• lesliepaige78

    i am curious what leta is doing during all of this. my daughter is 10 and when my son (age 4) is crying she just whines herself about all the noise and it makes it so much worse.
    all parents have been through days/weeks/months/years like these and feel your pain.

  • writtendad

    As a father of a six-year-old boy, I remember waking up each day and wondering how I was still alive. I know that it seems like Bobo is going to run you into the ground, but I’m happy to say that with the right balance of time and alcohol, you will make it through.

    Drink up.

  • Amy J.

    Wait a sec…you only had Marlo for the four day solo??

    Well, I felt bad for you, but now I do think you’re whiney, LOL.

    Try it with a precocious older child in the mix and then we’ll talk ; ).

  • ylime320

    My son (5) just watched that video of Marlo and said, “Mom, is that a baby? Is that baby CRYING? I do NOT like that. Can we play a game now? Mom, can we play a game? MOM! GAME!” Can’t wait to have number 2! Begin maniacal laughter.

  • Brainyest

    This is totally unrelated to this post but is in response to your eyebrow waxing comments.
    Have you tried threading? If not, you need to do it IMMEDIATELY!! It is AMAZING! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIeHYNt-rl4

  • curlsz

    everytime I get the slightest incling that I want a baby I’m going to play this video – on speaker mode…with the volumn all the way up. I think it should be played via loudspeaker in every high school right after prom

  • Christina_MT

    My sister always looked down on me with my three boys. Then she had her second daughter and that child is hell on wheels. She’s definitely more willful, stubborn, and just plain wild than any of my boys were. She and Marlo would get along famously.

    I’m really hoping that this new baby is another boy. A girl would be wonderful too, even if she is a maniac, but I’ve had good luck with boys so far. I think I’d like to stick with what I know.

  • misheru

    Poor sweet pea! So miserable. :(

    It’s always amazing how DIFFERENT siblings can be, when they come from the same parents. But this Bobo, I’m totally, secretly in love with her and her cracked tooth and her droopy pants and her ringworm. Just seems like family, is all I’m sayin’. Seems like my mother’s stepmother’s second husband Delmer has those same turquoise droopy pants, too.

    (And yes, I really do have a relative with that name, and he really is my mother’s stepmother’s second husband)

  • Jalima

    Nope, sorry :) Not one iota of sympathy as I HAD IT MUCH WORSE!!!

    Colicky son for 4 months (throw in a year of PPD while you are at it!) and then twins 4 years later. Hubby is a firefighter away 4 days out of 8. Wrangling and surviving kids on my own half the time is my life.

    Thank Gawd they are now 17 and 13 and the teen bitchiness is just settling in. Sigh. This motherhood gig is not easy is it?

  • jkrkmumma

    Poor, Poor Baby…and more importantly…Poor Momma!! Both of my boys have had hand/foot/mouth…TWICE!! We picked it up at an indoor waterpark at a hotel we stayed at in PA one year! Cool trip with lots of fun had by all until we got home!! The ones in the mouth are the worst…we did lots of tylenol and actually found a mixture of mylanta and something else that they swished in their mouths to help soothe the sores. Might not work so well with Marlo as she is not really of swishing age ;) Best of luck!!

  • Fall For Design

    Oh my gosh. She is so cute. She has grown so much!

  • fleuredeflorida

    Wow. God bless you woman, because hours and hours of that would make me homicidal.

    That’s so sad though, poor Bobo. I hope she gets better soon, for your sanity’s sake too.

