• http://cjdaily.wordpress.com CJ

    1. That hair is awesome. I’m going straight to my stylist and requesting “The Lily.”

    2. Please, PLEASE, tell us the Korean for “Hello.” I just know my lady is criticising my freakishly small, impossible to paint pinky toe.

    3. I think we need a picture of Marlo’s chubby thighs as well. Maybe a Lily/Marlo duo?

  • http://www.deedoos-digital-scrapbooking.com Janet

    Well that is one darling little chubby baby, I must say! I have to agree that she is quickly going to be harder to keep tabs on! Whatever you do, don’t let Marlo see her flipping and scrunching; you know how THOSE BABIES are! Don’t want to be outdone!

  • http://lissabird.blogspot.com Lissa Lander

    I feel like I just took a dip in your stream of consciousness.

    I thought it was funny when other mothers told me not to let my baby crawl early, as if I had any say in the matter.

    On a side note… I worked in a tutoring center in San Jose, and EVERYONE in there spoke Vietnamese (loudly) but me. To this day I have a little panic attack because I’m convinced that everyone’s yelling about the dumb white girl when I hear a gaggle Vietnamese speakers.

  • Becky

    Ya know… I had read your post and commented without reading any other comments first. I was surprised by the readers who wrote about your political viewpoint or even took offense to the story you shared about the salons. I have followed you for a long time, and enjoy the way you write just about as much as I enjoy the content of your messages. You are a real mom in America, and yet, I don’t know how you do it, Heather. I guess it’s the beauty of free speech… you are able to write what you choose and we have the freedom to not only follow you, but also respond or vent or laugh or cry or even start to unfollow. Kudos to you, Heather, for having the courage to continue to blog. I know that Leta and Marlo are going to grow up and be so proud of their mama!

  • terry

    Yup, a mobile baby is a dangerous baby. Normally there’d be a few more months before proofing the house, but it looks like it won’t be long before Lily is opening the fridge door and complaining that there’s never anything to eat in this house.

  • #246

    Come on, Heather. None of us are joking here. It would be nice if you would take us seriously and reflect on your tone and general outlook in this post. Esther’s post was very emotionally charged, but I agree with her. Just because you aren’t actively discriminating against Koreans in your post doesn’t mean there isn’t an element of latent racism there anyway. A LOT of people make similar comments without realizing there are biases behind them they’re completely unaware of.

    And I still stand behind what I said about people wanting to throw around random phrases in other languages just to seem cool and trendy–it’s horribly tacky, and just flat-out sickening, to see how many people have posted here begging you to teach them the one phrase of Korean that you know so they can use it with every Asian American (since everyone who looks alike must speak the same language) they suspect of gossiping about them (obviously we’re gossiping about you whiteys, because we have no other reason to speak in any language besides English in America!). Not that I’m pinning the blame on you for their ignorant comments–but as Asian Americans, we would really appreciate if you’d say something to point out that they really need to stop it.

    Once again, I’m writing this as a longtime fan of your site. I routinely call my friends out on this stuff because it isn’t acceptable from anyone in this day and age, especially not from someone whose voice reaches–and influences–many thousands of people.

  • Laura


    That’s not why I’m here… I just came for the chubby baby thighs! Nom, nom, nom.

  • #246

    Er, addendum–we might not all be Asian Americans. I at least know that I am!

  • http://www.ramblingbrooke.com Brooke

    Lily is beautiful! I also love the nail salon story. I’m currently in Europe, and my fiance’s family doesn’t quite grasp that, while I don’t speak the language, I certainly understand it. I like it this way. I know when they’re talking about me, and I get all the inside scoop.

  • ommax3

    holy cow #267….pure awesome crapola

    love the story…squirrel….story…squirrel…
    writing style…read today for the first time…going to have to go back through the archives…

    ahn yo high so…Hello in phonetics….don’t say it to your vietnameese mani pedi girl though.

    Omma is mom in Korean…

  • http://www.justanotherjenn.com Justanotherjenn

    Does anyone else want to put some BBQ sauce on those little hamhocks? I LOVE CHUBBY BABIES!

  • Jaje

    Flipping Babies! That is one of the unmentioned signs of the Apocalypse, I believe. Also could be used as a curse in the presence of mormons.

    ON THE OTHER HAND! you know what I LOVE! I love that my healthcare is NOT RUN BY THE GOVERNMENT! Because that would suck. Why would anyone WANT to add more red-tape into that system!?

