• mignon

    For the record, as a Yale grad, I spark fear in my children by telling them that Harvard forces students to take their finals AFTER THEY COME BACK FROM CHRISTMAS BREAK. My 4-year-old has nightmares about it, so my job here is done.

  • mignon

    Oh, oops – wrong post. I guess I can’t multitask as well as Jon. And all I have is a Droid. So second-tier, aren’t I?

  • JSD723

    I hate to say it, but reading this post and through all the comments made me feel good. Good in that I realize I’m not the only wife who comes second to Apple products! Not that it improves my situation any, sometimes it’s just nice to know I’m not alone!

  • the niffer

    Ditto JSD723.

  • HDADDiva

    Not gonna lie… I’m barely able to stand the anticipation of receiving my 3G iPad.

    But I don’t have any kids to distract me from it… I may be stuck to it for days, not even able to stop dorking out to shower.


  • Megan Ellen

    My husband came back from a US business trip to Europe – where the iPad release has been delayed a month – with an iPad. He’s been gleefully playing with it ever since, taunting his geek buddies who have to wait for theirs (this has been made worse by the volcano shutting down travel to the US).

    He said it was a present for me, but who does he think he’s kidding? ;-)

  • Raerica

    I’d love to have an ipad, but I have an macbook, and an ipod touch so I think i’m okay for now.

  • joyluck76

    Gwenneth Paltrow might take issue with your blog title. But, she’ll probably be over it once she reads the post. ;)

  • JillyMack06

    Whenever something goes wrong, I blame Sarah Palin. For example: Ugh, this month Sarah Palin is the worst, I hate having cramps or GD Sarah Palin, I’m running so late. I picked up this handy little trick after the teaparty she spoke at…I find it highly effective and quite amusing.

  • suzanne

    I have to comment here since I can’t on Churck’s photo – but I cracked up! My two kids and I have spent about 3 weeks yelling FORSYTHIA! in the car. As you know, it’s pretty much the first thing to bloom in the Spring, at least here in Georgia, and I just love its yellow blossoms heralding the coming of the azaleas, dogwoods, etc. Love it!

    My kids are 7 and 9 and on the way home from school when it first started blooming, we would play a game like who can spot some forsythia mostly because it kept them from fighting with each other. My daughter kept yelling PERSIFFIA and then my son would tell her how wrong she was and after a couple of weeks, she could pronounce it correctly although she stated that it sounded better her way. She thinks they should change the name. Anyway, I adore Chuck and if my kids saw this pic, they would both yell FORSYTHIA!! LOL

  • Serenity Bohon

    I love how this post ends. Competent father, Check. Competent geek, Check.

  • Heavenisabookstore

    I actually think if I encourage my BF to buy the iPAD then I might actually have time for my blog. I feel it’s just a win-win situation.

  • cool dad

    I’m surprised there aren’t any jokes about multitasking (or the lack of, for now) on the iPad. Since I don’t want my first comment here to be a snarky geek joke, I’ll instead say: Go, Jon! Multitask with the best of ‘em!

  • AJS721

    Awesome. I will now be stealing this line of reasoning from you.

    My husband has Apple as a client and is trying to justify buying an iPad as something we could use together and hey… it’s only $150 more than the Kindle! I get a discount! We can watch movies! In Bed! On a plane! wouldn’t it be amazing!
    We have two laptops, a HUGE TV and an iPhone (mine, paid for by my company). We clearly don’t need any more crap. However, the new 4GS is coming out soon (June? July?) so geek widows prepare yourself! I already have on my end.

  • winecat

    LOVE the way your mind functions!

  • kamsraptor

    Correction: YOUR man can multi-task ;) . More than one of my nightmares has included impending doom regarding my children while left in the care of their all to often “distracted” father. Although, he does happen to be a good father also- when properly supervised.

  • jwoap

    I will be 100% honest and some might think of me as a bitch — First of all let me preface this by saying — I adore my spouse. I love him very much. However, when the weekend rolls around I too become agitated, and not liking it.


    Because my routine is going to be disrupted. There I said it. Maybe I should go post this on post secret or something:

    “I secretly wish my husband would work seven days a week because on the weekends he cramps my style.”

  • eighthrising

    Not crazy at all. I’m a single mother of two boys, and I often look forward to the work week to get away from the crazy a little – if even for just 8 hours.

  • shannymarie

    I am an Apple-lover and have converted my husband, but I must admit I’ve been on the “making fun of him” train with the iPad. Yes – It’s a cool looking new gadget that I’ll probably eventually own. BUT – right now, it looks like one of those giant remote controls for the elderly – a giant, senior version of the iPod. It only works on wi-fi, he didn’t wait for 3g to have at least some capability to use on the go. And similar to your husband, the kids are now neglected while he surfs around on the iPad. Of course, the babysitters think he’s cool because they get to use it when they are over. I’m not quite sold yet.

  • Daddy Scratches

    Yeah, we iz not az stoopid az yu girlz thinkz we iz. ;)

    PS: I have iPad envy.

  • katliz

    My husband pre-ordered the 3G version. When it arrives in a few weeks, I’m sure I’ll never see him again. Not that I want to, considering every time I see his shiny new toy, I am going to consider the vacation or home improvement project we could have had instead of a new electronic device.

