the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Right in the middle of the bedtime story

“The clock struck twelve, so Cinderella ran out of the palace, down the stairs, and out—”

“Wait, wait. You’re not supposed to run in school.”

“I don’t think Cinderella is in school at this particular point in the story.”

“But if she runs in school, she would get a time-out.”


“I’m better at school than Cinderella. I don’t ever run in school.”

“That’s awesome, Leta. Keep up the good work.”

“So I think you should let me have ice cream for breakfast.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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