• http://www.verysexymen.com Dee

    Drat I missed you in NYC. Although glad to know you are back home safe, would have loved to have seen you, as they say, in the flesh.

  • http://proxy-heaven.blogspot.com/ Proxor

    Funny and entertaining article.
    Thanks for sharing!

  • http://laurenfrench.com Lauren

    I’m not even pregnant and could happily eat a scabby horse and put on 20 stone. We can’t all be heroes.

    You look great. MILF much?

  • http://www.the-clever-pup.blogspot.com Hazel

    That’s great. My husband was just away for 10 days. Our yellow lab is a daddy’s girl and when he came home she was almost airborne with delight.

    Good luck with your baby. I remember painting and ripping down a bar in our new house when I was 8 months. Tiring.

  • http://www.ohblahdah.blogspot.com Geri

    BEAUTIFUL. We are one (or two) weeks closer to meeting the new Armstrong!

  • http://marissamae.blogspot.com/ Splat!

    Well congratulations on all your successes and good health!
    I miss my dogs manic puppy behavior. I know it seems impossible but she will mellow out as she ages!

  • Traci

    3 words, Beverly Hill’s Bakery. 902 E Logan (1610 s). Tons of chocolate and good stuff, even some gluten free items.

  • http://www.lilfoot2007.wordpress.com lilfootsmommy

    You are looking MAHHHH-VEL-OUS!!!! :)

  • http://www.armchairdesign.wordpress.com momomatic

    Dude! I looked like that when I was *12* weeks pregnant! You look awesome–keep up the good work! ;)

  • http://www.msn.com Robyn

    Ever heard of a thing called “Karma”? Someday your hatred will come back to bite you on the butt – if it hasn’t already many times over.

  • http://www.iambossy.com/ BOSSY

    Welcome home.

  • http://www.schmutzie.com Schmutzie

    You look fabulous there, Cupcake. Can I call you Cupcake?

  • http://www.thekiwitree.com KiwiJess

    Who knew more sugar was the key. I’ll have to try that.

    And can I just say I want to be Chuck when I grow up. So cool…

  • sibhusky2

    I scanned through the comments and didn’t find any references to pet sitting so forgive me if I missed one. I am a pet sitter and its the BEST way to have your dogs cared for while you are gone. The dogs are in their own environment (not to mention you have a built-it house sitter, too) and as time goes on, the dogs begin to actually look forward to seeing the pet sitter (if you have a good one!) Most of us have references so you can be sure to get someone you can trust. The more times you go, the more accustomed to the pet sitter the dogs will become and therefore, more comfortable with you being away. I would love to offer to be interviewed for the job, but I live in St. George! Ask your vet, groomer, pet food store, etc for references or check the yellow pages. Be SURE to ask for references or just ask around among your pet-owning friends. Breeders know good pet sitters, too. Realize, of course, that Coco will always have her little “welcome home dance, ” being who she is! Good luck.

    “Aunt Kate” to my many “nieces and nephews”

  • http://squirrelstories.blogspot.com E-Lo

    You look absolutely beautiful. I can’t wait to see this kid and hear what you and Jon agree on for a name… I really like ” Lunestracide.” Or “Fart Panic.” All good suggestions. Although I’m surprised that Jon didn’t suggest “Nambu.” :)

  • Lilli

    @ 17. Anonymous said: “I’m sorry but why must you always talk about your weight. it works it’s way into nearly every post. Eat don’t eat, who cares?”

    Because she’s pregnant, and so she’s writing about her pregnancy. Because this is her blog. During a pregnancy you gain weight, and it’s not always very comfortable. Everyone but you cares. Actually, you care, too, but you just don’t want to admit it.

  • Missey

    I think that only your family could handle a do a special as Coco.

    And, although you may feel huge, you look fantastic. Have a Toblerone.

  • Missey

    I meant “dog”, not “do”. I’m special too!

  • http://www.xanga.com/yourfavoritecynic Ray

    You’re looking great at 30 weeks!! And I guess you can say that Dorothy was right when she told Toto, “There’s no place like home.” ;o)

    Take, care.

  • toramomma

    Congrats on the end of the book tour, may your wandering feet always find the right path. :) Home is everything Simon and Garfunkel said it would be. I wish you strength love and peace in the last trimester, and that your family goes on smoothly with the arrival of the newest neurotic Armstrong.

    On the serious side, damn woman, could you maybe talk about anything *but* how much weight you have gained or how crappy you eat? No wonder this society is obsessed with how we look and how much we weigh…every other post is about how fat you feel and how many Doritos you can cram in you mouth while still maintaining eye contact with the box of doughnuts on the counter. Yeah, you are pregnant, but you are growing a human being. Did you think that no one would be able to tell from the outside?! I’ve often thought that the more a woman moans about her weight and looks (pregnant or not), the more insecure she must be if she goes to that length to fish for compliments. You are skinny, you are pregnant, you can quit bemoaning your stint as Shamu.

