• momof8

    I get it, I got up at 3AM and paid bills. Really.

  • msmimi

    I have the same problem a LOT of the time, and it goes back to when my now 6yr old was a wailing infant who NEVER slept more than 2 hours at a time…I had postpartum depression too, but let it go way too long, was placed on an antidepressant, the dose was raised way too quickly, and I subsequently became manic. A mess, and really TMI. But the thing is during the week, I could go out to work, even if it was only P/T. On the weekends I felt trapped. And now that she’s older, she still seems to demand near constant attention, and exhausts me on the weekend.
    So yeah, most weekends I’d rather be at work caring for my psych pts rather than at home caring for my daughter- who btw is sure to be someone’s future psych pt. My point? You’re not alone.

  • Kim Kelley-Wagner

    Yep, right there with ya. Thought I was crazy. There I am sitting my butt in front of a computer all week, then NEVER sitting down all weekend and waking up on Monday morning so sore I can hardly lift my bones out of bed.

    Then there are the magazines. I haven’t sat down and read one since March of 2008 and they have really piled up! That was when I learned that I had been matched with my second daughter from China and the chaos began, first getting ready to go to China, then being IN China, then being home with a new child plus the older one and going back to work as a single mother, ugh! So nope, not a single magazine read in all that time. You’d think I would just stop the subscriptions, but I keep hoping. *sigh* Please tell me I am not hoping in vain.

  • renaemcalister

    That’s not dumb at all. I think you need some “me” time. After I had my second son (19 months after I had my first, I know, I’m crazy) I had a very hard time relaxing and de-stressing. When you are a stay at home mom the weekends aren’t really any different from any other day of the week. The only difference is that my husband is home, which of course is nice, but I still didn’t feel like I ever got a break. When Jake was about 6 and a half months old and I had stopped nursing we made some changes that really helped me and made me look forward to the weekend.

    First, we started taking turns sleeping in. One of us would get Saturday and one of us would get Sunday. The way this worked was that one of us got both of the kids up, dressed, and fed and under no circumstances opened the door to our room until we emerged. The only way this worked was because of a noise maker that would drown out any crying or yelling. Man I love Sharper Image, best birthday present ever!

    Secondly, I get 2-3 hours to myself every Saturday. Sometimes I go shopping, sometimes I go play volleyball or workout, but I almost always get out of the house. I’ve even gone to the public library just to go sit and read in peace and quiet. Some Saturdays my husband and I will drop the kids off with Grandma or Aunt and Uncle so that we can go out to eat and take a trip to Barnes and Noble or something.

    Anyway, I think you need some time to yourself girl, you deserve it =)

  • tokenblogger

    Heather, the weekend is s..l..o..w t..i..m..e.

    Slow time instead of free time.

    Slow time means you can stay in bed a little longer.

    A really nice and lazy late afternoon lunch.

    A little bit longer nap for any of you.

    A nice and lazy walk with the pups: one-at-a-time.

    Cleaning? Go ahead, but slowly. Let Leta help because when you’re doing things slowly there is more time for her to learn the way you like to do things.

    Make supper something lite and make it together.

    Sunday is a little bit faster, but still lagging behind the pace of the week days.

    Sunday is still enjoying the weekend while getting ready for the week ahead.

    Have a Sunday afternoon outing or have some pholks over for the afternoon.

    Do stuff. Do anything you want. Do as much as you want — while keeping in mind you’ve got all weekend to do it.

    You’re not crazy, sweetie, you’re a Mom.

  • MontanaJen

    Yes. It’s weird.

    I say this only because I feel the same way – physically incapable of just ‘hanging out’ and ‘relaxing with a cold beer in my hand’ like my nutzo friends do. I blame generation upon generation of dirt farmers, and their knowledge that burrowed its way into our genetic makeup that if they were not productive every fucking daylight hour of every fucking day, we would LITERALLY die HOMELESS and ALONE.

