So far, so good
I've recently made friends with a lovely woman up the street who kindly took pity on me when she noticed that I spend my entire day with my husband. Not that Jon is difficult to live or work with. He is my soul mate and best friend. But, come on. Space in a marriage is vital to its long term survival. Almost as vital as sex. I said ALMOST. Nothing is more important than sex. Except maybe Radiohead.
Her name is Kate, and she has a gorgeous sixteen-month-old son. She's been inviting me to play dates with her friends who have similarly-aged children, and if Marlo's awake I'll bring her with me. If she's not, I'll go anyway to sip some wine. Oh wait, did I just admit that we drink during play dates?! At least I didn't mention the hookers! Close call!
Earlier this week they were meeting at a local park, and since they were holding the play date at the time we normally pick up Leta from school I decided to bring her instead of Marlo. It'd be some quality time between the two of us, and when I mentioned it to her before school it was like handing a habitual gambler your American Express Card.
A PARK? AFTER SCHOOL? WHERE SHE COULD PLAY?!!! I'm not gonna lie. Utah winters are good for at least one thing: giving me ample opportunity to play superhero.
I didn't grow up in a climate where it snows this much, but I can imagine that hearing someone say, "Not until the snow melts," every day for seven months could make you want to register for a gun.
I didn't know if there were going to be any other kids her age at the park, but I assumed that since she's so careful and sweet with Marlo that if pressed she'd be the same way with the younger kids. And you guys! I assumed right! THAT DOESN'T EVER HAPPEN. Hurry, Jon! While I'm on a winning streak head toward the kitchen! And then in ten minutes the dishwasher will be unloaded!
In fact, I was blown away by my kid, and it was one of those very rare moments when you take a look at yourself as a parent and can see the evidence that you're performing this task successfully. Most of the time you just hope that you're handling everything in a way that doesn't produce an eventual sociopath, and you don't ever get to see that, oh. You mean throwing that glass of water in his face when he was three caused him to stalk people when he was 30? OOPS!
She was so gentle and soft with those kids, and when we sent her running after Kate's son who was headed toward the street she gleefully took up the challenge. She shared their soccer balls, showed them how to take turns, and always handed it back to them if one started to feel cheated. And the entire time she smiled and laughed effortlessly. I wanted to call Jon right then and go, the Internet is wrong about us! WE'RE DOING IT RIGHT! WE'RE DOING IT RIGHT!
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FM Living
c_kidman69 said:
Dont you love those moments? They are the moments that make it worth being a parent. Enjoy and revel in it cause when it gets harder you will want to remember it.
03.05.10 - 08:49 AM / 1ameliaknapp said:
Wonderful story about your oldest. Makes me want babies.
03.05.10 - 08:50 AM / 2evertonterrace said:
It's really important to see those moments once in a while. Look at that sweet face, looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. I remember watching my daughter let everyone go in front of her in the drinking fountain line when she was very young. She was so polite - good job mama I thought. Cut to 15 years later...I'm in a hurry waiting for her to get a coffee and she was doing the SAME thing. I wanted to kill her.
03.05.10 - 08:53 AM / 3Trish has 3 girls said:
There is no better feeling than knowing you are doing something right in the parenting department! I'm not even talking about pride in your child's behavior. But the relief that they really aren't as bad as I sometimes fear they are.
03.05.10 - 08:54 AM / 4GatorJen said:
I always love that line about needing space in a marriage: For better or worse, but not for lunch!
03.05.10 - 08:56 AM / 5austinmomof7 said:
Good job Momma! I love when others get to see the side of your kid that you see and love.
03.05.10 - 09:03 AM / 6mydogwontbite said:
out of all your stories about motherhood, this one makes me actually consider having children.
what a beautiful post!
also: have you heard about thom's shows? atoms for peace tix go on sale sunday for the sf bay area shows (2 nights) in april!
03.05.10 - 09:07 AM / 7kayakgrrl said:
Love it. (And that picture is amazing.)
03.05.10 - 09:07 AM / 8Daddy Scratches said:
I'm totally with you. When you spend 99 percent of the time feeling like you don't have a clue, and you're sure you're DOING IT WRONG, it is truly huge when the rare moment comes along that gives you a sign you're not raising a future schizophrenic after all.
03.05.10 - 09:08 AM / 9HeckYes said:
Of course you're doing it right! Look at your beautiful, happy daughters. No one is perfect, but you are great parents doing the best you can. The internet can suck it!