  • Meredyth Willits

    I have to admit to you and the universe that I judged you ..and now it is biting me in the ass. I am again, being selfish and hoping that tell you, and said universe, that I am sorry and admitting my wrong will change the fact that NOW my 2 year old has decided to wake up for 2 days at 5 a.m….I think I told you to “grow some” and maybe even “be a real mom..” ug..gulp….
    So yeah, I suck, and I get it, and I will do my very very best not to judge you and your daughter and the way you deal with meeting 5 a.m., because I suck at it..big time.
    So there, you didn’t know I was judging you, but I did…oh, and you probably don’t care anyway.
    I have come to grips that anything I think about you is pure unadulterated jealously because i would die to have a blog following you as you do, but without you I would have never started a blog…EVER…I never even read a blog until two months ago…AFTER I started mine..
    so there it is I’ve repented my judgmental jealous ways, but I am sure you get it..I read your stuff…you are a smart person.
    May both of our rotten kids sleep till at least 8… amen

  • eleanorstrousers

    Poor miserable, wily little munchkin. At least her abilities to be evil while ill aren’t impacted. She’s a trooper. An evil, little trooper.

  • aslapintheface

    Oh please don’t tell me that she is one of “those kids” that Benadryl actually makes more hyper. I had one of “those”. It’s not pretty.

  • cindy gomez

    I have a boy and a girl. My son was a piece of cake compared to my little girl. As a matter of fact, she’s a lot like Marlo. She has the ability to walk into any room and find the most dangerous item in there.

  • Penelope

    I’m a single mom of a boy and it is CRAZY! Truly.

  • Penelope

    I’m a single mom of a boy and it is CRAZY! Truly.

  • HDC

    Oh hugs to you Penelope. I’ve got a four year old son but I’m not doing this single luckily. I get a taste of that hell every so often when the old man goes on business trips, as he did all of last week to Ber-effin’-lin. I don’t know how you single moms stay sane and/or out of prison. Many hugs to you all out there!

  • Missives From Suburbia

    Actually, my boy never did things like that. It’s my girl who holds all the evil genes in my offspring. It’s not really gender-specific. It’s Second Child Syndrome.

  • ErikaMSN

    I’m posting only to tell you that the ads when I read this had a big one for My American Girl–and to the right, under the Google links, there was a link to Anti Monkey-butt paste.

    You have no idea how happy that makes me.

  • fudgeit

    okay i’m *really* thinking about this. the very worst the boy is doing at the moment is learning to climb on to the kitchen worktop. sounds like you have it much more tougher right now. one of my nieces was *really* hard work as a child, but then you wrote similar stories about Leta. so you know, i guess we’ve all got our work cut out for us, innit.

  • wenhaver

    Hate to tell you, but you can’t trust the quiet ones either. My then-5 year old, who is the male Leta, decided he “wanted some air”, and opened a window. Which he promptly fell out. Did I mention he was on the 3rd floor, so he fell over 30 feet?

    He’s fine. My hair, on the other hand, is turning gray.

  • Pipsqueak

    My little girl just got over Coxsackie too. It’s awful! She had it all over her tongue too. I think that’s the worse case scenario for that disease! I feel for you! Just keep the ibuprofen and ice cream rolling!(for both of you)

  • Truthful Mommy

    You poor thing. I don’t have boys but I have 2 girls who roughhouse with their boy cousins and their 6’5″ Daddy and there is nothing that can stop these 2. They may look like princesses but are more rowdy than any boy I have ever met.Doing it on your own is rough. I speak from experience. Be glad you only have to do it for a few days. I don;t know how single Mama’s do it. I do it 5 days a week and like clock work, about once every 3 months, I have one monster meltdown! IT sucks.In fact I posted about a meltdown today! http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/10/oh-my-mommy-heart.html?
    Stay strong.Happy Mothering!

  • jess ica

    I have two boys, ages 4 and 2 who are much like Marlo. My oldest is curious and an explorer. My youngest tends to express himself through blood curdling screams.

    When my boys go to bed tonight, I’ll pour myself a large glass of wine and toast to you, Heather.

  • The Prima Momma

    Hugs and ice cream to Bobo, and hugs and WHISKY to you, Heather!

    I hope you’re both doing better soon soon soon.

  • Amy J.