    This feeling is the reason I knit (to feel productive in otherwise unproductive moments on the deck, or watching a movie, or riding as a passenger in a car).

    But really, I think (for me) this comes from being just inside of my head too much. I have an ongoing list of to-do’s, and can’t stop actually doing the to-do’s. Tonight, after 9 hours of pretty manual labor around the house (re-caulking tub, shampooing carpets, cleaning out garage), I had to deliberately sit down and make a list of the stuff that I had to do prior to relaxing. The list had 28 items on it, one of which was re-paint and re-carpet the bedroom. WEIRD. Too much. So I poured a glass of red wine, and the list looks better from across the room.

    So yeah – it’s weird – but only because commercials don’t recognize one’s inability to just SIT DOWN ALREADY. But weird is OK. Most of us have it.

  • prettyswell

    No, not dumb. I’m right there with you. And what makes it even harder is that the husband is so freaking good at relaxing on weekends.

  • triplets of terror

    My husband and I went from no children (apart from three wonderful dogs) to having triplets after 6 great years of marriage. We’re not complete slobs but the house was generally tidy except for massive amounts of dog hair. With the coming of the triplets (and premature by 6 weeks) having a very clean house was a necessity. The trips are now 13 months but the cleaning regime has endured. I used to be angry inside at having to hold the babies all the time while in my head all I could think of was all the shit I had to clean and get prepped. I don’t get angry in my head anymore I just try to deal with constant re-organizing in my head about the list of things to do. The weekends are always hit or miss. I constantly find things for us to do with them to keep them happy and show them the world but it also keeps me from going crazy at home. The best and worst part is the constant stream of family members who come over. Some are very helpful and not only watch babies but offer to clean and bring food with them…others tend to sort of watch the babies and eat everything they can find…and ask for coffee to be made. Probably not very helpful comments from me today but I feel bettter for having gotten it off my chest. Don’t forget that no one goes through what you do…we all have our own experiences and way of dealing with them. Find what works for you:-)

  • carpe_vinum

    I am a teacher of high school students and I get depressed when it is nearly summer. It is at that time my boys become my primary focus. It seems as though my world ramps up from GO GO GO to GO GO GO FASTER, FASTER!!!!! I, again this year, am not looking forward to summer at all. It makes me cry.

    I often feel that way on weekends, especially on Sundays. Saturdays are so busy with sports, family events, etc. that it isn’t too bad. Sundays, on the other hand, are often horrid.

    I feel ugly admitting all of this.

  • smithie1996

    I am right there with you because when you have an infant you never get a day off but at least during the week there is structure to your day. But the weekend? No playgroup, Little Gym, pediatrician appointments, thousands of errands that can be run while he is in day care and I don’t have to race through the wine store buying stuff as fast as possible before he pulls every bottle off the shelf. The best night of the week is Sunday because I know my kiddo is off to day care the next day and I can finally relax and not worry about how to fill up those 48 hours of unplanned time.

  • nuttermother

    Not weird… I hate the weekend because i stand around waiting for kids/hubby to mess up the house with toys and dishes. I would like one day that everyone could put their own stuff away…by themselves…without prompting.

    In my head I can’t get anything accomplished unless the house is clean – not in a totally anal way, but tidy enough to see the counter tops (is that to much to ask?…or the floor…)

    Monday is nice, husband is at work, and the kids are busy doing little tasks and i can breath…

    There is too much downtime on the weekend for chaos…hence, we go to my parents house on Sunday’s so my kids can mess their house up instead! lol

  • alexwantsacookie

    Hates: Anxiety. Yuck.
    Loves: The suggestion from KMcWriter to make a list of fun stuff to do. I love lists and frequently use them to keep my anxiety in check (see above). I think you should give it a try!

