30 weeks
Last week marked my 30th week of pregnancy (tomorrow marks week 31), so I had Jon snap this photo last Wednesday night in Austin at our hotel room a few hours after the book signing:
Friday morning I had an appointment with my OBGYN who made a point of telling me that she was much more pleased with this month's weight gain, a surprisingly low three pounds, than with my weight gain throughout the rest of my pregnancy. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. Internet, I have been eating room service and airplane peanuts for three straight weeks. Readers brought me doughnuts and rice krispie treats and enormous chocolate cupcakes, and I ate all of it. Plus, I slept like total crap. I'm surprised the scale did not start screaming when it saw me waddling down that hallway.
Whereas in the months before my book tour I was much more careful about the quality and quantity of food I put into my mouth and maintained a three-to-four day a week workout schedule, and every time they weighed me it was all ARMSTRONG, THAT'S ANOTHER TWELVE POUNDS. So she can sit there and wave her finger at me and tell me to lay off the potato chips, but come on! Those numbers don't lie! I gained less weight by eating more sugar! That's called science! It was my body's way of saying HEY HEATHER! WE NEED MORE CUPCAKES!
I don't know if I can find the words to describe just how happy I am to be home. Even though I came back to Utah on the weekends throughout the tour, those days were always filled with the chaos of laundry and administrative work that made it impossible to relax. I think Coco summed it up nicely last Friday morning after she had been home for about 18 hours from the kennel. We'd picked her up late Thursday afternoon, and she was understandably happy to see us, but it wasn't until the next morning when we let her out of her crate and she realized she was still at home that she began what would end up being a thirty-minute crying jag. On and off the bed she jumped, and then back and forth between our room and Leta's room she charged with the speed of a rocket, and the whole time this distressed, ear-piercing wheeze came out of her mouth, HAAAAYYEEEEEE HAAAAYYEEEEEE HAAAAYYEEEEEE, to express her disbelief. It's like she was so filled with joy that the only way she could communicate the magnitude of it was to cry inconsolably. I knew exactly how she felt, minus the desire to walk into the bathroom and eat whatever was in the toilet.
Chuck sat silently at the foot of our bed watching the blur of her body whip between rooms. It looked like he was watching a tennis match. At one point Jon seized Coco and tried helplessly to calm her down, and Chuck just stared at him without an ounce of sympathy. I imagine that if I had just been forced to sleep with her inside a cage for six straight nights that I would have been feeling just like Chuck in that moment, like how much can you people take? No really, how much? Because all we need is a box and some tape, and we can send her back. Poke some holes in the top, she'll be fine. I didn't have a camera on me that morning, but I can confirm that Chuck was absolutely adorable sitting there plotting Coco's mysterious disappearance.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. Erika said:
You look great - keep napping and eating 'well'. It seems to be doing wonders! :)
2. tammy said:
I'm glad your back and have a chance to settle in for awhile before life gets interesting in a few months
I loved reading your interview on aol today
and I have been "caged" for a year and a half from medical issues so I know how coco feels being able to be free lol
3. Margie said:
You made me laugh, thanks.
4. grace said:
Our family dog did the exact same thing the first time we picked her up from a kennel. (The same very trustworthy place we had taken her for training classes.) She acted like we punished her and cried for HOURS after we picked her up. My mom felt so guilty she never boarded her again and we always arranged to have people look after her while we were away. She was a border collie... I wonder if it's another one of those psycho herding-breed behaviors that make them so lovably neurotic: cannot stand to be kept from regular family-herding/yard-guarding activities.
5. Anonymous said:
Great to have you "back", Heather!!! Time for some relaxation and unwinding. Only 10 weeks left! (Maybe less?!)
6. jill said:
Adorable... that's what you are!
7. BellyGirl said:
Is it just me or do you look SUPER tiny for 31 weeks??
8. Daddy Scratches said:
I just realized that I'm totally looking forward to baby's arrival.
As a parent of two children and no dogs, I'm anxious to see how you guys handle the hand grenade that is about to go off in your lives. It's an explosion mostly comprising happiness, but it is an explosion nonetheless.
Glad you made it through the book tour. Hope you get to take it easy from now until you cross the finish line.
9. NMmama said:
You look beautiful! Welcome home!
10. Molly said:
Heather, you look gorgeous.
11. beyond said:
you look wonderful. i think cupcakes are good for all women, pregnant or not. now and forever. cupcakes here i come.
12. Tania said:
You look great, hope your healthy pregnancy continues!
13. insane mother of three said:
WOOOOO HOOOOO you're home! I realy hope that means regular posts! I have missed your wit and charm while you were touring. You look fantastic BTW and I could only dream to have looked so good during my three pregnancies!
14. Kate said:
You look happy and healthy; enjoy those cupcakes and other treats. As I recall, the rate of weight gain does slow down in the last trimester even though that doesn't make any sense scientifically. Ahhh, what the heck. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy these days at home with hubbie, Leta, and those wonderful dogs.
15. Samtastic said:
that happened to me too! once i started eating fast food at least once a day EVERY DAY i stopped gaining as much!
also - you are absolutely gorgeous!
16. valerie said:
Aww you look great! Keep it up with the cupcakes.
We started crating our beagle recently after she started crapping in the floor while we were out, and also when my fiance was in the shower, every morning, before work.
Now when we come home and let her out, she tear-asses around the house like she'd been in there for days and we were never coming to let her out again. She also blatantly disregards the person who actually opened the crate and greets the person who was slowly wandering into the house.
17. Anonymous said:
I'm sorry but why must you always talk about your weight. it works it's way into nearly every post. Eat don't eat, who cares?
18. jeen-marie said:
You look great! Over Easter we had a family discussion about your traveling during your last few months. The women thought you were crazy and men had no clue what we were talking about! Glad you are safe at home!
I sympathize about the weight gain... During my pregnancy, I gained something like 40 pounds! I asked the doctor how was that possible- I barely ate and what did eat I THREW UP!
She just looked at me AND laughed! I was like NO REALLY? PLEASE explain!!
19. Manda said:
Beautiful belly.
Awesome story.
Glad you're home and feelin' the love.
20. Aisha said:
haha... I remember plotting mysterious disappearances for my siblings. It always involved Jim Henson's Labyrinth coming true, though. And, quite honestly, if anyone was going to be growing up with the goblin king, it was going to be me.
21. Charlie Hills said:
I'm bummed I missed you in Austin last week. Had it on the calendar and everything, but sometimes real life just gets in the way. Guess you can stop and see me when I'm on a book tour in your neck of the woods. :)
22. Sandi said:
You look amazing! I truly could kick the shit out of you. I delivered my last baby at 30 weeks and I was a whale! I delivered a 4 pound baby and walked out of the hospital 3 pounds lighter. You'd think the damn placenta would weigh something!
Seriously, you look amazing!
23. Mothering Two said:
sometimes, i think doctors just feel the need to say something to continue establishing their position of authority, like, "hey, don't forget, I'M TAKING CARE OF YOU." 'cuz you know, its easy to forget about them! You look great, mama, and i'm so happy to read the pregnancy is moving along healthfully. :)
24. Sundance Kid said:
You look beautimus and the story about the dogs was hilarious! What characters!
25. Charity Donovan said:
OMG...I delivered my quadruplets at 30 weeks & 2 days...I cannot believe I was "supposed" to look like that!?!?!?! So amazing...I looked like that at around 16 weeks! Thanks for posting this Heather! It was crazy to get a real perspective! You look amazing girlfriend! By the way, you were HILARIOUS on Oprah! Loved it & Congrats...I've been reading your blog forever & you REALLY deserve the success!!
26. StuffMomsWant said:
When pregnant with my youngest son I used to take a nap during the afternoon while my older boy slept. When I woke up I would get out my GIANT bag of powdered sugar donuts and eat those and drink glass of milk. Did this just about every day. When I got gestational diabetes and was wondering to my friend how that could have happened, she said "How about all those freaking donuts you ate?" Oh, yeah... But they were soooo good.