03.05.10 - 09:08 AM / 10arishell said:
When a moment like that happens, I think back to the morning after I brought Sabine home from the hospital. I called my mom and cried "I don't know what I am doing"! She hurried right over (no lipstick!!). Twelve years later at a parent teacher conference you get the validation that you did know what you were doing somehow.
03.05.10 - 09:10 AM / 11MammaJill said:
I love those moments...It makes all the hard stuff so worth it
03.05.10 - 09:13 AM / 12Calichef said:
For the most part, don't listen to the Internet. It's wrong about SO many things. Particularly parenting. You and Jon, and the wonderful extended family you are so very lucky to have, are doing a fabulous job with Leta and Marlo. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
03.05.10 - 09:14 AM / 13Figtron said:
Dude.
You have so totally given me a ray of hope right now.
My normally docile, polite and well-behaved little angel of 2.5 years is going through another rebellious phase. She frequently whacks me and develops selective hearing at her will. Egad.
We are all groping our way through this parenthood thing. So glad you have Jon to help out (single mom here) even though he sometimes makes you want to throw yourself under an eighteen wheeler.
Well done! *clapping with enthusiasm*
03.05.10 - 09:18 AM / 14Mays45 said:
Future teacher on your hands? Or maybe just a really good babysitter.
03.05.10 - 09:18 AM / 15ddicorcia said:
Those are the best moments as a parent.When your child shows evidence that she does listen to what you are trying to teach her. My daughter gave me a glimpse of that not too long ago. I was so happy!
03.05.10 - 09:21 AM / 16Wombat Central said:
Who knew playing well with others would give us such cause for celebration? UR doin' it rite, mama.
03.05.10 - 09:23 AM / 17sondela said:
That's fantastic! Both your daughters are growing up to be good people, and that is the point of it all. Those moments are so fulfilling and rewarding!
03.05.10 - 09:24 AM / 18TexasKatie said:
Yes! You are awesome!!!!!!!!! And Leta is a great kid.
03.05.10 - 09:24 AM / 19sarahd2 said:
Some of the internet thought you were doing it right all along :).
03.05.10 - 09:31 AM / 20sarahd2 said:
Some of the internet thought you were doing it right all along :).
03.05.10 - 09:32 AM / 21Ells said:
It makes me sad how defensively you feel you have to write these days.
The internet sucks! Haters will be haters! Have confidence! It's OK to drink wine at playdates!
03.05.10 - 09:37 AM / 22cipsi said:
Of COURSE you're doing it right! Now stop worrying, o.k.? You have two lovely girls who are going to grow up to be two incredible, intelligent, caring, lovely women. How could they not, with great parents like you and Jon?
You've got lots of parenting fans out here...remember that next time you hit a snag. Happens to the best of us.
Now I'm off to remove the porn links from my son's computer! :-)
03.05.10 - 09:42 AM / 23JenS said:
Congratulations!
Now, substitute "the internet" for "my mother" and you're living my life. And she's not even due to be born for 2 more weeks. (Or whenever she decides to be born.)
03.05.10 - 09:54 AM / 24stresso said:
Hope to have one of those moments soon.
Wine at playdates. I thought that was mandatory?!?!
She said who is president of the mean mommy club
03.05.10 - 09:59 AM / 25Joshua Ambyr and Co. said:
I had that SAME feeling yesterday when I got a call from another parent saying my son had protected hers from a bully...small detail I overlooked was HOW he actually went about that! Oh well, I lived in a blissful state for a small moment at least.
03.05.10 - 10:06 AM / 26Badger said:
Beautiful! Both Leta and your post x
03.05.10 - 10:06 AM / 27Krys72599 said:
Loved this post! You're right. Every once in a while we need some validation...
If it's any consolation, I'm convinced you and Jon are awesome parents - just look at those two beautiful girls!!! There's so much love in their eyes when they look at you - you're obviously doing it right!!!
03.05.10 - 10:09 AM / 28KellyUtah said:
Sounds like Leta is ready to babysit. I'm new to the area and looking for someone... She can bring Marlo. That way we could all have a night out.
Bravo!
03.05.10 - 10:15 AM / 29Svaha said:
Kudos, golf claps, hosanna-h's on high, standing Os, no curtsies though (sorry).
I've heard the first 30 years are the hardest, it's these little moments that help.
03.05.10 - 10:17 AM / 30