the smell of my desperation has become a stench


photo of Coco by Heather B. Armstrong for

I promise I don’t do this to her on purpose. I just have horrible aim and take a lot of pleasure in her pain.

I threw this thing for a good half hour the other night, and in that timespan it got stuck in two different trees and once on the roof. My dad never taught me how to throw. FROWNY FACE.

Here I let her figure out how to knock it down, and I thought that all the running and mental energy used to solve this puzzle would make her sleep past 6AM. Wrong. WRONG. The dog was whining like a baby at 6AM the next morning. The animals are going to love her on that farm I’m sending her to.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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