the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The better to humiliate you with

My mother took both girls to Deseret Industries again so that they could pick out a whole bunch of stuff that I will now have to order them over and over again to pick up off of the floor and find a place to store it. Except there is no more space. Because we have all of the stuff. Every piece of stuff. Can’t find your stuff? Your stuff is here. You’re welcome.

Marlo picked up these glasses while she was there OF COURSE SHE DID. So naturally I performed my calling in life. You’re welcome.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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