• http://spectrumsays.blogspot.com/ Amanda

    Sometimes I do not think that kids are the only ones who need to “cry it out.” Sorry for the loss of your Granny.

    The only people who know what works for a family is the family. Although you and I will apparently be in the same section of hell, I had to cry my son out at 7 weeks, or he would have never slept, I don’t regret a moment of it. It was harsh and painful for me, but I have a child with excellent sleeping habits, even with all of the other things he deals with.

    Congratulations to you for being able to look through the loss to see the big picture of the blessings that come with the balance we call life.

  • Sue M.

    My condolences for your loss :(

  • Lilliah

    Granny Boone *rocked* that jacket- I love it.
    So good she got to meet Marlo.

    Hugs, Heather.

  • http://www.beckygrant.com becky grant

    My prayers and thoughts are with you!

  • Shelly

    I’m sorry for your loss..

  • Angela

    Oh Heather, I’m so sorry about your Granny Boone. When I look at your pics of Marlo now, I will think of your sweet Granny Boone instead of Don Knotts….Don Knotts did make me laugh, though. I will keep you and your precious family in my prayers.

    I LOVE the haircut, by the way! Your “Haters” can suck it….jealous of #26!

    Peace and love to you and your family.

  • Karen

    OK, I am crying because of all the heart felt wishes that your readers have sent to you. Lots of love coming your way, for sure!

  • http://www.musingsofstressedoutmom.blogspot.com cmhl

    Heather, so sorry about your grandmother!!! I have always loved your photos of her because she reminds me of my grandmother. her skin is BEAUTIFUL!!! I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Amelia

    I have 3 step kids and letting them “cry it out” is a lot easier for me than for my husband. When I was in high school with an infant brother, my Mom would send me upstairs to put my brother down while she would either sit on the couch in silence and cry along with him, or put on the television and try, I stress “try,” to pretend like it was all fine.

    This was when he was just walking and talking, so maybe a year and a half. It was just for naps. He would go down at night fine all by himself, but we always got the feeling, as he was literally falling asleep while throwing his toys at us, that he just didn’t want to miss out on anything.

    So, at first we all pretended like it was time to “rest” and we would lay down on the couch, or my Dad would move from sitting behind his desk, to the reclining chair in his office. Even if I had friends over, they would lay down too. Well, obviously that didn’t work because my bro was just like, “Wait, how come I have to go to my bedroom?” And he knew the answer, “Because as soon as you do, we all get up.” So then, we transitioned to having everyone go to their bedrooms and shut the door, while someone would carry my bro off to his.

    The crying was greatly reduced, then he would be put in his crib and play around with his stuffed animal or whatever for a little bit, then, OMG, then, he would be put in his crib and just snuggle up to sleep.


  • JMomma

    I’m so sorry for you loss of your Granny. I lost my beloved PoPo 2 months after my youngest was born – his namesake his last name is her first name.

    Congratulations on Marlo. I completely understand the older child being stressful and the younger being a breeze.
    Don’t let the haters get you down.

    Big hugs & drinks of bourbon!!

  • Anonymous

    So sorry to hear about your Grandma. :( That’s a great picture of her with the baby.

    You’re right about just following every babies/kids cues. You gotta do whats right for them and for your family. There’s no one right way to do it and you just have to play it by ear sometimes. Sometimes CIO is fine and sometimes it isn’t.

  • corglo

    Heather, I’ve been reading your blog for more than 2 years and this is the 1st time I’ve written something. I really can’t stand it when people make bad comments and are really opinionated about how you live your life. If this is how they feel maybe they should find some other outlets for their anger. I’m, truly sorry for your loss. Life is so precious.

  • http://thebeetgoeson.blogspot.com The Expatresse

    I used to be one of those awful, militant mothers who felt that her way was the only way. And then I had my second kid and realized every kid is a different story. And you do what YOU THINK IS BEST AT THE TIME. Because no one knows your kid like you do.

    Who am I to tell you what works? I have no fucking clue. I only know what works for me. I can make suggestions IF YOU ASK. If not, it’s ZIP YOUR LIP SISTER.

    That photo of your granny is beautiful. She does look like Marlo. And all that love in her eyes is flowing in and around you and your family now. As it always has.

    Big hugs, my virtual friend. Big hugs.

  • http://www.ramblingbrooke.com Brooke

    I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m also so glad she got to meet Marlo :)

  • Jen

    First, I have no children so I have no comments about Marlo’s sleeping. I am happy that your family is happy.