    All courtesy of an overweight mother of three who can finally accept what she sees in the mirror and is losing weight at a healthy pace.


  • http://professionalcritic.blogspot.com Professional Critic

    I heart Coco! She makes me feel better about my own animals’ neurotic shennanigans.

  • http://hair4myprincess.blogspot.com Kori

    Holy crap, you look beautiful! I always looked and felt like a bloated cow at that point in my pregnancies. Keep eating whatever you want!

  • http://dardinelle.com/ lesismore

    i had a dream last night i was helping you with your kitchen remodel…like five years ago.

    i think it was just the two of us. i don’t remember seeing jon. all the details are fuzzy but the one thing i remember was a jar of m&ms.

    my subconscious must have been missing you since i finished reading your book and you haven’t posted much during your tour. i’ve missed reading you. it’s like when a friend goes on vacation to some foreign place and can’t use their cell phone and there’s only shaky internet at some hole-in-the-wall cafe that costs way too much so you don’t talk for that whole time they’re gone and you just miss them.

    good thing you’re back so you don’t have internet weirdos having any more strange dreams about you.

  • http://howdoyousay.blogspot.com Faithstwin

    I have nothing to say about the pregnancy nor how you look. I just want to say the amount of idiotic response here makes me want to puke. Please don’t open comments on shit like this in the future.

    People: you sound like complete asshats.

  • http://www.totrags.blogspot.com Christine

    I soooooo wish I had taken more belly pics when I was pregnant. I certainly did not look as fab as you, but at least if I had taken them I’d have more than just stretch marks to show for the 74 weeks I incubated my angels! You look amazing – and amazingly refreshed for being on a multiple week long haul.

  • http://tubagusrusmawan.com/ Kampanye Damai Pemilu Indonesia 2009

    Glad I stumbled into this article! I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.

  • C

    I don’t understand why people would spend the time to write a comment on someones blog JUST so they can be nasty and full of hatred. Must be awful to be those people.

    Heather, you look great!!

  • http://www.winecat.typepad.com winecat

    Wow, 30 weeks how did that happen? You look spectacular! Especially after the book tour. it’s going to be difficult to wait another 10 weeks for baby Dooce to arrive.

    And I totally understand Coco’s behavior, for a year and a half I commuted back and forth from San Francisco to NY. 3 weeks there, 2 weeks home, 2 weeks there, 4 days home, etc.

    I ran through the house just like she did every time I came home. My only problem was my body clock was hung up over Chicago for about a year afterward.

  • http://www.winecat.typepad.com winecat

    Dear 157 and 217 if you don’t like the blog or the comments don’t read them. That’s why you (supposedly) have a brain. I have never been able to understand people like you. “I hate your blog, I hate you, I hate the people who comment” but you still keep reading.

    Dear 203 RIGHT ON!

  • http://www.suatduman.com.tr Suat Duman

    you look beatiful.

  • http://youwanttohearthis.blogspot.com XOXO

    Heather, I cannot thank you enough for the joy you bring. You are a precious thing and I have to hate you a little bit for being so incredibly lovely while pregnant.
    In addition, simply be glad that Coco is visible. Our 4-legged demon is only five inches tall, so when she goes rocketing around, she’s just as likely to end up under your foot as out the back door.


  • http://www.whenpigsfly.squarespace.com Jen

    Great to have you back and blogging from home. I noticed the pet sitter comment making you feel guilty for sending your dogs to a kennel. Not everyone wants random strange people living in their homes while they are away. The dogs survived and seem like they are doing quite well.

  • Kelly Marsh

    I’m with ya Heather! I just had an appointment yesterday and I gained 8 lbs in just three weeks (I will be 31 weeks on Friday). At the beginning of my pregnancy when I was eating like a maniac it was 4 lbs in a month. Now that I’m trying to actually watch what I eat it’s 8 lbs in 3 weeks?! My Dr. said, “Cut out the sugar: cakes, candy, donuts, etc.” To which I replied, “Yeah, I’m not eating that crap! Tell me what to do!!” My doc went from, “I’m concerned about your weight gain!” to “Don’t worry – everything’s fine!” WTF?!?!

  • Lilli

    @ 213. “Did you think that no one would be able to tell from the outside?! I’ve often thought that the more a woman moans about her weight and looks (pregnant or not), the more insecure she must be if she goes to that length to fish for compliments.”

    I’m always surprised when people jump to the “fishing for compliments!” assumption, but it’s probably because those people do it themselves, so they assume that’s everyone else’s motivation for speaking about their life. Often, a person’s perception about something says more about them than it does anyone else. I can’t speak for Heather, but anyone should be able to talk about their life and how they feel because that’s their life and how they feel- it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with other people’s perceptions. Yes, the comments are open, but it doesn’t = fishing for compliments.