    Yup. I’m a trifle bitter.

  • eleanorstrousers

    I knew the iPad would be the death of us all. Could Jon let me know whether he would rather have a baby or an iPad? Cause I’m a woman of a certain age and my budget only allows for one.

  • Anu

    Ummm….fine I’ll say it!! I agree with you :-)

  • McMissis

    I’m going to have to disagree with today’s lesson.

    Case in point: last night when McMister was listening to a voicemail and I asked him to move his legs off me. He almost exploded he was so upset with me, and his voice reverted to a 13-year-old’s pubescent screech when he asked how to replay the message.

  • Blahggy

    See? Technology kills. It’s true.

    It’s kind of the opposite in our house. I was on Twitter the other night and my husband goes, “Let me see what it looks like.” Although I am not nearly the nerd that Jon seems to be, but probably wouldn’t mind it.

  • Loakalina

    1. My husband works for Apple.
    2. He got his iPad the day it came out.
    3. Haven’t had a meaningful conversation since.
    4. I feel your pain.

  • Greta Koenigin

    When you think about it, a child is just another application. Steve Jobs knows this. And he just created the Baby Bjorn of the technical world.

  • Lornadoone1972

    This sounds so familiar – my husband stood in line on MY birthday, the day the iPad was released, to purchase one for HIMSELF. Needless to say it has been in his hand ever since… and in our bed. I found him assisting our 14 month old with his dinner on Tuesday evening – baby spoon in one hand – iPad in the other. SIGH

  • Rebecca Siewert

    Glad Marlo survived! My husband just purchased a new smart phone of some kind and I haven’t seen him in a few days!

  • spedrson

    My husband is not a techno-geek, but if he gets a new book – forget about it! I don’t see his eyes for the next week!

  • freckleface

    Isn’t the iPad just like a very big iPod touch? I’m sorry… just not seeing the appeal! I always considered myself a nerd, but I guess I’m not nerdy enough for this one :)

  • poopinginpeace

    You and I have the same brain activity. I can’t go anywhere without thinking things like one of the girls has climbed up on the kitchen counter and is playing with knives, while my husband sits absorbed in the latest bout of computer scrabble or fantasy baseball. He is also a great father who pays attention and plays with the girls all the time. I don’t know why I always think he isn’t watching them. Maybe it’s because when we’re around they rely on us to do most of the watching. Either way-I totally get it.

  • giromide

    Oh, crap! I forgot I have a family! (scram)

  • Heather718

    Just please don’t let him end up on this website:


  • Leball

    I’d like to clone your Jon there as I am taking applications for a competent, geek like, multitasking father. ;)

  • vida23

    Um, ditto. My man uses one half of his brain for babysitting, and the other half for Mac-anything. Like a duck taking a nap.

  • kidthings

    Been there. I am there. My husband is very much Steve Jobs’s bitch.

  • JennfromCanada

    If my husband doesn’t have his smartphone in hand then he’s got his face in his laptop. We aren’t Apple owners (except for 2 ipods) but I completely understand how you iPad widows feel.

    May they come up for air someday. Have a great weekend!

  • Wombat Central

    We see this on a smaller scale in our house, as my DH is always gazing lovingly into the screen of his iTouch.

  • kitchenbeard

    Right hand on the iPad. What was he doing with his left hand?

  • thegirlmama

    It is only my husband’s rule of never buying the first generation of anything that is keeping him from running away with the iPad. (The fact that it is simply an enlarged iPod Touch has, somehow, not crossed his consciousness yet. Shhhhh…don’t mention it.)

  • Laura Jones

    They actually asked about his vasectomy? They didn’t say something like, “God I wish my husband would be considerate enough to do that.”

  • mommica

    Only some men, apparently…

  • pitbullsrock

    Science geek chiming in here… don’t be an iPad widow – be a joiner – two apps that Jon (and all other iPad owners) need to purchase especially if you have kids – The Elements – makes science fun – complete with Tom Lehrer’s Element Song and Star Walk – turns your iPad into a personal planetarium – go out on the deck on a clear night and oh and ah with your kids. Really lemons -> lemonade.

  • Midnight

    I’m in the exact same position as thegirlmama above…as soon as the second generation iPad is released, my husband will be gone.

  • jboucher032

    My partner is like this with mountain bikes. I’m sure when we decide to have rugrats it will present a problem. Right now I love when he disappears in his man cave (gargage)and leaves me alone for hours!

    I’m also very excited about the change in weather in SLC. Bring on the heat!

  • Steve O

    We men love our toys. Wife asks . . Do you love me?
    Muffled reply . . yaaa or grunt . . (Back to tinkering with new toy)

  • everkelly

    We haven’t gotten one yet (we are slow, and we like to wait for stuff to go on sale), and this is sort of what I’m afraid of. I would be more excited about the ipad if 1) it didn’t have the word “pad” in its name and 2) if we bolted it to a wall so it wouldn’t creep into every room of our house begging for attention. But then — that’s the point, right? Glad to hear that your family is handling this with grace. I’m sure we’ll get there… eventually.

  • RoseTattoo

    I’m the geek in our family. As we speak, I have my Macbook in front of me, my iPad to the left of me and my iPhone to the right of me.

  • erinj1976

    My dad got his iPad last week and I think I have been replaced on the family tree.