  • shellliejelly

    Though I’m sure it’s something quite different, the minute I read that you dreaded the weekend, I remembered how the same feeling would come over me after having my daughter, only my dread was for the night. I’d have a similar reaction in that I’d start to subtly panic, looking around and just trying to get through until morning. The minute I could see the day start to break, I’d feel better. Most of it, I think, had to do with having a newborn and feeling things were somehow safer when it was day, as though if something went wrong fixing a problem was much easier in the daylight. I know, sounds … weird.
    I also had a severe thyroid problem that went undiagnosed for the first three months after giving birth, which was the root of the majority of my problem. Perhaps have your thyroid checked? Though I say that with some sense of tongue-in-cheek, as I’m now the woman who suggests thyroid problems for most everything as I was so miserable before my diagnosis. Cold? Thyroid problem! Cry at the drop of a hat? Thyroid problem! Don’t want to walk the dog? Thyroid problem!

  • Spookify

    comment deleted

  • CandleMom

    With three kids under the age of 5, relaxing on the weekends is nonexistant. We just try to plan something to do as a family. Hanging around the house all day drives me crazy!

  • Indiana Lori

    So not crazy. So very normal. I had a first, wildly high maintenance daughter, and then a 2nd, very smiley, no parents needed I’m so easy daughter. I was so overwhelmed at the difference that I QUIT MY JOB, right at Month 10. I found myself at home with Miss High Maintenance & Miss Suddenly Cranky. No work, no escape = let me kill myself now. I drank on the driveway every single night, alone in a camping chair. Luckily, I live in Indiana, so I blended right in with the neighbors.

    Cranky baby turned back into giggly happy baby by Month 12, and has stayed that way, now at Month 32.

    Whatever is creasing Marlo will pass. I hate the “this too shall pass”, but she will return to baseline, I’m sure of it. I think that first year with 2 daughters was harder than my first year with one, but after that, it got exponentially easier by the day.

    Hang in there. Daughters love to age their mothers. This much we know.

    Best,

    Indiana Lori

  • Whichann

    Have you tried to split your “days-off”. Your “day’s-off” could be Sunday and Wednesday or Thursday. You could call it flex time and couple of months (or years) go back to old fashioned “week-ends” of Saturday and Sunday. Or you could have four half days “off” . . . or . . .

  • nelking

    Yep, been there. It’s hard not to have those breaks from the parenting of small ones. It’s going to get easier I swear.

  • Hattie

    Dooce, You need to view raising your two daughters as a project and forget about all the other ones that you “could” be working on, at least for the weekend. They will only be small for a short time. Relish it.

  • missusclark

    Heather, don’t you know about this?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morton's_toe

    You have the toes of royalty, dear.

    I, too, used to dread the weekends. Even though my husband is then home, it just seemed like I was “on duty” all the damn time! But when I had to pull the twins out of preschool, that went away. Now, I glad to have the backup.

  • jessalee

    I feel the same way. Sitting still and doing what feels like nothing feels impossible.

    This weekend it was 80 degrees here, and we took the kids for a picnic by the river, and they loved it. The only problem is I sat there thinking of all the things I had to do instead of enjoying the beautiful river and all that quiet. Even though my family and my children and that time together is my priority, it was hard for me to be thoroughly in the moment. My kids are 5 and 7, so I certainly hope it goes away sooner for you than it seems to be taking me.

  • elhennessy

    I have the same problem, but it’s more about transition times. On weekdays, I dread the weekend. On weekends, I dread the weekdays. Planning helps, but if I have too much going on, I get overwhelmed. I guess balance really is the key.

  • Jojo

    I’m stuck at home with my kid all week. I look forward to the weekends because it’s not just me stuck with my kid. I suspect that my husband feels exactly like this, though. He has the patience of a flea and acts as if it is just crazy to chase a hyper-active toddler around for a few hours. I’m all, “Asshole, I do this all freaking day. Why can’t you handle this for a few hours on a weekend????” I need a job outside the home, plain and simple.

