• http://wisdominmadness.wordpress.com dani

    Aha! Thanks for explaining your house. I have been coming up with all sorts of floor plans that put your bedroom in the basement but show a surprising amount of light in all the pictures.

  • Kate

    While you may not be able to get past the dancing fetus you’re currently housing, you are looking gorgeous!

    Also, I LOVE THAT YOU ROARED AT AN OBNOXIOUS CHILD!! Makes me want to get pregnant just so I can do that, too.

  • http://daddyscratches.com Daddy Scratches

    Heather, *PLEASE* tell me you’re planning to wear that blue American Apparel body suit with the leg warmers for your next pregnancy-update photo …

  • http://www.margaretslifeintransition.blogspot.com Margaret B

    You’re looking cute! I have a 33 week photo on my blog. Has she “dropped” yet? Mine did over the last weekend… crazy! Only 7 weeks to go!

  • http://figcookies.blogharbor.com Caren

    You look amazing!! I am very jealous, because I will never look that good pregnant or not. Congrats!

    PS. What about the names, Abigail, Sophia, Claudia (pronounced Cloud-ia not Claude-ia) or Elizabeth, for Not-Maria?

  • Livia

    Nope, Coco and your neighbor’s Aussie are not unique cases. I have a Mini Aussie and she is about as neurotic and insane as a dog can be. If she were human, she’d be a supermodel, which is the problem with Aussies. They’re so damn pretty.

  • https://www.speedosarmy.blogspot.com Julie Wood

    I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking it was weird for you to have to go upstairs to eat.

  • Ingrid

    Love today’s post—although you are awfully brave posting certain material—I expect you’ll be getting a lot of hate mail/comments about this–and I’m not talking about the mormom thing. I’m talking about you saying you don’t recommend miniature australian shepherds. Personally, I don’t care either way, but I’m expecting a lot of commentary from the “you’re doing it wrong and I know how to do everything right” peanut gallery.

  • http://www.ickis.com Julene

    I cannot stop laughing at your answer to the “funny Mormon underwear” question. My godparents are Mormon and live in Utah–the first time I related my knowledge of temple garments to a friend they were sure I was making it up.

  • NeoCleo


    You look wonderful despite how you say you feel. In fact, you look better than I and I’m not pregnant!

    Looking forward almost as much as you I think to meeting your second child. I’ve been a reader since I heard you interviewed over 7 long years ago on NPR and was driven to look you up on the internet.


  • http://girlbert.com Lisa

    Hahahaha on the ceramic roosters! My brother and I stand to inherit thousands of Volkswagen toys, all in their original packaging. I’m jealous of your roosters…

    But I may be even more jealous of your ability to scare the crap out of obnoxious children. You work your pregnant belly!

    Thanks for giving me something to giggle about today!

  • Erin

    you are actually far more AT&T than pepsi, but whatever, you look fab!

  • http://yellow-trash-diaries.blogspot.com Yellow Trash Diaries

    I think the new maternity clothes are so cute-I still occasionally buy something out of the maternity section at Target. My daughter is now 2.(I have a big ‘ol gut. My husband told me that sometimes at night when he can’t sleep and is bored he plays with my belly. I have not had a decent night’s rest since that confession.)

  • Amy

    I am 32 weeks pregnant too, and I completely feel your pain. My feet look like stuffed sausages–seriously, couldn’t this have happened during my first pregnancy, when I didn’t already have a 2-year old to chase?! You look fabulous. Congrats!

  • http://myfamilygossip.blogspot.com/ Crystal D

    Could be worse… you could look like the Pepsi logo and have a 7 month old.

    I am going to be wearing last summer’s maternity shirts this summer cause I am totally not going to buy regular clothes this large.

    Anyway, you look pretty great, just ignore that little punk.

  • http://3charmedones.blogspot.com Jacqueline

    Super Cute!

  • http://danielle-leftyloosy.blogspot.com Danielle

    Nah, you don’t look like a Pepsi bottle. But you do look put out by having your picture taken. :)
    Ceramic roosters? Wow! You’re lucky! I will be inheriting lots of candleholders and my younger sister.