27. Michelle said:
You look great! Thanks again for making a stop in LA. I was at your signing at Book Soup and you were SO NICE! I was a little intimidated because I felt pressured to say something witty - but alas, nothing witty came to mind at that moment...oh well. Rest up for baby!
28. reddirtroad said:
Oh, glad you're home. When I was pregnant, I gained most of my weight within the first 6 months so lets hope that's the case with you too.
29. Serial said:
The fact that you people can live with Coco has helped me through many, many moments at which I'm sure I otherwise would have skinned my 8 month old heeler mix.
Seriously, if it weren't for me thinking, "Heather can do this, I can do this, Heather can do this, I can do this ... " I would have shown up at one of your readings with a pot of Puppy Stew for you to chow down on, as well.
I think she'd be proper tasty.
30. moggit girls said:
We love Chuck. He is one cool 'doode'.
31. Kristan said:
Aww! I wish I could have witnessed Coco's craziness, but I do sympathize with Chuck. Man oh man is he gonna have words for you when that baby is born...
"WOMAN, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? HOW COULD YOU BRING ANOTHER ONE HOME?!"
32. StuffCooksWant said:
The all-sugar weight aloss diet...I'll try it. Starting now. No, I'm not pregnant...why do you ask?
33. Jennifer W. said:
You look gorgeous. I can't see one extra pound hanging around anywhere. Next time your doctor (or anyone else) says something about your weight you should feel free to channel Cartman and shout "Whateva! It's my hot body, I'll do what I want!"
34. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I used to have a German Shepherd mix who would become so excited by our arrival home from work that he would sing/yodel to us: "Hoooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooooo!"
Now, with cats, I don't get the same kind of blissed-out, idiotic greetings. Mostly, I get four faces staring at me as if to say "Where you been, bitch, and how quickly can you top off these food bowls?"
35. Katrin said:
I grew up in Europe and I'm used to traveling a lot. I go really stir crazy if I don't get to go away somewhere every few months--it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy, even just a visit upstate will do. My husband loves to tease me about this (what a princess I am bla bla bla) but it's just the way I'm wired. Too long in the suburbs and I start to feel my soul is dying.
But really, the very best part of traveling is ALWAYS the coming home part. Everything looks different when you've been away, even for a night. I live so fervently in my imagination, I often need to be reminded to live in the moment and enjoy what I have.
Home sweet home... sweeter when you've been gone.
36. Anonymous said:
You look absolutely fabulous on the front page of AOL today. whoohooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
37. Michael F. said:
Heather, I believe Chuck is much smarter than you think. If he were plotting to do away with "that awful dog" you'd never see it coming, and he wouldn't leave any finger, or in this case, paw prints behind. That's how he rolls. Congratulations on the tour, and of course, the reason for touring, the book.
38. Masha K said:
Heather, you look great! The look on your is perfect for the story, like you're telling Coco, "I can't wait to introduce you to this little one, and see your head implode into little marshmallows when you try to figure out how to keep track of one more human."
I have a toxic Eastern European metabolism that lets me eat gigantic French eclairs for lunch (like, a pound of cream in each one, gross, right?) and not feel a thing. It's a metabolism raised on salted pork fat (which we eat on bread) and butter. When I tried to be a vegetarian in college (under tree-hugger peer pressure) and ate a lot of salads, I grew a pooch and arm fat. It's like my body didn't know what spinach was and flat-out refused to process it. I didn't last as a vegetarian very long.
39. Casey said:
Seriously, Heather, if you believe cupcakes will do right by you through the end of your pregnancy, I will be happy to provide them. Cream-filled if you prefer. Not kidding.
Besides, does your practice factor in the lurve that went into those rice krispy treats and chocolate cupcakes? To be filled with that kind of karma...well, I bet that offset 25% of their calories. (And, please, taking off and putting on your shoes at security, as described by you, is quite a workout, lady!)
40. Shnerfle said:
I can't believe Chuck didn't stick a paw out and trip her. That would have been awesome.
BTW, you look fantastic. By 30 weeks, I had my own zip code and a landing strip on my ass.
41. Tanyetta said:
You look AMAZING!
42. Dumblond said:
You look great for 30 weeks!
43. jimaiemarie said:
you look AMAZING for 30wks...omg, me at 30 wks?? SO not a pretty sight. I THOUGHT I looked ok, the 2nd time around but after seeing this picture of you? yeahhh, not so much. Thanks for that ;D
WELCOME HOME!
44. Blushing Hostess said:
I admire your stamina to travel so widely at this point. I too ate a lot and a wide array of oddities during this recent pregnancy and I was concerned about what would happen afterwards. I was back in my jeans two weeks later - the second great little thing that happened to remind me to pay no mind to the exhaustion. Be well, The Hostess
45. Anonymous said:
Wow! You are front page on AOL.
Congrat's!
46. Christian said:
You look beautiful! I am so glad things are going well for you - the book, the pregnancy. You are a wonderful person who gives so much (helping us moms more than you know, as I always say). I am glad you get some time at home to relax.
47. Amy said:
I think you're onto something Heather... my diet consists of sugar, sugar, some cheese and bread, but then usually more sugar and I can't put on weight! Everyone has been telling me that I am withering away but I can't do anything about it!
You look gorgeous!
48. Lanna Lee Maheux-Quinn said:
I think you look tiny too! Eat more cupcakes! You look fabulous.
I finished reading your book last week - beautiful. I'm trying to get pregnant right now, your book does give me pause! Ha.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your honesty and humor - honesty with humor - is a gift.
49. Christy said:
Hilarious post Heather!! I wish I could have been at your LA book signing. Thanks for the laughs today. BTW - you look absolutely fantastic. I know this may sound a little stalker-ish, but I took a pic of you into my hairstylist this weekend so I could copy your cut. I LOVE it! (I was so bored with my hair and couldn't explain your cut as well - so I brought your pic with me). Turns out she is one of your readers too and she knew of and loved your posts. Who knows - you may be the next Jennifer Aniston of the hairstyling world. heheheheh!! Thanks for the cool hair!
50. Milla said:
i need to try this sugar diet. also, love the B&W. it almost gives you markings like coco's. ;-)
51. Michele said:
Heather,
I'm glad you are home too. And, I can understand Cocoa totally. Chuck is Chuck, or course.
52. Lara said:
I envy your minimal weight gain. I gained a literal ton with each of my four children. You look absolutely gorgeous.
Damn it.
53. Katie said:
You look great! Keep eating the cupcakes!
54. Robyn D said:
You look amazing, as usual!
My AIM always pops up an aol.com ticker... and your face was there to greet me this morning! You amaze me! I've been reading since 2003 and I love seeing things work out so well for you.
Great work, lady!
Robyn
55. Amy said:
I'm so glad you ate the doughnuts! Mine were the ones from Voodoo doughnuts, with the Cap'n Crunch and the Oreos and peanut butter drizzle. I had a card all written out, but completely forgot to give it to you - it said how Voodoo was famous in Portland, but that you probably wouldn't have had a chance to go there during your short visit. It also said that I'd be hungry after signing all those books, so I figured you'd appreciate them. Glad they helped your diet!
56. Mari said:
It's great that you were home in time for a beautiful weekend. You look fantastic, too!
57. G said:
You look beeauuuuutifulllllll!! :)
58. Quincy said:
Love the black and white photo. Maybe I should try that, maybe just maybe it will make my 26 week belly look smaller. Imagine being 5'3" and pregnant. My first child and my 6'1" friend's first child were exactly the same height and weight and I was like life is so unfair. I couldn't breath for four months and your child was doing somersaults while mine stuck her feet up my throat!
59. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said:
I think your Coco and my Hank are related. My dog does the exact same crying when he's gone for longer than a day, and he also has the exact same inexplicable desire to eat whatever's in our toilet.
Which is a marked improvement from his puppyhood desire to eat his poop, the cats' poop, other dogs' poop, AND whatever was in our toilet.
Lookin' good at 30 weeks!
60. Dee said:
I wanted to comment on your last picture but you didn't allow comments. You look so beautiful in these shots...So natural and just all baby. Gorgeous!
