• Anonymous

    Quoting from yesterday: “by the orderly way you’ve taken to organizing our cocaine in straight, easily-snortable lines”. As a mother of an addicted son, I want to say that I hate these kinds of statements thrown out there just in an attempt to be humorous. IT AIN’T FUNNY. Please rethink the use of them.

  • http://www.benjaminboudreau.ca Ben

    Remember the boy version? Mighty Max? Mini Max? Something like that…it’s basically the butch version of a mini girl living in a mini house with mini accessories. SO BUTCH!

  • http://www.theadventuresofsupermom.com Michelle

    HA HA!!

    I am a country girl at heart and when I am with my family it REALLY comes out.

    My husband comes from a snotty private school and is ALWAYS correcting me!!! I am always hearing, “behind a preposition” when I say “where are you at?”. Get over my AT and leave it alone. HA HA

    He does admit he loves to hear me say, “Ya’ll”. ~shrug~ I can still kick his butt in Scrabble though!

    Michelle

  • Kate

    What disturbs me far more than Leta’s loving inclusion of the letter L is this notion:

    That Coco might eat Polly’s shoe, poop it out, eat the poop, poop it out… in a vicious cycle until Leta happens to notice a small pastel piece of footwear sticking out of a dogpile in the backyard… and maybe insist that it be recovered? Or maybe she’ll banish Coco from the family forever. Perhaps you should start a therapy savings account now / arrange a safe house for the (stinking cute) dog should these events conspire.

  • Alexis

    There appear to be few regional differences among 3 and 4 year old girls however – my older daughter is 3 1/2 and we live in Canada and our house is infested with polly pockets and barbies and princesses and all things pink. Today I caught the girl pretending to put on lipstick and I don’t even wear lipstick. Last time we lost a polly pocket shoe my husband found it in the (then 12 month old) baby’s mouth. We couldn’t figure out why the baby was rejecting her bottle – turned out she’d been gnawing on a polly pocket shoe for TWO HOURS. Sigh…we then had to banish all things polly pocket to girl no.1′s bedroom as whenever girl no.2 sees any polly pocket accessories, she promptly tries to eat them. I am almost tempted to chew one myself, just to test it for tastiness, but have thus far resisted.

  • Beth

    Years ago, my daughter came home from 2nd grade with a big red circle next to the word sawl. This is exactly how her father pronounces it so she saw no problem with it. We still make fun of him when he says it this way!

  • Brenda

    I’ve read you for a long time but never commented, emailed or anything like that. I know you get a lot of shit, but you are alright. I hope great things are coming your family’s way. The best is yet to come.

    -Brenda

  • http://www.bunsnip.com Sra

    Hope you got them wet first.

  • http://sarahthe.wordpress.com SarahThe

    Here’s some bullets for you:

    - My sister always added some extra L’s to words when she was growing up. ‘Bra’ sounded like ‘brawl’ for example. The one that always made me crazy was ‘concreek’ which should have been ‘concrete.’ She’s 20 now and I swear she still slips says ‘concreek’ on occasion just to drive me batty.

    - Your June masthead is fantastic.

    and – My top three shows ever are Sigur Ros, Radiohead and Sufjan. You ever seen Sufjan Stevens live? Pretty fantastic show. Since our top two are the same, I can only assume that you’d enjoy my top three, as well.

  • Anonymous

    Ha, yeah…my 6½-year-old still says ‘sawl’ and ‘drawl’ and pretty much ‘-awl’ ANYTHING that ends with ‘-aw’. It drives me crazy and I try to ignore it most of the time, but hey. Sometimes, you just gotta say something. Kinda like when the same kid uses the word “it” in the place of “that”. You know. As in “I think it we should go to the park today.” THAT. Honey. THAAAAAT.

    Oh, and this has nothing to do with north-vs-south…nope. We’re about as northern as they get (ok, not really, but think central PA) so no southern drawl here. …Or is it southern draw?

  • Triss

    new reader here. enjoying the doocery.

    could you bring chuck calendars to the signing tonight? i think i must have one.

  • http://www.holycrapiampregnant.blogspot.com/ Rose

    I think that in those books you buy (or make) to document things like baby’s first word, baby’s first tooth, baby’s lock of hair, etc – there should be a place for baby’s first swear word – it happens to everyone – and I bet you chuckled a bit! I know I would/will when it happens to me! I will chuckle and try to stifle my laughter before trying to explain why that word is bad.

  • Anonymous

    did you see the reference one Heather Armstrong in US News this week? felt like i was reading about friend, i was so excited to see it.

  • http://amyrollo.com/brookland Amy

    Too good. TOO GOOD. FAR TOO GOOD!!

  • Lauren in NYC

    Becky #294–absolutely hilarious. Dooce–hilarious again.