    Awe…I know after hearing it for days on end it doesn’t have the same affect…but man alive her crying broke my heart. I know she must just be miserably in pain and just not know what to do with herself.

    Hand, foot and mouth BITES. I never even fucking heard of it before I had kids. And you can imagine with Sarah’s diabetes being thought to possibly be related to it, I really have a major distaste for the little bastard virus.

    I hope she gets better soon and you get some rest. Believe me Heather, I’ve had days on end just like that (as I know we all have as moms), so I feel your pain. You are so torn between exhaustion, frustration and plain worry that it just is mind bending.

    Hang in there and when you can, get out and get a drink!! Or two.

    Give Bobo a hug for me…her wandering around just not knowing what to do with herself in the video made my eyes tear up : (.

    LOVE that first photo by the way…I like how you’re playing with black and white lately!!! Nice work mama.

  • wenhaver

    Hate to tell you, but you can’t trust the quiet ones either. My then-5 year old, who is the male Leta, decided he “wanted some air”, and opened a window. Which he promptly fell out. Did I mention he was on the 3rd floor, so he fell over 30 feet?

    He’s fine. My hair, on the other hand, is turning gray.

  • Joy777

    3 month old…2 teeth…1 pissed off baby!

  • tokenblogger

    Boys? Oh, honey. That is TODDLER — DEFINED!

  • getupandplay

    Poor baby. Oh, and poor Marlo, too! You both survived the weekend and I hope this hell ends soon!

  • zanne

    i have 2 boys (now 19 & 23) and a girl (now 14). love them all thoroughly, ridiculously. but the truth is, as much trouble as the boys got into–our living room also had that spartan monk’s cell look for a while: no tables, no lamps, no picture on the wall behind the sofa; and then there was the moment when we told our 11-yr-old son he could only have ONE ER visit a year, so he better choose wisely; having a girl is harder. much, much harder. i can’t begin to tell you those horrors, you’d run away from home. have said since the start that even if she’d been my first child, she’d still be my last.


  • Mrs Jenna

    I thought you would like to know, as I watched the video of your daughter crying, my 1 year old daughter laughed at your misery.

  • Alison

    Love the Stephen King/Shawshank reference.

  • Allie

    Just FYI, I got the Shawshank reference, and I dug it.

  • euriphides

    My son was a piece of cake – it’s my daughter who does this kind of stuff. Maybe the person who said it’s second child syndrome is right – because I was nothing like this as a child, and I was first born. My brother, however…

  • Schnauzie_Mom

    Sweet baby jeebus, I don’t know how you parents do it. I really and truly don’t.

  • eco

    My oldest–when he was about 8 months old–squirreled away a screwdriver he’d found (I have no idea how). He’d hidden it in his bed, one of those very small, flat-head screwdrivers. And because his bed was near a light-switch, he used the screwdriver to take off the light plate. He’d not only figured out that the screws came out (at 8 months!!), but had found the right tool. God only knows what he’d have done if I hadn’t realized it was a little too quiet.

    A couple of weeks later, he figured out how to disassemble the baby-bed… while he was *still in it*. I heard a loud THUNK and some strange, muffled sounds coming from his room and when I got there, the bed was all at a slant, the sides having somehow wedged against each other with him stuck somewhere in the center. He thought it was a game and was waiting for the next thing to happen.

    When my philosophy professor (I’d gone back to school) tried to talk to me about Nietschze, I waved him off. “Nihilism is for sissies,” I told him. “Talk to me when he’s tried to convince a 9 month old that he cannot hammer a nail into my good sofa and then we’ll talk.”

    [That kid is now a SWAT police officer. Strange, but true. At least he decided to do something legal, for which I am profoundly grateful.]

