the smell of my desperation has become a stench

What idiot thought this was a good idea?

Marlo saw skates on one of the characters in a show she watches and has been asking me to get her skates for weeks. I guess I’ve been standing a little too close to the microwave all these years because my brain melted and I bought this kid skates. WTF? Seriously? Heather (yes, I’m referring to myself in the third person all Kanye-like), don’t take this the wrong way, but you be cray.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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