  • reluctantcrafter

    I don’t find it strange at all (the toe or the dilema, as I have both). I don’t work, though, but still find myself in a state you’re describing. It’s like my mind is is going 200 mph, and my body is trying to keep up, but just can’t. Most. times I feel like a dog chasing my tail. My bad day? Sunday. Just is . I am lucky my husband and kids are so understanding. And this may sound totally messed up, but when i’m having one of “those” days, I’ll ask my husband if it’s ok if I take magazine break, or nap or whatever. Of course he knows this drill and always says yes. It’s not that I’m some 1950′s minded housewife, there’s just something about someone telling me it’s ok to chill that makes me feel better.

  • BunnyJames

    I totally understand and have sympathy; I guess I go into the opposite mode of the depression end. I drop my boys off at school on Friday morning and their Papa picks them up and takes them to his house for the weekend. I pick them up on Sunday evening, sometimes in time for dinner, and get to spend a few hours with them NOT worrying about Monday through Friday: homework or chores or the “real-life” duties that come with keeping them hygenically responsible and educationally sound and getting ten hours of sleep and eating a whole grain breakfast so they don’t pass out before recess; carpool and that “a-hole in my class kicked me in the mouth on the monkey bars today!” (Clearly Mom has a sailor mouth.) Those few Sunday night hours are just about the sweetest time I have with these babies, who are both almost taller than I am.

    That said, when the weekend does occur, I feel a little lost. I started a new job outside of the home recently, and it is very public and highly stressful and when I come home at night I feel like being the MOTHER is what I have to do to keep our shit together. I don’t get to play as much or be as silly as we used to–I hate that when they go to their Dad’s for the weekend, they get to do all the fun stuff; they come home with prizes from the arcade and movie stubs and tales about the awesome playdates they had. I am the Enforcer and their Dad is the playmate and I have lost that childlike connection with my children that I always promised myself I would honor and cherish.

    OMG. If anyone read this far into my dribble I thank you. I don’t know how I got this far off topic, but here I am writing all of this out and I can’t stop crying. So whether you are reading this or not, I 1.Thank you for letting me get this out and 2. I Am thankful that I am not the only one out there having this pain about not being the perfect parent I always promised myself I would be.

    My point was to answer Heather’s question: when I come home on Friday, I put on pj’s and get into bed. And sometimes I stay there until Sunday at noon, reading books and magazines and having cocktails in bed and watching really bad TV and a high probability of wing sauce on my sheets from those Buffalo drumsticks I was craving.

    I miss my boys so much when they are gone. And I tell myself I enjoy the opportunity of doing absolutely nothing when they are not home. I remember when we were all a family and Saturdays were park days and planting seeds and making pancakes from scratch.

    I haven’t eaten pancakes in three years.

    I am extremely grateful in these times that I have a job. I don’t do well with Play-doh and have little tolerance for glitter and glue sticks. I ADMIRE parents who are fulfilled in that role, and as little as I see my children, I wish that I were one of them. I was lucky enough to stay home with both of them before preschool; now that they are both in school I am relieved that I get to resume a professional life. But the guilt is always there: Am I doing enough? Are they getting enough? Do they feel like they are receiving enough of my love?

    I am grateful that my children are healthy, and hilarious, and wickedly brilliant; there is no one that can make me laugh and think and ponder as they can. They have a great Father and our extended family who loves and respects them and will keep them safe. There is comfort in that as well.

    But I miss them.

    So yes, I dread the weekends.

    I only WISH I would be inspired to clean instead of curl up in my bed and wish they were next to me.

    Thank you for the opportunity to get this out. I am sincerely grateful.
    B

  • Rich

    Heather you are not a freak. What you are is normal, somewhat normal. It happens to most people that run their own business’ from home. There is no time clock so we work when we can, and something in your personality makes you want to stay occupied all the time. Luckily you have a job that requires lots of attention. What you need to do is set time aside every day to relax. So, no matter what is going on, you take from 5-9 off to do something not related to work.
    On the weekend, you need a set routine I think. Schedule something to do every Sat, and then do it every Sat. Like, on Sat you schedule time at the park with kids and dogs and do it no matter what every Sat. That will give you something structured to do every week and will help with your anxiety.
    OK, and remember, not everything in life is a competition.