  • Meg

    For the record, you look smaller than me and I am at 24 weeks. My doctor keeps telling me I have not gained anough weight, so I think you are damned if you do damned if you don’t. This is my first pregnancy and I would have cried everyday and stayed in bed if it hadn’t been for your dry wit and unapologetic humor.

  • http://sullyboo.com Sully

    Aww heather, you look beautiful! I cannot wait until I get to be like that. Sadly, I never made it to that point in my pregnancy. Your little ones will be so loved!

  • http://www.coachabby.blogspot.com Robbie

    To 157, 213, and 217: I don’t understand what makes a person want to use their words to hurt, instead uplift and motivate another. Wow, I just don’t get the point. Freedom/Responsibility…Hummm

  • heather

    I bought that t-shirt from the gap after you raved about it, and now i’m pregnant – I think you willed this to happen!!! You look gorgeous and I hope I look as good when i’m that far along. (PS: #2 for me too). :)

  • sibhusky2

    To #126
    Just a suggestion – no guilt intended.

  • Rose

    Hello Heather,

    I just found your site and have not gotten any work done in 2 days! lol Thanks for your honesty and the great photography. Chuck and Coco are my dogs’ cyber twins! I really look forward to the Baby Bomb in June.

  • Rocketbride

    doctors are insane about weight gain in pregnancy. what’s the point in making you feel bad about a few (only, literally a few!) pounds over what they feel is appropriate when you’re eating well and exercising? what about the women who can’t keep anything down, who live on crackers and gingerale for 9 months, should we make them feel bad too? bah. my midwife told me that i didn’t need to weigh myself at all if i didn’t want to; as long as there wasn’t an alarming wight gain (as to indicate something serious) then all was well.

    all of which is to say, cupcakes are your friend. you don’t turn your back on your friends when they want to make you happy. :)

  • Janie

    Oh my God, Shnerfile you made me spit my coffee at my monitor!! I can SO see Chuck’s face as he’s doing that!

    Heather I love your readers. They are just the funniest!

    < <<<40. Shnerfle said:
    I can't believe Chuck didn't stick a paw out and trip her. That would have been awesome. >>>

  • Janie

    Woah Faithstwin! Jealous much?
    Just for the hell of it, I took a look at your blog….I won’t be back.
    I’m sure it’s interesting to some, but to this ‘Asshat’, it has neither the wit nor the charm that Heather’s site possesses in spades!

    >>>217. Faithstwin said: I have nothing to say about the pregnancy nor how you look. I just want to say the amount of idiotic response here makes me want to puke. Please don’t open comments on shit like this in the future.
    People: you sound like complete asshats.<<<<

  • http://redheadranting.blogspot.com/ Jen

    You look fantastic for 30 weeks. I think I looked like that at 9 weeks pregnant.

  • asshat number 12

    i was just surprised to hear how often people eat really badly during a pregnancy. does a high fat, high sugar diet affect the baby negatively, or does it magically get processed into wonderful nutrients for the child?

  • http://www.wilddingo.com Wild Dingo

    HA! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the comment about your chin looking like a weapon! I don’t think I would write anything so negative to anyone I thought had a body part that looked like a weapon. after all, you never know…it just might be! what a dork.

    Personally, I judge success by the amount of “haters” people have. It’s like art. If it moves you to really hate it, it’s done its job as “art.”

  • http://inc0rrigible.com/blog B.Nicole

    I live with a dog similar to Coco. He’s a mix of Australian shepherd and mutt(?). In my case, there’s a spirited six-year-old here to match his energy and fire. At this moment he (the dog) and she are chasing each other from room to room. I’m not sure which one of them to put in the training crate. But to avoid child abuse charges, I’ll crate the dog.

  • http://www.moremadder.blogspot.com/ moremadder

    whoa, WHOA. Your OB/GYN criticizes your weight gain? Time for a new doctor, sister. Seriously.

  • http://www.therealhousewivesofcollincounty.com Sabrina

    You look FABULOUS! You are one tough cookie to keep up with the book signing schedule and create life. I just took to the bed with my last pregnancy and if anyone even darkened the doorway they were informed I was busy creating life in there! I cannot wait for Leta’s response when her little sister enters her life. She’s so clued in to the world around her – I love it.

  • http://www.CookingSchoolConfidential.com CookingSchoolConfidential.com

    All I can say is I lost about 10 pounds so far at culinary school! And I am eating butter and sugar and fat like there is no tomorrow.

    If I can figure out how this works, I am going to write a bestseller and call it the culinary school diet.

    That’ll show those French!