61. Melissa said:
Damn, I wish sugar had that effect on me! I gain 5 pounds every time I LOOK at sweets. ;o)
You look great!
62. Mandi said:
You look amazing. I gained 55 pounds with both my pregnancies. Fortunately my doctor was an understanding soul. I had preemies both times, they weighed five pounds each. I went home five pounds lighter each time. But...but...what about the placenta? And the water? and the 15 hours of labor? I should have lost 20 pounds at least!
Anyway. Enjoy the next ten weeks. The heartburn will make it sooo much fun...
63. Domestic Goddess said:
Dood. You look freaking awesome for 30 weeks. I was a hippo.
64. Sadie said:
Heather,
I just discovered your site recently - through the Oprah show.. and I am already a fan! you are fabulously smart and funny, I love your wit and sense of humor!
you look adorable in your pregnancy picture! may God continue to Bless you and your family!!
Sadie
65. Alison (aka Cluck and Tweet) said:
Forty-three years ago my mom, as observant as she was (and obviously quite hungry), decided that the smartest children she knew had mothers who had gained a lot of weight when they were pregnant. Apparently she gained a lot of weight with me. I'm just sayin'.
66. Staci said:
great photo! glad you are home from the tour and able to relax for a while. i love chuck! he is my favorite "famous" dog. ;)
67. Katya said:
Congratualtions on being home. It was weird but I was looking forward for you to be home too, the tour was wrecking havoc on my morning internet routine. :)
Is there an "essence a la congressman bucklesworth" you can bottle? I want my future/prospective dog to be as cool as he is.
68. Beverly from Memphis said:
Heather, I think you may a eaten a lot, but, you probably burned up a lot of energy performing at the book signings. You were great on oprah.....I am reading your book and very proud of you with your honesty, and integrating humor into what must have been beyond description....but, you are telling it for yourself and for all those who feel that hell...
69. Sarah said:
I'm almost 28 weeks and your belly looks smaller than mine and I've only gained 17 pounds. You look great! However much weight you've gained, it isn't much. Keep the Twinkies and cupcakes rollin! That's what I say anyway.
70. Emily S said:
I'm 28 weeks and no one ever weighs me at my check ups! I feel massive though. I think I've put on about 8kgs (I lost a lot of weight first from morning sickness). Props to you for working through your 3rd trimester. I can barely roll out of bed. You look fab.
71. Anonymous said:
I think weight gain in pregnancy is completely arbitrary. You know what I craved whille I was pregnant? Salad. I'm normaly a very healthy eater and that didn't change when I got pregnant but I still wound up gaining 45 pounds.
When I got home for the Dr's appt where she told me I was gaining too much I climbed in bed and cried for 2 hours straight and then off and on for another 3. My poor husband didn't know what to do.
I say eat what you want. You'll loose it eventually. Viva La Cupcake!
72. Pregnancy Test said:
Your pic is great. I came here from Oprah's show and i like the site and i like your posts. I will be following you!! :)
73. Janiene said:
It was great meeting you in Austin! I have to say that you at 30 weeks was me at about 14 weeks....not fair! You look amazing, your energy and attitude are contagious, and no worries if your having any after pregnancy body fears...like a promised you in Austin, I'll have a Shrinkx Belt waiting for you, so your hips are taken care of!
(Don't forget to send me your size)
Hugs from Austin!
74. Jacqueline said:
You're soooo photogenic or it's your hubby's fine picture taking skills... You look fabulous! Major twit and blog fan! Saw you on the Today show also...
75. Mary Jo said:
I can't believe you are at 30 weeks already, honestly it seems like you just made the announcement. For that matter it seems like you just had Leta too... time flies.
76. sunny said:
I know how Coco feels. During crazy - insane - crazy weeks, I'll sometimes wake up on a free day and cannot believe I am at home and can stay at home ALL DAY if I want to. Makes me wanna cry.
77. Hayley said:
You look so good! Whatever weight you've gained has avoided sticking to your face and ass and all that. It's all gone to your belly!
It must be your unborn child telling you, "Mom, I NEED CUPCAKES IN ORDER TO SURVIVE." So keep it up!!
78. mp3gain said:
I missed your visit to Denver because i was outside USA. In fact i am not back in the US. Do you will continue with your tour?
79. Becky said:
You look so great! Now that you're home, you and Jon can reconnect and relax a bit as you help get Leta ready for Princess Armstrong's arrival. Leta is going to be a great big sis! Chuck and Coco? Not sure if they are ready for any of it.... but I am sure they are glad their Mama is HOME! Relax! Eat more cupcakes! :)
80. Kathleen said:
You look great and I can't believe you're already in the home stretch of your pregnancy.
I'm surprised that you ate all the baked goods provided by readers at your book signings. Seriously, Heather. There are so many crazy nut jobs out there who send you hate mail every day! Razor blades and arsenic...
Be careful!
81. Val C. said:
I just started reading your blog - love it! I love your writing. You are hilarious.
Oh p.s. you look great at 31 weeks!
82. Dominique James said:
Just found your blog not too long ago...I've been checking it out from time to time. My husband and I are photographers so I've been enjoying your daily photos. Congrats on your 3 pounds ;) and your weird dog.
83. Michelle said:
They think you've been gaining TOO MUCH weight? Woman, even 30 weeks pregnant you look skinny to me.
84. Annah Rey Cash said:
I first visited your website today (saw it on Oprah) and no lie have been on for like three hours straight, you are so funny, even when your talking about nothing:) Love your website and how you just cuss whenever you feel like it! Ill probably come to your website everyday now. You make me want to start a website. My god you posted this what in the past half hour already 75 comments? I wish I was that popular haha. You probably wont read this but thats fine, and yes I am related to Johnny Cash, go ahead laugh!
85. leesavee said:
I totally sympathize. Your description of how Coco shreiks around the house is exactly how I feel if I've been away for too long. So glad everyone's back home. It's time for you to nest, girlfriend!
86. Robin said:
Hearing stories about Coco makes me want to go adopt a puppy. :)
87. - trv - said:
You look great! My wife got to go see you at Book People, and since she forgot her (amazon pre-ordered birthday present) copy of the book, we also supported the bookseller. :)
88. Helen Tarnation said:
Heather--You look wonderful for 30 weeks.
And I would so love to have a clone of Chuck....I already have 3 cats, so he'd fit right in!
89. Whitney said:
Beautiful.
90. Diane Potter said:
I have to say that as a mother who adopted - I actually LOST weight during my 'pregnancy'. The people at Weight Watchers were slightly concerned as I'd weigh in and people in line who knew me would ask - "Do you know the sex of the baby yet? How far along is the baby now? When is the due date?" People would really look concerned as I'd weigh in and answer questions. Not once did someone ask me how far along I was or when I was due- you had to really be paying attention to know I wasn't pregnant.
However - you look amazing and I commend you for the schedule you're keeping while carrying another human inside you!
91. Mandi said:
yay for being home. You look effing awesome at 30 weeks! Thanks for sharing your belly pics with us.
92. Stacy said:
Heather, you look amazing...just gorgeous.
93. MamaCass said:
You look divine, pregnant lady...no matter the weight gain. I say keep with the cupcakes. That way, when she's three and begging you for more junk food, you can assure her you stocked her belly full in utero and end the discussion right there.
94. Kristi said:
I think you look awesome! Before I even read this I was thinking "she does this pregnancy stuff well".
I had a doctor who made a snarky comment about me gaining my first 5 pounds after 5 months of pregnancy...like as if I was HUGE or something. I said "screw you lady" and I'm getting a midwife!! (the kind that lets you go to the hospital and still have drugs if you want them)
That's a true story...except for saying "screw you lady". I actually just cried when I left and my husband in a fumbling manner said...we'll get you a midwife...we'll get you a midwife!!!!!!!!!
95. Ally said:
Heather, I bought your book the day it came out. I had so much fun reading it and wished i would have made it down to Austin for your book signing. I can not relate to your mommy stories since i have no kids, but I love to read them! super funny. However I have two dogs and relate well with those stories for sure.