  • http://mybeststressmanagementtips.com/ Foever Young

    You looking great…
    I now have 7 grand kids (3 month to 14 year) from my 3 kids (35 to 44)….
    I feel younger now than I did when i was 30…
    Something to looking forward too.. Life is what one decide it to be…

    I tune up my muscles just by running energy in that direction, and so it is..
    And I have another secret too…

    All the best,

  • A. Berkoski

    What I want to know is where you find a plain white wall that big in your house.

  • http://beyondthewindow.wordpress.com beyond

    i’ve seen a few houses with kitchens upstairs, it’s not all that strange, especially if you use your imagination. do you think that kid in leta’s class is scarred for life? and most importantly: you look beautiful. non-pregnancy clothes really become you.

  • http://www.monkeythoughts.com Monkey

    Can’t resist the obvious joke…
    That’s a lot of cocks.

  • http://beckycochrane.livejournal.com Becky

    Can NOT stop laughing at your last sentence.

  • http://theb-line.blogspot.com Amy

    Ahhh…thanks for the clarification regarding your “basement”. I was just in Salt Lake City a few weeks ago and wish I had paid more attention to the houses. I do seem to remember seeing more “one-story” abodes in the more elevation part of the city. Shoulda snuck around back!

    I can totally imagine myself roaring at the little kiddo just like you did, by the way. But you, huge? I’m sure I’d be larger at 4 mos! You look fantastic.

  • http://1bigchaotichappyfamily.blogspot.com/ CraezieLady

    Good to know. I was kinda wondering about the kitchen upstairs thing, but I assure you, I was not on the verge of tears over it :) Also, all this time that I’ve been reading your website, I thought you kidding about the heavenly underwear! It never occurred to me that it really existed – I thought you just made it up! I like how the faq’s on mormomstudies.net says that some people call it magic underwear. I think I’ll go buy some panties with a trippy pattern and call it my magic underwear!

  • http://alwayscrazyamy.blogspot.com Amy

    Hey, i live in Utah to, pretty much for the same reason you do. My sons grandmother would KILL ME if we lived anywhere else.
    So i suck it up in mormonville. Nice to know I am not alone.

    And you look AMAZING!

  • Mike

    Well, I have to go upstairs from the bedroom to the living room, dining room and kitchen in my house, too. It’s a split-level and multi-level townhouse built on a hill.

  • http://www.highlandscotherns.blogspot.com Kaylyn

    You look absolutely stunning.

  • Mel

    Pepsi logo or not, you look great! At this stage in my LAST pregnancy, I taught my 11 1/2 year old to start the car for the same reason you want grocery shop in your panties. Too much damn work getting in & out of the car contorting! Good luck your last 8 weeks!

  • http://www.parsingnonsense.com Parsing Nonsense

    You look beautiful, though it can’t be terribly comfortable having that much baby in your innards. I have to admit, the idea of growling at a child has never crossed my mind. However, if said child had been rude my kid before, I would probably growl too.

    Regarding the mini Australian Shepherds…You can’t remove what was never there.

  • http://www.repliderium.com repliderium.com

    Mormons scare me a little. Especially when mentioning that weird underwear thing.
    Nightmares, here I come. Thanks a lot Dooce.

  • http://www.bucky4eyes.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    I really wish you hadn’t definitively answered the heavenly underwear question; you’ve singlehandedly crushed all my Mormon sex fantasies. Now how will I occupy myself on Saturday nights?

    Oh, and it’s not just the mini Aussies – I had a regular-sized Aussie (my ex-husband has custody now) and he is completely and utterly batshit crazy. Uh, I mean that in the nicest way.

  • http://www.cluckandtweet.com Alison (aka Cluck and Tweet)

    I’m impressed that you have a choice not to wear maternity clothes. That just was not even a possibility for me. Had you been working out when you picked up Leta? Because I think just wearing the clothes counts for something.

  • http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=50106 Lotta

    Ah, the increased fatigue. That would be directly related to old-assness. I experienced the same thing with my second child. I fear birthing the third we so badly because of the old-assness tired-ass syndrome that awaits me.

  • Lynn

    I SO hope the story about scaring the child is true. The image in my head is priceless. A tip for your swollen feet… A girlfriend of mine got so swollen she had to leave work 2 months early because she could no longer put on shoes. It was recommended to her by a mid-wife that she find a pool and stand in it for as long as she could take it. She didn’t have access to a pool so she wasn’t able to try it, but from what I’ve read about it, it works pretty well for some people.

