• Kate Collier

    Hi Heather,
    Have been reading your blog for about a year now and find it hilarious and really touching. It made me sick reading the hate mail… I don’t know how you handle it, but thanks, some of us really enjoy reading your commentary on the banal and the everyday. I think Leta and Marlo will be proud of you someday.

  • Lydia

    Oh, and your fans. The hate spreads to your fans, too.
    Your fans are RABID NUT cases. We can’t think for ourselves! Because we like you! And understand you! And don’t think you’re screwing up your kids! Your haters actually piss me off a lot.

  • http://bit.ly/oUm0h anderuel

    Ya know…I’m a democratic conservative who is morphing to the GOP. I don’t exactly agree with Dooce on her views on HC. But it doesn’t mean that I can’t find the rest of her experiences (or maybe just some of them!) funny. Don’t dig into most of this stuff for some deep meaning (sorry, Dooce!). I don’t have kids (only a DH and lots of dogs), but I am preety effin’ sure my mom didn’t love my screamin’ ass every second of every day! Lighten up, ppl, and have some FUN!! Sheesh! We don’t all have to agree 100% to appreciate and care for each other.

  • Kaila McGarvey

    Oh shit, shingles. I had them when I was 9. Ridiculous.

    I am interested in these people who criticize you not just once, but over and over again. That is psychotic. Telling your opinion once is fine. It is okay to not agree with something or someone and to speak your mind. It is not okay to harass them day in and day out.

    I think you are amazing and love your site. You may not be the average mother, but you are down to earth and there is nothing wrong with being non-average.

    Thank you for always brightening my day. I hope the psychotic haters do not get you down too much.

  • Amy

    I’ve always been curious about the crazies! Monetizing the Hate is brilliant!

    You, your blog, your family and your dogs are all awesome!

  • Erica

    All of my ads on HATE were about a dating website. Apparently I should post an ad that says something like “SWF, loves to read about other people’s boobs, poop, and HATE.”

  • Kathleen

    What a great idea. Making money off of all the trash that is said to hurt you. Absolutely brilliant. I purposefully didn’t put my blog page on this time though. I usually do in hopes that you might one day click on it and read it, not for other people.

    I think you are great and I hope all those things don’t actually get to you, I don’t think I could stand all that crap being said about me. I think you are great and I read you all the time, and will continue to do so.

  • Another Heather

    I will check in every day. I adore you and your family, which mirrors my own. Keep it on, you help so many of us.

  • http://hopelds.blogspot.com Hope

    Making cash from hate email is the best idea I have heard in a long, long time.
    And having shingles sucks – sorry, Heather.

  • Erin

    My boss is out with the SHINGLES! He has it on his face and neck. He wasn’t diagnosed when he called from the doctor’s office to tell me that he wouldn’t be in. So he called sick with “a big head”! And he’s not even #26.

  • Sarah

    Fuck all the haters. They’re just jealous and miserable pieces of shit. You are hilarious! And your husband, children, and dogs are adorable. You have a great marriage, family, and home. People that don’t are extremely jealous and take it out on you, which you shouldn’t have to endure. Keep bein yourself and making us fans laugh our asses off =)

  • Teri

    I have read a few pages over at Monetizing The Hate and have loved every second of it. It is truly funny…some people are just too stupid.

    I have to ask…how many pages are there?

    Don’t go changing(blah, blah, blah)…I love you just way you are!

    (sorry for the billy joel reference)

  • http://candcfamily.blogspot.com Carly

    That sh1t is hilarious. I mean HILARIOUS!

  • shelly


    hate page? win.

    ps. sorry about the SINGLES! hope you get better soon.

  • http://mymindsink.com Dirk

    The idea to make money from this is great.

    I read some of the hate mail. What a depressing experience. Clearly you have thicker skin than I. I don’t think I could shake off that much mean spirited childish nonsense on a daily basis. Good luck to you.

  • Kathleen A.

    For every hater out there there are 10, or 20 or 100 people out there who think you’re wonderful and enjoy your blog.

    I read your book shortly after I had my son in April, often during some of his marathon cluster feeding sessions. Your book made me laugh and helped me get through those very challenging first few weeks. Thank you. Please keep doing what you do, because you do it very well.

  • Amanda

    since there really isnt any other censorship being played out here, i will not feel a bit of trepidation saying the following…

    IF i were you-my response* to all the HATERS out there-(individually-one by one) would be:

    “”Hey there Haters-I’d call you all Cunts, but you lack the warmth & the depth.”"

    the end.

  • Kara Harris

    I laughed until my sides hurt when I read the mean comments. The funniest part? All the spelling mistakes. Apparently the grumpy people have some educational issues.

    Anyway, I am not much of a mushy, sweet type, but if one positive comment helps to eliminate the hateful mispellers, then here goes:

    Your children are beautiful. Your blog is funny. You help me procrastinate when I should be working.

    Okay. I lied. That was three comments.

