Becoming referee
So, let's see. How many ways have I mentioned that Marlo is completely different from Leta? She eats, she moves, she likes to French kiss electrical outlets... oh BY THE WAY. Those little plastic protectors? The ones that are supposed to prevent your baby from electrocuting herself? GUESS WHAT? Turns out they are the exact width of a baby's esophagus. I found this out when she dug one out with her little baby fingers and tossed it back like a shot of Patrón.
Now she's showing aggression. Full on get out of my way, no matter what, I will destroy you determination. First it started as I was holding her on my right hip, talking with Jon as we made lunch, and she decided she wanted to eat my necklace. I pushed away her hands only to have her push away my hands, grab hold of it again with the grip of someone hanging on for life, and then laugh at me. I'll admit it, I pulled a Leta and shouted IT'S NOT FUNNY.
This little game of pushing each other's hands out of the way continued until she realized I was serious, and that's when her pushing became shoving became BITCH I WILL CUT YOU. I dangerously hesitated for a moment to see if Jon was watching all this craziness, when suddenly she lurched like a vampire toward my neck and grabbed my necklace with her mouth. What the? Dude, this is not a baby! This is something you find trolling the sewers looking for prey!
We've now had to have serious discussions with Leta about how she's not supposed to let Marlo grab her glasses. Glasses are delicate. Marlo is not. When she reaches for them, SWAT HER.
Not really. But kind of. Maybe a really firm tap. Right in the forehead.
Leta, however, is also really delicate, and this morning she ran into the room after Marlo finished her bottle and jumped on the bed right beside her. Instantly, Marlo reached up and jerked Leta's glasses off of her face. All three of us go NUH UH UH simultaneously, and Leta gently removed them from Marlo's fingers. Marlo sensed Leta's weakness, something she most certainly learned while trolling, and grabbed them again, this time while grunting and pushing Leta away with her other hand. OK. FOUL. I don't watch sports, but Leta would definitely get two free throws for that one.
(I had to google free throws to make sure it wasn't three throws. This is what Tyra does to your brain.)
Let's just say that Leta ended up with her glasses safely perched on her face, her arms crossed, pouting that Marlo has moved on from playing tickle games to tackle football. And Marlo lay on her back acting as if a current of electricity was running the entire length of her body, an ungodly noise hissing its way through her two bottom teeth. The only two teeth in her mouth.
God help Jon when all three of us sync up.
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FM Living
kimba said:
i come from a family of 4 girls. syncing up is the real reason polygamy shouldn't be allowed! i quickly learned why some tribes send women off during their cycles. genius.
05.24.10 - 03:13 PM / 1MJBUtah said:
ahhh, the Grabby McGrabersons phase. Always followed up by the visit from Screechy McTantrum.
05.24.10 - 03:14 PM / 2hammy said:
Sounds like my daughter!
Wait until the pushing away becomes full-on slapping.
05.24.10 - 03:16 PM / 3BexBrown said:
I have 4 daughters and have a baby boy to add to the mix. Hold onto your hats folks, it gets SO much worse! Can't wait to watch the next season!
05.24.10 - 03:17 PM / 4The Prima Momma said:
My sweet, loving, would-never-hurt-a-fly, son has recently taken to clocking me as hard as he can. He may be small, but DAMN, that hurts - especially when you don't expect it.
Let's hope these particular phases pass sooner rather than later...
05.24.10 - 03:21 PM / 5Schnauzie_Mom said:
Shots of Patron...ahh! Sounds like she's going to make someone a great wingman at the bar someday:-)
05.24.10 - 03:23 PM / 6Chez Sanderosa said:
"God help Jon when all three of us sync up." - BWHAHAHAHA!!!
05.24.10 - 03:24 PM / 7witchuponastar said:
um, those electrical protectors fit in a variety of baby parts and if you had twin girls you would also know that.
05.24.10 - 03:44 PM / 8sweetpotatopie said:
No. I don't believe you. Marlo looks way too sweet to be this monster you have described. Those eyes? Those dimples? Nope. Not possible.
05.24.10 - 03:46 PM / 9Parsing Nonsense said:
I guess Marlo's just fulfilling that axiom of wild second children. Poor Leta's going to have to start learning how to fight with her gloves off, or at least start learning how to make it look like every bad thing's her little sister's fault...
05.24.10 - 04:08 PM / 10mycouchhascrumbs said:
I.so.know. I honestly believe you and I, of course I am biased, but I believe that you and I have the most adorable babies. They are just about a month apart. Jacob turned 12 months on May 8. I also believe some day they should get married, but hey, thats not the point here. I didnt think I could get a happier baby then my first son, and then Jacob came a long. And he is SUCH a happy little boy, and so so sweet. BUT. in the last month or so, his temper has shown up full force. And it is something to be very very afraid of. That sweet little thing will scream and flail and let his body go limp if you even think of taking something away from him. Usually he likes to try to unplug things, which of course gives me a heart attack every time. And now that he has a mouth full of sharp puppy teeth, he thinks its hilarious to bite me. During his rage he will clamp down on whatever body part he can, and when I react(or dont, tried that too) he will laugh in that evil laugh, and then continue to throw his massive fit. So. I feel your pain. I know how misleading it can be to have this adorable little baby, and have them scare the crap out of you. Well, really I just shake my head, and turn away so I can laugh at him. *sigh* oh being a mom, huh?
05.24.10 - 04:09 PM / 11twelvedaysold said:
This is your brain on Tyra?
