the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Santa’s Little Helper’s Helper

If I didn’t stop her, she’d lick his collar for hours. God knows why she does it, but he is so resigned to the fact that she exists that he won’t turn to her and make it known that she is not welcome here. So it’s up to me (you can see it in his eyes that it’s up to me) to make her knock it off. And that usually involves me saying something in a high-pitched voice about all the sheep! They’ve gone missing! WHERE’D THEY GO? Or, you know, calling her an asshole.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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