Version 6.1

You may have noticed that last week we launched a modified design to this website, and I didn’t want to say anything about it for a few days because I just couldn’t get enough of the disgruntled email. I sort of inadvertently conducted a little social experiment, one where the longer I remained silent about the changes, the angrier certain people became. In fact, it started when I failed to update the masthead at the very beginning of February, when I dared to subject people to the words JANUARY 2009 for several unbearable days. Here’s what some of you had to say:

Are your Christmas lights still hanging outside? Perhaps your tree is still in the corner of your living room, dropping needles and ornaments on a regular basis? It’s February 9th. As in NOT January any longer. Please change your masthead. It’s an embarrassment.

And this missive sent on February 5th…

You make LIVING off of this website. Therefore; I feel you have a responsibility to your readership and sponsors to keep your site current.  I don’t have the slightest clue as how to design a masthead or a website or anything else for that matter.  But Dude, it’s mid-February.  Where’s the new masthead?

Some just cut to the chase, like this one sent on February 2nd:

It’s February and you haven’t changed your banner. So unprofessional.

Truth is, I was hoping that we could launch the major website design changes at the beginning of the month, but that date kept getting pushed back, and the February masthead I had designed fit the new layout. So I didn’t think it would upset the rotation of the Earth too much if the masthead remained in its January clothes for a few more days. Oh, how I underestimate the testiness of certain readers! I’m going to let you in on a secret… sometimes, when I’m feeling sinister, I like to use “your” when I mean “you’re” and “there” when I mean “they’re” because one or two or thirteen hundred of you find such a mistake so insufferable that you cannot help but send me an email that begins with, “I don’t usually do this, but…” and ends with your heads spontaneously exploding. It’s that popping sound I love so much.

And then the redesign… dear lord god, I don’t think I would have received such a strong response if I had visited your house and taken a shit in your Cheerios. There are several reasons I wanted to change things up a bit, and in the interest of being totally honest, the main one is BECAUSE I’M PREGNANT. The fact that I have not shaved my head and covered my face in tattoos can be explained only by my unwavering lethargy, and if I had maybe one or two cups of strong coffee I’d be out there right now looking for someone to dye my entire body blue. The need for change is as overwhelming as it is inexplicable, and this trickled right down into the design of my website. It’s probably all the hormones, but I was tempted for just a second to replace everything with a giant picture of my lily-white ass and a thought bubble shooting out of my crack. It would say: DUDE, IT’S MID-FEBRUARY.

Other reasons for the changes: many of you complained that the text was too small to read, so we enlarged the size of the text and added a bit of space around everything. Many of you complained that I never updated my website unaware that I post pictures and commentary every day in the Daily Photo, Daily Chuck, and Daily Style section of this website. Since I moved those thumbnails into the main content area, I’ve received countless emails to the tune of, “I like this new Daily Photo section you added…” A section that has been around for almost five years.

For those of you who found the relocation of those thumbnails a personal insult, I am terribly sorry, I did not mean for it to upset you so badly. We have since added tabs above the masthead that take you directly to the most recent post in those sections. I’m hoping this solves the navigational issues that frustrated so many of you.

Yes, I still plan on updating and changing the masthead every month, and I promise I will try to avoid using hot pink in future versions, although, did you read that paragraph above about spontaneous explosions? In the coming weeks we plan to launch several other changes mainly to the layout and function of the archives, changes that should make it so much easier to navigate through older content. It’s still a work in progress, and I’m listening to and taking notes of the more constructive suggestions. Best one so far:

I hate your new layout. Such a hassle to have to scroll. Two words: lame.

I asked Jon if he could please fix this bug.

  • http://elegraph.blogspot.com kg

    Admittedly, I was all “Hey! Wha’ happened to Daily Style?” at first, but I found a post, clicked on the tag, and voila! Problem solved. It’s your site; run it the way you see fit. And as for the banner – well, I sorta figured that perhaps you had bigger things to deal with – like, say, growning a HUMAN BEING in your body! Any of you haters work while pregnant? It ain’t always easy!

