• kmpinkel

    oh shit! I swear those bastards are trying to get one step ahead of the europeans and combining a toliet and a bidet. They need japanese consultants on those brain sthucking devices.

  • Brookelyn Bridge

    I despise automatic toilets. My 4 year old REFUSES to use one. Even when I promise her that I will cover the sensor so it will not flush on her.

  • christine

    I still have to hold my hand over the sensor when my eight year goes to the bathroom….I hate those things, too!!! Definitely was not invented by a mother of a young child!

  • http://twwilliams.com/ Tommy Williams

    As a 6’1″ male without children, it had never occurred to me that automatically flushing toilets could be a problem. I have always thought the auto flushing toilets and urinals are fantastic since there seem to be so many people who use public restrooms who are unwilling to flush.

  • Paula

    Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! <— intentional overuse of exclamation points. Holy God that kid is funny!

  • maria

    this is why I love reading your blog! such a great story.

  • Bryna

    Post it notes! Really, I keep some in my wallet to cover the sensor until we’re done.

  • Jeannie Ramsey

    I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe!

  • Jodie

    A very similar story resulted in one liner that will go down in history as a favorite from my daughter. “Those ‘automagic’ toilets scare the hell out of me, Mom!”

  • LizX

    What a hideous little beast. That is one jacked up grill.

  • ali

    True story: 3yo public pooping at the mall. Me, preparing to wipe 3yo and bent over child in that manner that all parents of potty-trained but short-armed children know.

    Damn auto-toilet flushed in my face….and I felt a splash. Yeah. Still get the dry heaves over that one.

  • dudeington

    I live very close to that park and have never used the toilets because I assumed they were gross. Good to know they’re decent if somewhat terrifying.

  • summer

    you just changed my life….and my 4 year old’s who is desperately afraid of auto-flush toilets.

  • cattail722

    Oh, geez, man that was hilarious! Thanks for making the end of my “work” day! I am in tears over here.

  • Suzanne Winter-Armstrong

    O-M-G!!! I laughed ’til I wet my pants! Hilarious!

  • Anu

    Holy cow!! I just fell off my chair laughing! She is totally you :)

  • Deb

    At Disney, they give out “magic stickers” that you put over the sensors to stop the toilets from flushing. I SO wish I’d thought of carrying those around when my little one was scared of the automatic toilets!

  • Amy

    You can wet a small wad of toilet paper and place it on the sensor. :-)

  • Cindy Rollert

    omg, she’s amazing. <3 her.

  • Heidi

    Tears of laughter. Oh my God.

  • jennifer

    I don’t even know where to start on all the pieces of that that made me laugh out loud!

  • http://www.thriftstoremama.com/ Thrift Store Mama

    Hate, hate, HATE THOSE STUPID TOILETS ! Always cover sensor with toilet paper.

  • Magatha

    “…One day Marlo is going to get arrested for scaling a building in the
    nude. A building whose award-winning blueprints were drawn by Leta….”
    This is, like, perfect.

  • Amy

    I hadn’t been in years, but I took my kids there a couple weeks ago. (I love the astroturf. I want it for my house.) And the trip to Liberty Park prompted me to order Savannah Smiles on amazon later that night. We had a pizza party. At the end, my daughter shrieked at me for showing her a movie with such a sad ending. Totally didn’t think that one through.

  • Sarah

    This is an amazing story. Tangent: Does she ever need to go when she gets excited? To this day (I’m bordering on 29), I still get, um, the urge when I walk into bookstores. It’s that knowing stomach ache. The source? All those years my mom abandoned me at the library as a kid, when I became so overwhelmed by ALL THE BOOKS there were to read, that I’d literally get a stomach ache and need to go.

  • http://allconsuming.com.au/ allconsuming

    Auto-flushing toilets? You Americans are just.so.weird.

  • Michelle Houck Ross

    Crying I’m laughing so hard!

  • wifey615

    OMG, that was hilarious!

  • Celeste

    OH.MY.GOSH! I was laughing so hard I was (still am) crying!!

  • Marissa

    My four year old asks everytime we enter a public restroom, “is it automatic flush?” because it is the scariest thing on earth! Even more fun when the two year old wants to touch EVERYTHING in the stall while her sister does her business.

  • Teal

    I seriously laughed at loud at this post! And “…that a toilet sthucked my brain out of my butt!” has to be one of the greatest things ever written on this blog. Hilarious.

  • MicheleRS

    OMG, you changed MY life too and my daughter is 8! She HATES those things!

  • Erika


  • kacy

    I really need to know what Leta said when she told her that……..and also why does she look so much older in this years school picture?

  • Julie

    “…a toilet sthucked my brain out of my butt!” Future masthead material, eh?

    Even funnier, I could actually see/hear this conversation in my mind’s eye. Even funnier than THAT, I could totally see this conversation taking place between me and my 8yo son. Except for the being in the same bathroom part, since they don’t allow girls in the boys room.

  • Lauren3

    OH MY GLORIOUS GOD OF CHEESEBURGERS HER PRESCHOOL PICTURE. That, in combination with this story… I crumble from her loveliness.

  • http://oddlovescompany.com/blog/ Katybeth

    That is very very funny.

  • adriana

    if you hadn’t previously mentioned the school pics, i would have assumed she took them after the brains sthucking incident and this was now her permanent expression. very alert!! your kid kills me in such a good way!

  • Junebug67

    OMG – I thought I was the only one!

  • Susan

    you really should warn people not to have food in there mouth when reading that last part….i nearly choked from laughing so hard…..still have tears in my eyes! too funny!

  • Kana

    Errrr… We have them in Europe too!

  • Kana

    Thanks for the laugh! Nearly crying :’-D

  • Anonymous

    Still going into the bathroom stall with your EIGHT year old? WTF?!

  • Rhonda Proctor

    OMG I can’t tell you how glad I am that you are documenting Marlo’s childhood. That kid has got to be the funnest kid ever. I’m sitting here by myself, reading this and laughing so hard I’m crying!

  • Dayna

    My story went something similar but as I bent down to help my mouth was partially open and…we’ll, I’m sure you can guess the rest.

  • Jared

    I remember when Liberty Park was definitely “the wrong side of the tracks.” You went down there only if you were wondering what it was like to be murdered.

  • Katie Rose

    This may be my most favorite post of yours ever!!

  • Miriam Bell

    Yes, my husband is a plumber and he gave me that tip. It’s what he and his crew will do when they have to work on or around them. You can also drape toilet paper over the sensor, if it’s not mounted flush to the wall. My kids call it making the toilet monster go to sleep. Then they get to wake him/her up at the end. :)

  • Hannah

    ME TOO!

  • Beth

    My best friend’s daughter used to tell me how she hated those “I know when you’re done potties!”