• http://smartass.blogger.de Frau Klugscheisser

    Hope you’ll soon be better.

  • Elizabeth

    NOT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT, but: There is something for the thrush – you paint it on your nipples (and then they are purple – just to add to the fun) and it’s OK for baby too, will help the child not get it/get rid of it in the child’s mouth too…it’s called gentian violet. My pediatrician suggested it when I had my 2nd and I used it with my 3rd too. It’s non-prescription…I hope you don’t need it!!

  • Colleen L

    Mastitis – been there, done that… after a round of post op endometritis that bought me a hospital admission w/a 104.5 temp, multiple IV antibiotics, and a hypothermia blanket for 3 days – definitely not fun and despite the fact that my issue occurred 25 years ago (next month) I still feel your pain. You’ve received a lot of unsolicited advice here – all of it valid for the folks that offered it, so I won’t add to the confusion. Just wanted to let you know that my breasts ache on your behalf, and I wish you a speedy return to health. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Anna

    Go back to bed and rest! I’ve been “lucky” enough to have mastitis five times so I defintely know how much it sucks. Take Marlo to bed and hang out there until you feel better, rest and antibiotics work wonders.

  • jennifer

    “Giggles, balloons and pony rides”, I died laughing!

    Whenever shitty times are happening I like to say that it’s all, “Rainbows and buttercups and gumdrops and kittens!” That usually gets the point across.

    Have fun, um, nursing your own boobs back to health.

  • http://www.decorscout.wordpress.com Decorscout

    Funny thing is life never gets less full of details that need to get done….only more. Parenting. The gift that keeps on giving :)

    Just wanted to give a heads up that my shopping blog is giving away an adorable kids lamps (though it could go anywhere). IF you like free stuff you can check it out here:

  • http://www.swedishpankakes.blogspot.com SwedishPankakes

    Rebecca over at Girls Gone Child had mastitis too awhile back. Really makes me want to re-think the whole having-kids-and-then-letting-them-feed-on-me thing.

  • Anonymous

    I had mastitis with my second child as well….it was hell I hope you are feeling better soon! Marlo looks so sweet, congratulations on making your family even more complete.

  • Amanda

    I agree with Hokie Deb(300)!

    The main reason I enjoy your blog is because you twist and turn unpleasant experiences into something to smile about. Even if I feel bad for you I feel okay laughing along with you because I know you are strong enough to see the humor in it. I admire your voice and am glad to say that I’m a fan.

    Congratulations on baby Marlo, that’s a beautiful name.

  • http://podunkposh.blogspot.com/ cari

    i love the masthead.. i think you should keep it up …

  • Anonymous

    Ha. I know some of your other comments mention this, but I just knew it had to be mastitis before I got to the part where you told us it was. On my parents dairy farm the cows would get it, and we would have to separate the milk from the teet so it wouldn’t get in the milk people drink. I didn’t know people could get it, but I guess I don’t see why not. My dad used to try to gross us kids out by calling cottage cheese mastitis.

    So it goes.

    (PS. I do hope you are feeling better)

  • Martha

    Honestly I didn’t even notice that the masthead was not changed. I have heard that everytime you give birth a little bit of your brain leaks out with all the other leakage. After four babies I think it’s safe to say that most of my brain is gone. I am amazed my kids are fed, bathed, dressed, and educated!!

  • Erin

    Heather, I really feel for you and the last thing you need is to be harrassed by your own readers. There’s lots of other juicy stuff on the web to distract them until you get back on your feet. Hope you feel better soon – I’ve said it before – we’ll be here when you’re ready!

  • http://thismommysjourney.blogspot.com Jessica

    Dear Dooce,

    I love you! You can make me laugh about anything. Glad you’re doing better.

  • http://www.bitfolky.com/Bitfolky%20Designs/Home.html Jill W.

    OUCH. I’ll never forget how much that hurts. 3rd time around I used the homeopathic Phytolacca and, seriously, 30 mins later, red streaking, devil PAIN, urge to vomit, GONE. Amazing stuff.

    Am so glad you’re feeling better. It’s amazing we even get through those first few weeks…or years…

    much loves and healing viberinos.