    Secondly, I’ve read posts where you have written about your grandmother. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

  • belletoes

    Oh, Heather. So sorry about your beautiful Granny. I see both my Granny and my Nanie in all three of my horrible/wonderful little creatures. Only my oldest knew them both but I see a smile, a giggle, a hand on a hip and I know they are both there with us always. You are doing great, we are all in the same boat so screw the haters!


  • http://pattiesrants.blogspot.com Pattie

    I’m so sorry about the loss of your Granny Boone. May her spirit live on in little Marlo.

  • Manda

    I’m sorry to hear about Granny Boone. She seemed like an awesome lady.

  • http://hotchocolatewillmakemynosefeelbetter.blogspot.com/2009/10/common-senseor-lack-thereof.html Melissa

    So sorry for the loss of your Granny!

  • jessemil

    very eloquent.

    My mother died two weeks after my son was born (ravaged by a quick and rare cancer), in November of 2001. Bittersweet best describes the emotions I was experiencing at the time… and dusting of the first snow with its inherent long winter always makes me a little sad.

    You have my deepest condolences.

  • http://coolmybrowagain.blogspot.com steph

    Oh, Heather. Kiss that baby.

  • http://bethmann15.blogspot.com Beth

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Heather. What a beautiful picture of your Granny and Marlo – it brought tears to my eyes. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

    “Loss and possession, death and life are one. There falls no shadow where there shines no sun.”

  • Teresa

    Very sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. If anyone knows about loss, that would be me. I lost my dad September 13, 2007 and my mom May 6, 2008. In between their deaths I lost my uncle, my mom’s oldest brother, on December 1, 2007. That last two years have also given me two children. Needless to say, it’s been a rollercoaster ride.

    On a much lighter note, is that a big yellow stain behind you on the bed sheets or is that just your shadow? I couldn’t help but stare at it the entire time I was watching.

    I let my oldest daughter cry it out but the other two really were good sleepers and we didn’t have to deal with it. She was/is cranky and requires more effort. It was hard but I don’t think anything else would’ve worked because we tried it all and it didn’t.

    I agree with you that each family has to find what works for them. I personally cannot sleep with children in my bed out of fear that I will roll over on one of them, I’m not being funny. I prefer them in their beds, we all sleep better. But if someone out there feels better the other way, that’s great. We can do what works for each of us and neither way is bad, just different.

    I wish more people would get that in their heads, just because someone does something differently doesn’t mean it’s bad, it just means it’s different.

    Again, I’m sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

  • http://belleandnel.blogspot.com/ Belle

    So sorry about granny. And ABSOLUTELY no judgement here about the whole letting Leta cry it out thing, although obviously my judgment wouldn’t make you cry. It would simply decorate the hate page! :)

  • Jessica

  • Stephanie De

    So saddened and sorry for your loss.
    How heartbreaking for your family. Peace to you and yours.

  • http://www.hydrangeasarepretty.wordpress.com shelli

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Heather. I think grandparent loss is actually one of the hardest losses there is, truth be told.

    (and for the record, we sleep trained Malka at 5 months, and Noah Matan at 9 months. They are MUCH happier and healthier for it. I had to leave the house, however, and go get drunk with uncle Bobby, while Narda listened to the screams, but now? OUR KIDS SLEEP THROUGH THE FUCKING NIGHT, and it’s bliss.)

  • http://www.3blahblog.blogspot.com Anonymous

    I’m so very sorry for your loss.

  • http://www.d3voiceworks.com d3 voiceworks

    mom i wnt mlk and thn lts play. mrlo. ps whrs lta?

    so happy you can continue to be with granny boone through marlo, and sympathies for your loss. a lovely matriarch, from what you describe.

  • Melissa

    So sorry for your loss Heather. The universe has a funny way of balancing these things out.

  • Michele

    I’m so sorry you lost your grandmother. My husband and I were lucky enough to have all four grandmothers until we were in our 30s. We lost all four within the last two years. I so cherish the pictures I have of my kids being held by the grandmas and I hope that Leta will have fond memories of her great-grandmother.

  • http://www.3blahblog.blogspot.com Anonymous

    I’m so very sorry for your loss.

  • Monika Spykerman

    There’s a reason why have only one child, and that is SLEEP. My husband was a proponent of the cry-it-out method, and while I WANTED that to work, I would rather have paper cuts on my eyeballs than listen to my three-year-old shriek for two hours. Night after night, Annika’s screaming would set my husband and I so on edge we’d end up screaming at each other. The evening usually concluded with Annika still awake and me curled up in a fetal position on our bed, longing for oblivion.

