• Anonymous

    I so wonder how many people googled “buffalo vagina” after reading this… I’m sure going to. I’m blaming you for inciting this curiosity. BLAME!!

  • http://www.damomma.com DaMomma

    Marlo looks like Leta.

    And Coco totally has shingles.

  • Salome

    I think Lotta and Marie (lol) are just gorgeous, and also? I hope the Hatemail Lady has an aneurism when she counts how many of us think you are AWESOME. Go, dooce!

  • Mary Anne

    Wow! What a great reader…we have one of those here too…good luck in a few years! The spelling game as code hasn’t worked here since Kindy, had to move on to pig latin!
    Thanks for this…loved the sentiments that were sentimental, but not sappy!

  • http://sundancemoods.com/blog Rena

    They are such pretty girls! Love these newsletters!

  • Heather

    Your monthly letters are sweet.

    And, seriously, I LOVE the hate blog. I find myself clicking on ads on purpose just because seriously, who in the hell should have to go through such stupid shit? If I don’t like a blog, I don’t read it. Guess I have better things to do than misspell words and hurl mindless insults. Ehh, it’s good for entertainment though.

    So, rock on … and seriously, I love you for the hate blog addition.

    And your Captcha thing reads ‘five paroles’ … that is ironically hilarious on many levels.

  • Denise Laborde


  • http://www.patrickpower3.com Anonymous

    . .. beautiful letter .. .

    On sleeping Marlo – what a wonderful dynamic a peaceful baby boy would add.

  • http://sallyb-spot.blogspot.com/ Sally

    We too welcomed a baby girl into our house this summer. It’s so neat to see that bond between children grow. I thought this newsletter was sweet, thanks for sharing.

  • Kim

    I love the brightness and contrast of the colours in the photos. Those are two beautiful daughters – you are indeed lucky.

  • Lisa

    Your girls are gorgeous!! You’re so lucky! It’s nice to see someone taking the time and enjoying what they got instead of always running after what they don’t have. Yes, every baby is different. My experience was opposite of yours, my first is easy going, my second is much more temperamental. My second one is also VERY gassy, I thought it was because he’s a boy but it must a second child thing!

  • sara

    So much like my experience with my 3 year old and sixth month old. I was already geared up for the sleeping through the night battles and then he just started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. I thought other parents were lying to me when they told me that. Got the HGTV watching down pretty good too.

  • Anonymous

    So completely heartwarming.

  • AliOhio

    Really enjoyed this – it’s inspiring. Also, you and MimiSmartypants should start an online bookclub or site for these super readers of yours! (My 6yo reads at that level too, and it’s hard to find books that are challenging to her and yet age-appropriate, you know?)

  • kr

    Oh, how I enjoy these newsletters! Thanks for the pick-me-up Dooce.

  • http://webcat74.blogspot.com webcat74

    I’m still archiving Leta’s letters and I was happy to see one this week for both girls. My Boo just turned six months on Friday and yeah, where the hell did the time go??

    Okay, I was waiting for it, but no one really brought it and it kind of got dropped and I just fell down and died when you said it so casually: “buffalo vagina!”

    So, for those who wondered, and maybe I have a different source, but this is where I saw it and I’ve never heard it referenced again. Back in the early to mid 90′s there was an episode of Real Sex on HBO where all these people were attending a workshop on sex or tantra or something in the middle of the woods, of course. They were showing diagrams of the different shapes of the bottom system’s outtie-parts. One of the diagrams was named the buffalo, and the outtie-parts were particularly lengthy and withery-looking. It’s not an image easily forgottem.

    I’m totally NOT going to do a Google search on this one. I stand by my memory as sufficient and am thankful to move on.

  • Sabrina

    I so enjoy your blog, it makes me feel normal…lol Your children are adorable and I look forward to be a dedicated reader.


  • http://minnesotalady.blogspot.com Bobbi

    This is why I read you. So loving. :)

  • Sara

    That was beautiful!

  • http://zoerights.blogspot.com Zoe Right

    This is such a great idea- I am so glad you are taking the time to write this down. I have a 16 and 14 year old and you forget all of the little things. You think you won’t but you do.

    I may steal this for my own kids.

  • Charity

    Oh my gosh! Lotta and Maria are so beautifl!!

    See, Leta wasn’t a cranky baby, it’s hard to deal with simple mortals when your so gifted! Hah!

    Ya’ll are so great!

  • http://sayvandalay.livejournal.com/ Adrienne

    It’s so weird to me that some people could possible hate you so much, and they don’t even know you! If your blog annoys them why do they keep reading? SUCH LOSERS. And I get the biggest kick out of the HATE page, and I click on the ads there just. because. Go you!