    But for course that’s not why I’m here! Wait, why am I here? Oh! Because I love your blog. Even when you’re a nut. ^_^

  • Unfollow

    I demand a better shot of the fat rolls. Demand.

  • Rachel

    Heh, my adorably chubby four month old did exactly the same yesterday – I’m scared!!

  • Amanda

    She is ADORABLE. No question about it.

    Also, good Momversation, I like the topic, good stories, BUT. The Target ads make me weepy. I am an American who moved to Canada three years ago, and WE HAVE NO TARGET HERE. And there is really nothing comparable. When people ask me what I miss the most about living in the United States, I say TARGET. Oh, Bullseye, how I miss you.

  • enygma

    Wow, I read your posts on the types of comments you get but I never really bothered to scroll through all of them until now.
    I don’t really care that you don’t like kimchi (to each his own, right?) or that you frequented a nail salon ran by Koreans and you pulled out a Korean phrase that made them stop and stare. Hey, we all have experience with that or wish we could do that. After all, people occasionally seem surprised that I can speak English, much less teach English literature.
    However, I agree with a couple of the other commentors that some of your other readers need to learn more sensitivity in regards to their interaction with people of other cultural backgrounds.
    When I see comments like this:
    84. Restless Mama said:

    You no likey the Kimchi? UNFOLLOW!!! Kidding…maybe? *wink*

    That baby looks delicious! Go, baby, go! Roll with yo’ rolls!

    Katey is beyond screwed dude.
    I can’t help but be offended because of the commentor’s assumption that a person who is Korean and/or speaks limited English can’t even pronounce the word, “like”, correctly. Whether she’s aware of it or not, that is a racist stereotype.
    I think a lot of the frustrations felt by Esther is that you have a lot of power because you are a good writer with a strong following and rather than quell some of the commentor’s behavior, you’re sitting back and passively allowing them to continue making generalizations.
    I’m not going to “unfollow” or anything, but I’m just posting this so that you, and other readers/potential commentors (who manage to make it this far), will understand how some of us–by some, I mean Asian Americans–feel and why.

  • bearing

    I have to ask, with Lily, Marlo, and Leta all around, don’t you find yourself calling one of them “Milly — Lalo — Meeta — uh, YOU.”

    Because we have a Milo and a Silas and a Laily and a Meira around here, not all mine, and I have called a kid Silo or Salmon more times than I can count.

  • Anonymous

    if nothing else, the (perceived) insensitivity and underhanded racism is emblematic of a large portion of the readership, which likely is reflective of the same proportional population in the u.s.

    i mean, hell, dubya served 2 terms in the white house.

  • http://mlbornstein.blogspot.com Meredith

    Totally with you on the “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice. I wanted to smack every single person who said that to me.

    And I agree that roly poly babies should rule the world. I used to call my youngest Mademoiselle Chubby Thighs. Go Lily go! Show Marlo how it’s done, hee!

  • Pam

    Well it probably does seem assy and privileged to talk about Power when someone of a different ethnicity than you is doing your damn toes.

    I agree with 300 and say whoa on those racial stereotypes y’all.

    On the other hand I did learn to say ‘hello’ in Korean from a fellow that works in a shop that I go to, and I used it to surprise him the next time that I came back. What reaction I got was friendly smiles and chuckles. I don’t think it’s horrid and stupid and whatever else some have said just to say something in a different language just to be friendly. And I did already know that the guys in the store were Korean before I asked him for the word, I did not assume that everybody who looks a certain way is from a particular country or other.

  • http://poemsandnovels.blogspot.com Maggie May

    She’ll be walking at eight months.

    My daughter, I shit you not, said ‘dishwasher’ at seven months. ;) I say it was her first word, instead of an accident of tongue and noise.

  • http://momish.squarespace.com Momish

    You know, I thought you were sort of exaggerating in the post you wrote a while back (i.e. now I pissed off the headless people…) But I see you were not. I agree with Enygma in so far as it can be upsetting to be the target of jokes and insensitivity and honestly don’t blame her or the others for wanting to voice their opinions/concerns (especially when done so respectively). But on the other hand, stereotyping is a fact of life and not always with the intent to be cruel or demeaning. Who hasn’t felt insecure in a room full of people talking in a different language, wondering if they are talking about you? I read that story to be self-depreciating in a funny way about you and not demeaning towards another culture, but then again I am not Asian American, so who knows how I would have taken it if I was. Or maybe I’m just thick skinned. As an Italian American, I don’t get offended every time someone mocks “Yo Adriann!” just because my name ends in a vowel. If I did, I probably would have gone postal in the 80′s. Oops, just pissed off all the postal workers, didn’t I?