05.24.10 - 04:10 PM / 12juliemewood said:
Ummmm, amen to that! Our 2nd is an exact replica of what you just described. Watch out!!
Oh, and good luck too!
05.24.10 - 04:16 PM / 13austinmomof7 said:
My youngest is definitely the meanest. Everyone says that it's because she has to compete with six older brothers and sisters, but that's totally bogus. She's just plain mean and all six of them bow down to her and give her whatever she wants. She is in charge and she knows it.
05.24.10 - 04:38 PM / 14tallnoe said:
BIRTH CONTROL IN ACTION!!!
Thank you for that... just when I thought... "the cuteness..." HAHAHAH
Never mind. I like my birth control method.
Thanks.
05.24.10 - 05:36 PM / 15MelissaJ said:
ahhh...the second child; had that child been born first, an ONLY child it would have been. maybe they sense that your defenses are down; you think you know it all so they'll show you...whatever it is, God love 2nd babies...they are different!
05.24.10 - 06:10 PM / 16Babydoll said:
Marlo is a total bad ass! She will be a force to reckon with.
I hope you've got a good hickey from all that lunging and biting at your necklace. Makes for a great story (although the story was pretty good with the trolling vampire analogy).
05.24.10 - 06:17 PM / 17adulterousellie said:
Jon, just climb into the toaster now. Truly. It will just save time and hassle (and who knows, maybe even agony) in the long run.
05.24.10 - 06:20 PM / 18Mrs. Q. said:
It's NUMBER TWO! (The kid kind, not the um *that* kind.)
They are insane. Parenting experts say it's because they learn faster from their siblings, but my first child never ate plug covers, climbed the bookcase or tried to crawl into the dryer.
05.24.10 - 06:25 PM / 19akturner1 said:
I laughed out loud at this post, thanks! I love Marlo's antics!
05.24.10 - 06:44 PM / 20Lucy mom said:
You know, one of my favorite memories is about 13 years old. I was in my boss's office at 8:30 pm and she had her 1 year-old there. She wanted to give me something to do, handed me her son , and started digging through her desk. Suddenly, she looks at me and screams - I'm perplexed but look down at her son in my arms and see that he has my beautiful black onyx stone necklace in his mouth. And frankly, he looks like he's fine with it. I started laughing, stopped when I saw the I'll-fire-you-on-the-spot-bitch look on her face and calmly removed the necklace from him and handed him back to his mother.
Two weeks later my own little Lucy sucked down the same necklace and I lauhghed again, only this time the job wasn't on the line.
I like that you and Jon enjoy every moment of this time.
05.24.10 - 07:53 PM / 22blytheswideshut said:
Elliott who is two weeks younger than Marlo is about 1 month ahead of her in the "aggressive baby" stakes. We have squealing, biting, slapping and shoving.
The worst part of it is the out and out belly laugh at being reprimanded and the word "No!" well, lets just say he seems to think it's some sort of comedy routine.
My favourite it the lunge for something - glasses, necklace, buttons, laptop - the reprimand - the laugh at being told off, then the gentle way he snuggles into your shoulder looks up at you - then !crunch! the vicious bite in your delicate neck/shoulder/arm/BREAST-flesh.
I want my cute little one back. This almost walking, climbing, screeching monkey-baby is getting sent back.
05.24.10 - 07:53 PM / 23mamadouce said:
my 2 year old consistently bullies my 4 year old. It is too funny! He actually takes his older brothers toys just because he knows that it gets him all riled up. Yesterday, he grabbed his favorite planet hero figure and ran away giggling the whole time and finally getting down on all fours and shoving it under the couch. My older son was hysterical crying, while his baby bro stuck his thumb in his mouth and cooly waddled away as if to say, "my work here is done." Was it wrong that my husband and I just watch this all go down, laughing and certainly not intervening?
05.24.10 - 08:13 PM / 24SLCgirl said:
Yeah, the outlet covers themselves are a choking hazard. Babinski's in Foothill Village sells outlet covers that are wall plates. They are pricy, so I'm taking them with me when we move!
05.24.10 - 08:44 PM / 25kristanhoffman said:
LOL to kimba's comment, and thank heavens Coco doesn't have a cycle too... (Or at least I assume.)
05.24.10 - 09:19 PM / 26mamakelly said:
Inevitably, I will someday be punished for how hard I just laughed at that. I know my day will come.
05.24.10 - 09:31 PM / 27Angeerah said:
Seriously, what is with the laughing? W is a little older than Marlos and does this to me all the time. He thinks that me reprimanding him is the most hysterical thing ever. I can only imagine what junior high will be like.
05.25.10 - 01:59 AM / 28dykewife said:
screw syncing, think of what the poor man will be like if y'all sequence. one, then the other then the last. in sync he has the idea that after a few days it'll all be over. in sequence it won't end until you decide to go into menopause and the girls move out of the house.
i love thinking positive thoughts.
05.25.10 - 03:02 AM / 29SarahP of Naked... said:
He'll probably have to leave for 5 to 7 days each month, returning only to throw red meat and chocolate into the window once a day.
05.25.10 - 05:23 AM / 30magwilky said:
I feel your pain. My girls are very similar to yours. My first child: very sweet and gentle, the younger one, who is now 4, spawn of the devil (just kidding, kind of) She loves to bully her 8 year old sister. The physical harm peaked when she was between 2.5 and 3.5 and has tapered slightly, but maybe because the big sis started fighting back. Oh man, it is a CHALLENGE (read: pain in the ass) mediating between the 2 of them, usually I just let them duke it out.
05.25.10 - 06:44 AM / 31