the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Keeping watch over her flock

Marlo made it through the weekend without a midnight visit to the ER, thankfully, but she’s still too sick to go back to school. So sick that she just said to me, “I want a robotic robot that transforms into an ice cream truck that I can drive around in and it will smell so good.”

Yeah. We call this “being out of your effing gourd,” kid.

Coco has taken up residence on the floor next to her sick camp on the couch and routinely sits up to check on her. Where’s Chuck? Organizing his belly button lint collection in the basement.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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