• LaFawne

    You do have a way with words! I might not agree with your life choices ( I know! Imagine that!) but I do indeed like your stories for one simple reason. I CAN SEE what is happening as I read. That is the hallmark of a good story teller, in my book. If I only see words on a page, that story is dull and will not keep my interest. But If I can see the action in my head like a movie, then I know that is “some darn good writin’ right there!”. Keep on keeping on, please!

  • jawnbc

    Epic.

  • Mary W

    Do not EVER let anyone shame you about having a landline. STFU people! We were called on our landline at 5:30 am by the Sheriff’s robo call informing us that ” 2 armed men were “in our area”. Lock all your windows and doors. STAY INSIDE!!” Nice wake up call. Only people with landlines got the call that this was happening right across the street. One of the armed and dangerous robbers ran through my friend’s backyard!! If you had cell only you were SOOL! (Shit Out Of Luck). There’s more to the story than you will ever know so don’t assume or jump to conclusions. Stop judging! You just don’t know!

  • http://kyoodled.blogspot.com Annie B (Kyoodled)

    Really…F those people. I am a divorced mom and I totally get it. I don’t care that I’ve been divorced 11 years now, I still long for my children whenever they are with their dad…and holidays without them (which I admit, and am thankful that those are only half-a-day at most) KILL ME. It’s no different than when I have to travel for work! It’s like having half my heart gone. I love your blog now that you’re not blogging anymore.

  • LashleyR

    I hope your forthcoming memoir (titled /Mean Shit Internet People Say/, I presume) will have a special chapter for “Innovative and Unnecessary Backhanded Compliments.”

  • Hoosiermama

    My adult children, their spouses and grandchildren all live within 10 miles of us. On holidays when they spend them with their spouse’s families, I still feel melancholy that they aren’t here. I don’t begrudge their in-laws at all (we’re all friends–small town, ya know?), but it just doesn’t seem like a holiday if they aren’t here.

  • deb

    Brilliant!

  • KimFunk

    So glad you shared the tip toeing secret. I have a sort of land line. I mean, can you call Magic Jack a landline when it works through the internet? My satellite connection requires a phone line. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I received my internet by satellite. Would the time/space continuum be distorted? Life was so much simpler in the olden days of 1982.

  • http://www.woogsworld.com/ Mrs Woog

    No chamber pot indeed. Lots of love lady x

  • Richard Morey

    I have a landline too!

  • Cassandra Marie

    Well I got rid of my landline because it was hooked to a fax machine that I’m pretty sure spewed radiation all over me, so I’m probably crazier than you. :)

  • happygolucky7

    I don’t read your blog to judge your life choices. I read it because you’re an amazing writer. Although if I had to say anything about it, it probably would be “you do you.” Seems to be working, and you’re entitled to feel whatever the fuck you feel. Goddamit, internet.

  • K.t. Moreis

    This was brilliant. I could just see you standing out there, the wall of sound pushing at the door, the kid clad only in her unmentionables experiencing flight in the living room, and the ear-shattering serenade of Coco as she sings the song of her people. Awesome.

    Holidays without kids… You never quite get used to it, so don’t try. Even though mine are grown and spending the special days at work or with in-laws, I still miss them. (My secret to getting through the season is to erase the holidays on the calendar, and move them to whatever date I can get everyone over. Works for me and my darlings, but not everyone I know digs it).

    This year, I’m spending the holidays with my parents. Dementia and incontinence with a side of IBS. You know, I may not have time to miss the kids.

  • Michael Mathews

    I have two landlines. It isn’t that expensive. Cable is expensive. People who think it is dumb can stuff it.

  • Sarah Close

    We had horrible cell service at my old house. We got a network extender from Verizon. Now I only drop calls if the internet’s out. Which is a pain if I’m trying to call to get the internet fixed.

  • Elizabeth Slaughter-Ek

    This is the reason I still read you.

  • http://www.yourfridayafternoondistraction.com/ Joanne z Filmlady

    Yes. <3

  • Erin

    I love that you blog in your post-blogging days. Also, I will remember this post when a day in my life starts to make my eyelid twitch. I will remember it and think “hey. I’m not alone in the mania!” as my irish setter version of Coco is shrieking at the Fedex guy who knocked on the door 35 seconds before they started testing the fire alarm in my building while I’m on a conference call with a bunch of important, high-up banking guys in business suits whose datamart I support.

    I don’t have children, but I would hate spending holidays without them. I hate spending holidays without my dog and I think being without children would be exponentially worse. I hope you have a nice time in NYC, though.

  • Marie McDowell

    This post was brilliant. And I totally get where you are coming from. I have been a divorced single mom, and my kids are 23 and 20, so you think I would get used to it by now. But they were at their dad’s last Thanksgiving and my other extended family were all out of town as well, and that was the worst day of my life. So, yeah, you aren’t alone in feeling like you do. Tell all those other idiots to F Off.

  • Susan

    Ditto..

  • Vbrowne

    “make sure that if their feelings are hurt or if they are irreparably tired or if they’re just feeling down that someone is holding them tightly and catching their tears with the skin on their own face.”

    So evocative, “catching their tears with the skin on their own face.” I think this is an image I will keep forever, thank-you!

  • onthegomom

    Whoever tells you that it gets easier is fucking delusional… I have two grown boys (in their twenties) and my daughter, whom is a Senior in high school. When we aren’t all together for holidays or anything really, I’m sad. Period. I always will be.

  • leatitia

    The only holiday of the year when I don’t have my son is New Year and it’s killing me every year. Just that one day, I long for him and feel like crying all day long.

  • leatitia

    My landline is $10/ month. I keep it for the peace of mine when someone babysit my son.

  • KDW

    It’s been my experience that daily chaos is par for the course for everyone. “Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” (author unknown/not specified) Your entry does seem like a bit of a rant, which is not the most enjoyable reading, therefore I read sparingly.

  • Raquel

    Me too! It hasn’t gone the way of the dinosaur just yet.

  • Lauren3

    Lovin the truth bullets, baby

  • Pam Graves Kortan Day

    For the first few years, every time my kids left to go to with their dad for a holiday, I cried. The first holiday was Easter, and we’re not even religious, but I sent them off in Easter finery to have a fancy dinner that I was not a part of. So bullshit on everyone who says placating things when really, your heart is just cracking apart.

  • Angela

    I wish there were posts like these daily! You still crack me up and now that I am expecting my first child I am going back to read your archives <3

  • Desiree Johnson

    Fuck the judgers! They don’t know you or your life. They just think they do and like to stir the shit pot! We love you just the way you are and enjoy your posts knowing that some is possibly exaggerated. JUST DO YOU!