My family watches my two dogs when i go out of town. I have a chuck and a Coco (personality wise) and one of them misses me so much (the chuck) that she hides under things where no one can find her. And she won't come out for treats, key shaking, nothing... They call me cursing her at bed time saying they don't know if she is inside or out or if she has peed or pood at all... Of course she would never run away so I am not worried. When they do find her and make her go poddy, she is such a bitch whereas she typically is the sweat heart of the two. But she basically doesnt come out till she hears my voice when i get back... It pisses everone off. I think its enduring that I am so loved and missed.
96. s0aar said:
I don't know if anyone has said this before, or if you've read harry potter, but the way you describe the relationship between Chuck and Coco reminds me very much of Hedwig and Pigwidgeion. Every time you wrote an anecdote about Chuck and Coco, I always thought it reminded me of something, and I finally figured it out today =]
97. Wild Dingo said:
I'm pretty sure the world would be a better place if we all had more cupcakes. We all need more cupcakes.
98. meredith said:
Your butt is the smallest pregnant butt in the land....
99. Amazing Greis said:
You look AWESOME!!!!
100. PB Rippey/sleepless mama said:
Hm. I wonder if the sugar inhalation diet works for mothers breastfeeding 17 month olds, as well? I suppose I'd better not try--but I'm tempted. Such a good read, Heather! Your descriptions are priceless.
101. Student said:
My body is screaming for cupcakes too. And I am not even pregnant.
102. Anita Ovolina said:
I had the same thing happen with my fifth pregnancy. I tried to watch my calories exercise and eat in moderation and then boom the week I gave up I only gained one pound.
Although I did have a pregnant butt I must say ...yours looks very tiny :)
103. geekmom said:
If I fed my body everything it screamed for then I would look nowhere near as good as you do. When you find out what the secret is please do share.
104. Katie B. said:
I just saw you in Seattle and you looked *amazing*. Almost made me not afraid to be pregnant. You are an inspiration and I am always looking for a good reason to eat more cupcakes.
105. Christina said:
Chuck makes me want a dog so bad...but Coco reminds me that you just never know what you're going to get.
You look fantastic. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and with the new little one. ♥
106. Jessie said:
Lookin really good!
107. Nicci said:
It's so true. My sister-in-law calls it "The Cupcake Diet". Everytime she eats nothing but chips and cokes and cupcakes she dropps like 5-10 pounds. Bitch. LOL!
108. hi kooky said:
I heart Chuck (and Coco too, bless her nervous little soul). You look fabulous!
109. MamaLana said:
You deserve to eat all the cupcakes you want; thank you for bearing the children. Without you, our population growth would crash! You are lovely and your dogs are hilarious.
110. It'sME! said:
Hey, saw you on AOL front page!! I was stoked to see you on there. I've been reading dooce.com for years now. Love it!
111. Anonymous said:
#26- eating donuts does not cause gestational diabetes. It may aggravate it, but will NOT cause it.
112. MommaKiss said:
So. Your 30what week belly? It's really damn cute. I was way huger at - oh - 20ish weeks. I do not do pregnancy well. I grow mega fast and mega big.
I'm only trying to tell you that you look fantastic. And I hope your inbox stopped looking like a cheezberger.
113. anna said:
I wish I had a similar photo when I was pregnant. I sometimes ask my husband to take a picture but I can't seem to like it.
I also didn't thought of having a black and white picture taken. I guess black and white pictures work well with pregnant women.
114. Laura said:
I know my friend and I are both excited for the new "bean" to arrive. Please have someone post pictures as soon he or she has come.
115. devon said:
A HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Ahhhh, I love it when I come home from a total crapper of a day and I suddenly decide to check my Dooce and lo and behold I find myself laughing so raucously that there is no sound, just joke.
Thanks, doocey. You ma' pal. =)
Lots of love from Denvah -
Devon
116. Maya said:
You must really find truly overweight people to be repugnant. Seriously you are 30 weeks pregnant and you look like a pregnant stick. Get the f over yourself and stop fishing for compliments.
117. Katie said:
Wow, you look tiny at 30 weeks! I gained 40+ pounds with each of my pregnancies, so I don't think I ever saw a month with a 3 pound weight gain! Bodies are weird. I went all the way through the holidays/winter and was the same size all along. Now, suddenly within the last month, everything is tight. I don't think I've changed anything. . . . weird!
118. mdog said:
Your initial description of Coco crying with joy made me tear up - herding dogs are so wonderful. But then as I read on, I started laughing hysterically, which, combined with the crying, made me choke...and pee my pants a little.
That's a lot of bodily functions you managed to fuck up with one little blog entry. I guess I will move "It Sucked and Then I Cried" into the bathroom and protect our nice couch from the inevitable.
119. jstar said:
honey, that was me at 17 weeks. i unfortunately birthed a 10 lb 15oz-er and it was mooooooooo-alert. i just developed some pregnancy pics today so i could memorialize the size of myself. you'll have a nice normal sized baby and it won't hurt as much!!
120. Jocey said:
Your description of Coco's antics and Chuck's response made me laugh until I cried.
I hope someday you'll come to Minneapolis, both for selfish reasons (I would love to hear you read your work and get your autograph) and for wholly altruistic ones (there is a local cafe that makes delicious cupcakes with wonderful, evocative names like Paris Hilton and Global Warming, and I think you would find much to delight you there).
121. jen smith }i{ said:
Hm, our metabolisms must be built opposite because I ate everything in sight with all three of my pregnancies and gained around 60lbs with all of them. Separately. As in, 60lbs, EACH PREGNANCY. It was just lovely to work it all off after they were born.
I'm glad you're finally able to get back home and rest. I don't know how you did it in those cute shoes. My friends and I saw you in Denver. It was my first reading/book signing ever but I thought you were fabulous. I was going to buy your book later but decided to get it that night when you were done. Your honesty and your way with words gives me confidence in my own thoughts as a woman and mom. Thank you.
When you talked about putting Coco in a box and poking some holes on top, it reminded me of a hilarious Family Guy episode. I hope you don't mind if I send you this link, I don't think I've ever replayed a clip as much, or laughed as hard when I first saw it:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/19404/family-guy-bullfrog
122. Beverly said:
You're a beautiful expecting mom! Goodluck!
123. Rachael W said:
I second all those people who said they don't know how you have the stamina to travel at this point in your pregnancy. I love traveling, but hate being on planes. Three hours is about my limit before I start pressing my eyeballs up against the plane map (you know, the one where the plane moves 1/16th of an inch every four hours) and muttering, "Why aren't we there yet?"
Hooray for the cupcake diet!
124. Y said:
Maybe the baby only eats the sugary stuff and left the healthy stuff as dead weight. Obviously I know nothing about pregnancy. =P
125. Wacky Mommy said:
You look gorgeous, Ms. Gorgeous. Keep up the good work.
ps -- Wacky Dog, our late fat lab, used to do the same crazy-happy cry whenever we boarded him, too. Or left him at the vet for the day. Or with grandma for a few hours. Or after he got a pedi & ear clean at the dog spa. Crazy dogs.
126. One Piece Of My Life said:
Nice earrings.
127. Britte said:
It's amazing how fast that pregnancy seems to have gone. Well, for us, the readers, anyway. I'm sure you have a MUCH different point of view on how long the pregnancy seems to have lasted.
Also, I really needed that laugh about Coco. It's amazing how the stupid things dogs do can make someone smile. Example: this morning my dog woke up, farted on my pillow, then greeted me with a giant, sloppy kiss on the cheek. It was so adorable to see how happy he was that I couldn't be mad at him for farting on my pillow.
128. Natalie said:
Wow! Suddenly feeling a lot better about the 49kgs of chocolate I've consumed this weekend. Science you say?
129. wheezer345@hotmail.com said:
Welcome home! Thanks again for visiting us in the great north west here in Seattle! It was wonderfull to see you in person, hope to see you again. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.
130. Amanda Brumfield said:
So proud of you and happy for you guys. Makes me tear up. Love you girl.
131. I'm free said:
Wow. I really want to become father. Actually, do you guys know any technique to conceive baby girl or baby boy?
132. Dawn said:
Welcome home. Here, have a cupcake.
