• Bronwyn

    See, now we need a survey to see how many of us have a dominant boob.

    Righty here is a solid, overstuffed DD. Lefty’s a C.

    I’m lucky I can walk in a straight line.

  • Anonymous

    RE: episodes aired – some of us aren’t from the US and therefore haven’t had the episodes aired yet!

  • Heather

    I was so “blessed” with milk that if I saw a puppy (not even kidding), my milk would let down. If I saw an emotional commercial (long-distance calling plan, anyone?), my milk would let down. Basically anything that provoked an “awww, that’s cute” or “aww, that’s sweet” response resulted in milk everywhere.

    And oh, man, I remember how exciting it was to go to the grocery store by myself. FREEEEEDOM!!!

  • Sarah

    HA HA HA HA, love your posts, my Mother squirted milk at the nurse when the nurse told her she had already had the shot to stop the milk.

  • Caitlin

    I have to tell you, I had no idea this happened. And also, gross.

    My captcha is talking about you: dissatisfied sealants.

  • steph

    I’m dying laughing – I’d almost forgotten about the random let down thing.

    AND I’m so relieved to find out that I wasn’t really the very last person on the planet to finish the BSG series. I hated the end, though.

  • Anonymous

    Yes! to the milk coming in at the wrong times and for the amazing feeling of freedom when finally leaving the little one in the early weeks! Well, maybe more like “I hear you” on the first part, it’s certainly not fun. Mine’s 15 weeks tomorrow, so finally things are starting to level out on both accounts.

  • Lilliah

    @ poor 287. Anonymous

    Awww- I feel sorry for YOU! You can’t seem to stop leaving variations of the same damn comment, no matter how hard you try. Don’t worry, Leta is loved and adored.

  • torelm

    NOOOO – This is the summer of Battlestar for me and my husband – we have been plowing through the series after our two sons are in bed. I always read the last page in a book and I have worked really hard to not read anything about the series so that we could enjoy it together. No more spoilers!

  • http://www.candyjamamas.com Michelle

    I haven’t fed a baby in four years and I swear, I had the sensation of a let down just reading that post. Phantom let down.

  • Anonymous

    Great post, as always. But a //major// spoiler! Come on, seriously?! *groan*

  • http://thecaderchronicles.blogspot.com Hayley

    Oh I can so relate to this post. I had twins just a few days after Marlo came along and I also have a two year old, so I RELISH the time in the car by myself. I blare my music! I EVEN SPEED! *Gasp*

    And your Jon and my John should get together and form an Apple/Battlestar Galactica Geek Club. I almost cried when I realized exactly what you were talking about when you said “Starbuck” and “cylon.”

  • http://www.myfunnyfunnyfamily.com Carrie

    You know, it’s not that hard to put an older kid to bed while breastfeeding the baby. Let’s put it this way: It can’t be too hard if _I_ can do it.

  • http://omareduardo.com Omar

    Haha, I’m not a mom, but I keep reading your blog because it’s hilarious, and I always appreciate a laugh. Thanks for this post, motherhood sounds so sacred when you describe things, so sacred I wouldn’t want to get near it for the sake of respect. Keep enjoying your beautiful babies! Although, Leta is not a baby anymore…

  • http://aaronandashleyareinlove.blogspot.com Ashley

    So I hear in Utah there is a place that makes Ice Cream out of breast milk. Maybe you could spray some into their reciepes for them. Hahahaha. Thanks for the laughs.

  • http://goodgoog.com Zoey

    Ahh the joys of leakage! I think I had to do all of our washing twice because I invariably left a breast pad in the wash. I was lucky enough to have a husband on paternity leave with me for three months and he routinely took our little one for a walk in the morning so I had the luxury of sleeping, showering, or my preferred activity – staring into space and just tuning out.

  • http://swedishpankakes.blogspot.com Swedish Pankakes

    haha :)

    Does reading the word BABY make you gush? Or typing BABY? Or thinking BABY?

  • Lucy in the Sky

    Very funny post. However, you shouldn’t be blasting Beyonce in your car. She’s terrible. Ha ha.

  • http://kristanhoffman.com/ Kristan

    LOL. But also: EW.

    And also also! JON IS SO COOL! Although a little behind, considering BSG ended a few months ago… Tell him it GETS BETTER and the ending TOTALLY ROCKS!

  • http://www.justchangingbags.co.uk/ Changing Bags

    Oh what a great idea for a post! You’ve always got me captivated here :)

  • Melissa

    I nursed my second child for over a year and HATED the feel of nursing pads, not to mention how bulky they looked under a t-shirt. Please, check out LilyPadz, they are awesome! Once your milk is established they are wonderful for avoiding spontaneous wet t-shirt contests!

