the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Settle the Score

My husband seems to think that “crayon,” as in “Crayola Crayon” is pronounced “cray on,” as if it were two words, like “go put the cray on the table.”

And we all know that it’s not two words.

The correct pronunciation of “crayon” is “crown,” as in “gimme the brown crown.”

Now that we all agree, I’m going to sleep.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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