    Best wishes,
    Keisha

  • http://marcusandjenlane.blogspot.com Jen L.

    GOD, I love you!
    People who get so personally insulted by blogs and such crack me up. I think your new layout is just dandy. And for the record, I left my Christmas stuff up til January 13.

  • danielle

    Wowzers. Turns out I’m immune to your cheerio-pooping threats as I’m allergic to Mr. Honeybee’s bowl-a-multigrain goodness. That being said, I dig the banner and footer but the vast expanse of negative/white space in the middle has me feeling a little like I stared too long at an Edward Hopper painting. However, I do have faith that you’ll put “some sort of stuff” (technical term) where it needs to go to makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If not, maybe you could have Oprah give us all a hug.

    With regard to any alleged tardiness on your part, I have one word: sillyness. I can think of very few things in the professional world that ever get done on time. Especially if THEY DON’T COST US ANYTHING.

    So… take your time, take my cheerios, but touch my coffee and I’ll poke you in the eye.

  • Emily

    i really like the in-line posting of the daily photo/chuck/style. sometimes i couldn’t remember if i’d seen it before, with the tiny thumbnail as my only clue. now i get a wider thumb and a title to boot, so i know whether to click or not click. lovely.

  • Joanna

    Hot pink? what hot pink? It looks like fuscia to me

  • Megan

    I know change is scary but this is ridiculous. Why are so many angry people here? And why do they feel the need to keep coming back if it makes them angry – move on dude.

    Rock on Heather. Your page, your plan. Heck, your pregnancy.

  • Hillary

    If you came to my house and took a shit in my cheerios, I’d ask you for your autograph.

  • http://www.DonnyPauling.com Donny Pauling

    I love the new layout! It’s fresh and nifty! (isn’t nifty a nifty word?)

  • http://www.johnstongraphics.com Mike

    Erm… I found this funny, because I don’t technically even look at your web page… I read the feeds.. and its all in there. People need to get their heads out of their asses..

  • MissTrixie

    Ummmmm…

    I kinda like the hot pink. Well, ok, I really like the hot pink, ‘cos pink’s my favorite color.

    But the lack of the Daily Chuck etc. nav at the top kinda threw me. Thanks for the tabs.

    Oh, and your current Daily Style? With the trench coat? Wow, look at the HOT mommy!!!!!!

  • Michelle

    Seriously. Who the hell are these people w/all this negative commentary. Honestly, if they had half a brain & had some sort of RSS feed collector thingy like Google Reader they would see your updates. Ugh!

    In the words of the highly regarded Kim & Sheree from the Real Housewives of Atlanta – “Let your haters be your motivators.”

  • USK

    I am a know-it-all complainer, therefore semi-colon.
    Gold.

  • http://mcbonerville.tumblr.com Jen

    “OMG! People are crazy.”

    It is so true. I like that about this website. Dooce.com is always around to illustrate the wide variety of CRAZY that exists in the world today. I mean, I’m crazy, you’re crazy, I deal with certain crazies, you deal with other crazies. Crazy is entertaining. And that is the point of this weblog right?

  • Anonymous

    Wow, some people just have no lives. Seriously to get all gross about something that is a few days behind. Ugly behavior from them.

  • Lilac

    I like the new look. Very fresh. I KNEW you would have a bunch of crazies freaking out on you though. As soon as a saw the new look I thought, “Un oh, she is so in for it.” I felt guilty that I was missing the boxes on top that took you right to the daily stuff and I appreciate that you added the tabs. But there was no way I was going to jump on the nutjob pile and complain!

  • http://onewordisenough.blogspot.com/ Zhoen

    Actually, I used to only read the feed because I didn’t much care for the navigation on the old version. I never complained to you, I hasten to mention. The new design means I’ll come here much more often. Like, well, every day that you post rants or photos of the doggies.

    Sorry, my head doesn’t pop, just sort of makes a faint sigh followed by a squishy splat.

  • Jen

    I hadn’t realized there was a new look until your post today (I subscribe to you feed on Google Reader). It really is hilarious the things people get there panties in a wad about. You should do more posts where you share funny hatemail people have sent to you. It just makes me laugh because I have experienced these people face to face in all of their glory (I work in the hotel indistry) and I know that’s how they really are.

