the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Fifth grade math homework, dear lord. I am daily googling “the hell am I supposed to do with this fraction????”

I got straight A’s in math throughout elementary school and high school, but all these years of pain journaling have robbed me of everything I learned. But here’s the thing… THE THING… I recently asked a freakishly brilliant student at the University of Utah who is majoring in metallurgy just what fifth grade math is supposed to prepare our children for and he said, “Absolutely nothing. Except more math homework.”

So young and so wise, that one.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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