    Eventually we saw a family therapist, who suggested a happy medium that WORKED! We put her to bed with lots of hugs and kisses, and told her that we had to leave but we’d be back to check on her later. She could go to sleep, or cry – it was her decision. Then we set the timer for 20 minutes, during which she howled as though she were being mauled by a bear. Then we’d go in and tell her that we loved her, touch her and rub her tummy – but not pick her up. Then we’d repeat the whole thing. The first night it took three 20-minute sessions. The second night it took two, the third night one and by the fourth night she went to sleep without a fuss.

    Now Annika’s 6. I don’t think she was psychologically scarred by crying for 20-minute intervals, but I do believe that this method saved our family.

  • Lindsay

    Sorry to hear about your loss. At least Granny was able to meet Marlo!

  • Jayne

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine.

    As for cry it out, hell yeah. I’m in college, and I still “cry it out” when I’m stressed or under pressure.

  • http://www.sandyraymond.com Sandy

    I’m very sorry for your loss. That’ a beautiful picture of her with Marlo and I’m glad she got to meet her.

    The sleep thing. My son Oscar did the same thing as Marlo, slept from 7:30-3:00, woke to feed, then went back to sleep. For the first five months of his life. It was heaven. Then comes The Big Sleep Regression (caused by growth spurts, teething, crimes committed in past lives, etc.). He started waking every two hours. Then every hour. Then every forty-five minutes. One night he literally woke ever twenty minutes. I considered selling him on the black market to pay off my credit cards (have you SEEN him? I would get a good price).

    So, I decided to try letting him Cry-It-Out (ducks and hides). I hate to say this (because I used to be one of the people who criticized this method), but it’s working.

    As parents, we do what we can. We do what works for our families. We do our best.

  • Jwo

    My sincerest condolences to you and your family, Heather.

  • HDC

    What is it with these Boone’s all being so adorable? What with George(!) and his brother and now that delicious little baby of yours, it’s unnatural I tell you.

    RIP Granny Boone. She had to have been monstrously proud of the lot of you.

  • Theresa

    Heather- I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I enjoy reading you each day… and even on a grey day- you still manage to evoke a smile 200 miles away.


  • Jeanette


    To say I am so sorry about your Granny will not make you feel better at this moment. But from someone who has lost both parents and both sets of grandparents,one day you will enjoy sitting and telling Leta and Marlo the tales of your Granny as I do with my daughter. The best advice from me to you is to take life one minute at a time right now and work up from there. This is my first post…my daughter introduced me to Dooce about three years ago and I am paying forward to you and your family all the times you made me feel better and got me throught hard times after reading your site!

  • http://thepreppypitbull.blogspot.com Amanda

    Heather, I am so sorry about your Grandmother. My Grandmother passed away this past July and I had no idea how much I would be affected by it, but I was. Take time to grieve and spend time thinking about all the wonderful memories. Wonderfully enough I got pregnant the week of her funeral, and if it’s a girl we plan on naming her after my Grandmother. Life is funny in it’s cyclical ways, but you have to do your best to move upward and onward. Good luck, thinking of you and your family.

  • Alice

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Keep doing what you have to do to make life work for you and your family.

  • http://puanani-puanani.blogspot.com/ Puanani

    Blessings on your family. Yes, this cycle sure does continue to spin, with or without our consent.

    My lucky one was first, so imagine my surprise when a grunting, fussy boy made his arrival. There were many nights of letting him cry, because, well, I had mopped the wood floors, on my knees, with said baby boy strapped to my back…

  • Dee

    I’m sorry for your loss.

  • Katie

    Oh, Heather. I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts. How wonderful that Marlo’s smile reminds you of Granny Boone. I think I would find that such a comfort. Take care.

  • http://www.wombattheinnsane.com Kadi Prescott

    I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. Peace~ Kadi
    Ironically, today I wrote a post on life and the harsh realities it entails:


  • Corey

    Normally I read a bunch of your comments before I add to it, but this time, I’m so sad I couldn’t do it. First to be reminded of the misery of non-sleeping babies, then to read about Marlo which always makes me want to procreate again, and then to finish off with the loss of your grandmother.
    I lost my grandmother a week before I conceived, which yes, I do believe is completely connected. It’s the saddest thing I have been through so far and I feel your pain. And totally get the juxtaposition of life and death because I went through it in my own way. Please know you have hugs flying at you right now!
    My Captcha is Later Shining which somehow fits tonight!

  • kat

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • http://totallytay.blogspot.com Taylor K

    I am sorry that your granny died. Hug.

  • Swiper

    Dear Dooce,

    Why am I agreeing with you so much lately? I am hardly a fan and certainly not one of your ass kissers. I totally believe in “crying it out” and we did the same thing with our little “Leta,” though she was only a fraction of the nightmare of what you had to endure.

    Sorry about Granny.

    Your pal,