    I’m from Wisconsin (you may know it on the East Coast as WESS-consin….). My daughter is having a hard time placing her Midwestern pronunciation out here in Brooklyn…I secretly hopes she gets a regional accent from growing up here.

    The one that grinds my gears: “All’s I need is…” All’s???!!!

  • http://datingisweird.blogspot.com/ Serial

    As long as she never says irregardless.

    Or says literally when she’s speaking figuratively (“I LITERALLY died!” Um, no, you didn’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be telling me this witty little story, now would you?)

  • http://mcmamasmusings.blogspot.com McMama

    I think *I* am a little in love with your husband.

    Also, I’m glad to hear I’m not the only parent who is not only amused but even a little proud of my 3-year-old’s proper swearing abilities. (“Oh, shit, we forgot my cup!” he says.)

  • http://bigpikchur.blogspot.com HouseofJules

    When I lived down south, we used to pronounce that last word as “FRAY-zer”. :)

  • Keri

    oh dear god. Polly has removable shoes now? 15 years ago when my daughter was young enough to care and love them in their early days (when they were actually small enough to be pocket sized and small enough to choke on – doll and all – her clothes and shoes stayed painted on her body. Where it belonged… Poor Leta.

    Smack that Jon. Grammar lessons at a time like this are completely unwarranted. I think frozen underwear is totally too easy for him. ;-)

  • Terri Sinclair

    Love these reminders that life, even in the Dooce household, is not perfect!

    And, am I wrong or isn’t “Dad have you saw my Polly Pockets shoe?” almost as bad as “Dad have you sawl my Polly Pockets shoe?” Just wondering…..

  • Jennifer

    Maybe Leta was trying to add a y’all to the end? That’s how we speak “down home,” as my mother insists on calling the part of Appalachia my family lived originally.
    I enjoy driving my east coast husband crazy because I hear absolutely no difference in the pronunciation between the words “pen” and “pin.” I still say there isn’t one.

    PS. Oh, I just have to tell you that the Captcha words I have to fill in are “modest hearts.” Did you let a Mormom hymn determine them or something?

  • http://www.astrangebird.net gesikah

    PLEASE tell me that Leta knows how to use “fixing” correctly.

    As in “I am fixing to doe-pop you, if you don’t stop it!”.

    And doesn’t Jon have any home-training, it’s inappropriate to make fun of others’ culture. Even if said culture and the language that accompanies it is utterly wrong and ridiculous.

  • Star

    Wait til you have a boy. There is absolutely nothing more painful than getting up in the middle of the night to pee and stepping on a stray Lego. And by stepping I mean having the tender and delicate arch of your previously warm and cozy foot, gouged by a hard plastic brick. Cursing and stumbling, you finally make it to the bathroom and go to sit down and, remember you have a preschool aged son now, fall in to the toilet because, god knows little boys can’t be bothered to put the seat down.

  • http://rivetergirl.blogspot.com Robin

    Just so you know, Polly Pockets were invented by the Nazis as a form of torture for unsuspecting parents.

    However, now is a good time to teach Leta the joy of unmatched shoes.

  • MP

    When I was little, all my Barbies came without shoes. I didn’t even know Barbies were supposed to have shoes, and that’s how my mom never had to help me look for them. Anyway, I’m from KY, so it made sense.

    So, next time Leta gets a new Polly Pocket doll, just tell her it’s Shoeless Yokel Polly. Problem solved. :)

  • http://twentyfouratheart.typepad.com Twenty Four At Heart

    AWWWWWWWWWW …….!!!
    Men and women should never marry. We are 2 different species and we may love each other, but living together? For long periods of time?

  • Catherine Bell

    Thanks, I needed a giggle this morning…saw, sawl, makes no difference, they’re both wrong in that sentence :)

  • http://toasted.blogspot.com Trysha

    Being the mom of two boys, girls toys freak me out. I really want to know why they can’t make Bratz shoes removable vs having to take off THE WHOLE FOOT. Yikes!!!!

    In my culture (Spanish/Mexican-American) all the men in my family refer to it as “throwing a fart”. Example: “Oh, I just threw a fart.” Exposing your kids to different cultures is important. Teach her that and we’ll see what Jon has to say. :)

  • Tek

    Ya’ll is one OR more.

  • The Ferret

    Wooooow…. dig that new masthead!!!!! :) Funny and clever, just as YOU always are. Little did Tessa know that her e-mail would provide inspiration for an entire month’s homepage. I love it….

  • Bonkersmomof4

    Both of my girls have gone through a period of saying sawl. Neither of my boys have said it. But my girls have turned out to be pretty smart, and handle the language as well as anyone from Memphis can. My boys are boys, and that’s just what it is.