  • The Dalai Mama

    No it certainly isn’t just you. While I love spending time with my kids–4 and 2, it’s also very stressful to fit in all the things you need to do with what you want to do. The week is much more about me and I like that–I’ll admit if freely–while the weekend is not at all about me and that is hard to balance, manage and adjust to.

    While I really have nothing profound to say about it, just know you aren’t alone.

  • KarmenTheGreat

    I have a similar issue, only I don’t have children. I dread the weekends because I am forced to realize I have no life and no friends. There is not a single person in the world who would enjoy spending that time with me so I sit alone at home all weekend long waiting for Monday so I can at least be at work where there are people I can socialize with. I’m terrified of my future, as of June 1st my work will be closed down for good. I don’t know what I will do.

  • Queen Bugaboo

    I totally understand–I feel like that on a bigger scale. I’m a teacher, so as the school year is ending I get all nervous about how I’m going to cope with the summer. By May I’m plotting all the things I can do with my “extra” time alone, out of the house. Then reality sinks in and it’s just not possible. The amount of household/farm stuff expands to fit the space it is given, like an alligator that grows to fit its cage of the gigantic pile of junk and clothes that is filling our attic. By August, I am DYING to get back into the classroom. I spend all the time I can in school getting things ready before the kids come.

  • momoftwo-21n2

    Not dumb at all, I have had weekend dread since my mom passed away in 2001. A few years ago I developed vacation dread, it sucks!

  • Damaris Santos-Palmer

    questions… why is it so hard to go from my RSS feed to your blog? Everytime I click on the feed it takes me to google pages instead of to your blog? This is why I never comment, not that you need my one little comment.

    anyway, I feel exactly how you feel. I have a ton of anxiety building up when I know I have to spend an extended amount of time with my kids. Now that I’m home with them every day I have anxiety pretty much all the time. The worst is when I get away and I have even more anxiety that the person who’s taking care of them is doing something terribly wrong.

    Your crazienss soothes me.

  • dolphy36

    Sounds very familiar to me, Heather. Not specifically weekends, but just “be time” with my kid. If I have an activity to do with him, great. Read? no problem. But get down on the floor and play army guys? Uh-uh. His dad, on the other hand, is his best playmate! I am envious–but then not. But I constantly feel a failure for not being in the moment and instead trying to knock something off the ToDo list. Phhft.

  • jenwilson

    That’s not the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m the same way.

    So, I guess you’re one of the few people who LIKE Mondays?

  • Vander

    Heather, I lost my job recently. Now that my days are wide open, I find it hard to stop moving, because depression will smack me upside the face instead of just tapping me on the shoulder. If I keep moving, my shoulder is a moving target. I schedule as many appointments as I can (I looked forward to a teeth cleaning!) and on days when there is nothing on the calendar, I putter. Putter, putter, putter. Cleaning, organizing, making lists of things to clean and organize, etc. When everything is clean and organized, and my doctor is sure I don’t need another physical, then what will I do? I will sit there and the interview I went on last week still won’t call yet, and I’ll give in and cry on the floor till the dog gets freaked out. I never knew I was so defined by my job.
    So, weekends are just like any other day for me: looming ahead with hours of unplanned time.

  • cinddmel

    It doesn’t sound dumb at all Heather. I started to get a lot of anxiety and almost panic about just being home in the weekends too – I was working at home and like you had also nowhere to escape.
    It’s just natural, I think, to feel trapped and anxious about not having somewhere to go that you can use as a place to escape and distract yourself from everything else.
    I think you are such a strong woman and good parent, and I admire the fact that you manage to spend almost 24/7 with your husband and family and make it work.
    I’m not going to tell you what you could do different to try to help this situation, simply because I’m sure so many people have told you already or you thought about it yourself. I’ll be praying for you and your family that you can feel more at peace and keep being the great person that you already are.
    (((hugs)))

  • nemiccolo

    Try this and see if it helps at all. I’m Jewish and I tried this out when I had the same feeling and it really worked.