  • Jessica

    You look so good! I remember the ‘home stretch’ it took FOREVER!!
    Don’t feel too bad about scaring the kid. A girl(she was 8) who bullied my daughter(age 6) got scared of my Halloween costume, and even though I could see she didn’t like it, I still lunged at her and made her scream. I like to think of it as the mama bear instinct. That or we’re just mean :-D

    Had a dream last night that you went into labor and I was at your house(boy I sound creepy huh?) and you made me stay there in a single room for 2 weeks watching coco. Its a miracle I didn’t wake up crazy(er).

  • http://lacienciacohete.wordpress.com Bea

    I am not seeing the resemblance to the Pepsi logo…but you’re not THAT huge.

  • http://thecitycradle.com Thecitycradle

    You look great.

    I can completely relate to how the stairs become a very evil, intimidating enemy during the third trimester! Great job fighting the enemy…

  • http://1bigchaotichappyfamily.blogspot.com/ CraezieLady

    Oh, wait, I stopped reading too soon – the BEST part of the mormonstudies.net faq page is this:
    “Plenty of Mormons have been injured and killed while wearing their magic underwear.”
    If that doesn’t make you pee in your pants from laughing so hard, well, then maybe I’m just Craezie!

  • RH

    Nine months isn’t that long when you think of it in terms of a prison sentence. Hang in there!

  • http://scrappinjenny.blogspot.com Jennifer

    I gave birth to my only child 13 years ago and I don’t look as good as you do.

  • http://elephantsoap.com Cindy

    I think that was a totally appropriate response to the little kid. You look amazing!

  • Sarah

    Funny post! I was one of the criers, so thanks for clarifying. I remember this time of my pregnancy being very similar. I was so uncomfortable and putting on pants was such a chore, the I too considered shopping in my panties. I guess the populace should thank my husband for doing the shopping himself. With his pants on.

  • http://peace-inthe-storm.blogspot.com Elda

    You look great! I LOL’ed at the answers to your FAQ’s.

  • http://www.mommica.com Mommica

    Next time Leta’s classmate picks on her, you should visit the school again and tell her all about child birth, and how it only happens to mean little girls.

  • Adrienne

    You look absolutely beautiful!

  • http://www.tbonelee.blogspot.com Jess

    Since it seems that you get your fair share of snarky comments on your blog and that it’s a rare occasion that I get here before the comments are closed i thought I would take the opportunity to tell you how great you look pregnant!

    Also…I think someone up there in the comments told you have a pancake ass. Not that I’m tattling…I’m just saying…..

  • Sara Joy

    I’m 34 weeks – my belly is twice the size of yours and so are other various body parts which are causing me high anxiety. However, apparently my feet are still half the size of yours, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain ;) .
    I actually had to comment though because I NEVER.
    Thought that putting on pants could be so much stinking work and I about fell out of my chair when I read this post because that is so my life right now.
    Only my husband isn’t as well trained, he still has the nerve to chuckle when I sigh and pout at the though of having to wrestle myself into my clothes for the day.

  • http://www.greggdigressions.blogspot.com Melessa

    I’m just a few weeks behind you in my pregnancy and I also had a bit of ‘moment’ with a little girl at pre-school who is snippy with my daughter when I picked her up an hour ago. It wasn’t one of my finer moments either, but I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who does things like that. (And I have to admit, it was kind of fun. In an “I’ll show HER to mess with my little girl…” way.)

  • http://www.littlebabyfeet.blogspot.com Sarah

    I love you, your blog, and your belly. You’re beautiful. No, I’m not a lesbo. Cheers.

  • http://www.teetotaled.com teetotaled

    Your teeny belly is adorable. I am allowed to call your belly teeny because I am 30 weeks preggo and I look like I am having triplets compared to you :-) Not that I am complaining because all of the weight goes right to my belly instead of all over the dang place…it can always be worse, right!?

    May I share with you my new pregnancy delicacy. One of the baristas at Starbucks recently turned me onto the strawberry and creme frap…knowing I love lemonade she added some lemonade to it before it was mixed. No caffeine…HEAVEN!