• freckleface

    Oh! And that video of Marlo is SO cute, I almost died!

  • francond

    Please help me understand: You claim not to be able to afford health care benefits for the “right arm” employees who make your business possible. You just bought a four-story house for two adults and two children less than three feet tall. Wow.

  • Star

    Dude, upside-down swaddling. We have a SwaddleMe wrap I use. Just turn it upside down, swaddle arms with elbows bent. A little tricky but not as much as cleaning poop off a one-year-old’s hands. At first my son hated it, but now he just chills. (I’m afraid I might be giving him some weird fetish though.)

  • SusanCharmain

    Laughed until I cried!

  • acornsquash

    I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, but I liked it.

  • Emmy

    Poop’s never been so funny!

  • territorial

    I love my dog, but doggy diarrhea seriously makes me want to rethink his existence in my house from time to time. Sorry about the wall.

  • HDC

    Coco probably found a stale bobcat turd and set off the peristaltic chain reaction after partaking.

  • crikkett

    Guess it’s a good excuse to start picking out paint colors! Hilarious. Well, because I didn’t have to clean it up.

    I came home from work one day to a dog-shit horror show like this one. We lived in a tiny 600 sq.ft. cottage at the time, and as I walked into the door, two things happened: 1) I was overwhelmed by the stench, and 2) I stepped in a pile of it, conveniently left right inside the front door, slid, and fell. Right in the dog shit. If that wasn’t horrific enough – I discovered she’d hurled 3 or 4 times on our new microfiber sofa, and she’d even managed to shit all over a basket of clean clothes that were yet to be folded.

    But funny enough, my first reaction was to find the dog, give her a hug, and make sure she wasn’t dying. So I think I’ll be okay with dealing with motherhood one day. :)

  • jan001

    Oh, poor Chuck for obvious reasons. And poor Coco for being scared on his behalf. And poor you for the clean-up! I guess babies and animals do tend to inure us a little bit to poop.

    I lived for several years in a small place that had all marble tile floors. I also had a couple of cats who periodically did what cats do — barf. One morning, I stumbled from bed, stepped in it with my bare foot on that smooth slick floor.

    I did the Neutron Dance trying not fall, and I’m pretty sure I did a sit spin going past the bathroom door.

  • megnstuff

    my boys are in this wonderful never ending phase of taking off their diaper and smearing poo all over their room – I am talking carpet, walls, linens, toys, stuffed animals and of course each other.

    I sympathize with you and your poo crisis. And secretly I feel glad that I am not the only one battling poo!

  • sarahfromthenorth

    ok .. that imagery is pretty funny .. and I’ve lived it, except I was living in a house with a surface well that had gone dry. And my baby son had the runs …

    My coonhound/ridgeback 11 yr old mix is currently in his second bout of diarrhea in as many weeks and I’m freeeeeeaking out. He wakes us at all hours, and I used to just put him on the deck. But after 4 times of dragging out the pressure washer to clean the shit up I’m done with that .. so like this morning at 4 a.m. I just walk him .. do you KNOW how many people are UP at 4a.m .. good thing I put my pj pants on .. sheesh!

    Anyway .. PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY TIPS ON WHAT I CAN GIVE HIM TO STOP THIS SHIT .. PLEASE EMAIL ME sarahcl@bell.net .. I’m sooo done with it! btw .. we live near a sandpit and I’m pretty sure it’s from the water he drank there with my husband yesterday while I was on a girlfriends weekend up north .. just like he did two weeks ago. I guess there’s bacteria in the water hole.

    thanks for any ideas. The last bout lasted 4 days ..

  • lisdom

    I love that no matter how fancy your new house is, there will always be poop to “keep it real”, as the kids say.

    (and I still love that you got a new house, with all the struggle it took to get it.)

  • SuzRocks

    That is absolutely HILARIOUS. Only because it reminds me of when my dog (as a puppie), went doggie diarrhea all over my car. And then played in it. It was everywhere- the radio, the doors, the windows, the seats.

    Everywhere.

    I’ve suppressed that into the recesses of my memory it was so horrifying. It might be time to revisit it and write a post about it.

  • Fifi Coon

    Thank God your back!!! The people in my office are walking by wondering what in the hell I am laughing at!!!

  • luv and kiwi

    oh my…you are the master queen of pooh stories. luv it.

  • vintagejones

    Ok, first the little one climbing the stairs is the cutest thing ever!

