the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Baby for breakfast

My cousin McKenzie and her daughter Maeve came up this weekend to spend some time with me and the girls. Would you look at how big this kid is compared to this time last year? She really is one of those babies that would even make the most cynical, most snooty “it’s so gross when people talk about wanting to eat babies” kind of person stop and go, “Oh my god I want to eat that baby.” When you’re around her and witness the delight she gets from being alive you seriously want to consume her. She makes you feel like you’ve been locked inside a dark tunnel and she is the light bursting inside to reach in and lift you out.

I mean, look at Chuck. He could not possibly be more of a curmudgeon, and even he is like OH MY GOD I WANT TO EAT THAT BABY. He left his dungeon in the basement to follow this kid around and soak in her joy.

What a gift, that kid. Thank you, McKenzie, for reproducing.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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