    And #279? If you actually read all that, I’m just in awe and humbly beg you to start a book club with me!

  • http://amberandnic.blogspot.com/ Amber

    Lucky her. My first crawled at an early age, & he is too smart for his own britches.

  • Shellie

    Yep, totally screwed. I walked at eight months and my Mom reminds me of it constantly. Not that she’s bitter about it at all.

  • http://www.survivethemayhem.com SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem

    Eek! A few readers are just letting their Freak Flag fly!

  • MZ

    omg katey, your daughter’s hair is adorable!

    LOVED the tangents this post took. made me laugh all the way through!

  • Ingrid

    These comments are awesome.

  • christina

    Lily is so stinkin cute! Those eyes,like you said she is screwed, ha. Maybe Lily will be walking by the time she is 8 months old ;)

  • http://www.racheldirollzack.com Rachel

    I’m not sure if I love the sleep-deprived posts or the crazy freakshow that the comments have become more. I’m going to lean toward Heather’s posts, because she’s been out there doing it bravely since Al Gore invented this internet thing and to have to censor herself due to a couple of freaky wackjobs would be a crime.

    Oh great – now I’ve offended the freaky wackjobs. Whoops.

    Isn’t there a quote about there not being any point in writing unless you’re pissing someone off? Keep pissing people off, Heather!

    That said, if I don’t believe in God, does any of #267′s unmedicated diatribe apply to me?

  • http://www.mytrendytykes.com Linda @ My Trendy Tykes

    ROFL @ the Korean nail salon! bwhahahaha

    OMG! look at her roll (and rolls) so cute!!!

  • Bea

    So I’m hoping Katey & Lily get 1/30th of this month’s ad revenue.

  • HDC


    Second: You really ought to read more of Jeremy Clarkson’s columns. You two sometimes are astonishingly similar. Except for he mostly writes about cars and you write about babies and psychotic dogs and corporate asshatery. Except that.

  • http://thewellreadmom.blogspot.com Alexis

    I had that baby. It is not as awesome as it sounds when your kid “meets and exceeds milestones at an early age.” Good luck!

    PS I could eat those baby legs, yes I could.

    PPS Go affordable health care! You rock!

  • Lilla

    HELLO?! What is going on with that baby’s hair? Too funny, like she has been licked on the head by a buffalo.

    Uhm, and WTF with 267. Anonymous gorilla????Is that Jon screwing with you for laughs & giggles?

  • http://www.flowerzinherhair.com Amy J

    SCREWED!!!! But she is so darling. My 3 year old wore that same dress to church (yes church) on Sunday!!! Darling!!

  • Lisa

    First time poster, but I felt compelled to comment.

    I understand the outrage and frustration from some of the posters, but sheesh, lighten up folks. (Ha, that was unintentional! Doesn’t help my case, I’m sure, but I’m not currently inclined to kowtow to the hyper-sensitive.)

    Heather’s nail salon story was intended to be FUNNY! And it was. Humor is about revealing the unexpected, or highlighting incongruities. In this case, a white woman (stereotypically assumed to not understand or speak an Asian language) turns the tables on the Korean salon workers. Yes, there are power dynamics here. Perversely, that’s why the story is funny. Dooce takes an insecurity–not knowing what is being said (i.e. being clueless)–and turns the tables 180. Moreover, she does it by being tentative (whispers quietly) and achieves a stunning effect (workers go silent). After Heather speaks in Korean, the workers no longer know how “safe” their conversation is from eavesdropping. The powerless becomes the powerful, and vice versa. Incongruent, unexpected, funny. (Whether the workers were speaking about Dooce or not is irrelevant, as they clearly intended the conversation to be confined among themselves.)

    A complication, of course, is that the mani-pedi providers are offering a service, and service workers (particularly those providing manual service) are among the most powerless in society. Also, not all nail salons are owned and operated by Koreans, and many (though certainly not all) Americans cannot tell the difference between different Asian nationalities and languages. So yes, it can be extremely demeaning if someone uses the wrong language just because they assume an Asian in a nail salon is Korean. And of course, the idea of “learning” a phrase or two to triumphantly hold power over others is pretty jerkish (and will probably be easily seen through).