  • http://lepetitpouletnew.blogspot.com/ Susan

    I’m convinced that Polly Pockets were created by the DEVIL just to annoy the parents who constantly have to clean them up or search for some piece of ridiculously sized clothing article!!
    Jon sounds like my mom, she is always freaking out on my kids about grammar and most of the time they have no idea what she means either? She repeats them and they repeat her and it turns into the most obnoxious game ever!!

  • http://www.kwanawrites.blogspot.com/ Kwana Writes

    Nope. Not surprised at all!

  • http://fromdenmarkinenglish.wordpress.com/ That danish dude

    HAH, this is totally my childhood home all over again!

    My dad and I would correct my mom and sister all the time.
    Like my mom always pronounces surreal; [cereal] – actually in danish it’s much worse…

    Aparrently I adopted my fathers love for correct pronounciation…

  • trashalou

    I had the same thought the first time I heard my child use ‘shit’ in context. She had just accidentally slid off the couch and landed head first in the floor. Even though she was not quite three I sighed a little proud mummy moment that my girl was so on the ball!

  • http://injennifershead.com Jennifer

    LOL!
    Actually we are sticklers for speech in our house.
    When my 9 year old son emerges from brushing his teeth, his last chore of the evening, he says, “I’m all ready for bad.”
    We say, “Bad? Well that sounds like trouble.”
    When he starts an explanation for anything he says, “Wool, he was…”
    We say, “Wool? How does a fabric figure into this story?”

  • http://gapeachinco.blogspot.com/ A Little Southern Comfort in CO

    For some reason my son pronounces crayon as ‘crown’, also. Maybe he gets it from the Texas side of the family that pronounces water as war-ter? Who knows? Anyway, as long as you pronounce pecan as puh-caan and not pee-can, you’re alright.

    You are alright, aren’t you? ;)

  • http://www.deathchic.com Steph

    Is the Utah accent that bad? Should I be grateful that I’m in California and the only thing that interferes with my children’s ability to speak properly is the inclusion of “dude” in every sentence, phrase and fragment?

  • http://www.meltingmama.net MM

    But, the undie freezing could be, interesting.

  • Briana

    Eh, Leta’s four. She’ll figure it out. Someday soon, she will be at that age where she makes fun of the way John speaks. I don’t have kids yet, but I sure had fun making fun of my parents as a teenager, especially when I discovered that “wash” shouldn’t be pronounced “worsh” or “fresh” as “fraysh”. Lovey Kansas accent my mother’s got!

  • Sharon

    I’ll bet when you put his underwear in the freezer, you’ll open it up and find those stupid Polly Pocket shoes!

  • http://put-it-on-the-list.blogspot.com/ Lisa

    I vote you wash it all with a red sock first, THEN stick it in the freezer. Still damp.

  • http://grommitblog.blogspot.com/ R Dakin

    I did a double take the other day when Garrett (born an raised in CA, and a child of parents born and raised in CA so he HAS no accent, OK?)asked me if I would get him his crowns. Having just watched the video post of you and John pronouncing words, I was particularly attuned to this word. When I asked him, “What was it you wanted me to get you?” he repeated himself. The second time it came out sounding more like “crans”. Whew. I can live with that.

  • http://auberginejoyeuse.blogspot.com katie

    how come i hadn’t thought of husband underwear in the freezer before?! good thing he doesn’t read this blog, because he’s going to be in for a nice little surprise the next time he pisses me off :)

  • http://secretlifeofx.wordpress.com Becca

    hahaha.

    hysterical.

    oh and i saw this and thought of you.

    seriously— if you read these— check it out!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6ylxWcwkUM

    (has your child been tested for— cooties?)

  • Maria

    I still at 28 say sawl to irritate my mother. The look on her face when she says “Maria Dawn it is SAW not sawlllllllllllllllllllllllll” is hilarious.

  • http://www.likeatwister.blogspot.com Amber

    I think you outta chuck one of those Polly Pocket shoes his way and then holler at him, “Betcha didn’t seed that comin’”

    Sawl is better than ain’t. And crayon is totally forgivable. At least she’s talking, right?

  • amyd

    Wow. Thank you #63, Mariam, for that great explanation.

    My mom never bought me shoes for my dolls. So I’m fully with Leta on this one. I don’t care if it’s SEEN, SAW, SAWL, SEENED, or SAWEDLED, just find the kid her shoes!!!1

    Unless they’re tiny Crocs. Just because I love you, D. No tiny Crocs.

    (hey, my captcha is Gallagher and April!)

  • http://ipitw.blogspot.com/ TentCamper

    I can totally relate. With kids ranging from 4 to 16…each age group needs their own translator. I end up walking in circles around the house, correcting English…it is ok (in a sense) for the 11 and under group, but the 13 year old…has a language of made up words that I think only 13 year olds get the handbook for and then the 16 year old…OMG…the combinatin of texting codes and paraphrasing everything has me scratching my head in confusion.

    Love your blog!

  • http://www.tortillatime.com Tori

    He sounds like a treat.