  • Lisa B in Seattle

    Ouch! Poor Heather!

  • Jo

    The MastHead-Complainer-Man is a total loser who has no comprehension of jokes. You should block him.

  • marianne

    After you finish with the masthead, I heard Obama needs help with the economy.

  • http://jackietaylorsblog.blogspot.com Jackie

    Hope you feel better soon.

    Anyone complaining hasn’t had a baby, or been around a new born for longer then 5mins. Rest, and take care of your family. We’ll still be here to read when you feel better.

  • http://deartucker.blogspot.com Carrie

    You just don’t get a break, do you?

  • martha

    TO #273

    Really?? Really?? You are going to shoot off your mouth like that and not even have the balls to post your name?? Nice. Get over yourself. Family and health should always come first. Deal with the current masthead.

  • Haven Einstein-Arthur

    I hope you are feeling better. I wanted to let you know that your blog is one of the highlights of my ultra exciting life as a stay at home mom of a 3 year old girl and a almost 2 year old boy. Congrats on Marlo.

  • KT

    What a bunch of complete idiots…I certainly hope none of the masthead nazis are parents. Just finding the time to use the bathroom is a major accomplishment having a newborn around. Hope you’re feeling better quickly!

  • http://www.repliderium.com repliderium.com

    THE MASTHEAD??? WTF????? Gee- I guess we should have all assumed that it was your NUMBER 1 priority.
    Christ on a stick, people are stupid. (please leave the ciggie one up- if only to infuriate the masses. (Maybe add a bottle of bourbon)

  • Anonymous

    Aw. (: You’re so witty. And yes, please get to it. It’s unbalancing my entire life. I can no longer sleep at night because of it. Ha.

  • Amanda B

    A hot pad helps. One of the microwavable kind. My daughter helped clear the clog after I had a hot pack on the boob. It’s so gross, but it helped so much.

  • tara

    Have I ever told you how awesome you are? You are so awesome. Why do I love reading everything you write? LOVE IT. AWESOME. You are an inspiration!

  • http://www.mygiggloki.wordpress.com giggloki

    Aww poor boobs. You have my sympathy.

  • Alice

    Mastitis is the WORST! I had it with my first, I really thought I was dieing! And my sister in law just had it and as a result got this horrible abscess on the bottom of her breast, it was so awful.
    Hope that you avoid that particular nastiness and that you feel better soon. Rest and drugs. And spine punches for people who offer you cold cabbage leaves.

  • http://mirindadawe.wordpress.com Mirinda

    Oh Lord, I had mastitis with my second baby (or 3rd? no clue) and it’s the only time in my life I was convinced I was going to die. I thought some weird infection from the hospital was killing me. Thankfully, it was just my boob.

    Hope you are feeling better ASAP :)

  • http://www.whoahgirl.com Anne

    haha seriously people have been complaining about the mast head? I noticed it was still June but was like “Oh yeah, she has a NEWBORN BABY!” The Internet is an amazing place, seriously.

    And thanks to your tweet about mastitis I’ve learned another new thing about the joy of pregnancy and having children. I swear another 10 years till I consider kids. :P

    Hope you feel better soon though. <3

  • Meloni

    Girl, don’t you worry about that stupid man or those stupid 11 or so people who have no life and no sympathy! They are all just jealous that you get to stay at home with your cute hubby and your gorgeous girls. Like one commenter said, get rested, get better and we will all still be here just waiting to see what you say next! Love ya girl!

  • Raychil

    I got mastitis with my first son and over engorgement(sp?) with my second son, which turned into mastitis… it sucks so bad, I get the comment to Jon about I think I’m dying, I said that to my husband about the blocked ducts, he said it couldn’t be that bad stop complaining, ya know what my first son did…(on accident) ran head first into his balls…He litterally fell to the floor crying… Ya know what I did…. I looked down at him, picked up my son and said, it kind of feels like that actually… and walked away… I got a huge hug and kiss later… lol.

  • http://crimsonandclover.typepad.com Megan@Blueberry Scones

    I second the cabbage leaves suggestion, and ice, ice baby. (Ice, ice!)