  • http://www.seriousrepliesonly.blogspot.com Serious Replies Only

    I LOVE IT!

  • Brynne

    I knew there were crazy, mean people out there… you stumble across them sometimes out in public, and deal with them in traffic actually quite frequently. However, it takes having a hugely popular blog such as dooce.com to have them brought directly into your living room… uninvited of course. Good for you for turning it around on them.

    Freaking assheads.

  • Nina

    So sorry about the shingles. That seriously sucks.

  • Courtney

    Ok….. so all of these “haters” have soooo much free time to read your posts and make negative comments (and they probably follow you on twitter as well….) about how much they hate you and you’re a brat and this and that WHY THE F*$@ do they read your page? I just don’t get it…..

  • http://www.vakadesign.wordpress.com vakadesign

    You go! What an awesome idea, and a great way to be proactive about not swallowing the asshead crap being tossed at you by assheads with nothing to do but be assheady.

    And dude, I’m so sorry about the SHINGLES! That’s wicked sucky.

    I will make you a pretty silver seaglass ring to wear while you have SHINGLES! because I feel so sorry for you, k?

  • http://10eisha.etsy.com teneisha

    God I love this Blog. Thank you. You seriously rule.

  • Kristin Nagy

    Love Love Love it!!!! You rock! I love how one person claims that they have a life and a daughter and a dog… but have better things to do than write about it (pretty sure they used “bitch” but whatever) and yet they find time out of their precious day to send hate mail… REALLY PEOPLE???

  • Jessica

    I love that I can get back at the haters who don’t love this site by laughing at them while hopefully making you money! As someone a few comments up said “That will probably be the only website full of ads that I will visit specifically because it is full of ads.” Woo!

  • http://thebeetgoeson.blogspot.com TheExpatresse

    Oh, my heart bleeds for you. SHINGLES! That sucks big time. I’ve had a few friends suffer through it . . .

    BTW, the post about Frampton is probably your best work yet.

    Rock on, Heather Armstrong.

  • Heather

    I just want to stop by and say good for you! I hope you make boatloads of money off the people who leave you hateful comments. I’ve been reading your blog for three years and I think you’re awesome. :)

  • Alice

    Sorry about the shingles that’s no good. But the hate mail page is insane! I just can’t believe people will take the time to write such hateful awful stuff. But what an awesome idea to make some money off that noise. You rule.

  • amy

    When I was in 4th grade my dad got shingles and that was only the 2nd time that I’ve ever seen him cry. And oh yeah, he was a Marine and once had a tooth pulled WITHOUT anesthesia because drugs make him sick, so he’s no wimp.

    SHINGLES! are no joke and I sure hope yours don’t last long. My mom used to rub vitamin E oil on my dad’s back and I think that helped. Oh dang, why did I give that advice to such an asshead?

  • John

    WOW – CL IS PSYCHO!!!! I can understand not agreeing with you and even posting that she doesn’t agree – but to actually email you direct such vile BS – it is vain and just plain psycho!! Have you thought of obtaining a restraining order?

  • LeFiffre

    And here, for the past three weeks, I’ve been shopping at Smith’s and cussing the overhead in-store commercials that urge the over-65s who’ve had chicken pox to ask their pharmacist about SHINGLES! medication. No mention of women in their childbearing years. Anyway, I’m mentally referencing the $30B that pharama companies spend annually to encourage myfeller’mercans to demand their physicians prescribe this or that to fuel our over-medicated cost-spiral.

    And now?

    Now the commercials will induce “hello Heather!” and “mebbe I should sorta broach the subject obliquely with the pharmacist. Jusincase.”

    Oh, and if you need to see a dermatologist, Dr. Michael Hadley is the best in SLC and 11 surrounding states. No, that’s not me.

  • carolyn

    Hey, my baby had chicken pox when she was 6 weeks old! Caught it from her big brother. And the the poor little sucker got SHINGLES! when she was in kindergarten and now has a little scar on her chest from it. Hope Marlo doesn’t get it! :)

  • Shannon

    Brilliant. Fucking Brilliant.

  • http://www.wildtochild.com Wild to Child

    I have to say again….pure genius! Monetize the hate! I can’t believe that people waste that much time out of their days trying to bring other people down! I’m pretty sure that most of those hate letters were sent by one or two people. They must be so disappointed with their own lives…..I LOVE IT!


  • Kerr

    I read this and then turned off adblock for Monetizing the Hate. I even clicked on a few.

    It’s a great idea. We should all be paid to deal with unavoidable asshats.

  • Molly

    Heather Champ is BRILLIANT! That website is hilarious, which is a good thing, to really piss those a**hole commenters off to know that they are directly contributing to your ad revenue. Brilliant brilliant.

    Also, just going to throw this word out there: harassment. Just because it happens on the internet doesn’t mean it’s not harassment, and Dooce, I feel for you to have to be inundated with it.