    Anyways- I still love your site. I think it would be funny if you posted a picture of your ass. Keep on doing what you’re doing!

  • http://www.myspace.com/rifleonline Jet

    The only problem I had with your new layout you ‘fixed’ without me even thinking about it. Thank you for bowing to my merest whim.

    Sincerely,

    Random guy on the intertubes.

  • http://stuffsuzlikes.blogspot.com/ Suz

    I like the new layout! As well as the HOT pink!
    Though our fossilized Christmas tree is still laying in the backyard and I have a guest room full of Christmas Decorations that may or may not be put away before Christmas ’09.

  • GringaJessica

    Well, damn if I don’t feel like a slacker for not calling you out sooner on your offensive lack of up-to-the minute website updates! I mean, shit, Heather, why the hell wasn’t the new site up and running by midnight on February 1st? Oh wait, I think it’s cause I figured you were busy growing another body inside your own and we should cut you some damn slack. Thanks, internet, for reminding me that nothing short of complete anally retentive Type A-ism is acceptable.

    I did prefer the older version of the site, personally, but again, I (apparently mistakenly) figured that you and Jon are the brains behind this whole operation and I’m not a designer, so I should suck it up and adapt to new things. Apparently I’m swimming against the current, though. :)

  • Nic

    Next month you should just put a masthead up there, black and white: M

    You can center the ‘M’ if you’re feeling generous.

  • http://www.midnightcliff.com hello haha narf

    i almost feel sad for how pathetic some people can be. on the whole i truly do love folks and give them the benefit of the doubt, but your reader hate mail reminds me of how damn petty people can be.

    while i personally liked the thumbnails for daily photo, chuck and style at the top as opposed to the new design, it is YOUR blog to do whatever the hell you want with. if i don’t like the layout i can stay in my feed reader anyhow. point is, your content is what keeps me returning, not the layout.

  • http://moseyalong.blogspot.com moseyalong

    As a relatively new reader of your divine website (September-ish):

    LOVE the pink.
    Appreciate the new links to the Daily stuff (which I wasn’t aware of!)
    And DOUBLE-LOVE the smackdown you give the nasties.

  • Marissa

    People are so judgmental, thank them for their page views which add to the “giant pot of money you don’t deserve” and leave it at that.

    I like when you change things, keeps it fresh. I’m 13 weeks pregnant and every day around 6:30pm I just loose all patience with the world, my family and anything that makes noise. If I had to read those ridiculous comments about “my” website too, I’d lose it.

  • Sarah

    Oh my god. I had no idea people were so lame.
    I love your website, and if I ever stop loving it, you know what? I won’t visit anymore. It’s that easy.
    Seriously, folks.
    Heather, you rock.

  • HMFT

    GAWD, you have some scary followers. Where do they come from? Who breeds them? And because I read your blog, does that mean I have something in COMMON with them? We are strangely alike?

    *shaking of head*

    Nononononononono.

  • Janice

    I’ll admit, I was at first confused by the new daily photo placement. However, I WAITED and a few days later noticed that tabs, which I LOVE. I feel my confusion must be fully attrbuted to you. You suck for throwing my whole day into disarray – you anarchist, you. Do I have to update your blog? No. Do I have to design your rotating mastheads? No. Do I have to take the initiative to bathe daily? Well, yes, but that’s not the point. You and your blog are FABULOUS, not to mention free. I’m glad you can laugh at the losers.

  • Kat Dexter

    I stumbled across your website/blog for the first time today – therefore all talk of the re-design, snipes and grumbles from your regulars has completely passed me by. Your site looks great, is refreshing, funny and edgy. I think it’s great.

  • http://alfredsmom.typepad.com alfredsmom

    Thanks for adding the little tabs on the top right for the Daily pics. I love those links and like the tabs better than the included in the post link. (But to each his own and I would never email you threatening emails to change something just for me!).

    I never noticed you didnt have the Feb banner up right away!

