God, I love you Heather!!

If I ever make a visit to SLC it will have to be in the winter so that I can enjoy marvelous snow after snow after snow.

And I'll try not to think of how you may be in peril because of effing snow after snow after snow...

I used to dread taking our two little ones out to eat. It felt like I was participating in a game show during which two atomic bombs disguised as children had to constantly be tended to in order to keep them from detonating and taking out the whole damn restaurant. Which is to say: There was nothing relaxing or enjoyable about going out to eat.

And oy vey with the "taking turns" thing. My wife and I would see each other only on the car ride to and from the establishment.

Our kids are almost-6 and almost-8 now, and they mostly behave perfectly when we go out to eat. It was well worth the effort of training them ... and we did it without ever threatening them with a lie about a restaurant employee whose sole purpose was to take ill-behaved children and shove them in a trash barrel ... which is what my parents would tell my siblings and I. Yes, really. So that sort of explains the therapy and the meds.

I never comment b/c you get so many. BUT - we just recently had our first successful outing where we left and did not immediately stop for beer on the way home. My youngest will be 3 in May. I'm not trying to discourage you with a timeline of how long it will take before you can enjoy a peaceful outing, I am just showing you it does end...EVENTUALLY.

My husband and I were scared to discuss how well it was going WHILE we were there because we were afraid we'd jinx it. But when we left we were all, "HOLY CRAP. IT WORKED. PEACEFUL DINNER! WITH THE KIDS! WOO HOO!"

Ha! I used to always say that my daughter could turn even the nicest restaurant into Denny's in 5 seconds flat! Now she's almost 14- is a pro at always ordering something that is NOT ON THE MENU! Usually pasta with butter and cheese... even at Mexican places.
Good luck!

I burst out laughing at the crayon in the coffee causing everyone in the previously silent office to turn and stare.

I think they may be on to the fact that my work is not that amusing.

Thanks for the laugh.

Sounds like a pending piece of art with the next B.M.

I find crayons add a little something "extra" to coffee. Aren't kids so kind?

Our kid refused to go out to eat until we figured out to sit in a booth with no booster seat and let her stand up the entire time. We also take a big bag o' toys with everything from crayons to playdoh. We call her the red menace.

I never knew there were so many banana haters in this world.

I am in the same place as you... The past two weekends, we've taken our two (similar ages) out to sushi restaurants. On the first outing, our daughter had a coughing fit so bad I had to take her outside, and right as I returned, our baby poked himself in the mouth with a chopstick, lauching a fit. At the second outing, my baby was poking another woman in the rear with chopsticks while my daughter talked loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear. I was starting to feel like we weren't effective in teaching manners, but you've made me feel like perhaps it's more the kids' fault, and us parents are the victims.

Love it!

Oh, I loved this! We have three girls are the older two were NUTS. We'd consider it a success if they lasted 11 minutes at a buffet before we had to leave. They're getting slightly better with age (now they're 4.5 and 2.5) but we rarely bother eating out with them. Why pay good money just to feel anxious and frustrated and to have to eat in shifts while your spouse runs laps chasing the rabid badgers?

Bwahahahahahaha... the crayon! I die.

ha! that crayon made me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit. noted!