An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

My beautiful destroyer

Coco has demolished approximately 4,200 tennis balls in the last year, chewing them into tiny pieces that she’d leave in corners around the house. I finally stopped the idiocy and quit buying more tennis balls after stumbling across this toy in some storage box in the basement. I forgot where it came from, but she has yet to puncture it or carve its outer edges. It keeps her occupied outside when we’re all trying to relax and do not want to throw an item for her to fetch YET ONE MORE TIME. She’s crazy and I often shout horrible words after she’s bolted out the front door to herd a jogger, but she’s family. And she’s gorgeous.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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