    I hope it works out for you – that HURTS.

  • http://37pence.org Lauren

    Hi, guys! I think Zac Efron is totally doable, too!!

    Oh Heather, you know that you’re totally not joking!

    And I’m surprised that you didn’t get several thousand e-mails complaining of the dangers of smoking to your unborn child the second you posted that photo.

  • http://www.bebojoblog.blogspot.com/ bebojo

    I absolutely feel your pain. I nursed two babes for 14 months each and had a ridiculous share of mastitis.
    If you can get your hands on a product called Bio-K do so. It is one of the only ‘proven’ probiotics to survive stomach acids and actually do what it is supposed to.
    Hope you have a speedy recovery.

  • Meagan D

    I can’t believe people are really emailing you about the masthead, they must be the people that have never actually given birth.

    Keep up the good work, I personally am surprised that we are even seeing actual posts from you. I know that if I were in your shoes, I would be taking advantage of getting in yet another 2 hour nap.

    Hope that you feel better soon.

  • Anonymous

    well i guess i can see where the masthead emails come from; this *is* your main source of revenue/business (no?), and if you’re half as smart a businesswoman as you appear, i would have thought you’d have prepared for your maternity leave. would it have been difficult to prepare a masthead well in advance of your daughter’s birth, then upload it or have your technologically savvy husband/business partner do it for you on 1 july? (i ask sincerely because i don’t know what it entails, but as a semi intelligent person, it would appear to not be too difficult a process of changing out mastheads).

  • http://thecruisefamily.blogspot.com/ Angie

    Wow…not surprisingly, the masses are unsympathetic to a new mother! Take your time on the new masthead. You deserve a break! Yikes! Mastitis, I luckily never had the pleasure of knowing that pain, I hear it’s awful. Feel better soon!

  • Dharma

    dood – screw Mr. Not-So-Funny and leave the damn masthead up until Marlo is 6 years old…you know, when you start putting whole sentences together again and your boobs are not exploding like Russian missiles off your chest in the wee hours of the morning….

    take care of you,

  • http://www.karenmaehr.blogspot.com karen

    I was actually hoping you’d keep that masthead for July too because it is so great … and I bought stock in the company that makes Donettes as soon as I saw it. Just slap a firecracker on it, keep the whiners happy. Let Grammy write all the posts until Christmas, Chuck can take his own picture by now. Heck, just put a webcam on Chuck — you’re golden. Take care of yourself, Dooce.

    Hope you feel better soon. I don’t know how you do it all — seriously.

  • Kheenan

    If you include every month all over your masthead then can they complain that you have every month listed?

  • http://www.happinessontap.com Elizabeth_K

    Oh I loved all the sunshine and sleepiness and beautiful babies coming from this site recently, and I’m so sorry it was stopped for even a day by horrid terrible pain. Take care of yourself, and so proud and excited of/by you and your family! You guys are doing awesome.

  • http://finleysplustwo.blogspot.com Raina

    Hey Heather, I’m so sorry you got mastitis. I would only wish that on my WORST enemy! LOL That is worse than childbirth/C-section and any other thing imaginable. Get to feeling better.

  • Anonymous

    more bad news – to prevent thrush you also need to avoid all sugar and gluten (no donuts!) Glad to hear you are on the mend. I am sure Marlo is too!

  • http://www.moggit.com moggit girls

    Mastitis. Another thing our mothers never warned us about.

  • Miss Priss

    Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke! Enjoy that babeh!!!

  • http://www.cuteybaby.com beth_cuteybaby

    I am glad you are doing better after the antibiotics!

  • darcy

    as a nineteen year old reader, i think i’m caught somewhere in between high school musical and that senile world where sarcasm is dead, but i’ve enjoyed reading dooce.com for the past four years, and still do! don’t worry, your nonchalance is the best part of the whole thing. sorry to hear you’re feeling so awful- don’t worry about updating, just get well and spend time with your family! speaking of the rest of the gang, send a hello to lou- i’m a big fan.

  • http://www.shamelesslysassy.com Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy

    I’m personally glad the June masthead is getting extra play, as it is my personal favorite.