  • http://lovesdolphins.bravejournal.com/ emily

    I don’t normally do this but… I LOVE IT.

    I really like the new way the site is laid out. I do like the addition of the tabs at the very top; makes it a wee bit easier to navigate to get my daily Chuck quota.

    I seriously wonder what these people do that have nothing better to do than to complain about a freaking BLOG!!!

  • http://www.thatgirlruns.com Chris

    Honestly! Your readers’ comments are almost as hilarious as your posts. So many of them need to get a life it’s frightening!!!

    Good job on the redesign, as always!!!

  • Beth

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I can’t believe peeps get so darned TESTy.

    Love it, love your writing, change anything and everything you want to , because you know why?

    It’s YOUR site.

  • Dana

    You’re a hoot. I’m amazed how much common decency has flown out the window with the proliferation of personal computers. (I’m also pretty surprised how many asshats read this website.)

    Your site is great! Don’t change a thing. ;)

  • http://www.survivethemayhem.com SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem

    Oh those pesky readers and their expectations! But hey, their riduculous e-mails made for a great blog post, right? Like they say; when life gives you limes, make a margarita–or something like that.

  • keagansmom

    “a thought bubble shooting out of my crack”

    funniest thing I’ve read in a while.

    brilliant.

  • Jen

    What is WRONG with people?

    I’m impressed you have the energy to do anything to it. When I was PG it was all I could some days to run a comb through my hair.

  • rebecca

    You rock. Nuff said.

  • http://jonniker.com jonniker

    Aaand, Jen just proved my point. I’m telling you, it’s BIZARRELY RIVETING.

    (Although at the same time, I see what she means about criticism in general, and lo, I do hate that, when someone can’t say anything negative without getting lynched, here or anywhere, but again, that’s not what I’m observing here. It’s that weird ownership thing. Am so calling PG and demanding a new album soon that meets my exact specifications. After all, I’ve been a fan since I was in utero and without me, he’d be nowhere, I tell you.)

  • Joanne

    Honestly, people! Get a life! Really! Heather, I can’t believe that people complain… don’t they have better things to do with their time? My Lord! If negative thoughts about anyone’s website stay in my prettly little head long enough for me to figure out how to navigate through to make comments, … what was I saying?

    Oh yeah – I like the pretty pictures, and pink header, and a big fat raspberry to the nega-thinkers!

  • http://heresyourgravy.blogspot.com Maxine Dangerous

    I still can’t get over how shitty some people can be. It’s a website, for God’s sake. Go get a hobby and stop waiting for an excuse to mail bomb people.

    I think the site looks nice with the hot pink. Plan to ‘stroll’ around later. :)

    Best,

    MD

  • http://blog.invaltdesign.com Angela

    Thanks to Google Reader, all the blogs I read look identical. No formatting, no design, just content. Yours is always awesome.

    Can your next masthead please read “All you haters suck my balls”?

  • Laura

    You ROCK. That was hilarious!

    People. They’re the worst.

  • http://coconutbelly.blogspot.com jen

    ohmygod … it’s february?

  • http://.thephotofather.com Tom

    Don’t peeps have anything else better to do???

  • M.R.

    February needs hot pink more than any other month. Seriously, I throw a Pink Party every February just to get rid of the blahs, blues and blehs that come with such a gray part of the year.

    The site is great. As long as there is a daily pic of Chuckles the Former Congressman, I will be totally happy. And I DO like the new style “suggestions” format. It’s fun.

  • Cate

    More Cowbell!

  • http://www.aroundthesubject.blogspot.com Kara Lewis

    God, I love this blog.

  • Becky

    Some people are far too emotionally involved in your blog, and perhaps the internet as a whole.

  • http://wwwstu.tcu.edu/smallen/ Stephanie Allen

    Wow I love this layout. It’s beautiful!

  • Stephanie

    Holy crap. People are so friggin persnickety sometimes. Running a site like this takes a tremendous amount of work. And launching a site redesign just as the book is about to come out while you got yourself a bun in the oven is ambitious to say the least. Love the pink, love the site, but really I come here for your writing. Boo haters!