133. Mango Girl said:
There is such beauty in being pregnant ~ you epitomize this statement!
Welcome HOME!
134. Brat said:
Ok, I have to admit, I must have been living under a rock for the last God knows how long because I just this week discovered your blog compliments of Twitter. Ya, I'm a lil slow. Glad I found this though, you've given me something to laugh at besides myself. Thank you.
This entry reminded me of our dogs when we returned from a week-long out of state 'trip' a few weeks ago.. Both of our outside dogs whined, cried and carried on until they were lavished with more attention than necessary.. Ironically, it didn't really do much for either of them, but it sort of "soothed" us a little.
135. SheyFey said:
The fact that CoCo can talk does not surprise me at all. It is the breed. They must make themselves known.
I think Chuck is secretly In Love with CoCo.
BTW, You look great for your 3rd Trimester!
136. Rachel said:
I was the same way when I was pregnant! I gained 14 pounds between month 3 and month 4 and my doctor got all up on my case about it. I didn't punch her, miraculously. But I did stop eating anything that even pretended to be healthy and spent the last 5 months of my pregnancy eating Ben & Jerry's, buffalo chicken strips, ice chips, and green olives. And I never gained more than 3 pounds between appointments after I started the Stoner Diet. :-)
Happy 31 weeks!
(hahahahahahaaaaaa my reCaptcha is "anonymous sucks")
137. Shana said:
I've just recently found your blog. I'm hooked!
Just wanted to say that I totally relate on the weight gain thing - even though I'm not preggers. I recently returned from vacation where we ate out 14 times. I never wanted to eat another fried piece of food again and was so anxious to step on the scale as I normally watch what I eat. No weight gain! What the what? Believe me, I was overjoiced. Very weird - but in a good weird way. :)
Glad you are home. :)
138. Jen said:
Yes, the whole weight gain thing is a mystery to me too. After having three, I always had some month where I would gain 10 pounds and it seem to come sooner and sooner with each pregnancy. Glad you are home! Now rest and enjoy slowing down before the babe arrives!
139. Birdie23 said:
Hey ya look great! you just shine! Out of all my doggies, Taj is the only one who comes out of his crate with dignity, sorta like an English gentlemen. "where's my tea and oh is it raining?" the rest are fricken hellions,down the hall at the rate of the Indy 500, around the sofa,slide across the dinning room, zip through the kitchen out the back door.
140. Therese said:
Heather, you are very adorable, with your almost impish smile, and your sweet belly, and your cute earrings.
141. sevedra said:
You look fantastic. Don't let the doctor bug you about weight. Just ignore that part and eat what feels right and excersize as much as feels comfortable.
I am sssoooo glad you are finally home. I know I don't know you, but I worried about you traveling so much while pregnant and exhausted. And I am so glad you are back with your family. I miss my family too much when I am away for just a little while. I can't imagine the pain of being on the road so much.
142. Rich Morey said:
I just came across your blog through a link from John Nack's blog (http://blogs.adobe.com/jnack/2009/04/mo_friday_photos.html). Your writing is terrific as is your photography! And your dogs are so beautiful.. I love the photos and captions of Chuck and Coco.
143. Tanzie said:
...just reading the title of this post made me smile!
144. Janie said:
Hey Heather, you look just wonderful. I can't WAIT for the new little one to be born. (Hey people have warned you that having 2 kids doesn't double the work but at LEAST triples it haven't they?)
Anyway, I've recently lost over hundred pounds and I'll tell you that what happened to your weight is pretty typical...we call it the shakeup. I'm sure there is a scientific reason for it to be true or NOT be true, but I can only speak from much experience.
Lots of my weight loss buddies and I can plug along losing 1 lb this week, maybe 2 the next, nothing earthshattering. Then you'll go away for a few days and eat junk food and change your routine and you lose 5 lbs. It's just something about changing your eating as well as your daily exercise--the walking around doing things exercise not the workouts--that seems to shake things up and cause a loss.
There are actually diet/eating plans based on the concept of shaking things up periodically to encourage loss.
145. Sara said:
Nice article on AOL. My mom called me in a frantic and said, "Your friend, Heather Armstrong, was on AOL!" I was racking my brain trying to think where I had heard the name before but couldn't put my finger on which friend she was talking about. Then it dawned on me. I told her the 'blog' I had been reading for years is now super famous and you weren't someone I personally knew. ha! You and I do have lots in common...daughters both born in 02/2004 and problems with post partum and depression/anxiety in general. I will tell you, it is easier the 2nd (and 3rd for me) time.
Since you know what to expect and even when you feel it coming on (I did) you can talk yourself out of it and realize it is just your body going back to normal. Good luck. You are super cool and I am so happy for you with the success of your blog.
-- Sara
146. Hannah said:
We all need more cupcakes in our life.
147. christelpistol said:
so glad you liked the cupcakes. it was wonderful to meet you.
148. Mommy X said:
Will you ever come to Canada? Sad to hear that they still give peanuts out on planes...maybe they should give cupcakes!!!
149. @manda said:
30 WEEKS PREGNANT!?!?!?
YOU LOOK AMAZING!
CONGRATS!
150. P-Rick said:
I've been reading your blog for a few years now and never commented once, but I saw somethig at work the other day that made me think of you. I monitor the nervous system of patients who undergoing brain or spine surgery. So when a neurosurgeon is putting screws in someone's back, taking a disc out of someone's neck, or cutting a tumor out of someone's brain, I'm there to make sure the surgeon doesn't fuck up. A few days ago, our patient was a 25 yr. old lady who was in the exact same stage of pregnancy as you, and she had a wicked tumor growing in the middle of her spine. I've been doing this job for several years now, which mens I've seen hundreds of surgeries, and I've NEVER once had a pregnant patient! Apparently, putting an expecting mother under general anesthesia is a bad thing for the fetus. However, the neurosurgeon told me, "If mommy here ever wants a chance to walk with her daughter, we have to get that tumor out TODAY!" Long story short, they got out as much of the tumor as they could, but the patient was in pretty bad shape when she woke up. I'm not trying to freak you out, just letting you appreciate that awkward waddle to the bathroom scale (which sounds pretty fucked up). So even though this pregnancy can beat you down sometimes, keep your chin up....
151. Parsing Nonsense said:
Traveling sounds like fun and games until you get home and realize how much you were secretly dying inside for your bed/pillow/creaky floorboards/giant mysterious vines creeping over the side of your house like a silent green thriller flick.
Congrats on making it to (almost) week 31, you're looking great. Pregnancy weight is so weird, isn't it? Maybe the baby is tired too from all the jet-setting and has been squirreling away all those cupcake calories until such time as she can pop a rom-com into the DVD player and go to town.
152. Kristin said:
You look seriously AMAZING! I was way more large and in charge at just 15 weeks.
153. Paring Nonsense said:
Wow P-Rick, that is a pretty disturbing story. There's nothing like someone's inoperable spine tumor to make you appreciate your discomfort!
154. DJ-Kelly-Kell-Kell said:
I gained so much weight during both of my pregnancies that it's what keeps me from having a third. My second is almost one and I've been fighting off the weight this entire time, still have 18 pounds to go! After loosing 22. Yeah, pregnant me = Artie Lange. Fo real.
155. Beth said:
Welcome home! BTW, you look GREAT for 30 weeks. It must be all the sugar.
156. Monkey said:
That's pretty much my dog whenever we're gone for a few hours. She whines and shakes, and I have to hold her big ass and tell her it's okay and "no, I'm not angry that you decided to show your angst by shitting in three different places. Frankly, I'm amazed you could hold it all the 10 times we let you out before we left."
Ah, isn't great owning a dog?
157. Anonymous said:
do you have a deep seeded need for the whole world to tell you that you are beautiful? why? you are so stuck on yourself it is gross. and your blog sucks any more-that is why you did not win shit in austin-and the other cool woman-the REAL woman from the ranch did. get over yourself-you are irrelevant and your book is boring.
ps-your chin looks like a weapon in this photo.
158. Maria from NJ said:
You look as beautiful as always.