    Religious Jews celebrate the Sabbath from sundown on Friday to Sundown on Saturday.

    This means they don’t light any fires, turn lights on or off, drive, write, do anything other than eat, pray, relax, read, play.

    It is 24 hours of being totally unplugged from anything – a real day of rest.

    A couple of things – you do have to prepare for this by taping light switches and stuff and making sure you have food you can eat during this time period – but you would be shocked at how rejuvenated you feel at the end of a 24 moratorium on doing anything. No internet, no phone – just hang out with your family, read, take long walks – tell each other stories. It seems like the opposite of what you are looking for but I swear it will rock your world!

  • jen.yaya

    No diagnosing here, but an fyi…

    I don’t have kids, yet I’ve always been the same way. Many people in my family are EXACTLY this way. We just call it “The Patrick Workaholic/Perfectionist Gene”. You’re so restless, you feel like you’re going to just pop right out of your own skin if you aren’t busy doing something… anything. Only difference is that I dread any time when I’m supposed to be relaxing, or taking it at a slower pace. Maybe yours is kid-related, but we’ve got some of ‘the crazy’ goin’ on in my family too. Just sayin.

    PS- We haven’t figured it out yet either.

  • HumHumViz

    I’m with you on the weekend fear, but for a totally weird reason. I hate watching my husband do nothing. And he’s a master at doing nothing, like its an art form. Problem is he’s out most of the week, me working at home. There are simply some household/family things that have to be done on weekends or things I can’t do (ie heavy lifting, skilled labor…interact with children…duh!).

    He is a master of inertia and will, given any free moment, (and I mean any moment like moving from one room to the next) flop down with his game-boy, Droid, computer, whatever and stay there until the mountain not only comes to him but knocks him on his ass. I don’t begrudge him relaxation time, but there is a limit.

    Then he’s all like, “What? What’s going on? I was just waiting to see what we’re gonna do?”

    Meanwhile I’m holding one kid by the arm as she tries to parachute off the balcony and the other is crying because the first is taking my attention from helping her with her quadratic equations.

    (No on the parachute, Yes on the equations)

    During the week I don’t have to watch him turn into a sea slug with a Droid because he has a very set schedule of events. Come home, eat dinner, help with homework, read to kids, sing a goodnight song, have a glass of wine and go to bed, rinse and repeat.

    So I fear weekends because eventually I get frustrated when time to relax becomes a bizarre game of find the Silly-Putty Dad from where ever he flopped down last and peel him up.

  • socaldede

    You are not crazy. But, think of it from your children’s standpoint. As a child, I LOVED weekends. I loved jumping in my parent’s bed to wake them up. I loved that they pretended to be annoyed and then just moved over so all 6 of us could fit into the Full size bed. I loved that on weekends we got to have pancakes, as opposed to cold cereal during the week. I loved having chores to do on Saturday mornings so that we could do a family project or just be lazy together in the afternoon. I loved that on Saturdays, my Dad would take one of us to the deli and order special sandwiches for everyone. I loved that my Mom took a nap and snored loudly (we loved to make our Mom happy and naps made her happy). I loved that Saturday nights were always BBQ nite and sometimes company came over. I loved that even though it was Saturday we had weekend “bedtimes”. I loved that we were not allowed to watch television on the weekends because my Dad was “allergic”…I loved that on Saturday nights we would lay out our Sunday school clothes. I loved that sometimes on Sunday morning my Dad would pronounce Church HOOKIE Day and we would go out to breakfast, skipping church all together. I loved that Sunday afternoons we often took long car rides stuffed sitting backwards in the station wagon. I loved that Sunday nights we had BLT’s. EVERY SUNDAY. I loved that on Sunday nights we had Daddy night. He got us ready for bed, bathed and tucked. I loved that when Monday morning rolled around and my teacher or friends would ask what we did and I always said, “Nothing special, just the NORMAL stuff.
    Weekends are made up of Normal stuff.

