• Mary

    I used to think that a leprechaun lived in my toilet when I was Leta’s age. It’s not like anyone told me a scary story about it either, I came up with that idea on my own. And so, for a number of years, I was afraid to use the bathroom solely for the reason that OMG THE LEPRECHAUN WILL LEAP OUT AND GET ME AAAAAHHHHH.

    Yeah, I was a weird kid.

  • http://www.MyIndianLove.com My Indian Love

    I love checking your site EVERY DAY! :D You have a gift! And your dogs are just too cute! Love the scarf photo.

  • Salome

    Rock on, Dooce! You are every bit as charming and funny as when I started reading your blog in 2004. BETTER.

  • Heather

    Mmm… black licorice…

    toast on the toilet is a great swear phrase, don’t you think?

  • http://blog.mar.sg/index.php Mar

    Funny post, as ever and yet again!

    Just found out about Monetizing the Hate today, another hilarious section, like why not, if pays the bills?

  • http://www.realestatebirdwood.com.au Anne

    Leta is SMART. This is too funny. I can totally relate, dude.

  • http://www.tiffanyonlinestore.us/ tiffany jewelry

    good post and thanks a lot!

  • http://bresnan.net Robyn

    I loved this post ~ as I do all of them, and I was glad to see and read the comment from #100. I have been upset about the”Haters” since I read their comments. I wish you could have someone filter them so you never had to see or read such green crap. I do agree with #100 that it just feeds their jealous frenzy. Please keep up the good work. With your family for inspiration and great material I look forward to reading “Dooce” every day.

    Oh yeah ~ my Mother eats and loves Black Licorice ~ she says it works like a laxative when she is constipated. I’m not so sure!

  • http://johnandbianka.blogspot.com Bianka

    Are you going to get nasty-grams now from hobos with vaginas?

  • http://emailstudy.wordpress.com Makya

    How is it that eating black licorice is not dissimilar from making out with Satan and eating a Twizzler is like an aggressive deliciousness party in and around your mouth?

    If only all things in life were this simple, paint it a bright color, give it a spiffy name and…wait, that is what most of life is like.

  • Knittingfrog

    I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE licorice…but maybe the European stuff tastes different? I have never had licorice from the US, but love the black stuff sweet and even savoury, with my absolute favourite being the Finnish salty licorice liqueur…(maybe the alcohol would help you face the challenge of trying it in front of Leta?)

  • http://aforeignland.blogspot.com/ Molly

    Black licorice is beyond gross but your family is a trip.

  • http://indapuddingclub.blogspot.com/ Lauren @ In The Pudding Club

    I’m not as anti-black licorice as you are, but eating candy in the bathtub? I think I’ve found a new phobia. I’m just imagining syrupy drool mixing in with the bath water. Not that Leta drools but my kid sure does.

  • http://www.musicsongs.co.nz Here

    I am totally against black licorice, so I understand. That stuff is evil. I say, EVIL.

  • http://www.harrietstreat.blogspot.com jodi

    This made me smile. Mainly because I’m a legendary arachnophobe and because my husband, the love of my life, is named Randal. He’s much more attractive than yours, even without the extra l.

  • http://blog.sailorscorpio.com/ Meredith

    Black licorice is VILE! I don’t blame you for wrinkling your nose in disgust — not in the least. I fail to see how it became an edible substance.

  • Anonymous

    Chuck in the scarf should be sold as a screen saver or wall paper. I would so buy it.

  • Anonymous

    All joking aside, PLEASE DO NOT ENCOURAGE LETA TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL. Take it from a lawyer.

  • Carolarol

    THAT PHOTO OF CHUCK IN THE SCARF IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFULLY BRILLIANT.

  • sonya

    “….MOM! LOOK! I AM COURAGEOUS!

    That’s the word she used. Courageous. Leta, I forgive you for all those years we had to take you to physical therapy only to find out that the diagnosis was STUBBORN.”

    Oh, this is why I chose not to continue the family DNA. Because the stubborn trait is very prominent and my brain has already exploded in the past.

    And, I love black licorice. Especially the sugar-coated gummy licorice balls.

    It’s ok not to like it. Good post!

  • Angela

    Love it!

    I like to scare people too!! Fave: put the plastic object of terror in the laundry. Works every time. My bf occasionally, but repeatedly puts a plastic snake in the washer so that my almost mother in law (ahhh, scary to say) will be afraid. Best part is, it continues to work! The random panicked shout from the laundry room is priceless

  • http://www.nerdyjoseph.com Nerdy Joseph

    mmmmmm I have always loved black licorice so on this post I laugh my head off but don’t understand why you hate the stuff :)

  • Julie

    Enjoyed this morning’s laugh-fest! Thanks!