    PS Don’t listen to any of the shit they say about your kids. It’s total jealousy. They’re awesome just as they are.

  • http://mlbornstein.blogspot.com Meredith

    As always, pure beauty. Both your family and your words.

    All of the hating psychotics who spend a disturbing amount of their lives writing shit about you and how you “clearly” hate Leta – obviously have never read a single newsletter you have ever written. Your love for your girls is incredibly clear.

  • http://www.theflyingpinto.com Sara

    You give me hope that my second child could be easy;-)

  • http://www.halfasstic.com/ Krissa

    OK, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it and I SWEAR I don’t THINK it can jinx anything. I have an 18 and 19 year old, both girls a year and half apart. Now, right there you have immense respect for me, huh? Yes, you do…
    What I was gonna say was there is a very good chance you won’t see the terrible two’s or three’s from Marlo, simply because I never got them from mine. I am telling you they both had, very much, her disposition from the beginning and never gave me lick of trouble.
    The Dreaded Teenage Years. But, even then they just gave me lip, got incredibly sullen and lazy, and muttered how much they hated me behind my back.
    They’re past it now and are all human again and it’s like we never went through those dark days.
    Anyway, just keep in mind if you don’t look for it too hard, you might not find it! I’d wish you good luck, but I don’t think you’re needing it. It’s great to see you so on top of the world and your babies are beautiful!

  • Carrie

    Just noticed your shingles video and had to say it was both scary and hilarious…wish I had your sense of humor.

    Your children are beautiful, and your words make me want one of my own even more.

  • Angela

    thank you <3

  • robyn

    I think your daughters have the perfect age difference – just close enough that they’re best friends, and far enough apart that Leta doesn’t get jealous.

    They are so beautiful! I think that’s why you have haters…..jealousy = nasty.

  • http://moville.blogspot.com Mo

    She looks so TINY on Jon’s chest…like a little baby fairy flitted down to fart rainbows and burp unicorn breath…

    Totally a Ruse Baby. THEY plant them here on purpose.

  • TamM

    I caught chickenpox for the first (and only )time when my firstborn was 4 and a half months old. My baby caught it too and while it sucked big time, it wasn’t the end of the world. He didn’t even really care that he was covered in itchy bumps…so don’t let the thought of her catching it spook you out or deter your from breastfeeding. Even if she does catch chicken pox, she’ll be just fine.

  • Renee

    Wow – look at Leta’s eyelashes! She’s going to be a stunner someday.

  • Lynne T


    I know exactly what you mean. I had the “good” baby first! I was blissed out, actually, and she fooled me into having another. He was the baby and the toddler from H*LL. I adore him now (he’s 11), but whew! Don’t fall for her wiles. Marlo is trying to trick you into having another. I am verklempt when I see how Marlo looks at Leta. That is what makes it worth it–to see how they love each other…sniff.

  • Lauren Ursillo

    I know I should cherish every second with my 4 month old baby boy, but reading about your life with Leta makes me wish for him to be a little bigger, a little more able to hug back, a little more talkative. You have a beautiful family, bless you all! And thank you for sharing it all with us. I look forward to all the awesomeness that Leta will undoubtedly bring back from school this fall!

  • Shannon

    I find you hysterical, your kids adorable and entertaining, (but as a mom also they have to come after my brilliant spawn), bue hey, good job!

    Monetizing the hate is a gift. Giggles and assumptions that certainly make the writer not the one written about tipping the pathetic scale.

    Carry on and Good day.

  • Carly

    Heather, Leta’s eyelashes are INSANELY GORGEOUS.

    Those girls are too pretty. Jon, get a shotgun.

  • Shannon

    Also, if Marlo That Girl Thomas ( I just have to string it together that way) get the chicken pox I promise to high the Chicken Priestess she will not resent you for it.

  • http://timesurge.blogspot.com Surge

    Jons going to need more than a shotgun, tell him to get a bulldozer.

    Maybe Marlo isn’t a ruse, but a fairytale come true?!


    I can’t even be bothered to read your inane ramblings anymore because I’m overwhelmed by the atrocious outfits you dress your poor child in. It’s bad enough she’s borderline special-ed, do you have to DRESS her that way? You know, one day she’s gonna have to choose a nursing home for you, and when she looks back at these photos, she’s likely to choose one where the staff will intentionally leave you to fester in your own excrement. Stop. Just stop. It’s not cute, it’s mortifying. I’m embarrassed FOR her.