Maria
(OMG and exactly what redwood tree does #157 have rammed up her/his ass??)
159. Shannon said:
I'm so happy to see your comments open! I just love your blog and your stories of Chuck and Coco remind me so much of my own kooky dog. Good luck with the next 10 weeks!
160. Maggie said:
Gorgeous! I think women never look so beautiful as when they are very pregnant!
161. zelzee said:
I don't know about you, but that is the first doctor's scale I like!
Mine always weighs me at least 5 pounds heavier.......(in my opinion)
162. Leigh said:
Ice cream works that way for me. I swear I can eat as much as I want to and not gain an ounce. I think it's because it just melts right through!
Keep up whatever it is you're doing...you look awesome!
163. Chanel said:
looking good! i disagree with Leigh: I ate ice cream almost every night for a month and gained like ten pounds :(
164. Anonymous said:
You look beautiful! I had the same weight gain pattern you seem to be experiencing with my first pregnancy. I gained almost 40 lbs in the second trimester. In the third, despite gorging, only 10. WTF? Pregnancy is truly a time when one has very little control over one's body!
165. Anonymous said:
That's a cute shirt, where did you get it?
166. Debbie said:
I finished the book and loved it! when I opened the main
page of AOL yesterday and saw you looking back at me I
thought "YOU GO GIRL" ! Heather enjoy everyday that you
have you so deserve it!
167. d3 voiceworks said:
oh my doG what a great coco story. too cute!
same goes for your sugar consumption (and your bump!). I hear ya, sister. and that's why my little emilio (lio)--born 030709--likes his milk!
so sorry i'll miss you at kings english; i'm headed to calif today. more family meets lio!
168. RachelB said:
Congratulations!
I really enjoy your writing. Keep up the amazing work.
169. Julia said:
You do look wonderful.
I found week 30 in both pregancies the most ' flattering' out of all.
Then all gets a bit too heavy...
170. Mari said:
You look fantastic. I hope I look as good when I'm 30 weeks pregnant (some day). Love the Coco & Chuck stories. Chuck is my kind of dog.
171. Reality Rounds said:
As a nurse working in L&D and the NICU, I would say you look fantastic and healthy. I gained a pound a week for 40 weeks for both pregnancies. Did not matter what I ate, how I ate, or when I ate.
172. Claire said:
You look gorgeous! Keep up with the cupcakes, you can't argue with science.
173. Ev said:
Heather, You look great no matter what. I want to know about the farting machine. What did that consist of??
174. Kitty said:
Cupcakes are an international treasure and the secret to everything! You look lovely!!!
175. AnonyMouseFan said:
Heather, you look great! And I just wanted to tell you that your pregnancy is going by really fast for me. So, I'll try to keep that up as you go into the home stretch. I'm sure you'll enjoy this time as a family of three (five) though. However, I also know you'll enjoy having an itty-bitty again and will be so much more relaxed since you've done this before.
176. Lisa said:
More CUPCAKES. Totally. But I am not pregnant and three pounds a month would not be as cute.
177. Katie said:
You're so lovely!
178. Bolsa de Trabajo said:
Very pretty and You look great.
179. smoochgirl said:
hey hottie! those cupcakes have done wonders for your complexion. love the top, love the earrings. i hope to look as fabulous as you next time i have a bun in my oven.
i enjoy your blurbs, as they make me smile and sometimes laugh out loud. like today. the coco story is classic and i can totally picture her with chuck standing by!
keep on eating those cupcakes. :)
180. heather said:
Alright, there's a warm molten chocolate cake waiting for you at The Paris tomorrow. Come visit. We have lots-o-sugar awaiting you and your next satisfactory OBGYN appointment.
181. Robbie said:
Heather, you look wonderful! I have a Coco, too. She's not quite as big as your Coco...2.5lbs. Chihuahua. I enjoyed watching you on Oprah. You were very inspiring.
182. SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said:
Somehow I thought I might see a Chuck photo with an Easter egg balanced on his head. Darn.
183. jane said:
At 30 weeks last pregnancy I actually *lost* weight from the previous visit - because I had been on a strict gestational diabetes diet. My doctor questioned me on losing weight, but since I was following the nutritionist's diet plan she couldn't say much. I think our bodies just gain more some months than others, and one person may gain the most weight in months 4 & 5, someone else might gain the most in 7 & 8. Most of what our bodies are actually doing during pregnancy is a total mystery.
184. Anonymous said:
First off, you look fabulous.
About the weight thing: In my first two pregnancies, I exercised a LOT (I was military and took military exercise classes) and was careful about what I ate. I gained 50 lbs each time.
This time, I have not exercised a lick due to intense contractions every time I try. I'm sorta careful about what I eat, but not obsessive the way I was. I'm 33 weeks and have gained 12 lbs. Now, where is the logic in that? There is none.
185. Megan said:
God, what is wrong with all the anonymous haters commenting here? Especially the "your chin looks like a weapon" comment. Heather, you have a lovely strong featured face. Don't let nameless, faceless retards tell you different.
186. JP said:
Funny...that's how my sister felt about my brothers for many years when we were younger. Although, she didn't care about the conditions of sending them back. Box or otherwise.
187. renee' d. said:
You look bea-u-ti-ful!
Was there at the Seatlle book signing - it was great!
188. Jumps Bond said:
30 weeks into your pregnancy and you still look great!
190. Jamie Watson said:
That was so much fun to read! I smiled the whole time.
191. fat mum slim said:
I don't know how you did it, and still stayed sane AND only gained a little weight.
You MUST be wonder woman?
192. Tina said:
Hi Heather:
I have been waiting for a post to comment this!
Your book was incredible. I read it in three days. You are my hero.
193. Dee said:
Drat I missed you in NYC. Although glad to know you are back home safe, would have loved to have seen you, as they say, in the flesh.
194. Proxor said:
Funny and entertaining article.
Thanks for sharing!
195. Lauren said:
I'm not even pregnant and could happily eat a scabby horse and put on 20 stone. We can't all be heroes.
You look great. MILF much?
196. Hazel said:
That's great. My husband was just away for 10 days. Our yellow lab is a daddy's girl and when he came home she was almost airborne with delight.
Good luck with your baby. I remember painting and ripping down a bar in our new house when I was 8 months. Tiring.
197. Geri said:
BEAUTIFUL. We are one (or two) weeks closer to meeting the new Armstrong!
198. Splat! said:
Well congratulations on all your successes and good health!
I miss my dogs manic puppy behavior. I know it seems impossible but she will mellow out as she ages!
199. www.AngelHeadbands.com said:
That makes me thing uncomfortable thoughts and back pain. We would love to send you a baby gift.
Let us know
200. Traci said:
3 words, Beverly Hill's Bakery. 902 E Logan (1610 s). Tons of chocolate and good stuff, even some gluten free items.
201. lilfootsmommy said:
You are looking MAHHHH-VEL-OUS!!!! :)
202. momomatic said:
Dude! I looked like that when I was *12* weeks pregnant! You look awesome--keep up the good work! ;)
203. Robyn said:
Anomynous 157 - YOU DON'T LIKE HER - DON'T READ HER!!!ONLY A SELF LOATHING INDIVIDUAL WOULD BOTHER TO CONTINUALLY READ AND FOLLOW THEN COMMENT NEGATIVELY ON A SITE THAT SOOOOO MANY THOUSANDS OF OTHERS ENJOY.
I DON'T COMMENT ON THESE BUT WHOEVER YOU ARE - GET A LIFE!
Ever heard of a thing called "Karma"? Someday your hatred will come back to bite you on the butt - if it hasn't already many times over.
204. BOSSY said:
Welcome home.
205. Schmutzie said:
You look fabulous there, Cupcake. Can I call you Cupcake?
206. KiwiJess said:
Who knew more sugar was the key. I'll have to try that.
And can I just say I want to be Chuck when I grow up. So cool...
