the smell of my desperation has become a stench

An instant bond

Today is this guy’s birthday. When he met Coco he got duped into throwing that ball for her over and over again, instantly winning her heart forever. Now he asks about her all the time, worried that no one is throwing the ball with her on a daily basis. He’s talked about how if she were his dog he’d take her to the beach every day not knowing that she’d immediately run after, bite, scream at, terrorize, and eventually drive every living thing on that beach to file a lawsuit.

I’ll throw the ball for her today, Matt. Happy birthday. xo

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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