  • Leasa

    What a great way to start the day – by reading this post! You make me laugh, and Leta is darling.

  • manda

    HAHAHAHAHA.

    Awesome.

  • http://superpreemie.wordpress.com Sarah

    Oh, the dangers of having a highly intelligent child. They will get you with that DAMN LOGIC every time.

  • http://www.hustads.com Lisa Beth

    Yay! Someone who hates black licorice as much as I do! You know what’s even worse than black licorice? Those little colored rectangles that TASTE like black licorice! Or Black Sambuca-cuz it tastes like licorice too! YUCK

  • http://www.bellastitch.com Abi

    Non food items: olives, pickles, capers, raisins, licorice.

  • Sarahd

    Patience in a father and husband is THE MOST important characteristic in my book. Jon rocks!

  • Deanne G

    I have just found your BLOG and you are now making my workdays so much more enjoyable. My days have passed by so fast reading your BLOG and learning about your family. I had to comment on this post as I have the same thoughts about Black Licorice as you do…the most disgusting thing on Earth! I read your past posts on black licorice and have now forwarded those links to my husband to read so that he can understand I’m not alone! Thanks so much for all your words of wisdom!!

  • Kelsey

    I agree, black licorice is The Worst Taste in all of Tasteland. And I’ve now adopted that saying, thus irritating the crap out of my boyfriend. Thanks!! :)

  • http://missivesfromsuburbia.blogspot.com Missives From Suburbia

    HOBO VAGINA! I have been trying to describe black licorice for years. Finally, the perfect phrase. Thanks, Dooce.

  • http://memyselfandmommy.com Renee

    Spiders have nothing on black licorice. Really, really hate that stuff… How can anyone put that in their mouth?

  • LeeLoo

    I wonder what you’ll rank higher for on google now, “hobo vagina” or “hot canine semen”?

  • katie

    law school sounds like a wise investment!

  • Jennifer

    Yup. Saw that one coming.

  • http://thisitaliangemini.blogspot.com Michelle

    OMG- I can’t stand the site, smell, taste, touch, or thought of black Licorice. I’m convinced it comes from the fru-its of the dev-ill.

    Anyway, Leta is too cute for words.

  • http://choosetoshine.blogspot.com H to the Izzo

    Black licorice is disgusting. Also, I gotta say, I loved Candy’s comment about leaving balloons in the bathroom to scare her husband.

    Loved this whole post. You are such a great storyteller.

  • http://www.200books.com Amanda Patchin

    Hilarious but I LOVE BLACK LICORICE and so do both of my boys…

  • http://www.iambossy.com/ BOSSY

    There’s a strange parallel between the look of that tarantula and black licorice, come to think of it.

  • http://saturdayjane.wordpress.com Jessica

    I’m with you on the black licorice. It tastes like the Devil ate a bunch of black pepper and took a shit on a candle.

    Leta’s quite a smart cookie. Kudos to her for overcoming a fear. When you’re that age, little terrors have a way of…snowballing, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.

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  • Cindy

    Eight bottles of antibiotics as a kid that tasted like black licorice cured me of black licorice forever.

  • http://bethmann15.blogspot.com Beth

    Ugh…I could just die at the thought of black licorice, and its cousins, anise and fennel. Tell Jon you’re pregnant again…that should do the trick ;P

  • vlee

    Is it bad that I enjoy your HATE section much more than anything on your site… except Chuck.

  • ma2one
  • Missy Litzinger

    Laughing out loud on this one. You go Leta, black licorice ROCKS. I like the red too!. Thanks for sharing.

  • Meg

    First, I love the quick recovery on the “ghost/toast” thing. When I first read it I felt like I was watching a movie where the lead character does something and you’re all “NOOOO don’t do that! What are you thinking?!” Glad you recovered so well.

    And second, congratulations on raising a smart, well spoken daughter. she’s going to be a bright one. I’m sure she’ll give you a run for your money, but it’ll be worth it.

  • avigail Halberg

    we had a huntsman which is the australian equivalent of a tarantula living in our letter box or is it mail box us language anyway where we have our letters dropped. My mother was visiting from New Zealand and we dont have such huge spiders in NZ and she tried to get the letters out with a long pair of kitchen barbeque tongs. My husband refused to get rid of the spider because he enjoyed her reaction.

  • http://theboldsoul.com The Bold Soul

    I’m still LMAO at Candy’s comment (#11) with the balloons in the bathroom. Candy, you’re awesome!

    I have to say it… I LOVE the taste of black licorice. Can’t get enough. And I feel bad for you, Heather, that you don’t like it because… you’re missing out on all the SAMBUCA, too.