  • c_kidman69

    I feel for you, my hubby is a firefighter and is gone for days in a row. I have 4 kids and it is hard. I am so happy when he gets home from his ‘stint’ in Ogden I sometimes have tears in my eyes. The coldsore thing is horriable, now for the rest of her life she will get them and you guys will figure out what triggers them. Some kids when they get stressed out get them, when they worry or things like that. Luckily there are pills that you can take when you feel them coming on and they help immensely. Unfortunatley for my son who does suffer from cold sores I can tell when school is stressing him out or he is lying, kind of like a built in detector.

    I totally get the single parenting thing. It is hard. Not a little bit hard, but like almost harder than child birth in my opinion. Hang in it will only get easier once she passes age 4, then it is easier to communicate.

    Thanks for your writings, there are days when I am being a single parent that I look forward to reading your blow.

  • kristi.demeester

    The good news about boys? They are LOUD about anything that they are doing. Usually, it involves a set of pliers and the dog/a younger brother.

    Girls on the other are sneaky little coots who will cut the short hair dog’s coat while you are in the shower and then wonder why the dog is bleeding.


  • adamsrice

    Oh dear lord. I would give you a hug right now. The video made me feel similar to that overwhelming moment when you bring a new baby into your house and have no idea what will make it shut up. So helpless.

    Also, what did you do to the universe to deserve such wrath?

  • Amanda81930

    Ok, I didn’t read all the comments to find out if someone already said this, so, sorry if I’m duplicating…

    @Dooce…I had those cold sores in my mouth as a young child, and the ONLY thing that I could drink (not only drink but actually helped them go away)…was grape juice mixed with sprite. I’m telling you…I know she’s still really little, but I’m telling you it worked!

    Just a suggestion that could potentially be helpful.
    Poor Bobo…

  • tullisjen

    I’m so sorry. There is nothing worse than a sick child that you don’t know how to help. Sending hugs and prayers for both of you. I hope she feels better soon.

  • Moomser

    Oh man, poor Marlo. My 2 year old son did the exact same – walking around crying but don’t you dare come near me, wait where are you going? don’t leave me – thing last april when he was sick with (I kid you not) scarlet fever and impetigo AT THE SAME TIME. I had just come home from a week in the hospital with my 4 month old girl… Oh, the joys of parenthood. At least now we can start a cache of video evidence to take out and show them when we’re old and codgery and they dare to complain.

  • subjectivitis

    Oh, poor baby! She just sounds miserable. I hope she feels better soon.

  • speakno

    This is the reason the phrase “Bless Her Heart” was coined. Tugging at my heart strings. Hope she feels better soon. Good luck.

  • amberdawn

    My son has always had the same sort of relentless energy. Before he could crawl he expressed it by complaining about not being able to crawl. After he could crawl he constantly pulled apart and ate his play mat and anything else he could get his hands on. He started running almost immediately after walking and learned how to jump at 18 months. He jumps on books, off the furniture, stands on top of everything, and bellyflops on the couch, no matter how much we tell him not to. He’s not quite two yet. Last week he jumped off of a ledge about two feet high into a sand pit (and totally landed it but scared the crap out of me). He thinks that running around the house as fast as possible with his eyes closed is funny. Today he climbed up on top of an teeny end table and then stood up and was like – LOOK AT ME I AM AWESOME!!!

    I was so impressed by his awesomeness that I burnt his quesadilla and filled the kitchen with smoke while I was rescuing him from it.

    Red wine. A big glass of it. And a bath. And crying.

  • jlhjla

    Your writing makes me laugh so hard sometimes that my husband asks me “Are you laughing or crying?” And between gasps of air, I’ll manage to say “Dooce!”, and he asks no more… I hope Marlo is feeling better ~ it’s so hard when there’s NOTHING you can do that will make them happy.

  • Lene

    You have my sympathy. You really, really do (as does Marlo, the poor kid). Still, I couldn’t help but laugh as she hands you her toy with an air of “here. Hold my stuffie while I kvetch.”

    does the fact that Marlo had the wherewithal to do something she’s not supposed to mean that maybe she’s getting better?