the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Listen. I know it looks like it’s been years since Chuck had his nails trimmed. We’ve discussed this before. You don’t even notice the impersonation he’s doing of Gene Simmons because, my god, look at those unkempt nails. When, in fact, he had them trimmed last week. Must be all those prenatal vitamins he’s taking.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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