30 weeks
Last week marked my 30th week of pregnancy (tomorrow marks week 31), so I had Jon snap this photo last Wednesday night in Austin at our hotel room a few hours after the book signing:
Friday morning I had an appointment with my OBGYN who made a point of telling me that she was much more pleased with this month's weight gain, a surprisingly low three pounds, than with my weight gain throughout the rest of my pregnancy. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. Internet, I have been eating room service and airplane peanuts for three straight weeks. Readers brought me doughnuts and rice krispie treats and enormous chocolate cupcakes, and I ate all of it. Plus, I slept like total crap. I'm surprised the scale did not start screaming when it saw me waddling down that hallway.
Whereas in the months before my book tour I was much more careful about the quality and quantity of food I put into my mouth and maintained a three-to-four day a week workout schedule, and every time they weighed me it was all ARMSTRONG, THAT'S ANOTHER TWELVE POUNDS. So she can sit there and wave her finger at me and tell me to lay off the potato chips, but come on! Those numbers don't lie! I gained less weight by eating more sugar! That's called science! It was my body's way of saying HEY HEATHER! WE NEED MORE CUPCAKES!
I don't know if I can find the words to describe just how happy I am to be home. Even though I came back to Utah on the weekends throughout the tour, those days were always filled with the chaos of laundry and administrative work that made it impossible to relax. I think Coco summed it up nicely last Friday morning after she had been home for about 18 hours from the kennel. We'd picked her up late Thursday afternoon, and she was understandably happy to see us, but it wasn't until the next morning when we let her out of her crate and she realized she was still at home that she began what would end up being a thirty-minute crying jag. On and off the bed she jumped, and then back and forth between our room and Leta's room she charged with the speed of a rocket, and the whole time this distressed, ear-piercing wheeze came out of her mouth, HAAAAYYEEEEEE HAAAAYYEEEEEE HAAAAYYEEEEEE, to express her disbelief. It's like she was so filled with joy that the only way she could communicate the magnitude of it was to cry inconsolably. I knew exactly how she felt, minus the desire to walk into the bathroom and eat whatever was in the toilet.
Chuck sat silently at the foot of our bed watching the blur of her body whip between rooms. It looked like he was watching a tennis match. At one point Jon seized Coco and tried helplessly to calm her down, and Chuck just stared at him without an ounce of sympathy. I imagine that if I had just been forced to sleep with her inside a cage for six straight nights that I would have been feeling just like Chuck in that moment, like how much can you people take? No really, how much? Because all we need is a box and some tape, and we can send her back. Poke some holes in the top, she'll be fine. I didn't have a camera on me that morning, but I can confirm that Chuck was absolutely adorable sitting there plotting Coco's mysterious disappearance.
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FM Living
Erika said:
You look great - keep napping and eating 'well'. It seems to be doing wonders! :)
04.13.09 - 03:24 PM / 1tammy said:
I'm glad your back and have a chance to settle in for awhile before life gets interesting in a few months
I loved reading your interview on aol today
and I have been "caged" for a year and a half from medical issues so I know how coco feels being able to be free lol
04.13.09 - 03:27 PM / 2Margie said:
You made me laugh, thanks.
04.13.09 - 03:29 PM / 3grace said:
Our family dog did the exact same thing the first time we picked her up from a kennel. (The same very trustworthy place we had taken her for training classes.) She acted like we punished her and cried for HOURS after we picked her up. My mom felt so guilty she never boarded her again and we always arranged to have people look after her while we were away. She was a border collie... I wonder if it's another one of those psycho herding-breed behaviors that make them so lovably neurotic: cannot stand to be kept from regular family-herding/yard-guarding activities.
04.13.09 - 03:31 PM / 4Anonymous said:
Great to have you "back", Heather!!! Time for some relaxation and unwinding. Only 10 weeks left! (Maybe less?!)
04.13.09 - 03:32 PM / 5jill said:
Adorable... that's what you are!
04.13.09 - 03:34 PM / 6BellyGirl said:
Is it just me or do you look SUPER tiny for 31 weeks??
04.13.09 - 03:36 PM / 7Daddy Scratches said:
I just realized that I'm totally looking forward to baby's arrival.
As a parent of two children and no dogs, I'm anxious to see how you guys handle the hand grenade that is about to go off in your lives. It's an explosion mostly comprising happiness, but it is an explosion nonetheless.
Glad you made it through the book tour. Hope you get to take it easy from now until you cross the finish line.
04.13.09 - 03:37 PM / 8NMmama said:
You look beautiful! Welcome home!
04.13.09 - 03:37 PM / 9Molly said:
Heather, you look gorgeous.
04.13.09 - 03:40 PM / 10beyond said:
you look wonderful. i think cupcakes are good for all women, pregnant or not. now and forever. cupcakes here i come.
04.13.09 - 03:42 PM / 11Tania said:
You look great, hope your healthy pregnancy continues!
04.13.09 - 03:42 PM / 12insane mother of three said:
WOOOOO HOOOOO you're home! I realy hope that means regular posts! I have missed your wit and charm while you were touring. You look fantastic BTW and I could only dream to have looked so good during my three pregnancies!