  • http://www.ahappyhippymom.com/ Michelle

    Great post! Thanks for the laughs!

  • NES

    ya, you are kinda blowing a critical part of the BSG storyline. Maybe you should give a heads up to readers to skip a couple lines in case they don’t want the plot blown if they are way behind.

    Really funny story otherwise!

  • http://www.thebutterflymind.com Tammy at The Butterfly Mind

    Once upon a time, in a land far way … been there, done that! Ahhh, the memories. The kid’s 28 and I can still remember.

    Now, instead of running for a baby, I rescue critters. Just returned from helping rescue 400 animals in Hawaii – it was no paradise, let me tell you:


  • Kristin

    I did NOT need to know that about BSG. I’m in Season 1, Episode 6. Grr!

  • http://www.missivesfromsuburbia.blogspot.com Missives From Suburbia

    I was afraid I might actually experience let-down while reading this. Fortunately, I’m eight months in, and things have calmed down a bit. But the idea of going to the grocery store alone very nearly pushes me over the leaky edge.

  • http://kristanhoffman.com/ Kristan

    Haha, I just read some of the comments and you have pissed off the nerds! They, like Jon, are LATE with their nerdiness, but it’s okay. Tell them Jon’s comment is deceiving/not quite accurate, because that’s true. They can take it on the authority of someone who actually finished watching the entire show. :)

  • http://babyfavorite.blogspot.com/ Baby Favorite

    Totally loved your story; it was funny, painful, touching, poignant, and amazing. Loved it!

    I was one of those who went 15 days past my due date. They induced me at 39 weeks (thought I had pre-eclampsia, but didn’t), and after 24 hours of nonstop pitocin and no dilation, they sent me home. At 42 weeks, they induced me again. 26 hours later of steady contractions but no dilation (good times!), I got to have a c-section. And yet, he was well worth the wait.

    After reading your story, though, my 15 days overdue story sounds like a freaking ride at Disneyland in comparison.

  • http://expatriare.blogspot.com/ Katy

    Hee hee. mooo. What a 21st century problem. “My iphone made my breasts explode in the grocery store”

    rock on.

  • http://crankygirl.wordpress.com cranky

    As an “elderly primigravida” at 11 weeks, it was thrilling to read the end of your story. I’m going to be coming back to it over and over.

  • Beth

    Once again, you hit the nail on the head! I also am breastfeeding my second time around and I can’t believe how crazy my boobs are. With my first, I never had a problem with the letdown – even if she was the baby that was crying. But with my new daughter, oh man, if I even think about any baby that has ever roamed the planet my milk lets down. I don’t even have to be thinking about a baby, it could be any child in general – even my first who is almost 3 years old. They are out of control!

    Thank you Dooce, for allowing us all to talk freely about our boob problems.

  • Anonymous

    my son is a full grown male, and he’s heard this story, but i refuse to have my blog associated with it.

    came home from the hospital after giving birth, was told not to drive, not to do anything strenuous. there was nothing in the fridge to eat, and i decided to prove (to myself) that i was me again, and not a new mother. my milk had not come in, my father-in-law was screaming over the phone to pick up formula, and my baby was screaming for non-existent milk.

    i went to the store without my son (left him with a nervous dad), picked up a few things, and got in line to pay. i thought about my new baby, smiled to myself, and then i felt a drip, drip, drip on my toes. my milk had “come in”, and the male cashier was as horrified as i was. i avoided his shift for the rest of the year.

  • ElizabethE

    Ugh. Why did you spill the beans about Starbuck?? For what it is worth, I think he might be wrong. I think they want you to THINK she is a cylon, but she isn’t.

  • Cara

    Its even more strange when you are the CAUSE of the milk coming in…

    A co-worker of mine used to have this problem every time I laughed anywhere near her… which was a lot, because she was really funny, and I am really loud…

    We’d be talking and chatting and all of a sudden she would grab her boobs and wince.. it took a few times of this happening before she figured out that my laugh was the issue…

  • Lisa

    You know what this post and all the comments just did to me? Gave me that tingly, letdown sensation. And my “baby” is 14 – weird! Congratulations to you & your family…your posts are a delight to read!

  • Orang

    People are complaining about spoilers? Seriously?
    The show has been over for months, and Jon’s outburst isn’t even an actual spoiler.

  • http://www.ourlittlebirds.blogspot.com Miss M

    I’ve so been there. 8 months in and just the sound of another baby crying brings on the let-down. I’ve actually had that happen at work because I just thought about my son.

