Thank you for this post, and thank you for articulating the benefits created by the movement that you are part of. The fairy-tale-ization of motherhood is the very thing that creates shame and guilt for so many modern mothers as we learn, tantrum by tantrum, that this is so much harder than anyone said it was. There is no question in my mind that Leta will be a better mother one day for your honesty. You are giving her a great gift.
156. Tara Newhole said:
I'm not a mother, but I only wish I was as fortunate to have the knowledge of how mine felt/feels about me as your daughter will. My family doesn't talk much. At least to each other.
I found your page by accident one day looking for something completely unrelated and I have become a big fan. I think you're brilliant. I know it's easier said than done, but: Don't let 'em get to you. What 'they' DON'T know, usually, could fill a warehouse. keep on gal. mucho amore.
157. Joanna Rubiner said:
Bravo!
And besides, she's gonna hate you for something, it might as well be well written and well photographed and well paid.
158. Gwenn said:
Your website (new to me about 8 months ago) is what has gotten me through getting fired by a jerk, fighting for my job, getting it back and coping with the disgrace. I needed an outlet. I discoverd blogging. I blogged about my work until I read about you then I deleted everything so fast my mouse got confused. I now have a blog with stories about my daughters, pictures, and video. I tell stories about my blind friend and living in a small town. Reading your blog has brought my voice back. I was getting into photography and you have inspired me. I was just a mom and a teacher, now I am a mom, teacher, blogger, and photographer. I have learned so much reading not only your site but Jon's. I have even felt guilty for being mad at my husband when you professed your love for Jon and emailed mine with an I Love You. What you do is a gift to get us through our mundane day. Your daughter will read the letters and truly understand what you have done. You have humor and she will too. Thank you for showing me the options and making me laugh.
159. Traci said:
She is beautiful.
And, I applaud you (as do many others in these comments) for your honesty about motherhood. Anon said it best - no one tells us how truly freakin' hard this whole mommy thing is. It is wonderful to be able to read about another mom's experiences and go "holy crap! I'm not the only one whose 4 year old is doing that."
I said it before, I'll say it again. This blog is amazing.
160. Cara said:
Amen, sister. As a new mother, blogging and reading other women's blogs (especially the always fab Dooce!) have kept me sane as I adjusted to the stay at home gig. Thank you for your honesty and humor and keep it up.
161. Anonymous said:
I agree wholeheartedly...and someday, I hope to be as good a mom as you.
Thank you for keeping it real.
162. Anonymous said:
Yes yes yes!
163. Ro (Lilyhill) said:
What are all those idiots worried about? Leta will be perfectly capable of telling you what she thinks of all this when she writes her own blog.
Damn, now that's a blog I can't wait to read!
164. betsey said:
This made me cry and I'm not even a mom. Your daughter is lovely, but you know that.
People... don't hate! Appreciate!
165. Liz said:
Amen.
The real reason my husband and I had kids was not to blog about them: it was to dress them up in funny outfits and then laugh at them.
Then we kiss their tiny, soft bellies and they laugh too.
166. Morgan said:
Heck, I'm pumping my fist in the air right now. We've come a long way from "The Yellow Wallpaper"!
167. Jenny said:
I love these newsletters, and I wait each month to read them. Can I be adopted by you? I'm only half joking.
168. Liz said:
Yes! I am so glad you chose to keep comments open for this entry, because you deserve the hundreds that will come in praising you for this.
I'm struggling to put into words how I feel about this "newsletter" - it's eloquent, strong, funny, and ultimately everything that makes you a fantastic mother to that beautiful girl.
And by the way, when did she turn 30? My word, those eyes!
169. Eighty eight said:
You truly are an amazing mother. I have been reading your blog now for 2 years and I only wish I would have found it sooner. I guess at least my 2 year old has a chance....You have been a breath of fresh air, and a guide for my day to day life. Thank you.
170. Sheila said:
All I can say, Heather, is keep on keeping on. It's plain to see how much you all love each other but at the same time you don't shirk from talking about the really hard times. I can't believe Leta will be anything but proud of her mum in years to come - well, as much as any child is proud of their parents! Obviously people are entitled to their point of view about exploitation and, even though you don't agree with them - and nor do I, it's good that you give them a voice too. You are honest and brave and hugely appreciated by thousands of people all over the world.
171. Lori said:
Thank you. I've been blogging my family's life for the last 2.5 years. I got endless streams of emails when I documented our 25 weekers life almost daily on the website. It was free therapy for me and ended connecting me to other preemie-moms which I'll always be grateful.
Keep going. Mom-bloggers Unite. :)
172. Steph said:
This almost made me teary. I am so proud of you (and your cohorts) and it may take a while, but one day Leta will be proud, too. It took me until last year (I'm 24) to really understand and appreciate my mother. But it will happen.
About your trip to New York: It would be super if you could have some sort of signing on the 8th, because that's when I'm going to be in the city. If that doesn't work, then please let me take you two out for lunch or something. =) At the very least have an awesome time on the East Coast.
173. Leslie said:
word.
UP.
174. JDB said:
KUDOS!!!
Every leader and pioneer knows that the hardest part is getting up the courage to at first turn their back on the crowd.