04.13.09 - 03:42 PM / 13Kate said:
You look happy and healthy; enjoy those cupcakes and other treats. As I recall, the rate of weight gain does slow down in the last trimester even though that doesn't make any sense scientifically. Ahhh, what the heck. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy these days at home with hubbie, Leta, and those wonderful dogs.
04.13.09 - 03:42 PM / 14Samtastic said:
that happened to me too! once i started eating fast food at least once a day EVERY DAY i stopped gaining as much!
also - you are absolutely gorgeous!
04.13.09 - 03:45 PM / 15valerie said:
Aww you look great! Keep it up with the cupcakes.
We started crating our beagle recently after she started crapping in the floor while we were out, and also when my fiance was in the shower, every morning, before work.
Now when we come home and let her out, she tear-asses around the house like she'd been in there for days and we were never coming to let her out again. She also blatantly disregards the person who actually opened the crate and greets the person who was slowly wandering into the house.
04.13.09 - 03:46 PM / 16Anonymous said:
I'm sorry but why must you always talk about your weight. it works it's way into nearly every post. Eat don't eat, who cares?
04.13.09 - 03:47 PM / 17jeen-marie said:
You look great! Over Easter we had a family discussion about your traveling during your last few months. The women thought you were crazy and men had no clue what we were talking about! Glad you are safe at home!
I sympathize about the weight gain... During my pregnancy, I gained something like 40 pounds! I asked the doctor how was that possible- I barely ate and what did eat I THREW UP!
She just looked at me AND laughed! I was like NO REALLY? PLEASE explain!!
04.13.09 - 03:49 PM / 18Manda said:
Beautiful belly.
Awesome story.
Glad you're home and feelin' the love.
04.13.09 - 03:50 PM / 19Aisha said:
haha... I remember plotting mysterious disappearances for my siblings. It always involved Jim Henson's Labyrinth coming true, though. And, quite honestly, if anyone was going to be growing up with the goblin king, it was going to be me.
04.13.09 - 03:51 PM / 20Charlie Hills said:
I'm bummed I missed you in Austin last week. Had it on the calendar and everything, but sometimes real life just gets in the way. Guess you can stop and see me when I'm on a book tour in your neck of the woods. :)
04.13.09 - 03:54 PM / 21Sandi said:
You look amazing! I truly could kick the shit out of you. I delivered my last baby at 30 weeks and I was a whale! I delivered a 4 pound baby and walked out of the hospital 3 pounds lighter. You'd think the damn placenta would weigh something!
Seriously, you look amazing!
04.13.09 - 03:54 PM / 22Mothering Two said:
sometimes, i think doctors just feel the need to say something to continue establishing their position of authority, like, "hey, don't forget, I'M TAKING CARE OF YOU." 'cuz you know, its easy to forget about them! You look great, mama, and i'm so happy to read the pregnancy is moving along healthfully. :)
04.13.09 - 03:55 PM / 23Sundance Kid said:
You look beautimus and the story about the dogs was hilarious! What characters!
04.13.09 - 03:56 PM / 24Charity Donovan said:
OMG...I delivered my quadruplets at 30 weeks & 2 days...I cannot believe I was "supposed" to look like that!?!?!?! So amazing...I looked like that at around 16 weeks! Thanks for posting this Heather! It was crazy to get a real perspective! You look amazing girlfriend! By the way, you were HILARIOUS on Oprah! Loved it & Congrats...I've been reading your blog forever & you REALLY deserve the success!!
04.13.09 - 03:57 PM / 25StuffMomsWant said:
When pregnant with my youngest son I used to take a nap during the afternoon while my older boy slept. When I woke up I would get out my GIANT bag of powdered sugar donuts and eat those and drink glass of milk. Did this just about every day. When I got gestational diabetes and was wondering to my friend how that could have happened, she said "How about all those freaking donuts you ate?" Oh, yeah... But they were soooo good.
04.13.09 - 03:58 PM / 26Michelle said:
You look great! Thanks again for making a stop in LA. I was at your signing at Book Soup and you were SO NICE! I was a little intimidated because I felt pressured to say something witty - but alas, nothing witty came to mind at that moment...oh well. Rest up for baby!
04.13.09 - 04:00 PM / 27reddirtroad said:
Oh, glad you're home. When I was pregnant, I gained most of my weight within the first 6 months so lets hope that's the case with you too.
04.13.09 - 04:00 PM / 28Serial said:
The fact that you people can live with Coco has helped me through many, many moments at which I'm sure I otherwise would have skinned my 8 month old heeler mix.
Seriously, if it weren't for me thinking, "Heather can do this, I can do this, Heather can do this, I can do this ... " I would have shown up at one of your readings with a pot of Puppy Stew for you to chow down on, as well.
I think she'd be proper tasty.
04.13.09 - 04:04 PM / 29moggit girls said:
We love Chuck. He is one cool 'doode'.
04.13.09 - 04:04 PM / 30