  • Daisy

    I missed the newsletters so so much. Thank you for making a newsletter :)
    Your girls are stunning, Leta is more an more beautifl (glee) with every day that passes and Marlo is going to be a stunner!
    I’m currently re-reading the archives on my long commutes to and from work, Leta is still an infant until I get to work and read the new entries. Who’d have thought that such a screamer could turn into such a lovely and intelligent child! Well done to the Armstrong’s for raising such an amazing child

  • Lydia

    #387 Hater. You’re so desperate for attention you just want to see this in the Hate site. Pathetic. What a buffalo vagina.

  • http://themilfreport.blogspot.com Legs

    Seriously, when are you going to let her start a blog, cause I’M IN! Totally going to get the all the dirt on there lol!

    You guys are doing a great job.


  • http://www.tinymandolin.com Mandy

    This was really a lovely, wonderful, exciting post. The pictures are beautiful. Everything just overflowed with your love for them.

  • http://www.happinessontap.com Elizabeth_K

    Your daughters are lovely and Leta is brilliant and Marlo is lovely and a TERRIFIC farter …

  • http://www.docbuilder.com/wills/new-york-wills/cat_103.html New York Will Forms

    I never really thought about a blog this way, but it is a great way to leave a legacy to your young ones. Your letters are always hip and thoughtful at the same time.

  • Alyxherself


  • Anonymous

    Yeah, I think this blog has officially reached the height of obnoxiousness, so I’m now done with it. It’s a shame because I used to really enjoy it. The level of self-absorption and narcissism is nauseating. I don’t get these people who are so “moved to tears.” Maybe they don’t have kids of their own?

  • http://www.picknicksbrain.com Nicole Johnson

    Such a sweet letter to the girls and Leta is a smart patootie! I so know what you mean about turning 3, though it was 18 months for us the first time and it was a good thing at the height of the terrible two’s I was already pregnant because THAT I can’t imagine doing more than the two times I am going to do it now (baby is 18 months now)! That, and, if I could survive more sleep deprivation…I’m already too obsessed with it as it is. If I had another “bad” sleeper, I don’t know what I’d do! Good thing we’re done now. Are you? Or, do you think you could have another? :)

  • http://www.rianonline.com Rian

    I’ve been following your blog for a while. 10 days ago we had our first baby (a girl), and now it all suddenly makes 3 times the sense it used to. Thank you for this newsletter, and for making all of these new experiences feel less isolating and scary.

  • Magatha

    Never stop asking your girls about their day, even when they’re old enough to make faces at you and look bored. You’re their mom: you get a lifetime Dork Pass. Keep on talking.

    Hey! Remember that great photo of you and the World Avon Overlord Mom-Person? Where you are wearing that frosted pink lipstick and a lot of hair flung over one shoulder, and a pissed off expression, standing next to your bright-eyed, cheerful mom?

    And it’s okay. Plus, your girls might not even be as bizarre as you were.

    I love your family of six. (Coco and Chuck made me write that.)

  • Heather J.

    This is beautiful. Full of words & love that your girls will no doubt always treasure. This is the kind of lovely, raw work that makes your site a pleasure to read. Your honesty about your struggles, especially in entries from a few years ago, are hugely valuable & a much needed insight into the rich duplicity of emotions that parenthood is.

    This is in no way a hate-filled or hate-motivated statement, much as I am aware it may be interpreted as such, but it seems like you are letting the negatives (& don’t get me wrong, I realise no-one but you can truly know that) weigh you down. On the surface, Monetizing the Hate may seem like a smart way to make charitable money out of negativity, it may seem like a smart way to not leave them unanswerable for their unkindness. I don’t know, though – just my two cents, in no way do I think my perspective is necessarily the only one or THE correct one – your comments in reply to the hateful ones there just make me sad. Your comments may seem flip & funny & showing them what for, but ultimately I think you are more making yourself answerable to them by even giving them the time of day, rather than actually making them answerable to you. It feels … tacky, sad, steeping down to a level that is not worthy of you. Same with your Twitter replies to anyone who disagrees with you or expresses dislike for your current focus on the negative. Did all those women who are supposedly being harrassed ASK you to stand up for them all? Maybe they just want to let it go & your focus on it disallows that for them? You don’t have to carry the weight of defending all of them on your shoulders, allow them to deal with it how they choose, too, without appointing yourself the leader. You are stooping – by linking to Flickr photos of a supposed “hater” & by your comments in reply to haters on MTH – to the level of those who have hurt you & you are worth so very much more than that.

    Again, I know I could be way off the mark here. I know I can’t possibly begin to know what it feels like to be in your shoes anymore than you know me from Adam. My intent is not to be hateful or hurtful … just my two cents about stuff that has been put out there in public. I very sincerely wish you all the very best. You have a beautiful family & my wish for you is that your living in the moment with them blurs out the negativity that is unfairly thrust on you.