    Second, I hope the Cocoa doesn’t eat the same thing… Because even though it would probably net the funniest post ever, I don’t wish 2 dogs with doggy diarrhea on anyone…

  • stufflife

    I can absolutely empathize with doggy messes. We had two dogs with uncontrollable…everything last weekend. It kind of ruins the moment.

    I was wondering when Coco got a last name. Sounds like she may have been bred in Japan, because she sounds related to Yoko.

    COCO ONO!

  • Granny Tammy

    As my mother would say, “Shit, oh dear”

    Thank you for my laugh everyday!

  • i.delia

    While moving across country we snuck our Rottweiler/Doberman mix into a hotel that didn’t accept dogs. My husband wrapped him in a blanket and carried him in like a sleeping child, albeit an ugly one.

    We thought we had really fooled the hotel until our dog had the exact same diarrhea problem Chuck did. Barely missed our then 18 month old, and sprayed all over the hotel bed.

  • lollynx

    Funniest story about dog shit in a four-story house I’ve read all afternoon.

  • missusclark

    Ah, poop stories! I love ‘em! I’m gonna do a dramatic recitation of this post to my husband over a glass of wine in the bed later.

    Also? Our twin girls turned five last week. Don’t miss the diaper wrestling one tiny, little bit.

    Lastly, we had gates and my girls still managed to fall down the stairs. Thank god they are carpeted. I truly believe 90% of a parents job is to try and keep the little darlings alive

  • vida23

    I just want to say that this blog is a joy to read (seriously). I almost always get a chuckle, sometimes a hearty laugh (this post), and it occasionally makes me a little teary. What an adventure! Isn’t life a blast?
    Congrats to your family on the beautiful new house!!

  • mommica

    Look, I know we all love our animals and they are family members and all that shit, but whose bright idea was it to let creatures who have no idea how to use a toilet live in our homes? I bet it took a long time for things to catch on.

  • Truthful Mommy

    I would say that your new home has been dually christened..by Marlo and Chuck! In my house, there ain’t no party like a poop party! It’s just par for the course of this mothering gig! You are good! If I had been surrounded by all that shit, I”m pretty sure I would have barfed. Baby poop, no problem.Doggie diarrhea? Well, we would have had to add Mommy vomit to the mix! I’ve had almost the exact day, but luckily for me it was of the urination variety. Hope everyone has fully recovered from the ordeal! I just thought, another title for this post could have been, In a shit storm, when it rains, it pours!:) Happy Mothering!
    http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com

  • Greta Koenigin

    Sorry about all the waste.

    I have to say that this reads like the Stand By Me Barf-o-rama. You made art out of this Poo Story.

  • agablack

    Ugh.

  • Wombat Central

    Puddles of Poop. Great name for a band.

  • agablack

    I can actually SMELL it all the way in LA.

    Ugh square.

  • dragonfish

    Soo….seriously disgusting, very hilarious and oh so darn real.
    ‘I shit and I stink, I’m real join the club!’

    I have had this smaller scale experience with a velveteen chocolate lab puppy, a camp site miles and MILES from water, and a car interior.

    I feel your pain, and thanks for sharing it with all of us in such an entertaining and funny way. Can’t wait to hear about the new paint colors!

  • Mogsie

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!

    **inhale***

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    oh, I’m DYING here ~ to freakin’ funny!!!

    “Oh that’s where we spray our dog shit!”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!

    I feel so bad for you ~ you poor girl … what a shitty way to start your day! (pun intended, yes… I know it is BAAD!)

    ~:-)

  • tallnoe

    I was looking dumbfounded at the page for several minutes after finishing. And then I said EW and started laughing.

    Sorry.

  • JennyP

    I basically choked on my own spit when I read, “Oh that’s where we spray our shit.”

    Last summer we moved into our first house and apparently that stressed out our shih tzu. Hmmm …shih tzu…shit, just making that connection now.

    Anyway, we bought a sisal rug from Pottery Barn and within TWENTY FOUR HOURS, the dog had insane rocket diarrhead on it. I called a million places only to be told by Stanley Steamer, “Sisal? No you can’t clean that. You’re not even supposed to get that wet.”

    A gallon of water and a pound of oxiclean later, I have a mostly clean but seriously misshapen sisal rug. And a dog I still love. Most of the time.

    PS I love reading everyone’s dog poop stories. Who doesn’t love a good poop story??

  • Becky Cochrane

    Can’t…stop…laughing. Chuck is now the Valedictorian of Poop.