  • http://bananaloggirl.wordpress.com/ Nicky

    Once again you make lemonade – what a fantastic idea. Also, I don’t want you to get a big head or anything but I think you’re great.

  • Janet

    Re: Hate

    Maybe if these haters had something of their own to say, they would have less time to criticize what you have to say. Just saying…

  • http://librainfrance.blogspot.com/ A Seattleite in Paris

    Lol. Heather you so rock!

  • Bonny

    I jumped over to the Hate Page and I just feel so sad that people would actually go out of their way to say such mean things. They act like you killed their first born or something. If you don’t like it, don’t read it!

    Good for you for not letting all that crap get to you.

  • http://lifebydays.blogspot.com Meredith Quick

    Not that I want Marlo to get chicken pox, of course, but I had them when I was four months old. Do you have any idea how pitiful a four-month old is when she has the chicken pox? Neither do I! I don’t remember them!

    But I sure looked awful.

    I’ll see if my ma can find a pic…

  • Chad

    MOTHERFUCKINGAWESOMEINEVERYWAY kind of brilliance. I was just thinking the other day that there are so many haters. At least someone is channeling all that negative energy into something good. It reminds me of Monsters Inc. when the Monsters thought that all the energy could come from the kids screaming but it was actually the LAUGHTER that made the energy. And here you are with all that laughter from some negative messages.

    I think that you should make an audio version of some of the messages. Or you and Jon could have Hate Mail Theater and make videos of all the horrible messages. Maybe Peter Frampton could write the score and play in the background.

    Why are people so negative? What’s with all the hate? I mean, Chuck’s toenails? SERIOUSLY? Is there even a specific length that dog’s nails should be?

    This is so awesome. Your friend is brilliant. I think I want to marry her. Is she single? Maybe it’s the name Heather that makes someone so freakin’ amazing. That couldn’t be the case though because I went to school with a chick named Heather and she kind of smelled like cheese. Your friend doesn’t smell like cheese does she? Because if she does, I’m not interested.

    SHINGLES! Those totally suck dude. I had a buddy who had shingles but I think it was something else because he was hanging around with a really skanky chick at the time and he had his “rash” in kind of a weird place. Anyhow, I don’t want to gross anyone out so I won’t say anything more about THAT. I hope your shingles go away soon and that you can keep your baby safe.

    BABIES! They sure are cute aren’t they? One of these days I hope to have at least one baby. Hey! Maybe I could have a baby with your friend Heather and it could be as cute as your kids. Although, I kind of want a boy because I don’t get all that girl stuff. I’m more into sports and intellectual things like chess and chemistry.

    Anyhow, good luck with rolling in all that money. Just be sure to take a shower afterwards because you have no idea where that money has been and if you think shingles are bad well, yeah.

  • http://www.atincupchalice.com MissCaron

    OMG … SHINGLES!?! WTF? You poor thing!

    P.S. Love, love, love the idea of Monetizing The Hate!

  • http://hoyden-mel.blogspot.com Melisa

    I think i’m gonna FOLLOW your site forever. You sooo ROCK! And i hope you get better soon. BTW, monetizing the hate is GENIUS!

  • http://erinmeara.blogpot.com Erin

    Ha. I totally get why you put the hate up. I prefer YOUR words, so I probably won’t check it much. But CRAP, CRAP, CRAP & CHUCK NORRIS references of the first few entries were classic. I bought your book, so that balances out monetarily, right? Even if I don’t see the ads from the new site?

    Keep doing your thing; your stories ring true for any mom, wife and woman. I adore your photography.

    Fuck the haters.

  • http://www.alaskab4udie.blogspot.com Julie

    Love the Monetizing the Hate page.

    Some of the comments make me pretty angry though. Whatever happened to women supporting each other? We should all be in this together instead of tearing each other apart. Yes, we all have struggles as women and I think it’s great that we can come to this blog and find out that we are not alone.

    My favorite is the irony of the comment by a woman who claims you should be out doing things with your daughters rather than complaining on the internet all day, like her and her wonderful life that is better than yours. Yet there she is, with time to not only read blogs she deems a waste of time, but to comment on them too.

    Sorry about the shingles dude…


  • Kim R

    I’m reading some of the posts and just shaking my head. I’m not a new mom; really, I’m an old mom, but found this website through a friend that’s a new mom. I think it’s wonderfully entertaining. Maybe I have the perspective of age, but some people take themselves and their OPINIONS (started capitalizing when I started reading this website) way too seriously.
    When I read comments from you about Leta, I hear the love and pride coming through. You are very open that she’s not perfect, you’re not perfect and the world goes on.
    I enjoy you sharing your life with us, and think those that disagree should shut their computer and go for a walk.
    and SO SORRY about the SHINGLES…they are stress related I believe, and horribly painful. You may finally motivate me to get the vaccine.

  • Anonymous


    =-D ha…
    8-D hah!
    ;-D aahhh…