the smell of my desperation has become a stench

My dapper dude

I bought this scarf a week before I left for Haiti and sprayed it and all my other clothing with a heavy-duty insect repellant. I got it on the cheap at Forever 21 thinking I’d probably get it dirty or mangled on my trip, but when that didn’t happen I started wearing it every day. It’s not very warm, but I don’t live in Edina, Minnesota where my friend Carol took a screen shot of the weather app on her phone yesterday and sent it to me to give me a heart attack. -22 degrees? Feels like -45? No. No, thank you. I will remain here with the warm Mormons.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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