the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Christmas came really early

Saturday night Anna Beth’s intern threw together an extravagant dinner of root vegetables, salad, and lamb. Just, POOF! A meal. A delicious meal that fit squarely into my diet. So delicious, in fact, that I let the dogs lick the plate that had been holding the grilled lamb. I don’t let the dogs do this much anymore because they like to gift you their farts afterward, and you know what? I’ve got plenty of farts with two kids, guys, I don’t have any room for more.

Guess what? They gifted me their farts.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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