    But I don’t think most commenters had a malicious desire in wanting to learn how to say “hello” in Korean. It would mostly be to see the reaction (which I admit, is pretty funny. Asian-Americans generally do not expect Caucasians to know how to speak their language, and react accordingly. Stereotypes run both ways, people).

    I admire people trying to use foreign languages (provided they genuinely mean well and are reaching out, and not trying to be an a$$hat).

    So, for those asking, there are several ways of saying hello in Korean. The most common are (phonetically):

    Yo-Bow-Say-yo (used almost exclusively on the telephone)

    Ahn-nyong-ha-say-yo (polite hello)

    Ahn-nyong (casual hello, used with close friends or family. Rude to use with those not close to you.)

    Go forth, and use your Korean for good, not evil!

    (Also, the baby pictures and stories are making me antsy for some beh-behs. Soooo cute. I just looked at my husband adoringly, imagining little Matt-lets running around, and he looked back and said, “Were you eating a candy bar? You’ve chocolified your boobs.”)

  • Linda


    I totally utterly wish I could express myself like you do. I agree regarding the chubby babies, and the one you have rolling around on your floor is no exception…..what a cutie-patootie!

  • rachele

    My 2nd baby was scooting at 4 months. Yes, it was hell, lol. I had convinced myself that I was somehow going to make kiddo #2 grow up slower, but alas! She is apparently stuck in fast forward mode.

  • Anonymous

    My mom insists that I walked at 8 months(!!)…which is why my dad called me “midget” because I looked so funny being this tiny little walking thing. (yeah, i know, how politically INCORRECT of him sheez!) I think they’re full of shit. Surely I would be a much more accomplished adult if I had learned to walk at a mere 8 months, right?! Sadly an early walker does not a genius make.

    And I’m with #40 (Gillian), how did you keep Lily’s hair a secret?! That’s so freaking cute. I want to see Lily and Lo playing together:)

    Oh, and YAY! for health care. Maybe by slipping that into every single post people will finally get it. Right.

  • http://www.freckletree.com freckletree.

    Tell Katey that my twins were 4 months when they started rolling over. Now they are 7 months and crawling. She’s wallerin in shit I tells ya.

    Tell Esther to stop checking your comments to see how much attention that post has gotten her.

    Tell yourself that you are flippin awesome. And even though there are a few angry gorillas in your jungle– YOU HAVE HELPED a gajillion women through their anxieties, post-partums and days in general.

    Even if those women have jacked up soles.

  • http://www.nothingwitty.com Ariel

    I was walking at 5 months and climbing bookcases (and out of cribs) by seven months my mother says. She says I was cute but devilish.
    Totally screwed.

  • Michelle

    I’m currently battling a cat-napping 3 month old. How I wish I could predict her sleep better.

  • http://www.ifeelyaophelia.com Jenna Jean

    What a fast little learner. That’s an adorable dress on her too, THANK GOD IT ISN’T PINK.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know if you read all of your comments or not, but either way, just wanted to leave a comment saying that I LOVE your site! I think what you do is vital and that it helps so many people! Please be encouraged today that you are blessing so many lives. I apologize for the ignorant hateful people that leave narsty comments to you. I think you are amazing and am waiting for you to release another book because I’ve loved the last two :) Oh, and post more videos, because they are hilarious and I love them.

  • http://www.ifeelyaophelia.com Jenna Jean

    Are you going to start using your website on tirade’s against healthcare? Because that would be really awesome.

  • http://www.survivethemayhem.com SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem

    #303′s comment shoud win an award! She says she “sort of thought you were exaggerating” about pissing off the headless people but “now she see’s you were not” …. #303, please think about that a moment, won’t you. headless people….

  • Anonymous

    Oh, and to jj right before me….how rude!

  • michele

    as i sit here my 5 week old has just fallen asleep and i am in the very quandary you describe… he just had an hour long nap an HOUR ago, so this one isn’t possibly going to last, is it? so here i sit, assuming he will open his wee eyes at any moment…

    however, last night i was just as certain of his awaking any minute, and he continued to NOT wake for 3 straight hours. as he slept on my lap, therefore rendering it impossible for me to sleep. but i was certain that if i moved him he would immediately wake.

    i was wrong. but sometimes i am right… and this is why babies are evil. (you know, adorably so.)

  • Mikalina

    Can we get a video of the Lily flip?

  • http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com Tracy

    The kid has great timing!