  • poopinginpeace

    It’s really a shame that you live so far away and we can’t be friends and hang out drinking wine or whisky all weekend. I feel exactly the same way on the weekend. The lack of routine sends me completely out of wack. Plus my husband being home, which is nice on the one hand, but a pain on the other, doesn’t always help. You don’t sound crazy to me at all, because you feel exactly like I do. So either this is something that happens to a lot of people, or we’re just both nuts.

  • gavintiegirl

    Holy crap that is a lot of responses. Wow! Well, I guess by now you realize you are not alone. That’s a good thing – right?

    I read a lot of the responses but not all. I too like routine and the structure of the work week.

    I used to dread weekends when my son was little and I had no hobbies or outside interests.

    Now, that my son is 12, I look forward to the weekends to read, crochet, cook/bake or just relax, but somehow I still feel guilty if I don’t get a substantial amount of things done on the weekend.

    This feeling will pass as your kids get older and you learn to mellow out a bit. Drink more wine!

    PEACE!

  • KirstenBH

    If nothing else, it’s really good to know that so many other teachers dread summer, too. My long break always coincided with my husband’s busiest time at work, so he’d get phone calls like, “So I moved the sink and vanity into the guest bedroom. What color do you think we should paint the bathroom after I rip out the wallpaper?” He knew I was like this going into the relationship, though. I dropped out of college on the first Sunday in September of my sophomore year because I could not face all the weekends stretching out before me. (I dropped back in, got a Master’s degree…it all worked out.) I have some anxiety around being idle, to be sure. Now with a 2-year old, I try to look at things from her perspective. I don’t want her only interactions with me to be my responses to her demands, though there’s a fair amount of that. But research suggests that children need about 20 minutes per day of our undivided attention– getting down and playing with them on the floor and being wholly present with them. That’s not much. It leaves plenty of time to clean with an infant on your hip or check email while making encouraging sounds about block towers or doll tea parties. With that said, the ‘inexplicable dread’ is one of the worst and most guilt-inducing feelings I’ve experienced, so I suggest you keep writing and talking about it until it suddenly occurs as a distant memory.

  • MontanaGirl

    Feeling your pain. Well, not about the weekends. But about the grumpy baby. Our 9 month old is grumpy with teeth and is just now escaping the motion challenged phase.

    SERIOUS SUGGESTION: Baltic Amber Teething Necklace. Check it out. I swear by it. I kick myself for not putting one on my first kid and having to suffer through 20 excruciating teeth without one. If were were to blog about one of those top 10 things you need to get for your baby, this would be on that list. At the top. Seriously.

    Semi serious suggestion: I formally challenge you to a cute off: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/nEXEx05BtrCvI442v9pnxxpQNgY1-SgpmBCj5gIa3Do?feat=directlink

  • MeMyselfandMommy

    I can not tell you how much I can relate. Life without anxiety does not exist.I do not work from home, partially for that reason.

    I worked independently from home for awhile, and I am really bad at “turning it off.” I need to have a physical barrier between work and home. Even with that barrier, I am still a nut case. Vacations are the worst. The last few days of my vacation I am a total wreck because, “Oh sweet Jesus what is waiting to punch me the in the face when I walk in the door?” Or, “I am going to have worked piled up on my desk so high I will have to work 17 days straight just to catch up.”

    For me though, the stress and anxiety is so paralyzing that I can’t channel that energy into cleaning my house or running errands. I end up staring at the TV or sleeping because nothing else will get the voices in my head to shut the ef up.

    In turn, when I am at work, a lot of my time is spent thinking, “This is a waste of my time; I could be at home playing with my child and cleaning my house.”