207. sibhusky2 said:
I scanned through the comments and didn't find any references to pet sitting so forgive me if I missed one. I am a pet sitter and its the BEST way to have your dogs cared for while you are gone. The dogs are in their own environment (not to mention you have a built-it house sitter, too) and as time goes on, the dogs begin to actually look forward to seeing the pet sitter (if you have a good one!) Most of us have references so you can be sure to get someone you can trust. The more times you go, the more accustomed to the pet sitter the dogs will become and therefore, more comfortable with you being away. I would love to offer to be interviewed for the job, but I live in St. George! Ask your vet, groomer, pet food store, etc for references or check the yellow pages. Be SURE to ask for references or just ask around among your pet-owning friends. Breeders know good pet sitters, too. Realize, of course, that Coco will always have her little "welcome home dance, " being who she is! Good luck.
"Aunt Kate" to my many "nieces and nephews"
208. E-Lo said:
You look absolutely beautiful. I can't wait to see this kid and hear what you and Jon agree on for a name... I really like " Lunestracide." Or "Fart Panic." All good suggestions. Although I'm surprised that Jon didn't suggest "Nambu." :)
209. Lilli said:
@ 17. Anonymous said: "I'm sorry but why must you always talk about your weight. it works it's way into nearly every post. Eat don't eat, who cares?"
Because she's pregnant, and so she's writing about her pregnancy. Because this is her blog. During a pregnancy you gain weight, and it's not always very comfortable. Everyone but you cares. Actually, you care, too, but you just don't want to admit it.
210. Missey said:
I think that only your family could handle a do a special as Coco.
And, although you may feel huge, you look fantastic. Have a Toblerone.
211. Missey said:
I meant "dog", not "do". I'm special too!
212. Ray said:
You’re looking great at 30 weeks!! And I guess you can say that Dorothy was right when she told Toto, “There’s no place like home.” ;o)
Take, care.
213. toramomma said:
Congrats on the end of the book tour, may your wandering feet always find the right path. :) Home is everything Simon and Garfunkel said it would be. I wish you strength love and peace in the last trimester, and that your family goes on smoothly with the arrival of the newest neurotic Armstrong.
On the serious side, damn woman, could you maybe talk about anything *but* how much weight you have gained or how crappy you eat? No wonder this society is obsessed with how we look and how much we weigh...every other post is about how fat you feel and how many Doritos you can cram in you mouth while still maintaining eye contact with the box of doughnuts on the counter. Yeah, you are pregnant, but you are growing a human being. Did you think that no one would be able to tell from the outside?! I've often thought that the more a woman moans about her weight and looks (pregnant or not), the more insecure she must be if she goes to that length to fish for compliments. You are skinny, you are pregnant, you can quit bemoaning your stint as Shamu.
All courtesy of an overweight mother of three who can finally accept what she sees in the mirror and is losing weight at a healthy pace.
Tora
214. Professional Critic said:
I heart Coco! She makes me feel better about my own animals' neurotic shennanigans.
215. Kori said:
Holy crap, you look beautiful! I always looked and felt like a bloated cow at that point in my pregnancies. Keep eating whatever you want!
216. lesismore said:
i had a dream last night i was helping you with your kitchen remodel...like five years ago.
i think it was just the two of us. i don't remember seeing jon. all the details are fuzzy but the one thing i remember was a jar of m&ms.
my subconscious must have been missing you since i finished reading your book and you haven't posted much during your tour. i've missed reading you. it's like when a friend goes on vacation to some foreign place and can't use their cell phone and there's only shaky internet at some hole-in-the-wall cafe that costs way too much so you don't talk for that whole time they're gone and you just miss them.
good thing you're back so you don't have internet weirdos having any more strange dreams about you.
217. Faithstwin said:
I have nothing to say about the pregnancy nor how you look. I just want to say the amount of idiotic response here makes me want to puke. Please don't open comments on shit like this in the future.
People: you sound like complete asshats.
218. Christine said:
I soooooo wish I had taken more belly pics when I was pregnant. I certainly did not look as fab as you, but at least if I had taken them I'd have more than just stretch marks to show for the 74 weeks I incubated my angels! You look amazing - and amazingly refreshed for being on a multiple week long haul.
219. Kampanye Damai Pemilu Indonesia 2009 said:
Glad I stumbled into this article! I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.
220. C said:
I don't understand why people would spend the time to write a comment on someones blog JUST so they can be nasty and full of hatred. Must be awful to be those people.
Heather, you look great!!
221. winecat said:
Wow, 30 weeks how did that happen? You look spectacular! Especially after the book tour. it's going to be difficult to wait another 10 weeks for baby Dooce to arrive.
And I totally understand Coco's behavior, for a year and a half I commuted back and forth from San Francisco to NY. 3 weeks there, 2 weeks home, 2 weeks there, 4 days home, etc.
I ran through the house just like she did every time I came home. My only problem was my body clock was hung up over Chicago for about a year afterward.
222. winecat said:
Dear 157 and 217 if you don't like the blog or the comments don't read them. That's why you (supposedly) have a brain. I have never been able to understand people like you. "I hate your blog, I hate you, I hate the people who comment" but you still keep reading.
Dear 203 RIGHT ON!
224. Suat Duman said:
hi
you look beatiful.
congratulate
225. XOXO said:
Heather, I cannot thank you enough for the joy you bring. You are a precious thing and I have to hate you a little bit for being so incredibly lovely while pregnant.
In addition, simply be glad that Coco is visible. Our 4-legged demon is only five inches tall, so when she goes rocketing around, she's just as likely to end up under your foot as out the back door.
lovelovelove!
226. Jen said:
Great to have you back and blogging from home. I noticed the pet sitter comment making you feel guilty for sending your dogs to a kennel. Not everyone wants random strange people living in their homes while they are away. The dogs survived and seem like they are doing quite well.
227. Kelly Marsh said:
I'm with ya Heather! I just had an appointment yesterday and I gained 8 lbs in just three weeks (I will be 31 weeks on Friday). At the beginning of my pregnancy when I was eating like a maniac it was 4 lbs in a month. Now that I'm trying to actually watch what I eat it's 8 lbs in 3 weeks?! My Dr. said, "Cut out the sugar: cakes, candy, donuts, etc." To which I replied, "Yeah, I'm not eating that crap! Tell me what to do!!" My doc went from, "I'm concerned about your weight gain!" to "Don't worry - everything's fine!" WTF?!?!
228. Lilli said:
@ 213. "Did you think that no one would be able to tell from the outside?! I've often thought that the more a woman moans about her weight and looks (pregnant or not), the more insecure she must be if she goes to that length to fish for compliments."
I'm always surprised when people jump to the "fishing for compliments!" assumption, but it's probably because those people do it themselves, so they assume that's everyone else's motivation for speaking about their life. Often, a person's perception about something says more about them than it does anyone else. I can't speak for Heather, but anyone should be able to talk about their life and how they feel because that's their life and how they feel- it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with other people's perceptions. Yes, the comments are open, but it doesn't = fishing for compliments.
229. Meg said:
For the record, you look smaller than me and I am at 24 weeks. My doctor keeps telling me I have not gained anough weight, so I think you are damned if you do damned if you don't. This is my first pregnancy and I would have cried everyday and stayed in bed if it hadn't been for your dry wit and unapologetic humor.
230. Sully said:
Aww heather, you look beautiful! I cannot wait until I get to be like that. Sadly, I never made it to that point in my pregnancy. Your little ones will be so loved!
231. Robbie said:
To 157, 213, and 217: I don't understand what makes a person want to use their words to hurt, instead uplift and motivate another. Wow, I just don't get the point. Freedom/Responsibility...Hummm
232. heather said:
I bought that t-shirt from the gap after you raved about it, and now i'm pregnant - I think you willed this to happen!!! You look gorgeous and I hope I look as good when i'm that far along. (PS: #2 for me too). :)
233. sibhusky2 said:
To #126
Just a suggestion - no guilt intended.
234. Rose said:
Hello Heather,
I just found your site and have not gotten any work done in 2 days! lol Thanks for your honesty and the great photography. Chuck and Coco are my dogs' cyber twins! I really look forward to the Baby Bomb in June.
