• casey dunne

    “A walking queef”. Wow. I have never wanted children, but I’m considering it now that I have the potential to yell this in their faces.

  • kmpinkel

    Walking Queef! Love it! I was hoping we would have heard a “pull my finger” from Marlo, though….

  • cattail722

    Dude, my Dad thought it was hilarious to fart out loud when I was growing up. He was never embarrassed by it. But I must say, he embarrassed me quite often, farting in public.

  • http://www.tokenblogger.com ɯoɔ˙ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ

    Heather, you are 39 now. You do not fart. Your children just heard a barking spider. (Miss lee says so!)

  • Dana B

    This post was the funny.

  • Teal

    My family was always loud & proud about our bodily functions, as is my husband. The couple that farts together, stays together, right? ;)

  • Amy

    Look, all I’ve got to say is this: here in the south, “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” Because where I live, that rhymes. Yeah.

  • Meghan

    Have you had Marlo tested for Celiac? We dealt with years of constipation until my son was diagnosed.

  • RzDrms


  • Jo D

    My brother has got the fart-denial down to an art. As soon as the pffpptbbt escapes his butt, without breaking stride in a sentence he goes “it was you” and then continues on. It’s so smooth you nearly believe it indeed WAS you who farted. He’s also an internationally ranked debater… so he can talk real gooder than most folk.

  • Jo D

    Since Heather had such a poo problem until going paleo, maybe Marlo would benefit from a similar diet/restriction?

  • http://www.thekriegers.org tomamanda

    we grew up hearing “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit!”
    maybe that’s the virginia backwoods adaption.

  • Heather

    I’ve loved you for many years, but the love is insurmountable after reading this post.
    “Walking queef.” I will never, ever, ever stop laughing.

  • Jen Moore


  • Beth Rich

    I am so going to use walking queef to embarrass the hell out of my 15 year old.

  • Anne

    You have never met small children and their eating habits, have you?

  • Heather Armstrong

    Yeah, it’s less about what she’s eating and more about the fact that she won’t eat. She goes through phases. And when that phase is “not touching anything that could potentially put calories in my body” I have to be on top of at least keeping her hydrated.