    It’s a fatal cycle.

  • ewokmama

    No, not dumb. There is a reason I have a job outside the home…

    Also – have you cut down on nursing recently (sorry, can’t remember where y’all are at with that)? I always have depression at some level but it was noticeably worse when I cut down on nursing. So, just something to think about (especially if she is nursing less due to the teething).

    Also – my kid’s cry seriously makes me want to jump off a balcony. So I totally get why you would dread hours at a time with someone who is crying a LOT.

  • modchik

    I just had this conversation last night with my 12 yr old. He feels the depression creep up on Sunday afternoon and I tried to explain the irony that I feel the same way EVERY Friday.

    Its my inability to sit still that prevents me from enjoying the weekend. My 4 yr makes me want to run and hide. She too was inconsolable as a baby.

    Everything changed when she began to communicate. The more she could tell us the less suffering she put us through.

  • verbalicon

    Ah yes, the dreaded weekend! Glad I’m not alone … phew.

    Of course, I have only one Little Miss Kickboxer (so far), who as of late has been sick and feeling icky and refusing to learn how to walk and needy and “up” and more “up” and “mamamamamamamaaaaaa”–you get it. Then, there’s TBIK who will ask every Saturday morning, “So, what’s the plan for today/ this weekend?” As if I’m the entertainment director here … along with full-time wage earner during the week, of course. And maid. And seamstress, tax adviser, nurse. Ah well.

    So, I have accumulated staple activities that can fit together like pieces of a puzzle and that get us out of the house:
    - trip to the park, with bread for the ducks and a little bucket/ shovel for the sandbox. And the swing. If there’s enough wind, I will fly one of the kites in my trunk (I always keep at least 2 there).
    - trip to a little Disney-like town about half an hour away, with visit to the bookstore and the independent coffee house that makes a rockin’ spinach quiche.
    - trip to the Children’s Museum (only if it rains because that costs $$$).
    - round-trip hike at the nature park, where Little Miss Kickboxer gets to ride in the Kelty.

    All of these take an afternoon, aka about 2 hours plus 1-hour round-trip drive.

    If we don’t have that much time, there’s always grocery shopping, which LMK loves, or “driving” around the block in her little red car, or playing ball or whatnot.

    If it rains, we play the drinking game to The Wiggles. Whenever they sing “hot potato,” we take a swig from the good old raki bottle. Works like a charm.

    (I also bought _The Toddler’s Busy Book_ and will swear by it as soon as LMK decides she wants to walk by herself).

    All I can say is: Try to get a routine going. Routine has saved my sanity several times. Well, that and LMK’s giggles.

  • willibaldoea

    This makes perfect sense, Heather. I think when you lead such a hectic life, stopping seems like the worst thing to do, even if you’re not thinking it all the way through. Somehow, your thoughts don’t have to go that far back, because there’s a primal understanding that all that’s pushing you forward is your own momentum and the constant fear of falling behind. So, when you do consider stopping – even for a second – it scares you, because you don’t know that you’ll be able to get done; and by God are there things to get done!

    Chill, lady. You’ll be fine. But those toes. Those we will need to talk about some more. You must be studied!

  • marjorie the 7th

    Holy Christ! All the women I know, plus myself and my mother (rest in peace, but she is probably STILL doing something) are ALWAYS constantly go go go. Maybe it is genetics for me, but honestly I assumed ALL women were like this – the “not relaxing part”. Women are multi-taskers by nature. Google it, seriously. We may look peaceful and quiet at any given moment, but rest assured, there are LISTS being made and projects scheduled in our minds all the while we are wiping down a counter or diapering a child or dropping the browns off at the superbowl. In the infamous words of George Clinton, “I feel your pain, Heather.”….or was that Bill? I get them confused. Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah.

  • brandialane

    I feel the same way. It’s the anxiety. I have to make myself sit there and do nothing. It’s not easy.