235. Rocketbride said:
doctors are insane about weight gain in pregnancy. what's the point in making you feel bad about a few (only, literally a few!) pounds over what they feel is appropriate when you're eating well and exercising? what about the women who can't keep anything down, who live on crackers and gingerale for 9 months, should we make them feel bad too? bah. my midwife told me that i didn't need to weigh myself at all if i didn't want to; as long as there wasn't an alarming wight gain (as to indicate something serious) then all was well.
all of which is to say, cupcakes are your friend. you don't turn your back on your friends when they want to make you happy. :)
236. Janie said:
Oh my God, Shnerfile you made me spit my coffee at my monitor!! I can SO see Chuck's face as he's doing that!
Heather I love your readers. They are just the funniest!
<<<<40. Shnerfle said:
I can't believe Chuck didn't stick a paw out and trip her. That would have been awesome. >>>
237. Janie said:
Woah Faithstwin! Jealous much?
Just for the hell of it, I took a look at your blog....I won't be back.
I'm sure it's interesting to some, but to this 'Asshat', it has neither the wit nor the charm that Heather's site possesses in spades!
>>>217. Faithstwin said: I have nothing to say about the pregnancy nor how you look. I just want to say the amount of idiotic response here makes me want to puke. Please don't open comments on shit like this in the future.
People: you sound like complete asshats.<<<<
238. Jen said:
You look fantastic for 30 weeks. I think I looked like that at 9 weeks pregnant.
239. asshat number 12 said:
i was just surprised to hear how often people eat really badly during a pregnancy. does a high fat, high sugar diet affect the baby negatively, or does it magically get processed into wonderful nutrients for the child?
240. Wild Dingo said:
HA! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the comment about your chin looking like a weapon! I don't think I would write anything so negative to anyone I thought had a body part that looked like a weapon. after all, you never know...it just might be! what a dork.
Personally, I judge success by the amount of "haters" people have. It's like art. If it moves you to really hate it, it's done its job as "art."
241. B.Nicole said:
I live with a dog similar to Coco. He's a mix of Australian shepherd and mutt(?). In my case, there's a spirited six-year-old here to match his energy and fire. At this moment he (the dog) and she are chasing each other from room to room. I'm not sure which one of them to put in the training crate. But to avoid child abuse charges, I'll crate the dog.
242. moremadder said:
whoa, WHOA. Your OB/GYN criticizes your weight gain? Time for a new doctor, sister. Seriously.
243. Sabrina said:
You look FABULOUS! You are one tough cookie to keep up with the book signing schedule and create life. I just took to the bed with my last pregnancy and if anyone even darkened the doorway they were informed I was busy creating life in there! I cannot wait for Leta's response when her little sister enters her life. She's so clued in to the world around her - I love it.
244. CookingSchoolConfidential.com said:
All I can say is I lost about 10 pounds so far at culinary school! And I am eating butter and sugar and fat like there is no tomorrow.
If I can figure out how this works, I am going to write a bestseller and call it the culinary school diet.
That'll show those French!
Cheers.
245. amanda said:
Thank you a million times. That's the best way I can sum up how grateful I am that you have put yourself out there as a mom via your blog. I've had so many moments with my son (my first, and probably only) in the past 7 & 1/2 months where I was convinced I could never hack it and that he knew it too. I don't have very many "mommy" friends and I felt so alone, so irrevocably changed, so different, so uncapable of taking care of this tiny, screaming, colicky person. I know how it feels to panic being left alone with a newborn with no clue how you're going to make it through ten minutes or an hour, let alone a whole day, with them howling and you're already at your wits' end.
Even more than that, I have to thank you for being honest about how hard it is over & over & over again. If more women would be honest about what it means to become a mother then maybe all of us would suffer less during the hard times because more people would actively acknowledge that THERE WILL BE HARD TIMES. Maybe the cute little euphemism "baby blues" would leave the new mom vernacular. God, I hate that term. Anyway, there will be times where you think it is crushing you and you will never escape. Then almost miraculously there is a wonderful, peaceful moment when you fall in love with your child and your heart does break wide open.
So, thanks again Heather. I really appreciate you doing what you're doing because it helps me keep my sanity intact knowing I'm not the only mom out there who feels this way.
248. Annoying unsolicited opinions person said:
I imagine that in the 246 comments preceding mine someone may have already said this, but I'm still going to say it in case they haven't: I think your doctor is nuts to be worried about your gaining "too much" weight. Here's why:
1. Preterm births are on the rise.
2. Prematurity correlates with many health complications, some very long-term or even lifelong.
3. Low-weight and underweight mothers have a much higher incidence of preterm birth than heavier moms.
This means there's far more likelihood of long-term harm to the baby from your eating too little than from your eating too much. So, please, eat when you're hungry, enjoy your food, grow that baby, and ignore your unnecessarily concerned physician.
249. Single Mom Paying Off Debt said:
You look great !! At 30 week I looked like I was carrying quads !!
250. Catherine said:
After recently seeing the article about this blog on AOL, and hearing about the book, I thought I'd take a look. BIG YAWN. Think maybe you might want to see the Oprah segment about the full time lawyer single dad raising 9 kids on his own, now THAT'S parenting! Too bad he is probably too busy to write a blog.....
251. Anonymous said:
You're the cutest pregnant lady ever.
252. Jenny said:
I forwarded your site to my boyfriend so he could read the discussion on whether or not to vaccinate children. He really enjoyed the read, but encouraged me to forward a travel tip to you, as he travels for business. If you will lace your tennis shoes very loosely and tie them so that they become slip-ons, you can avoid the hassle of bending over and maneuvering with your shoes. Hope that helps. :)
253. John said:
definitely, you look amazing for 30 weeks, the bun is almost done. keep it up!
254. Caitlyn said:
awww, you look adorable! enjoy being home!
255. Anonymous said:
WOW, ur skinny. I'm only 5'1" and I will probably become a hippo when I get pregnant. But it's normal to gain weight while exercising. You lose muscle when you don't. And it's salt that makes u gain weight. Not sugar. Plus, your metabolism goes up a little when you have sugar. My friend who has a high metabolism and is stick thin always craves sugar. I, on the other hand, crave salty foods, and gain weight easily. I also noticed when I avoided salty foods one week, and ate mostly sugary foods (but not fattening ones), I didn't gain weight. Probably, actually, lost a little, if I recall correctly. The week before, I was eating mostly non-fattening, very light, salty foods and gained weight. I remember when I was at my thinnest, I was eating and craving mostly sugary foods, especially candy, and was more active, walking, ate out ALOT and did NO exercise. Sugar gives the brain a little pick me up anyway. Almost like coffee. Warning: you may become more neurotic. But way too much sugar, in addition to other foods, is unhealthy. Gaining weight has more to do with how active you are than what you eat. Sitting at home makes you gain weight. Traveling would probably cause weight loss. As long as you do not sit around at home and continue to go out alot, expending energy, you will not gain much weight. Just keep the body moving. Keep active, even if it means spending more money. Go out more. I also noticed, when I knew I had somewhere to go every evening, I would eat less during the day, just so I could look thin in whatever nice clothing I was wearing in the evening. Some people who do go out alot and don't lose weight are probably making up for it by eating more than they should or are not being active enough when they're out or doing somehitng wrong. Keeping an active lifestyle and not staying home is the key. Don't relax your body too much, which slows down the metabolism, even when you're out. It's also good to keep a social life by dating or being around people you want to flirt with because then you have some sort of motivation to stay thin for whomever you're trying to impress or look good for. Going to clubs where you dance every night is an ESPECIALLY good way to keep the weight off, because even though you're exercising, you don't feel like it.
256. Soley Somma said:
Hi!
I am the crazy lady from Maryland who sent her friend Quinn to King's bookshop last night! I can't wait to read my very own autographed copy.
I will be at the door tomorrow stalking the FedEx truck and will not sleep until every last word is consumed. Well, there will be breaks for taking care of my 11-month-old son Dylan and kissing my husband, but I've got my priorities straight.
I've been reading your blog for years and have shared the Dooce world with many of my friends.
I'm very excited to 'meet' the new Armstrong addition. You look fantastic.
Thanks for sharing!
Soley