the smell of my desperation has become a stench


We’re back! From one of the most spectacular weeks of our lives! And I’m going to write a completely useless sentence just so that I can include one more exclamation point in this paragraph!

We went to Mexico, but since I want to write about it and show it to you in detail, I want to hold off a second in terms of telling you exactly where we went. I haven’t taken this many photos in years, and it felt so invigorating to be so inspired, so much so that I didn’t care that it was snowing last night as our plane landed in Utah. I mean, I didn’t even have the urge to jump up in my seat before the fasten-your-seatbelt light was off, jerk off my pants and flash my ass to the runway! Exclamation point!

But since we’ve been gone for over a week, today is one of those bricks-hitting-you-in-the-face kind of days. We’re getting back into the swing of things, brushing up on “parenting,” like making sure one of us remembers to pick up Leta from school. I’m the one who got her there, so all my thinking’s done, JON.

So I’m off to tie up some crazy ends, and then tonight I have a date with Photoshop who said it was going to kiss me with tongue.

In the meantime, here’s what Marlo looks like when she wakes up from a nap:

Marlo after a nap

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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