    The reusable pads are the best for those really big leakages. And thank the heavens for them!

    Also thanks for posting your birth story. I am determined to have a natural birth next time. Having my son cut out of me at 29 weeks because my placenta was separating was not the joyous birth experience I wanted. He’s still the most wonderful thing ever, but I would really like that baby high you were talking about. It’s just not the same when you don’t get to hold them for days.

  • Grandma Tammy

    Love your blog! Read it everday and have tuned my friends all in. I get such vivid pictures reading your writing I can see it all unfold. Funny when writers put into words what you have experienced and describe it perfectly with a funny twist is who you like to read most. You have a gift Heather that I am happy you share. You brought back the memory of how when I would get the bathroom for myself for anything over 10 minutes was heaven. And OMG a bath alone was a dream come true. And I hope you don’t pay any attention to the assholes who leave too much opinion for comments.

  • http://csquaredplus3.typepad.com Chris

    I haven’t nursed in years [Nor will I ever nurse again. I'm old.], and that photo almost made me let down. You’re doing great!

  • http://photoknitnerd.blogspot.com Anna

    Me too, sista, me too.

    The milk just sprays out of me this time around, too. (I think we delivered within days of each other, and this was my second.)

    I soaked through several breast pads in the first month, and still do from time to time. It’s nuts–the whole “if a baby cries within earshot” letdown thing is totally true.

    Rock on.

  • http://www.vanderbiltwife.com Vanderbilt Wife

    I have nursed my daughter for nine months and NEVER felt let down or leaked. It’s so peculiar. I kept waiting for it to happen.

    I shall consider myself among the blessed! I am guessing all bets are off for the next kid, though.

  • http://www.ourhaxtunlife.com Susan

    I love that you openly talk about breastfeeding! I live in the middle of nowhere and everyone is SO prudish that I feel like I have to keep my boobs a big secret! Yes, I have breasts and they regularly secrete sustenance for my child!


  • http://www.kage-g.blogspot.com kage

    I thought you were going to see the picture are cry right there in the produce section because you missed her….but no, milk explosion! I should have seen that one coming.

  • http://www.jerseymomblogging.blogspot.com Sheryl

    The scene in Slumdog Millionaire- when the kids with the baby give it up to the bullyish older brother- sent me into a milking frenzy… Takes a long time for some people’s breasts to figure out WHEN to milk and when not to milk.
    FYI I find it very helpful to apply pressure onto the nipple that the baby is not drinking from, in order to ‘train’ it to stop milking at that time. And the Lansinoh pads are the BEST.

  • Starr

    Breastfeeding is so awesome! I could not even think about going without breast pads for at least the first six months I nursed both of my children. And the feeling of getting in the car without a child is WONDERFUL. Although, I would always have the feeling I was forgetting something. It is weird going somewhere without the diaper bag on one arm and baby on the other.

  • kathryn

    Thank you for not painting a horrible, scary picture of breastfeeding. I found the Johnson’s breast pads to be the best. I loved them so much that I have them still stashed away after I stopped nursing my first so I can use them with the second. Yes, I am that damn cheap!


    one chilly night about seven years ago in Tallahassee I was at an outdoor event and my breast pads froze to my nipples. it was tongue on the flagpole times ten. I just grabbed cloth diapers and my extra sweater.

    BTW, if you are really good, you park in the back of the lot and take a power nap on any errand you are alone in. trust me.

  • http://anywayiwasjustthinking.blogspot.com Liz C

    Wait… Starbuck is a cylon? Shit. I really need to get though the rest of the DVDs. I hope she’s not a cylon. Finding out that Tyrol,Anders, Tigh, and Tory might be cylons was bad enough.

    oops. Did I say that out loud? Sorry.

    Oh, good luck with the lactating, too. :)

  • http://vocabularyvixen.wordpress.com/ Rachel

    Heather, you are NOT doing ANY good for my biological clock that has been at a steady drumbeat in my ears for about 8 months now… You’re NOT doing ANY good for the fact that I have not yet been able to conceive!

    I know, I know, don’t listen to my biological clock because it’s being a dumb-ass, but it’s kind of hard with the drum line beating at top volume into my ears. ESPECIALLY in combination with my obsession with your website AND your steady and consistent dose of hilarity!

    In all seriousness, you’re AWESOME! :-)

  • Uma

    I had just nursed my baby down and tucked her in for the night when I started reading this and saw Marlo’s picture. Guess what my boobs are doing? I should just pump and ship a few bottles to her.